THE PARENTING APPRECIATION THREAD
Phill_Most
4,594 Posts
The "beatdown" thread got me to thinking about a lot of different aspects of parenting... since I knew we have a lot of dads (any moms?) on Soulstrut, I figured it might be a good look to start a thread on whatever other parenting situations that might be on folls minds. A good support group might just keep some of us from breaking a leg off in our kids' asses! 
Anyway, beatdowns really ain't much of an issue for me. My kids are very, very well behaved (fear of that asswhup in a can will do that to a child) and all I really have to do is put some quad bass in my voice or give them THE LOOK and they burst into tears pretty easily. No, I'm more concerned with SPOILING my kids than I am about the Department of Human Services coming to get me. My kids have sooooo much more than I ever could've dreamed of having as child, and I love to buy them everything I see. Ralph Lauren Polo shirts for the boy? He's got a bunch of 'em. Fresh new S Dots for the girl? Got to do it. And don't let me go into a toy store... I'm trying to fill the shopping cart UP. DVDs, books, gadgets- they have it all. Am I really just reliving my own impoverished childhood through them? I dunno, mane... all I know is that I LOVE MY KIDS! 
Khalil a.k.a. Khalil Chill, and Akilah a.k.a Akilah S. (she tells me she's a singer AND a rapper and wants me to put her on the radio!)Parents, stand up and speak about your experiences raising your chillrun. One thing I can tell y'all fo'sho... before I had kids I thought I had all the answers as far as how kids should be brought up. Now that I'm actually living it, I can say without hesitation that I had no idea what I was talking about. You can't really know until you go through. Here's to all the babymamas, mothers, daddies, fathers, heads of household, etc... y'all are appreciated.
Anyway, beatdowns really ain't much of an issue for me. My kids are very, very well behaved (fear of that asswhup in a can will do that to a child) and all I really have to do is put some quad bass in my voice or give them THE LOOK and they burst into tears pretty easily. No, I'm more concerned with SPOILING my kids than I am about the Department of Human Services coming to get me. My kids have sooooo much more than I ever could've dreamed of having as child, and I love to buy them everything I see. Ralph Lauren Polo shirts for the boy? He's got a bunch of 'em. Fresh new S Dots for the girl? Got to do it. And don't let me go into a toy store... I'm trying to fill the shopping cart UP. DVDs, books, gadgets- they have it all. Am I really just reliving my own impoverished childhood through them? I dunno, mane... all I know is that I LOVE MY KIDS! Khalil a.k.a. Khalil Chill, and Akilah a.k.a Akilah S. (she tells me she's a singer AND a rapper and wants me to put her on the radio!)Parents, stand up and speak about your experiences raising your chillrun. One thing I can tell y'all fo'sho... before I had kids I thought I had all the answers as far as how kids should be brought up. Now that I'm actually living it, I can say without hesitation that I had no idea what I was talking about. You can't really know until you go through. Here's to all the babymamas, mothers, daddies, fathers, heads of household, etc... y'all are appreciated.
Comments
You are 100% right about that... I don't mean to make it sound like I put a whole helluva lot of importance on those name brands. My kids love to get new clothes, but it could be some cheap stuff or the most expensive designer stuff, they don't care (or know the difference- they will, though). They're just happy that Daddy bought them something. I just gotta make sure they don't take stuff for granted and learn to appreciate what they have. Teaching kids those important life lessons and instilling the right values EARLY, that's what's up.
A-ight, I'll check back on this thread later tonight, after I spend the next few hours over at asslikewhoa.com.
and word, respect to all parents out there raising their kids with care.
WORD! Same with me I am now trying to get my fliks on-line so I can post them up. I have some nice flicks I would like to share! BIG UP SOULMAN! (Fading Echo.....)
" This is where daddy keeps the sealed 'Mulato of Ethiopia' LP's[/b]
My son Dorian is about 2 1/2 now. He's starting to talk back and give us attitude whn we try and discipline him. We have a "no physical discipline" policy and it's working pretty well. The hardest thing is to be consistent, even when you've worked 14 hours and are dead tired. It's easy to be lax when you're tired. It comes down to making it clear in his head that there are consequences for when he acts up (time out, quad-bass in the voice, loss of toys, etc.) and making a big deal about when he acts positively or respectfully (saying please and thank you, doing what he's told).
We just moved down to San Diego and are realizing what an absurd amount of toys he has. We keep finding unopened boxes filled with giant stuffed animals and hundreds of blocks and puzzle pieces. I think we are gonna drive down to Mexico at some point and donate a bunch of stuff to a school or daycare.
And Phil, you have a gift for the outfits. 9 out of 10 times I pick out something for my son to wear, I get laughed at by my wife.
Mike
Respect to all the parents out there.
I know it drives me nuts how much STUFF all my friends kids have these days.
I know they all said they would never give their kids all that junk, but then...
One friend told me, when she was pregnant, that whenever her child got a new toy he would have to give away an old toy. 2 years later I mentioned that, she had no memory of saying it, but said it was good idea that would never happen. Myself, growing up affluent in the suburbs I did not have much stuff and being the youngest it was mostly all handme downs.
I think sparing the rod and spoiling the child is a good thing.
I don't have kids but I was raised by Bill Cosby; "We had never seen THE BELT, but we had heard about it. It was 6 feet long, and 8 feet wide, and had hooks on it that would tear the meat off your body."
Dan
Currently he is in community college in Los Angeles with a high GPA and plans to transfer to a 4-year university in the winter with plans of becoming a teacher and giving back to children. We went through some tough trials and tribulations but in the end I am glad he grew up to be someone with hope for himself and hope for what he can do for the world.
