MOTHERFUCKEN SATURDAYS

2»

  Comments


  • nice. well here are some choice words from said white girl. i could prolly give you her zip code.

    just 10 minutes ago this other white bird comes in and she's hell of loud talking about "IS THIS BEVERLY HILLS?" and im like "no" and she was like "OH MY GOD I TOLD U WE ARENT IN BEVERLY HILLS LOOK AT ALL THOSE BLACK PEOPLE I MUST BE THE ONLY WHITE PERSON AROUND OH MY GOD IS THAT A GANG ARE THEY GANGMEMBERS AM I GONNA DIE?" and i was like "i hope so!" and she was like "OH MY GOD THATS HORRIBLE IM NEVER GONNA GET BACK TO MY CAR!

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    The Black Guy's Guide to Landing White Chicks -

    I know what you may be thinking already; yeah, I'm white. I'm a total honky. At a healthy mix of Italian and Croatian, I have no place giving advice for black guys. But, after consulting several black friends of mine and watching two whole seasons of Flavor of Love, I assure you that I speak from a position of authoritative knowledge. So, for all of my slightly darker colleagues who have ever dreamed of hooking up with a Caucasian female, I humbly offer you a few tips on how to seal the deal.

    Befriend a white guy
    It's been years since serious integration began in our society, yet unfortunately tangible results of our homogenization are still hard to come by. Looking around campus, you'll notice that white people still tend to hang out with other white people, and black people still tend to hang out with other black people. Whether this is a result of persistent racial tensions or university "diversity" programs that continue to draw divisive distinctions between minorities and the majority, it doesn't matter. All you need to know is that crossing those racial lines is paramount to your success. So find yourself a token white guy to hang out with, and show up to some of his preppy house parties. The girls there will start to wonder, "Whoa, who's the black guy?"

    Wear Ohio State gear wherever you go
    Let's face it, most white girls come from white backgrounds, and they don't really know much about your race. For that matter, she doesn't know much about you. Use this to your advantage. The brilliant duo of your skin tone and your Ohio State gear will leave her no other alternative than to assume that you must be an athlete. After all, everybody knows black people are better athletes than white people. Think about it. There are tons of black guys that play for the Buckeyes, and white girls don't know anything about most of them. Say you are a cornerback if you're a smaller guy or a linebacker if you're bigger. I shit you not - I once knew a girl who stumbled out of house party bedroom exclaiming, "I just swallowed National Championship cum!" Yes my friends, your little fib will act as the Gatorade that will quench the celebrity thirst of dumb white sluts all over campus.

    Join a white girl's study group
    But, maybe you're not looking for a slut - totally understandable. So, try this one out. It's a truly unfair stereotype that black people are inferior in academics to white people. While it is a totally false assumption, and most people do not attribute such academic values to race, there are a few uncultured vixens still at large. So join the study group of a white girl from class. Your interest in academics may surprise her and leave her thinking, "Wow, he's no dummy. Maybe he won't kill me." After studying, make your move. Not only will she do you, but she'll probably do your homework too.


    Join a traditionally white fraternity
    Every white frat seems to have one or two black guys floating around in the mix, but let's face it; they shed their street cred years ago. Having sold out to whitey, these guys traded in their gold chains for seashell necklaces, their Roca Wear for Abercrombie, and their 50 Cent CDs for Dave Matthews posters. But you should notice something else. These guys are landing sorority sweethearts. I'm sure some of you would never even think of doing something like this; it's almost as if you'd be betraying your roots. Whatever. Being a white black guy always produces results. With enough work, you could be a Presidential candidate. See: Barack Obama.

    Say you have a huge penis
    Not just 10 inches huge - I mean a foot and a half huge. The truth is, not many white girls have ever seen black dick before, but oh, have they heard all about them. This is one stereotype that you should be proud of. You will drive a girl absolutely wild at the thought of something so hugedickulous. Curiosity alone is enough to kill her cat.

