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Question...(seed related)

edpowersedpowers 4,437 Posts
edited July 2005 in Off Topic (NRR)
dudes..what if you had a lesbian friend who asked you to father her child?

would you do it?
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  Comments

  • SwayzeSwayze 14,705 Posts
    depends on how she was going to be impregnated...
  • edpowersedpowers 4,437 Posts
    and try not to think in terms of "i'd tap that ass in a minute"
  • edpowersedpowers 4,437 Posts
    depends on how she was going to be impregnated...




    traditionally
  • GuzzoGuzzo 8,611 Posts
    beware, I got a friend that did this under the agreement he would not be financially responsible for the kid. Dude ended up paying a whole lot...























    all this and he's gay
  • edpowersedpowers 4,437 Posts
    beware, I got a friend that did this under the agreement he would not be financially responsible for the kid. Dude ended up paying a whole lot...

    absolutely not an issue...lets just pretend the woman is worth 3x's the man she's asking...and would welcome a contractual agreement
  • funkyexamplefunkyexample 915 Posts
    beware, I got a friend that did this under the agreement he would not be financially responsible for the kid. Dude ended up paying a whole lot...



    all this and he's gay

    what are you saying guz, J is gay? you got some balls man. jk

    but J- I think this is a great thing but the cons outway the pros. it could turn out to be messy when you were just trying to be nice in the first place. if they are truly serious try and speak to a lawyer that has done things like this and get some iron clad contracts.
  • spaceghostspaceghost 605 Posts
    there would have to be a contract. the size of the contract depending on what state you live in and your relationship with your friend, and even then most courts have proven most of those contracts mean nothing.

    you could be best friends with her now, then you get into an arguement 5 years later, and all of a sudden she is asking for child support.

    if you decide to go through with it proceed with caution.
  • GuzzoGuzzo 8,611 Posts
    beware, I got a friend that did this under the agreement he would not be financially responsible for the kid. Dude ended up paying a whole lot...

    absolutely not an issue...lets just pretend the woman is worth 3x's the man she's asking...and would welcome a contractual agreement

    ok but thats just one aspect, another is the feeling of responsibiliity towards your seed, I mean are you going to see he/she growing up? do you want to?

    not to mention your wife may be kinda upset

  • GropeGrope 2,970 Posts
    You guys are crazy. I'd be mad if any of my friends would ask me to do such things.

    I don't believe that the contract would be legal. At least not in Germany or Europe. If it was in the US, it'd be straight stoopid! You can't agree not to be responisble for your child.

    I would never do it. NEVER EVER! Why SHOULD you do it? Out of a personal favor? For the money?
  • edpowersedpowers 4,437 Posts
    another is the feeling of responsibiliity towards your seed, I mean are you going to see he/she growing up? do you want to?

    thats really the major issue....without question the father would want to play a role in his childs development...but how much say will he really have after the child is here....its impossible to determine the flexiblility the mom will have after the child is here....i mean ..SHE IS A LESBIAN




    not to mention your wife may be kinda upset

    not an issue AT ALL




    AND WHO SAID IT WAS ME?
  • GuzzoGuzzo 8,611 Posts


    not to mention your wife may be kinda upset




    not an issue AT ALL









    AND WHO SAID IT WAS ME?



  • edpowersedpowers 4,437 Posts
    Why SHOULD you do it?

    friendship
  • edpowersedpowers 4,437 Posts





    not to mention your wife may be kinda upset

    not an issue AT ALL




    AND WHO SAID IT WAS ME?


    then again...........
  • GropeGrope 2,970 Posts
    Why SHOULD you do it?

    friendship

    nah, it wouldn't be friendship. It's the opposite of it. You'd threaten your friendship! It won't be cool. Not for you (your friend) and not for the child. The kid would find out one day and ask you why you did it and why you weren't there. I don't think that the lesbian couple would need you to help in the kids education. Just imagine seeing that kid. I'd be depressed.
  • edpowersedpowers 4,437 Posts
    Why SHOULD you do it?



    friendship



    You'd threaten your friendship! It won't be cool. Not for you (your friend) and not for the child. The kid would find out one day and ask you why you did it and why you weren't there. I don't think that the lesbian couple would need you to help in the kids education. Just imagine seeing that kid. I'd be depressed.



    good points...but like i said the only issue is basically.the mother can say "yeah you can do this and that ..blah...blah blah"..when she's pregnant but after the child is here she can easily flip the script and tell dad to get lost.....but women do that everyday in heterosexual relationships...so it's kinda taking the same chance......



    and for the record the woman is NOT involved in a relationship and hasn't been for a while...so another lady is not involved in this
  • hogginthefogghogginthefogg 6,098 Posts
    I don't know Ed. From what you've posted here, you appear to be a great father--one who loves his kids with all his heart. I just don't see you (or your friend) being able to father a child and then walk away from the situation. I think it'd keep you up at night (even with your socks on the headboard and a root beer in your belly).
  • edpowersedpowers 4,437 Posts
    so...if one of your wife's best friends for years (and a good friend of yours)who you already see ALL THE DAMN TIME asked you to do this ..you wouldn't?





    i mean it would be hard explaining this to the kids but i've been trying to teach my daughter how make bubbles with bubblegum for the past 2 months and THE SHIT IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!....NEVERMIND TEACHING HER HOW TO WHISTLE!!!!
  • bubor0ckbubor0ck 141 Posts
    i know i've seen it get some hate around here, but has anybody been watching Six Feet Under this season? they proposed an interesting/creepy idea that ended up falling through:

