HOW WOULD YOU DRESS IT UP?

Bambouche

One of the first websites I remember visiting when the Internet was still new to me was, http://www.missilebases.com/ -- where you can buy abandonned missile bases across the states.This fascinates me to no end. Back in the '90s me and all my friends pooled our money so we could buy one and convert it into an underground recording studio... we were only like 1 million short.Everyone always goes apeshit for Titan 1A, but me, I'm a fan of Atlas-F, that's my shit right there. I mean, it needs some work (a real "fixer upper" as they say), but I can totally see the potential.So the question is: What would you do with an abandonned missile base?

• SPECS[/b]
• Middle of Frickin' nowhere
• Most of the property is buried, underground
• Private airstrip optional
• Location leaves little to be desired (my apologies to the good people of Hamlet, Arkansas)
• You might die from exposure to chemicals once stored there?

Me?I'd rock this set-up:I'd have to build a "normal" house in the above-ground portion of the estate, cause my wife ain't having no subterranean existence. She's more a fun-in-the-sun type. So, lots of big picture windows and skylights for her...The two subterranean floors directly under the house would be "Guest Quarters." I'd invite missbassie and her dude over. Fuck, I'd build a skateramp in the lower of the two floors. Complete with DJ Booth and jeans rack.The other 9 subterranean floors would be "Bam's Playhouse." Recording studio, echo chamber, climate controlled record storage, art gallery, dark room... +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++bassie: [checking CNN.com while visiting] "Holy shit! Canada just nuked the U.S. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO!? Ahhhhhhhh!"me: Relax, dude. This is a nuclear-resistant record room. Turn that shit up!This would be great for you shut-in types. Or those of you who have clandestine second life type habits. Perhaps you're thinking of starting your own church? The hydroponic community could thrive in this enviornment as well. Whatever it is, you can bet the abandonned missile base brings only the shadiest clientele.

Egbert_Souse

5 stars.

nzshadow

Thank you.

Bambouche

You guys aren't playing right. You need to tell me how you'd dress it up:

Dizzy: A whole floor dedicated to 'everyday is halloween'
nzshadow: jizzmop museum
reynaldo: endless wine cellar


me: i'd have robotic spy dragonflys buzzing round "up top" keeping an eye on the land

pointman

We got a winner here.

CousinLarry

Make sure you leave a nice sized lab for the Doctor.

edith head

Me?

I'd rock this set-up:

i like this one too. i don't know how i'd dress it up, but i would pass on the expensive alarm system and look into getting a large trapdoor spider to guard the first level.

Egbert_Souse

You guys aren't playing right.

Well pardon us for being shy but your posts are kinda hard to top, you know?

But I would build a ninja warrior course in mine, for sure.

Bambouche

You guys aren't playing right.

But I would build a ninja warrior course in mine, for sure.

No dude, you'd get weird with yours. Like Silence of the Lambs weird. You seamen are like that!

The_Hook_Up

I would definitely have a massive hydroponic set up...mainly for basil(I love fresh basil)and those tasty orange bell peppers that for some reason cost 7 times as much as a regular green bell pepper(never understood that).





and oh yeah, weed.

residentgiant

YES. I've known about this site for a few years now and my friends and I still bring it up..

Recording studio is a must.

Some sort of crazy ass club / music venue that would take up a few floors as well. The fact that it's in the middle of nowhere is negated by the airstrip. The clientele would obviously be a mix of super-exclusive private-jet owners and local hillbillies.

I'm pretty sure there'd have to be a pool on the bottom floor, with a spiraling water slide that you could enter from the ground level. Possibly a fire-house pole that dumps into it, too.

A floor for an arcade, and cosign on Dizzy's ninja warrior course. Some sort of american gladiator obstacle course/maze for playing lazer tag & paintball.

Snagglepus

a large trapdoor spider to guard the first level.

In all cases, however, the doors are equipped with silk hinges for easy opening and closing.

Egbert_Souse

You guys aren't playing right.

But I would build a ninja warrior course in mine, for sure.

No dude, you'd get weird with yours. Like Silence of the Lambs weird. You seamen are like that!

OK, Number 1, I was a soldier, not a seaman, I just work for the seamen now. And I won't even dignify that with a PASUE.

Number 2, building a ninja warrior course in your underground bunker is ALREADY weird, so touche.


I don't know about the zoning laws out there, but I would probably be allowed to have my own pet gorilla, so thats basically a must. and a sweet video surveillance system. and a safe room, which by the way, they are supposedly building a safe room in the next building over for the commander, which is totally sweet so I hope I can check it out.


