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Being asked to donate sperm . nrr

DeegreezDeegreez 804 Posts
edited October 2008 in Strut Central
At a family wedding last night my brother confided in me that an old friend of his asked him to be a sperm donor, she has been in a committed lesbian partnership for over 8 years.b,121He's currently thinking this through carefully and wants to let them know in a few weeks, he hasn't yet told his girlfriend either and is taking his time to consider it. I was unsure as to how to advise him and still want to know more, being that this is my go-to public forum I thought I would ask, have any of you ever been asked to do this and what was the outcome and how did your family react or did you tell them? etc.

  Comments

  • rascmonrascmon 441 Posts
    that's a little weird. it would essentially be his kid, but he'd have no involvement in it. That would mess me up a bit personally.
  • jaymackjaymack 5,199 Posts
    this place never ceases to amaze me
  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    Why couldnt they raise it and he be involved on a minimal level. No money - just simple acknowledgement as the dad. b,121b,121But then he had to tell his future wife/family that he sired a child for a friend that needed his cream.b,121b,121As long as the couple doesnt ask him for anything that will compromise his steez.b,121b,121The kid is gonna wanna know who the daddy is eventually, so why not "be around" w/out any real responsability.b,121b,121The kid gets love and knows whom the daddy is.b,121b,121If she is an old friend they should have a healthy form of communication and can work out some sort of agreement where no one catches any asshurtness down the line.b,121b,121The x-factor(one of many) is the other woman.Is she on some hatterization steez?b,121If so, she can fusk it all up if she wants the kid to be "hers" w/out his presence.
  • CosmoCosmo 9,768 Posts
    One of my biggest fears is that I have a few kids out there unbeknownst to me. I mean I thought I did for the longest time, but nobody ever came forward, yet...
  • 3rdshow3rdshow 168 Posts
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  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
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    h,121
    b,121One of my biggest fears is that I have a few kids out there unbeknownst to me. I mean I thought I did for the longest time, but nobody ever came forward, yet...
    b,121
    b,121
    h,121
    font class="post"1b,121b,121Your my father
  • AlmondAlmond 1,427 Posts
    Are you my daddy?b,121b,121b,121b,121Joking aside, I think your friend should ask his girlfriend for an opinion, lest it cause any friction when she sees the lesbian friend suddenly pregnant by her man's sperm. I don't know how I will feel if a kid had half my DNA, but I wasn't really his or her "parent." I guess as a woman, I won't have to worry too much about that.
  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
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    b,121
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    font class="post"1b,121b,121img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eagle.gif" alt="" /1 This is one god damn awful movie, and must be avoided at all costs.b,121b,121b,121My advice, and you really don't want it, but anyways, my advice is, if he can get his girlfriend and the two lesbian ladies to all agree to it, then they should all get together and fusk, like some bonobo monkeys on E, like a scene from Caligula and shit, Yer that'd do it. Otherwise this should probably be avoided like bad movies with dumb plots.
  • ReynaldoReynaldo 6,054 Posts
    I could help her out but my sperm ain't cheap...
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    h,121
    b,121At a family wedding last night my brother confided in me that an old friend of his asked him to be a sperm donor, she has been in a committed lesbian partnership for over 8 years.
    b,121He's currently thinking this through carefully and wants to let them know in a few weeks, he hasn't yet told his girlfriend either and is taking his time to consider it. I was unsure as to how to advise him and still want to know more, being that this is my go-to public forum I thought I would ask, have any of you ever been asked to do this and what was the outcome and how did your family react or did you tell them? etc.
    b,121
    b,121
    h,121
    font class="post"1b,121b,121I wouldn't give it a second thought if someone asked me to do this considering that the world would certainly benefit by having as much of my DNA out there as possible.
  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
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    b,121
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    h,121
    font class="post"1
    b,121
    b,121
    img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/eagle.gif" alt="" /1 This is one god damn awful movie, and must be avoided at all costs.
    b,121
    b,121
    b,121My advice, and you really don't want it, but anyways, my advice is, if he can get his girlfriend and the two lesbian ladies to all agree to it, then they should all get together and fusk, like some bonobo monkeys on E, like a scene from Caligula and shit, Yer that'd do it. Otherwise this should probably be avoided like bad movies with dumb plots.
    b,121
    b,121
    h,121
    font class="post"1b,121b,121So ur advice would be to try and get some pussy out of it?
