anyone got pg jokes?

tripledoubletripledouble 7,636 Posts
edited December 2008 in Strut Central
i gotta mc a fundraiser for today for an urban farm. stage, bands, me in a tux...i could use some vegetable or farmer jokes!!!b, 21b, 21whats orange and sounds like a parrot??

  Comments


  • djannadjanna 1,543 Posts
    Might not translate into type butb, 21b, 21b, 21What do you get when you mix a brown chicken with a brown cow?b, 21b, 21b, 21BROWN chicka- BROWN COW (ala bam chick bam BOW)

  • JimBeamJimBeam Seattle. 2,012 Posts
    why did the donkey learn to play guitar?b, 21he was tired of haulin oats.

  • /font1
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    h, 21
    b, 21Might not translate into type but
    b, 21
    b, 21
    b, 21What do you get when you mix a brown chicken with a brown cow?
    b, 21
    b, 21
    b, 21BROWN chicka- BROWN COW (ala bam chick bam BOW)
    b, 21
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    font class="post"1b, 21b, 21hahaaaaha thats retarded.

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    h, 21
    b, 21why did the donkey learn to play guitar?
    b, 21he was tired of haulin oats.
    b, 21
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    font class="post"1b, 21b, 21oooh thats good

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    b, 21whats orange and sounds like a parrot??
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    font class="post"1b, 21b, 21A CARROT!!!!!! img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/oj.gif" alt="" 21

  • thread over, too perfect. YES

  • eliseelise 3,252 Posts
    /font1
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    h, 21
    b, 21
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    font class="small"1Quote:
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    h, 21
    b, 21why did the donkey learn to play guitar?
    b, 21he was tired of haulin oats.
    b, 21
    b, 21
    h, 21
    font class="post"1
    b, 21
    b, 21oooh thats good
    b, 21
    b, 21
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    font class="post"1b, 21b, 21haha!!

  • Not farm related by PG. b, 21b, 21Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

  • Because it was too (two) tired a href="http://instantrimshot.com/" target="_blank"1!!!!/a1

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    h, 21
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    h, 21
    b, 21Might not translate into type but
    b, 21
    b, 21
    b, 21What do you get when you mix a brown chicken with a brown cow?
    b, 21
    b, 21
    b, 21BROWN chicka- BROWN COW (ala bam chick bam BOW)
    b, 21
    b, 21
    h, 21
    font class="post"1
    b, 21
    b, 21hahaaaaha thats retarded.
    b, 21
    b, 21
    h, 21
    font class="post"1b, 21b, 21I swear to God...Daze had me pissed at myself for laughing so hard at that stupid ass (re: FUNNY AS F*CK) joke. Called me at work and went straight into it. I hung up on his ass and within 20 minutes had the entire 2nd floor of my building rolling their eyes and laughing their asses off.b, 21b, 21Where can you find a dog with no legs?b, 21b, 21b, 21Right where you left him.

  • yuichiyuichi Urban sprawl 11,331 Posts
    Hey Tripledouble,b, 21b, 21Yea, I got pg jokes. What's 6 foot, has rows, and likes to shoot the ball?

  • rape_donkeysb, 21b, 21b, 21img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wtf.gif" alt="" 21

  • When I was a kid, I found my dad's Truly Tasteless Jokes books and read them cover-to-cover, all in stealth. One joke that stuck with me:b, 21b, 21Q: What's the difference between parsley and pu**y?b, 21A: Nobody eats parsley.b, 21b, 21Fast-forward a few years. I'm in high school, watching Saturday morning cartoons with my little nephew. The program we were watching would have jokes and riddles as they went to commercial--silly things like, "What has 88 keys but opens no doors? A piano!"b, 21b, 21So as they go to commercial, I hear, "What's the difference between parsley and pussycat? Nobody eats PUSSYCAT!" followed by a loud MEOW1b, 21b, 21To this day, I still can't figure out if someone actually misunderstood the original joke to be about cats, or--even harder to fathom--how they slipped that one by censors and got it aired as part of a children's program.

  • Why is Corn a Pirate's favorite vegetable?b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21( Because it's a Buck-An-Ear)

  • Guy walks into an empty bar, and sits down... orders a beer. The bartender serves the beer, and walks to the other end of the bar to clean glasses.b, 21b, 21Suddenly, the patron hears, "You look great today!"b, 21b, 21He looks up, but the bartender is in the same spot, towel in hand, working on the glasses.b, 21b, 21So, the patron goes back to his beer, and he hears, "You are a go-getting, excellent worker!" Again, the patron looks up stunned, and sees the empty bar... and, the bartender down at the other end, toweling off glasses.b, 21b, 21Confused, the patron calls out, 'Hey. Do you hear that? Who is saying that?'b, 21b, 21The bartender replied, 'Oh, that's the peanuts. They're complimentary.'

  • What do you call a deer with no eyes?b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21(No-Eye Deer)b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21What do you call a deer with no eyes, and no legs?b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21(Still No-Eye Deer)b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no dick?b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21b, 21(Still-No-f*cking-Eye-Deer)b, 21(Obviously, that last one isn't PG)

  • arright, heres some of the material i usedb, 21some was rela bad, but that was kindof the pointb, 21b, 21ok, vegetarians eat vegatables...but what do humanitarians eat?b, 21b, 21whats a plumbers favorite vegetable? LEEKS!!b, 21b, 21what vegetable should you eat in the basement? CELERYb, 21b, 21a farmer walks into a library and says "can i have a bag of fresh produce?" librarian says, "sir this is a library!" farmer whispers apologetically "oh! can i have a bag of fresh produce"b, 21b, 21b, 21less pg:b, 21if honey is made by honeybees, what kind of bees make milk? BOOBEES!!b, 21b, 21what did the egg say before they put it in boiling water?b, 21"hey, i just got laid and its gonna take me a while to get hard!"b, 21b, 21chicken and egg are in bed. chicken leans over to the egg and says,"well i guess that answers that question"b, 21b, 21b, 21i was an ass on stage and thats what the crowd wanted

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    /font1
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    h, 21
    b, 21Guy walks into a bar.......
    b, 21
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    font class="post"1b, 21b, 21 img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badassbuddy_com-ledzeppelin.gi" alt="" /1

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    img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badassbuddy_com-ledzeppelin.gi" alt="" /1
    b, 21
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    font class="post"1b, 21b, 21^^^b, 21b, 21False.b, 21b, 21I love a good bad 'Guy walks into a bar...' joke.b, 21b, 21b, 21Skeleton walks into a bar. Orders a beer and a mop.

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    /font1
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    h, 21
    b, 21Guy walks into a bar.......
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    font class="post"1
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    img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/badassbuddy_com-ledzeppelin.gi" alt="" /1
    b, 21
    b, 21
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    font class="post"1
    b, 21
    b, 21^^^
    b, 21
    b, 21False.
    b, 21
    b, 21I love a good bad 'Guy walks into a bar...' joke.
    b, 21
    b, 21
    b, 21Skeleton walks into a bar. Orders a beer and a mop.
    b, 21
    b, 21
    h, 21
    font class="post"1b, 21b, 21Simple....b, 21b, 21A guy walks into a bar....b, 21b, 21get it?

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    h, 21
    b, 21
    b, 21
    b, 21Simple....
    b, 21
    b, 21A guy walks into a bar....
    b, 21
    b, 21get it?
    b, 21
    b, 21
    h, 21
    font class="post"1b, 21b, 21I prefer...b, 21b, 21b, 21Three men walked into a bar. b, 21b, 21The fourth one ducked.
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