Help: Stinky Coworker

hogginthefogg

There's a woman in my office who started wearing a new fragrance this week that smells exactly like Comet. I'm at a loss; she reports to me, looks up to me, and is incredibly insecure.b, 21b, 21How does one proceed?

rascmon

retaliate, don't bathe

The_Non

Maybe she's moonlighting and can't help it.

Swayze

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Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21There's a woman in my office who started wearing a new fragrance this week that smells exactly like Comet. I'm at a loss; she reports to me, looks up to me, and is incredibly insecure.b, 21b, 21How does one proceed? b, 21b, 21h, 21

b, 21b, 21Comet? Thats the smell of clean. You prolly smell like a thousand miles of shit to her.b, 21b, 21Just sayin...

bassie

A few years ago, a woman at my office began to smell terrible, like not healthy terrible. Her whole section smelled of her and it was very difficult to maintain a conversation. She was one of my favourite people at work and I was at a loss - I mean I had never, and still haven't, smelled anything like it. I asked a few people outside of the office what they would do and the most sane, least humiliating suggestion was an anonymous note. I spoke to a guy at work who worked in her section and was really suffering. We were in the midst of trying to come up with the wording - and really, we DID NOT want to do it at all - when her contract ended and she left.

Beatsoup

Maybe some graffiti on a cubicle wall might help. Something like this just change the face and names,b, 21b, 21 img src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1338/777424936_e28605ff67.jpg"1

bassie

Oh yea - a lot of workplaces now have a no fragrance rule - or at least asking that it be mild. Is this not really the case in the States?

hogginthefogg

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Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21Oh yea - a lot of workplaces now have a no fragrance rule - or at least asking that it be mild. Is this not really the case in the States? b, 21b, 21h, 21

b, 21b, 21Well, my company manufactures and sells skin care, cosmetics and fragrances, so....b, 21b, 21And for the record, she is not wearing one of our fragrances (but I can't remember the name of it).

diane_diane

send her a link to this post.

The-gaffler

sprinkle some ajax around her desk.

Young_Phonics

eau de catpiss.

billbradley

Send an anonymous email to them. You can use this site for example.b, 21b, 21http://www.nooffenseoranything.com/bodyodor.html/a1b, 21b, 21"Below is the text of the message your friend will receive after you've submitted their name and email address in the form to the right.b, 21b, 21Dear [name],b, 21No offense or anything, but a friend who cares would like you to know that you have a body odor problem. Please don't be offended - lots of people suffer from body odor and are unaware of it! We're human and sometimes we stink, but there's plenty you can do to address your problem:b, 21b, 21 1. Bathe daily. Use a mild soap everywhere - every nook and cranny, but particularly your armpits and other, ahem, regions where limbs meet your torso.b, 21 2. Wear deodorant. Every day. Every grocery store, pharmacy and convenience store carry deodorant and it is reasonably inexpensive. If you sweat a lot, choose an antiperspirant.b, 21 3. Do NOT try to mask your odor with cologne. You'll just stink even more.b, 21 4. Do your laundry regularly. You should probably wash your shirt after every wearing. With pants, you can sometimes get more than a day's wear out of them.b, 21 5. If you already do all of the above and still have a body odor problem, you may have a condition called "hyperhidrosis," or excessive sweating. See your doctor.b, 21 6. Visit http://www.NoOffenseOrAnything.com/bodyodor.html/a1 for more information on combatting this embarrassing problem.b, 21b, 21Sincerely,b, 21NoOffenseOrAnything.com"

CousinLarry

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Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21Send an anonymous email to them. You can use this site for example.b, 21b, 21http://www.nooffenseoranything.com/bodyodor.html/a1b, 21b, 21"Below is the text of the message your friend will receive after you've submitted their name and email address in the form to the right.b, 21b, 21Dear [name],b, 21No offense or anything, but a friend who cares would like you to know that you have a body odor problem. Please don't be offended - lots of people suffer from body odor and are unaware of it! We're human and sometimes we stink, but there's plenty you can do to address your problem:b, 21b, 21 1. Bathe daily. Use a mild soap everywhere - every nook and cranny, but particularly your armpits and other, ahem, regions where limbs meet your torso.b, 21 2. Wear deodorant. Every day. Every grocery store, pharmacy and convenience store carry deodorant and it is reasonably inexpensive. If you sweat a lot, choose an antiperspirant.b, 21 3. Do NOT try to mask your odor with cologne. You'll just stink even more.b, 21 4. Do your laundry regularly. You should probably wash your shirt after every wearing. With pants, you can sometimes get more than a day's wear out of them.b, 21 5. If you already do all of the above and still have a body odor problem, you may have a condition called "hyperhidrosis," or excessive sweating. See your doctor.b, 21 6. Visit http://www.NoOffenseOrAnything.com/bodyodor.html/a1 for more information on combatting this embarrassing problem.b, 21b, 21Sincerely,b, 21NoOffenseOrAnything.com" b, 21b, 21h, 21

