That whole, "maybe I was being selfish" part was bizarre dude unless you knew this was an issue the whole time through (in which case, you neglected to leave that part in the original query and that would have changed, I think, people's perspective on things).
of course i knew it was an issue the whole time. if you are in a relationship, weekend nights are obviously an important time, unless both people are forced to work due to financial reasons.
the difference is that when i was not engaged, i could always say, this is an opportunity to make money doing something i like, 'nuff said. she couldn't argue with that. now that my money is her money and vica versa, she should be able to say, its not about the money. i'm cool without it. then it just becomes an issue of - do i wanna be an assh*le and a pig and insist on, not only djing, but taking up BOTH of her "free nights".
i think iron monkey might be the only person getting it right now.
Funny, after eight years I thought Man and I were getting it right, too and we have yet to complain about all the time the other spends DJing and skateboarding.
Iron Monkey is the only person who comes closest to your idea of what a relationship should be like is a more accurate way to put it imo.
If you're married your priorities have got to change, but not to the point where you're compromising yourself and giving up stuff that makes you YOU. This is especially important if your wife/partner expects you to do so or makes ultimatums.
Giving up every other Saturday to spend time with your wife doesn't sound like such a bad idea -- you could spend the time looking for records together.
That whole, "maybe I was being selfish" part was bizarre dude unless you knew this was an issue the whole time through (in which case, you neglected to leave that part in the original query and that would have changed, I think, people's perspective on things).
of course i knew it was an issue the whole time. if you are in a relationship, weekend nights are obviously an important time, unless both people are forced to work due to financial reasons.
the difference is that when i was not engaged, i could always say, this is an opportunity to make money doing something i like, 'nuff said. she couldn't argue with that. now that my money is her money and vica versa, she should be able to say, its not about the money. i'm cool without it. then it just becomes an issue of - do i wanna be an assh*le and a pig and insist on, not only djing, but taking up BOTH of her "free nights".
i think iron monkey might be the only person getting it right now.
Funny, after eight years I thought Man and I were getting it right, too and we have yet to complain about all the time the other spends DJing and skateboarding.
Iron Monkey is the only person who comes closest to your idea of what a relationship should be like is a more accurate way to put it imo.
Relationships are complex and each one is unique. There's no correct answer to this situation. I put in my two cents based on how homie laid down the scenario. Whatever works for both of you and makes both of you happy is the right thing to do. Compromise and communication are the key elements.
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Funny, after eight years I thought Man and I were getting it right, too and we have yet to complain about all the time the other spends DJing and skateboarding.
Iron Monkey is the only person who comes closest to your idea of what a relationship should be like is a more accurate way to put it imo.
Giving up every other Saturday to spend time with your wife doesn't sound like such a bad idea -- you could spend the time looking for records together.
Relationships are complex and each one is unique. There's no correct answer to this situation. I put in my two cents based on how homie laid down the scenario. Whatever works for both of you and makes both of you happy is the right thing to do. Compromise and communication are the key elements.
lol....great point!!