  • DeegreezDeegreez 804 Posts
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    h,121
    b,121Why couldnt they raise it and he be involved on a minimal level. No money - just simple acknowledgement as the dad.
    b,121
    b,121But then he had to tell his future wife/family that he sired a child for a friend that needed his cream.
    b,121
    b,121As long as the couple doesnt ask him for anything that will compromise his steez.
    b,121
    b,121The kid is gonna wanna know who the daddy is eventually, so why not "be around" w/out any real responsability.
    b,121
    b,121The kid gets love and knows whom the daddy is.
    b,121
    b,121If she is an old friend they should have a healthy form of communication and can work out some sort of agreement where no one catches any asshurtness down the line.
    b,121
    b,121The x-factor(one of many) is the other woman.Is she on some hatterization steez?
    b,121If so, she can fusk it all up if she wants the kid to be "hers" w/out his presence.
    b,121
    b,121
    h,121
    font class="post"1b,121b,121b,121These are all things I asked about in depth and I spoke with him about how there needs to to be a legal agreement of some kind outlining the terms in detail, not only financially but regarding involvement or disclosure etc. In other words, he and the couple, along with their respective attorneys need to be up front about every aspect of this.b,121One of the undecided aspects is also, will he have sex with the one who plans to carry the child to term or will he donate the sperm and then have them go through an artificial insemination process. I think it's the latter but I didn't even ask that question because I was so blown away by the whole idea that I didn't get to cover this one.b,121So no one has been asked for this or discussed it ever? I guess it's uncommon.
  • DjArcadianDjArcadian 3,630 Posts
    a href="http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2004046062_sperm01.html" target="_blank"1http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2004046062_sperm01.html/a1b,121b,121Sperm donor liable for child support, judge rulesb,121b,121MELVILLE, N.Y. ??? A New York man who said he donated sperm to a female co-worker as a friendly gesture and sent presents and cards to the child over the years likely will owe child support for the college-bound teenager, according to a judge's ruling.b,121b,121"What's the saying? No good deed goes unpunished," said Deborah Kelly, a Garden City lawyer for the man, who like all the involved parties remains anonymous because of privacy concerns.b,121b,121Family Court Judge Ellen Greenberg ruled Nov. 16 that despite the mother's willingness to have the child's DNA tested, the man could not seek a paternity test to determine if he is the biological father because the results could have a "traumatic effect" upon the child, who is now 18 and lives in Oregon with the mother.b,121b,121The next step is a meeting with a support magistrate to determine the amount of child-support payments ??? if any ??? the man would have to pay until the child turns 21, Kelly said.b,121b,121Even without genetic evidence, the man's interactions with the child over the years had a patriarchal nature, said Jeffrey Herbst, a county attorney who represents the mother in the lawsuit through a federal agreement called the Uniform Interstate Family Support Act.b,121b,121"It's still a parental relationship," Herbst said.b,121b,121According to the man's testimony, in the late 1980s he was a physician at the same Nassau County hospital where the child's mother was a resident. After learning the woman and her female partner wanted to have a baby, the man donated his sperm and the woman gave birth July 26, 1989. The man, married at the time, agreed he would not have any rights or benefits in rearing the child, but the oral agreement never was put in writing, according to court documents.b,121b,121But he took the unusual step of allowing his name to appear on the child's birth certificate because he thought it was in the child's "best interests that he would have an identity when he grew older," he said in court documents.b,121b,121Before the mother, her partner and the child moved to Oregon in 1993, the man had contact with the child, he said. He also sent the child money, gifts and cards and letters signed "Dad" or "Daddy," and spoke to him by phone about seven times in the past 15 years.b,121b,121That correspondence, coupled with an affidavit from the child stating that he "has never known anyone other than [the man] to be his father," is enough for a parental relationship, according to Herbst.b,121b,121"The fact of the matter is that he held himself out as the child's father for 18 years until he asked for DNA testing," Herbst said.b,121b,121When it comes to artificial insemination by a known donor, the best protections are to have everything in writing and "do your homework," said reproductive lawyer Melissa Brisman of Park Ridge, N.J.b,121b,121advertisingb,121b,121"You can't be half a father, and half a not, under the law," she said.b,121b,121But the man's trust was abused, his lawyer said.b,121b,121"The doctor was told this is how it's going to be," Kelly said. "And 18 years later, you end up dealing with something that you didn't know you were going to deal with. Sometimes people aren't really thinking about the legal ramifications."