b, 21b, 21This would also be a great prank to play on some OCD asshole who doesn't actually smell but will bug the F*ck out thinking that they do.

discos_alma

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Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21Send an anonymous email to them. You can use this site for example.b, 21b, 21http://www.nooffenseoranything.com/bodyodor.html/a1b, 21b, 21"Below is the text of the message your friend will receive after you've submitted their name and email address in the form to the right.b, 21b, 21Dear [name],b, 21No offense or anything, but a friend who cares would like you to know that you have a body odor problem. Please don't be offended - lots of people suffer from body odor and are unaware of it! We're human and sometimes we stink, but there's plenty you can do to address your problem:b, 21b, 21 1. Bathe daily. Use a mild soap everywhere - every nook and cranny, but particularly your armpits and other, ahem, regions where limbs meet your torso.b, 21 2. Wear deodorant. Every day. Every grocery store, pharmacy and convenience store carry deodorant and it is reasonably inexpensive. If you sweat a lot, choose an antiperspirant.b, 21 3. Do NOT try to mask your odor with cologne. You'll just stink even more.b, 21 4. Do your laundry regularly. You should probably wash your shirt after every wearing. With pants, you can sometimes get more than a day's wear out of them.b, 21 5. If you already do all of the above and still have a body odor problem, you may have a condition called "hyperhidrosis," or excessive sweating. See your doctor.b, 21 6. Visit http://www.NoOffenseOrAnything.com/bodyodor.html/a1 for more information on combatting this embarrassing problem.b, 21b, 21Sincerely,b, 21NoOffenseOrAnything.com" b, 21b, 21h, 21

b, 21b, 21HILARIOUS! But getting this message would fusking suck.

picoandsepulveda

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Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21retaliate, don't bathe b, 21b, 21h, 21

b, 21b, 21lol

bassie

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Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21 anonymous email b, 21b, 21h, 21

b, 21b, 21how do you do that???

drewnice

Is there an HR rep who could address the issue with her?b, 21Takes the stress off you to say something directly.b, 21b, 21I had a similar situation with a co-worker. The smell was terrible. Even those who walked by his office were perplexed. b, 21b, 21Turns out a rotting mouse carcass had been in there for 6+ months.

Unknown

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Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21Is there an HR rep who could address the issue with her?b, 21Takes the stress off you to say something directly.b, 21b, 21I had a similar situation with a co-worker. The smell was terrible. Even those who walked by his office were perplexed. b, 21b, 21Turns out a rotting mouse carcass had been in there for 6+ months. b, 21b, 21h, 21

b, 21b, 21In where, his ass?b, 21b, 21I say fill a gatorade bucket with Febreze, run in screaming that she won the Superbowl and dump it on her.

djdaze

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Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21/font1Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21Is there an HR rep who could address the issue with her?b, 21Takes the stress off you to say something directly.b, 21b, 21I had a similar situation with a co-worker. The smell was terrible. Even those who walked by his office were perplexed. b, 21b, 21Turns out a rotting mouse carcass had been in there for 6+ months. b, 21b, 21h, 21

b, 21b, 21In where, his ass?b, 21b, 21I say fill a gatorade bucket with Febreze, run in screaming that she won the Superbowl and dump it on her. b, 21b, 21h, 21b, 21b, 21HAHAHAHAHHAAHA

therecordpeddler

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Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21Is there an HR rep who could address the issue with her?b, 21Takes the stress off you to say something directly.b, 21b, 21I had a similar situation with a co-worker. The smell was terrible. Even those who walked by his office were perplexed. b, 21b, 21Turns out a rotting mouse carcass had been in there for 6+ months. b, 21b, 21h, 21

b, 21b, 21if that were your office, how would you not notice something like that?