    2 gay guys trying to have a child with the help of a surrogate. Complications arise b/c they consider how one of them may develop a stronger relationship/connecting more, etc with the child than the other, being blood related. So one guy asks if the other dudes younger sister would donate eggs, so the babe would be a combination of both their genes. In this situation it would be one lesbian partner seeking the sperm of the partners male sibling. As they said in the show it would definitely make for some "awkward holiday dinners." That would be real weird for the sibling too but I'd think theyd be much more detached from the baby because they didn't actually conceive/carry/deliver. Anyways I thought that was interesting and this thread made me think of it.
  • drewnicedrewnice 5,465 Posts
    This sounds like a perfect scenerio for a dead-beat pops, but I think too many issues will get in the way. There's no way the relationship between the father, lesimom and kid can be strictly platonic.



    And how is this any different than just having a baby momma (outside of your own family) to deal with?



    Can I get a "SON, DON'T RISK IT?"
  • twoplytwoply Only Built 4 Manzanita Links 2,917 Posts
    J, are you purposely not accepting PMs?
  • edpowersedpowers 4,437 Posts
    J, are you purposely not accepting PMs?



    and my phone is not working for some reason
  • DubiousDubious 1,865 Posts
    why doesnt said lesbian just go to a sperm bank?

  • GuzzoGuzzo 8,611 Posts
    why doesnt said lesbian just go to a sperm bank?






    why take the gamble if you already know how to win
  • edpowersedpowers 4,437 Posts
    why doesnt said lesbian just go to a sperm bank?






    maybe the dude she wants has perfect sperm ..made of holy water,milked diamonds and the finest cognac
  • Birdman9Birdman9 5,417 Posts
    so...if one of your wife's best friends for years (and a good friend of yours)who you already see ALL THE DAMN TIME asked you to do this ..you wouldn't?


    i mean it would be hard explaining this to the kids but i've been trying to teach my daughter how make bubbles with bubblegum for the past 2 months and THE SHIT IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!....NEVERMIND TEACHING HER HOW TO WHISTLE!!!!

    Ed, I know things are probably stacked against a single lesbian in this arena, but has she looked into foster care/adoption? A LOT of kids out there in need(unfortunately, a lot of bigots looking to tell gays/lesbians that kids are better off in the system than with a gay foster/adoptive parent)and depending on the county she's in, she may be able to get into a foster parent training program quick regardless of her orientation.

    Or in vitro with a donor? I know this option ain't cheap, but it is the most straightforward way. Sperm donors thru a bank are not liable for child support, at least not so far as I know, and "Who's my daddy?" can be honestly answered "A donor...we don't know his name."

    This is a tricky issue. I respect anyone trying to get what they want, but we all ultimately have limited options in this life. She may wanna chill on the raising kids deal til she at least has a reliable,committed partner. I know it's none of my beeswax, but that seems to be the biggest puzzle piece missing here. That scenario goes a long way to making adoption easier too.

  • edpowersedpowers 4,437 Posts
    so...if one of your wife's best friends for years (and a good friend of yours)who you already see ALL THE DAMN TIME asked you to do this ..you wouldn't?


    i mean it would be hard explaining this to the kids but i've been trying to teach my daughter how make bubbles with bubblegum for the past 2 months and THE SHIT IS IMPOSSIBLE!!!!....NEVERMIND TEACHING HER HOW TO WHISTLE!!!!

    Ed, I know things are probably stacked against a single lesbian in this arena, but has she looked into foster care/adoption? A LOT of kids out there in need(unfortunately, a lot of bigots looking to tell gays/lesbians that kids are better off in the system than with a gay foster/adoptive parent)and depending on the county she's in, she may be able to get into a foster parent training program quick regardless of her orientation.

    Or in vitro with a donor? I know this option ain't cheap, but it is the most straightforward way. Sperm donors thru a bank are not liable for child support, at least not so far as I know, and "Who's my daddy?" can be honestly answered "A donor...we don't know his name."

    This is a tricky issue. I respect anyone trying to get what they want, but we all ultimately have limited options in this life. She may wanna chill on the raising kids deal til she at least has a reliable,committed partner. I know it's none of my beeswax, but that seems to be the biggest puzzle piece missing here. That scenario goes a long way to making adoption easier too.


    i dont know details of the adoption issue but it's seems to be more of an issue of "having your own"...........that's her personal preference....and i dont see much wrong with that....and i'm sure any woman would prefer to personally choose her mate rather than going to a sperm bank if she has the option.........and again i'm 99.9% sure the father will not be financialy obligated at all........out of personal commitment?... probably...but obligation ..no
  • hogginthefogghogginthefogg 6,098 Posts
    maybe the dude she wants has perfect sperm ..made of holy water,milked diamonds and the finest cognac




    THNAK YOU
  • Art_FormArt_Form 188 Posts
    and try not to think in terms of "i'd tap that ass in a minute"

    I'd tap that... oops! Damnit, I failed.
  • grandpa_shiggrandpa_shig 5,799 Posts
    hmmm. ok, i have a few questions.

    1. this lesbian friend, she's down for the "traditional" sex? i mean, it's kinda like saying, "im not gay but i'll suck your dick"
    2. is said lesbian attractive enough for you to get the edpowered?

    just wondering.
  • djsheepdjsheep 3,620 Posts
    don't
    risk
    it
    son
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