I would have a chef that knows Karate and who is also my personal bodyguard (not that I need one, of course).


also, secret passageways are a must, as well as the bookcase that spins around to reveal some sort of control panel. and trap doors. because I have cats, and there probably isn't to much out there as funny as suprising a cat with a trap door.


and I would have my own haunted mansion type ride, like the old thrill rides at amusement parks, tunnel of love type shit, and no you can't go on it because its mine.

Bambouche

Some sort of crazy ass club / music venue that would take up a few floors as well. The fact that it's in the middle of nowhere is negated by the airstrip. The clientele would obviously be a mix of super-exclusive private-jet owners and local hillbillies.

Welcome to SUB FLOOR 54[/b]!




"We just flew in from New York!"




"Hey Daryl, look what I found downstairs!"

pointman

Mine would be based around this setup.

Assuming the Silo is five levels.
Silo level 5: Hanger for my Harriet Jump Jet aptly titled Vinyl Force 1. Fuck a car.
Silo level 4: Monkey knife fight arena
Silo level 3: 45 storage
Silo level 2: Pool
Silo ground level: James Brown shrine/ Weird voodoo-like quasi Temple of Doom where I try to resurrect the Godfather.

PATX

I'd have a bat cave. No BATMON.

Egbert_Souse

Mine would be based around this setup.


Silo level 4: Monkey knife fight arena

Can I come over?

pointman

Mine would be based around this setup.


Silo level 4: Monkey knife fight arena

Can I come over?

If I can come over and laugh at people falling into the dirty water of your ninja warrior course, then yes.


Also, if we both have silos, we should play the occasional game of chess a la War Games with Mathew Broderick.

djkingotto

i'd have a giant room filled plastic balls that i could jump in.

pacman

I am nowhere near as creative as this. I need to step my missile silo game up.

bassie

A pool, waterfall, movie theatre and animal sanctuary. There would have to be a separate wing for the cats, of course.

Things are going to keep coming to me...I forgot a garden and a waterslide that runs the whole height of the house.

Unknown

I remember when that exact setup was auctioned off on ebay a few years ago, it was upstate NY and came with the plane and a shitload of acreage if I recall.

They said one of the drawbacks was the years and years worth of rainwater that had collected in the silo, it was something like over half of the depth of the silo was full of nasty water.

Bambouche

I remember when that exact setup was auctioned off on ebay a few years ago, it was upstate NY and came with the plane and a shitload of acreage if I recall.

They said one of the drawbacks was the years and years worth of rainwater that had collected in the silo, it was something like over half of the depth of the silo was full of nasty water.

GREAT FOR FISH ENTHUSIASTS![/b]

Reynaldo

I've always wanted an underground set up like that. As a child I enjoyed digging and constructing bunkers for use in the dirt clod wars I'd have against friends. I would dig a hole about five feet deep (to the hardpan), four feet wide, and six feet long, slap some metal supports and tin taken from my dad???s scrap heap on top, and cover that with earth and grass. It was no small task. When it rained heavily they???d fill with water and be less usable.

In my subterranean shelter I???d have a library, theater, maid???s/cook???s quarters, munitions room, sensory deprivation chamber, and simulated rain forest, amongst other things.

Young_Phonics

Definetly a Private Mind Garden.

Okem

Just live in a normal house on the top, but have a..










trap door - water slide, like the one from the movie the Goonies, that takes you to the basement.
Then the rest of the place is across between Donkey Kong, Takeshi's castle, and the scene from James Bond movie Goldfinger, where James battles Oddjob. And they have to battle their way out, to freedom.

DJ_Enki

I would definitely build a ridiculously dope planetarium. One of those super cool joints where they show you the constellations and connect all the dots to draw the picture so you can say, "Hey, I guess that cluster of stars does look like an intricately-detailed hunter." Also, it would feature the world's first Random Rap Laser Light show ("Duuuude, you haven't really tripped until you've dropped and then watched lasers dance about to the sounds of Makeba & Scratch!").

Bambouche

Definetly a Private Mine Garden.

Egbert_Souse

I've always wanted an underground set up like that. As a child I enjoyed digging and constructing bunkers for use in the dirt clod wars I'd have against friends. I would dig a hole about five feet deep (to the hardpan), four feet wide, and six feet long, slap some metal supports and tin taken from my dad???s scrap heap on top, and cover that with earth and grass. It was no small task. When it rained heavily they???d fill with water and be less usable.

In my subterranean shelter I???d have a library, theater, maid???s/cook???s quarters, munitions room, sensory deprivation chamber, and simulated rain forest, amongst other things.

Thats a hell of a foxhole.

DJFerrari

Wow... I am definitely going to spend the rest of the day dreaming up what I would do. First thing that comes to mind is an ill skate park.

So anyone ever accidentally turn on the movie Blast From the Past with Brendan Fraser only to get totally hooked by its surprising awesomeness?

Unknown

I'd make the world's first actual-sized missile silo Jello mold.