selperfuge

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Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21Is there an HR rep who could address the issue with her?b, 21Takes the stress off you to say something directly.b, 21b, 21I had a similar situation with a co-worker. The smell was terrible. Even those who walked by his office were perplexed. b, 21b, 21Turns out a rotting mouse carcass had been in there for 6+ months. b, 21b, 21h, 21

b, 21b, 21oh man this EXACT thing happened to me. my boss and HR called me "to talk". i got a bit shook because i knew i was about to be fired or called out on something bad i might have done img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" 21b, 21b, 21BUT it had nothing to do to me. one of my direct reports had two complaints lodged against him -- it turns out dude was dropping some nasty farts, but SBDs. my boss didn't want to confront him but thought it was funny as hell. i told him to hold back the guy might have IBS or something and sue us if it became an office joke.b, 21b, 21My "talk" with him was.. awkward.

mylatency

I could watch this all day, thanks man:b, 21b, 21img src="http://i203.photobucket.com/albums/aa182/kittymidwife/weird.gif"1

verb606

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Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21/font1Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21Is there an HR rep who could address the issue with her?b, 21Takes the stress off you to say something directly.b, 21b, 21I had a similar situation with a co-worker. The smell was terrible. Even those who walked by his office were perplexed. b, 21b, 21Turns out a rotting mouse carcass had been in there for 6+ months. b, 21b, 21h, 21

b, 21b, 21In where, his ass?b, 21b, 21I say fill a gatorade bucket with Febreze, run in screaming that she won the Superbowl and dump it on her. b, 21b, 21h, 21 b, 21b, 21b, 21img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/sscg.gif" alt="" 21

white_tea

I swear, the bodily function threads always bring out the heavy hitters on this site. b, 21b, 21Re: The Febreeze, I feel like a large amount of that stuff would almost disintegrate a ho.

verb606

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Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21There's a woman in my office who started wearing a new fragrance this week that smells exactly like Comet. I'm at a loss; she reports to me, looks up to me, and is incredibly insecure.b, 21b, 21How does one proceed? b, 21b, 21h, 21

b, 21b, 21b, 21Back to the lecture at hand.b, 21b, 21b, 21This situation is dicey because the offender's stench is perfume-related, not BO-related. When a dude just smells foul you can be like "wash yo ass," but it seems as though this woman knows the meaning of water and soap and simply has bad taste in fragrances. b, 21b, 21Although maybe she's got bad BO too. If she can't realize that her perfume smells like Comet then her olfactory sense in general is questionable.b, 21b, 21You can always have someone roll up and go, "Does it smell like Comet in here?" and then bounce. You don't want him to do the sniff sniff sniff..its you! thing. That's too much. But enough to put it her mind that "oh shit, I think I smell like Comet!"

hogginthefogg

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Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21/font1Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21Is there an HR rep who could address the issue with her?b, 21Takes the stress off you to say something directly.b, 21b, 21I had a similar situation with a co-worker. The smell was terrible. Even those who walked by his office were perplexed. b, 21b, 21Turns out a rotting mouse carcass had been in there for 6+ months. b, 21b, 21h, 21

b, 21b, 21oh man this EXACT thing happened to me. my boss and HR called me "to talk". i got a bit shook because i knew i was about to be fired or called out on something bad i might have done img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" 21b, 21b, 21BUT it had nothing to do to me. one of my direct reports had two complaints lodged against him -- it turns out dude was dropping some nasty farts, but SBDs. my boss didn't want to confront him but thought it was funny as hell. i told him to hold back the guy might have IBS or something and sue us if it became an office joke.b, 21b, 21My "talk" with him was.. awkward. b, 21b, 21h, 21b, 21b, 21You worked with Sween?b, 21b, 21b, 21Also, SweenDoggy has kilted me twice today: with the above Gatorade move and the Irish Goodbye.

billbradley

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Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21/font1Quote:/font1h, 21b, 21 anonymous email b, 21b, 21h, 21

b, 21b, 21how do you do that??? b, 21b, 21h, 21b, 21b, 21Outside of using that website to send the email you could always telnet into your email SMTP server and type out the commands to make it appear like it was coming from anyone in the FROM: field.b, 21b, 21http://www.yuki-onna.co.uk/email/smtp.htmlb, 21b, 21 img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/GetOnMyComp_gm.jpg" alt="" 21