For all you other people out there who took the responsibilty to raise a child I salute you and give you my utmost respect. You are truly the heroes of the world and never think otherwise.
Mike, you sound like an excellent parent, hommie. I think what you said about making a big deal when they do something positive is actually a far better way of getting good behavior out of kids than spanking them when they do something wrong. Giving them a hug and telling them that you're proud of them goes a lot farther than anything else, fo' real.
Your li'l dude looks mad cool though! 2 1/2... yeah, the "terrible 3's" has already begun. Your true test is now beginning, my man!
As for the outfits, I basically just hook up my son and let my wife handle the girly stuff for my daughter. But I still can't resist hitting the kid's section when I'm up in Macy's or someplace and spazzin' out on fly gear for both of them! Just gotta try to keep that under control.
Yo, where are the soulstrut parents at??? We get like 4 pages fussin' about beatdowns and not much concern about the good side of parenting? Come on, I know some o' y'all got crumbsnatchers. If you're just too busy taking care of the kids I understand- otherwise, LET YOUR VOICES BE HEARD! This is your appreciation, dammit!
everything i do is for my kids. parenting is very hard, especially working full time and trying to run a side (hoping to be full time soon...with a storefront) biz...Asprin can tell you he hears kids running around while we try to talk biznizz. many times i am trying to update the site, i have my baby girl on my lap....trying to stop her from banging on the keyboard. Parenting is very rewarding as well....my children are definitely the best thing to happen to me. always take time out to spend time with them...because u never know what day will be your last...or their last, as i lost a son who was 13 months old (my oldest was a twin).
My little dude is only 18 months old, so discipline isn't really an issue yet (aside from letting him know it's not cool to play in the fireplace, drag the cat around by it's tail or pull out all the DVDs...). I know when the time comes hitting really isn't going to be an issue, because I can't imagine laying my hands on him (let alone a belt etc.) at all. I'm sure his hand might get smacked a few times (and his little bottom) but I can't imagine anything more serious than that (ever).
Just want to add my .02 even though I have no kids, so take it for what you will. I disagreed with the way that I was raised and have dedicated much thought to the parenting proccess throughout my life. My mind was really blown when I took a class on parenting in college and discovered all of the incredible research that has been done in the field of parenting psychology. Man, if my parents had just read a couple of these books before having kids, my life would be completely different. Lots of parents think, "Don't tell ME how to raise MY kids!", and it is your right to raise your children however you want, but to ignore all of the valuable research that has been done is foolish. If you have a question about how to handle a certain situation, so do lots of other parents, and most likely there have been dozens of studies, books, websites, etc... that can give you an answer.
Don't just raise a kitten to a cat and then figure you're ready to be a parent, like mine did.
I feel you on that, Otis_Funkmeyer. Now, I don't know your personal situation with your parents, but for me, as I became a parent myself, I learned to forgive my mother (and even my absentee father to some degree) for her mistakes because yo- there really is no manual to tell you how to raise your kid. My wife and I bought tons of books on the subject and they were helpful in many instances, no doubt. But there are gonna come times when you have to say f--- those books and just use your own judgement. You might be wrong sometimes, but as long as you sincerely tried to do what you thought was the right thing, that's really all you can do.
I can't tell you how many times we went to the books, websites, professional people etc. to find out how to deal with my daughter, who had some unique situations that we had to address when she was a little younger. None of that was helpful, so we just handled things as best we could. And at the end of the day, that's what I think it comes down to. As you said, parents definetly should read up on techniques they can use to do a better job of raising their children. But you still have to use that info, along with your own common sense, and come up with your own way of putting it into action. 'Cuz believe me, some of that stuff I've read in books has had me scratching my head like "WTF?? Aw, HELLS naw I ain't raisin' my kids like that!!!" To each his own, though- just try to do your best and everything should (hopefully) come out all right in the end.
She just turned one this past saturday.
Phil, I'm glad to see your kids are wearing the appropriate protective headgear for those deep digging excavations you take them on
Of course don't take any book as word-for-word truth, I just want people to know that there is more info out there than they may think.
Sounds like you're doing a great job Phill - keep it up!
Peace to Phil for posting this.
Peace to the Fathers out there.
I been meaning to get at this thread for a minute.
Being a father is the best feeling in the world. Right now my son adores me.That wont last long though, eventually he will think im corny, and not want to be around me. Oh well.
When my wife said "Yo, im pregnant" I was scared shitless. But once that little dude came out, my life changed for the better. I see the world in a whole new light. When I see dudes getting heated over records, or hiding records, or discussing record ethics, I just laugh now. Shit is more important and real compared to that. This little dud has made me love and respect my parents even more than before. This little dude makes me see the good in humans rather than the bad, like i used to. I have never been happier, I would go to any lengths and do anything for this guy.
And it helps that he is muthafuckin cute!
My boy on a rocking horse (requires quicktime)
Best of luck with that. My little guy had some problems early on and has come through with flying colors. I hope your son's OK.
word, I hope, and I am sure everything will work out. Take care of him.
Nice.
All you parents are great.
i think ONLY fathers will understand this but..everything i do ..i do for my kids...it may sound a little extreme and it has caused a few problems for me and their mom at times.. but at this point in my life...i'm set...i'm good..i really don't need anything else to complete me (except for Lialeh ..on the cheap)..so whatever moves/decisions i make it ultimately ends with.. how will it ffect my kids?....i've made alot of choices that would have been quite beneficial for ME had i decided to go in the opposite direction but i feel like i'm obligated to make their lives almost perfect..now and when i'm gone...and i have no regrets
my balls itch