  • JLRJLR 3,835 Posts
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    h,121
    b,121
    b,121One of the undecided aspects is also, will he have sex with the one who plans to carry the child to term
    b,121
    b,121
    h,121
    font class="post"1b,121b,121I say he should have sex with the other woman for a more dramatic effect, like in a [i]culebron mexicano/i1
  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,025 Posts
    I think the key part above is the lack of a written agreement. But yeah, that situation sounds rather wack. The mother, in this case, sounds pretty shady.
  • willie_fugalwillie_fugal 1,862 Posts
    I'm was 100% for doing it until I read that article above. Now I'm 100% for doing it as long as he signs a written agreement to not have to pay child support at some point. Also, I agree that he should get to have sex with the woman to be impregnated instead of the lame-ass petri dish shit.
  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
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    b,121 Also, I agree that he should get to have sex with the woman to be impregnated instead of the lame-ass petri dish shit.
    b,121
    b,121
    h,121
    font class="post"1b,121b,121Why should having sex w/ the lesbian/mom be mandatory? She's Gay.b,121b,121She's not askin for his penis, she asking for his sperm.b,121b,121How does fuskin' really play into this agreement? One orgasm?b,121b,121He has a girlfriend already. What points are u scoring by fuskin'?
  • Hotsauce84Hotsauce84 8,450 Posts
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    h,121
    b,121
    b,121I say he should have sex with the other woman for a more dramatic effect, like in a [i]culebron mexicano
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    b,121
    h,121
    font class="post"1b,121b,121Hey! Leave me out of this!!!
  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,025 Posts
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    Quote:/font1h,121b,121/font1Quote:/font1h,121b,121 Also, I agree that he should get to have sex with the woman to be impregnated instead of the lame-ass petri dish shit. b,121b,121h,121
    font class="post"1b,121b,121Why should having sex w/ the lesbian/mom be mandatory? She's Gay.b,121b,121She's not askin for his penis, she asking for his sperm.b,121b,121How does fuskin' really play into this agreement? One orgasm?b,121b,121He has a girlfriend already. What points are u scoring by fuskin'? b,121b,121h,121font class="post"1b,121b,121People are just being stupid, you know how Strut do. b,121b,121Personally, I'd be a bit weirded out thinking there was someone who, genetically speaking, was my kid out there but I guess it depends on how close I feel to the family who will be in charge. I wouldn't do it for some random stranger or casual friend but again, that's just me.
  • willie_fugalwillie_fugal 1,862 Posts
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    b,121
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    b,121 Also, I agree that he should get to have sex with the woman to be impregnated instead of the lame-ass petri dish shit.
    b,121
    b,121
    h,121
    font class="post"1
    b,121
    b,121Why should having sex w/ the lesbian/mom be mandatory? She's Gay.
    b,121
    b,121She's not askin for his penis, she asking for his sperm.
    b,121
    b,121How does fuskin' really play into this agreement? One orgasm?
    b,121
    b,121He has a girlfriend already. What points are u scoring by fuskin'?
    b,121
    b,121
    h,121
    font class="post"1b,121b,121sometimes sarcasm just doesn't work out so well
  • tripledoubletripledouble 7,636 Posts
    i was approached with a similar proposition.b,121intriguing, so we engaged in some conversations, had a dinner, etc. b,121it would entail me signing rights away as a father and them not being able to hold me responsible as a father. legally drawn up and all. they would live in a different part of the country, i would be something along the lines of an uncle and no secrets would be kept.b,121i was flattered and kind of felt along the lines that sween mentioned.also it seemed like a good test for myself...could i give one of the most personal things i could give in order to help a couple shape their family and find happiness?b,121no artificial insemination either...although neither of them (or me) has ever been with a man.
