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Best junkie quote ever

Firebird75Firebird75 35 Posts
edited July 2005 in Off Topic (NRR)
"You owe me 50 cents. I'll NEVER forget that!"--very pissed off crackhead, 15th July 2005.

  Comments

  • generiquegenerique 625 Posts
    I was in this shady late night joint to drink a beer. There were only few people. One junkie-figure had passed out on a tabel. They played Bohemian Rapsody. I thought the junkie was in coma, but suddenly he raised his head and sang along: "nothing really matters" and then he went back in his coma. It seemed Pavlov-like.
  • SoulhawkSoulhawk 3,197 Posts
    "Sir! Sir! Can I ask you a question? Sir, I am not indigent..."

    quote from a man sitting on the sidewalk drinking a 40oz in a paper bag.

    ---
  • lambertlambert 1,166 Posts
    "Yeah, so rehabs done, I'm feeling good and I'm ready to get ahead of this thing.

    (literally a 5 second pause, looks around in both directions, then huddles in closely)

    Hey man. Are you going up to Centerville? I need to take care of some business up there real quick."

    "Oh man, could you help me find my spoon? I dropped it right over here. It's like a 1/2 inch big. Did you see it? It's not in my baggy, man!"

    (this just moments after shooting, while i'm still puffing my spliff watching this junkie crawl around, nose an inch from the ground, looking for a baggie spoon less than the size of a thumbtack)

    I've also toppled a close friend (who is now, thank god, truly sober) with all the strength of my pinky.

    Heroin rules my area.
  • SooksSooks 714 Posts
    Got woken up by junkies the other day at 6:30 AM! I hear all this yelling from outside the building across the street (not the nicest, but not "bad" or anything), and eventually it wakes me up and I see two down on their luck guys yelling at one of the windows. After a little while this younger woman comes out doing that unconscious nose-rubbing thing that people do, and they follow her down the street. Whatever. But at 6:30 AM? Get some sleep, people!
  • Otis_FunkmeyerOtis_Funkmeyer 1,321 Posts
    Overheard while walking in Hell's Kitchen in broad daylight

    "Are you sure this is crack?" - large and very suspicious female customer
  • slushslush 691 Posts
    "its not a hamster, its a gerbil!!!!!!"



    (response to "nice hamster!", which was being used to attract change)
  • rootlesscosmorootlesscosmo 12,848 Posts


    This thread is depressing the hell out of me. Reaganomics like whoah.
  • soulmarcosasoulmarcosa 4,296 Posts
    While packing out of the club at 3am in downtown Raleigh and accosted by guy on street:

    HIM: Yo man you need anything? Smoke, pills?
    ME: No that's aight.
    HIM: How about the new Young Buck CD? You need the new Lil Wayne?
    ME: (laughing) No..
    HIM: Okay man that's cool. (pauses) Listen, I just got out of jail two weeks ago and, well, I need a favor. Promise you won't laugh?
    ME: Okay.
    HIM: Aight. Promise you won't laugh. Ok. So I been out for two weeks and, well, (pauses) ...do you have a rubber I can use?
  • Options
    Unknown
    I'm never going to Taco Bell again...this week



    High School friend who has since become a fundamentalist Christian. Dude was hooked on Taco Bell.
  • gruntgravelgruntgravel 559 Posts
    "I think I just spent a twener on a kernel of popped corn"
  • lotuslandlotusland 740 Posts
    "my names marvelle love"

  • knewjakknewjak 1,231 Posts
    I witnessed a straight textbook scenario:



    buyer: "hey man, I'm a little short is that cool?"

    dealer: "well, HOW are you gonna make up for it?"

    buyer: "well I... (pauses)...fine, lets go somewhere more private"







































































































    *geeze, and it was only in Vg- condition too.

  • knewjakknewjak 1,231 Posts
    Post deleted by mylatency, your finger musta slipped, knewjak.
  • drewnicedrewnice 5,465 Posts
    So nice you had to sae eet twice!
  • progbeatzprogbeatz 451 Posts
    I witnessed a straight textbook scenario:

    buyer: "hey man, I'm a little short is that cool?"
    dealer: "well, HOW are you gonna make up for it?"
    buyer: "well I... (pauses)...fine, lets go somewhere more private"



















































    *geeze, and it was only in Vg- condition too.
    Absolute classic.I was having a bit of a dull/depressed kinda day until I read that...laughed my ass off.

    Makes me wonder? What's the craziest shit y'all have done for records?
  • rootlesscosmorootlesscosmo 12,848 Posts

    Makes me wonder? What's the craziest shit y'all have done for records?

    What are you suggesting homie?
  • GnatGnat 1,183 Posts
    As a lowly freshman at Cal I wandered Telegraph, absorbing urban decay and eccentrics for the first time. I passed a pan-handler who was propositioning those that passed by to kick him in the head for a Quarter. I admit I entertained the thought but wisely reconsidered. I don't know that he wouldn't have retaliated. It wasn't like he had a contract or anything. Anyway, I continued on down the street until I met one of his colleagues who was providing the same head kicking service for a dollar. When I informed him that they were doing it for a quarter down the steet he didn't believe me and called me a suburban wise-ass.
  • mylatencymylatency 10,475 Posts
    As a lowly freshman at Cal I wandered Telegraph, absorbing urban decay and eccentrics for the first time.

    suburban wise-ass.



    'nuff said!


    Where are you from originally, btw?
  • GnatGnat 1,183 Posts
    Originally I stomped the wild streets of Davis, CA. I recently heard an EmCee from Davis say that he was from the wrong side of the tracks. You would be hard-pressed to discern which side that was. Maybe it was the one with the McDonalds and the Liquor store on the same block. Lemme breakitdown: shit was rough.
  • Jonny_PaycheckJonny_Paycheck 17,825 Posts
    "I'm Peter Brown. I want to buy all of my old records. I lost them. How much is that? $150? I'll have to come back with some more money. Put that on hold for me. Peter Brown. Got it? Peter Brown."

  • SupergoodSupergood 1,213 Posts


    or




    ???

    SG


    "I'm Peter Brown. I want to buy all of my old records. I lost them. How much is that? $150? I'll have to come back with some more money. Put that on hold for me. Peter Brown. Got it? Peter Brown."


  • lotuslandlotusland 740 Posts
    choice a
  • d_wordd_word 666 Posts
    Last week:


    "ONLY A DOLLAR!"


    -says a sketched-out dood holding an open on of these:
  • karlophonekarlophone 1,697 Posts
    on the subway under manhattan somewhere:

    "whass th best nation in the world?" (holding change cup out)

    me: "...?"

    "DO-NATION!"
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