    Just be a low-down dirty gangsta
    If you don't like any of the above suggestions, don't sweat it. Some girls just love taboo. Think about it. Daddy's precious little girl leaves the white suburbs to find the exact kind of guy daddy never wanted her to be with. Daddy spent years being overprotective and telling her "no" to all the naughty things she wanted to back in high school. What better revenge than for her to bring you and your hardcore persona back home for Thanksgiving dinner with the whole family? Fulfill every unfair, negative stereotype in the book. Rap to her. Swear at her. Degrade her. Steal from her. Each one will just make her want you more and more. Then cheat on her or knock her up. She'll Frickin' love that shit.

    What it all boils down to is a lack of proper integration. The current unfortunate racial climate means she still doesn't know much about you, so she'll rely on cheap stereotypes for which to base her judgments about you. The reality is really a sad one, but it's a sad one you can use to your advantage. And after all, who cares if something is wrong when it can help get you laid?



  • wow. capitulation is a mothereffer!

    hey, this is news for around here but another white girl just walked in. on a weekday!

    she wanted to know where the santa monica 12 blue bus stops. hahaha!

  • cpeetzcpeetz 2,112 Posts
    its about 2 blocks past where this one dude got shot and died last week.

    People get shot everywhere.
    Malls, classrooms, streets...

    yes, but white people actually go to the mall and the classroom.

    here's where i work. this is from an event we had that got broken up by the cops. why? no reason, just a bunch of baldheads and the cops got nervous. they taped off the whole block and broke out the riot gear. so, i guess its safe like that.


    Muggs vs. Sick Jacken Cook Out Sept1st @ 33Third

    Add to My Profile | More Videos


    does that answer your white boy questions?


    Oooooohhhhh so scary.

  • oh i didnt say it was scary. your mom and sister did.


  • cpeetzcpeetz 2,112 Posts
    oh i didnt say it was scary. your mom and sister did.


    My little sis is cool and my mom used to teach these guys in kindergarten so
    she'd be OK with a mid-city fiesta.



  • whoa really! she taught KINDERGARTEN!?! cuz i hear thats some real world shit right there.

    anyways, tell your mom where beverly hills is already.

  • Mike_BellMike_Bell 5,736 Posts
    Logging on to say to Shig.

    You're killing it in this thread.

  • cpeetzcpeetz 2,112 Posts
    whoa really! she taught KINDERGARTEN!?! cuz i hear thats some real world shit right there.

    anyways, tell your mom where beverly hills is already.

    You are officially an idiot.

  • whoa really! she taught KINDERGARTEN!?! cuz i hear thats some real world shit right there.

    anyways, tell your mom where beverly hills is already.

    You are officially an idiot.

    i take it after careful deliberation, you and your "cool sis" vote on and sign the certificates?

  • Logging on to say to Shig.

    You're killing it in this thread.

    hi mike! how's it going? havent seen you much around here. and you changed your name. that has pretty much led to complete confusion as to who is who anymore. is cpeetz really pap?


  • Mike_BellMike_Bell 5,736 Posts
    Logging on to say to Shig.

    You're killing it in this thread.

    hi mike! how's it going? havent seen you much around here. and you changed your name. that has pretty much led to complete confusion as to who is who anymore. is cpeetz really pap?

    I'm good Grand Master Shig. New job keeps me away from the Internets. bellcity1 is over.

    No more ass in my avatars.

  • cpeetzcpeetz 2,112 Posts
    Logging on to say to Shig.

    You're killing it in this thread.

    hi mike! how's it going? havent seen you much around here. and you changed your name. that has pretty much led to complete confusion as to who is who anymore. is cpeetz really pap?


    That's Pap Schmear, Mr. Pap to you.


  • No more ass in my avatars.

    what type of job wont let you put pictures of ass in your avatar?!? isnt that one of the 2nd amendment rights n shit? the right to bare ass?

  • ok, time to leave work. pray that i make it to my car!!!
Sign In or Register to comment.