  • DeegreezDeegreez 804 Posts
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    h,121
    b,121i was approached with a similar proposition.
    b,121intriguing, so we engaged in some conversations, had a dinner, etc.
    b,121it would entail me signing rights away as a father and them not being able to hold me responsible as a father. legally drawn up and all. they would live in a different part of the country, i would be something along the lines of an uncle and no secrets would be kept.
    b,121i was flattered and kind of felt along the lines that sween mentioned.also it seemed like a good test for myself...could i give one of the most personal things i could give in order to help a couple shape their family and find happiness?
    b,121no artificial insemination either...although neither of them (or me) has ever been with a man.
    b,121
    b,121
    h,121
    font class="post"1b,121b,121b,121This is exactly what was discussed.b,121Wow.b,121Ok, so then was this recent and did you go through with it? From your tone I am inferring that you did not. And why? Did they decide against it, or you? b,121I am thrown that there would be sex involved, I'm pretty sure this would be an insemination situation. But I was trying to explain to him that having sex to make a baby is really different and you can never know that until you are a father, maybe you are already so you may know, but it's truly different sexuality that comes out. But he couldn't really fathom this idea making him more attached to the process than he might usually be.
  • tripledoubletripledouble 7,636 Posts
    i didnt. when they are ready, about a year from now, theyll be in touch and we'll see what everyone thinks. sex,in order to have as natural a process as possible. rather than have a kid be a test-tube baby, was another thought.b,121im not sure where i am with the opportunity. its flattering and an honor...and i want to support loving couples having children
  • young_creamyoung_cream 540 Posts
    wether it's you or "your brother" getting a F*ck in should have no part in it this decision
  • DeegreezDeegreez 804 Posts
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    h,121
    b,121wether it's you or "your brother" getting a F*ck in should have no part in it this decision
    b,121
    b,121
    h,121
    font class="post"1b,121Not sure whom you are addressing with this comment, me or some joker, but speaking for myself this is a very serious decision and I have not posted anything remotely related to what you are commenting on, that topic has come up for others obviously in jest. b,121With that said obviously I agree with you and that is hardly the point.
  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,025 Posts
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    h,121
    b,121i didnt. when they are ready, about a year from now, theyll be in touch and we'll see what everyone thinks. sex,in order to have as natural a process as possible. rather than have a kid be a test-tube baby, was another thought.
    b,121im not sure where i am with the opportunity. its flattering and an honor...and i want to support loving couples having children
    b,121
    b,121
    h,121
    font class="post"1b,121b,121Artificial insemination and "test-tude babies" are not synonymous. Artificial insemination just refers to any means of insemination that doesn't involve direct, sexual intercourse. But they could use a turkey baster, for example. Definitely doesn't have to be petri dish contraception with embryonic implantation. b,121b,121That said, I think there's something interesting about the idea of sex as part of a favor rather than for the sake of sex as it normally exists (i.e. lust/desire). That said, I don't know if I could go through with it; I just imagine it'd be mad awkward. Sex-for-the-sake-of-pregnancy with your partner can be awkward enough, let alone with a friend who is not your lover.
  • young_creamyoung_cream 540 Posts
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    h,121
    b,121
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    h,121
    b,121wether it's you or "your brother" getting a F*ck in should have no part in it this decision
    b,121
    b,121
    h,121
    font class="post"1
    b,121Not sure whom you are addressing with this comment, me or some joker, but speaking for myself this is a very serious decision and I have not posted anything remotely related to what you are commenting on, that topic has come up for others obviously in jest.
    b,121With that said obviously I agree with you and that is hardly the point.
    b,121
    b,121
    h,121
    font class="post"1b,121b,121word, i think it should happen through intercourse just to keep it natural but that aspect shouldn't affect the decision, but you know this
  • phongonephongone 1,652 Posts
    Not to make light of the situation, but the name "Young Cream" is very a propos for this thread.
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