Holy. Motherf*cking. Sh*t.
Hotsauce84
8,450 Posts
I absolutely positively HAVE to share this story with you guys.So I have this smart phone, right? T-Mobile Dash, equipped with calendar, video games, internet access, camera, video camera and media player[/b].Well, I???m at work and it happens to be an unusually quiet Friday. I???m sitting at my desk and hear these faint voices, all static-y and shit. It???s driving me crazy. I check my work phone to see if the speakerphone is on, check my little am/fm radio to see if somebody turned it on, call other people over to see if they can hear it (which, of course, they can???t). The sounds are sporadic. I???ll hear something, call someone over and then???no sound. Finally, I check my cell phone. The weirdest thing is going on. My phone is LOCKED, there are NO active phone calls, yet there are some spooky noises coming out of the speaker phone. I press the phone to my ear and I hear these creepy, unintelligible whispers and grunts. HoLmes, it scared the shit out of me. It sounded like I was picking up some AM frequency, but it for sure wasn???t a radio broadcast. I seriously thought it was a voice from beyond. I said ???Hello? Who???s there???? No response. Then a couple seconds later I???d hear the voice again. It freaked me out even more ???cause this morning I woke up at 6am ??? waaaaay earlier then my usual time ??? and I seriously thought I was dead. It turns out I was sick, but the symptoms included my body getting freezing cold and then burning hot, and my head was pounding with a migraine. I would toss and turn but it felt like I couldn???t move my body. Strange, I know. Couple this with the supposed ???call from beyond??? and I was TRIPPING. I kept thinking it was a deceased family member welcoming me to the afterlife. I listened intently hoping to recognize the voice.After a couple minutes, a co-worker noticed the freaked-out look on my face and my strange obsession with my phone. ???Dude, are you okay?!??? he asked. I had him come over and listen ???cause I wanted to make sure I wasn???t the only one to hear it. It freaked him out. Soon enough I had 3, 4, 5 people come over to my desk to see what the commotion was about. They each pressed the phone to their ear. They all had the same look on their face. Nobody could make out a word or a phrase.One by one they all walked away, shaking their head and most definitely spooked.I listened again. This time, I distinctly heard a female voice. The male voice and the female voice began conversing. The conversation became clearer, as did the voices. Certain words were unmistakable. Naughty words.HoLmeses, the voice was MINE. The female voice was a ladyfriend who is far from camera shy and quite adept at kickin' verbalistics, if you what I mean. For some reason or another, my media player played the clip while the phone was locked, so the audio was running, but the video was hidden.DEATH'S INVITATION WAS ACTUALLY BLESSED GRATIFICATION.And my co-workers heard it all.Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Comments
I might just have to read it again!
this reminds me of when The Ring came out and i would drunk dial friends using the caller id block code and growl "seven days" and hang up.
hahah come on. just the gist of it. this is like the ring and the seinfeld episode where elaine gets a hold of jerry's tape recorder and says some dirty ish
I'll be in your area next week. If you REALLY wanna hear it, I can play the AUDIO ONLY for you.
But still...you are creepy for wanting to hear it! Ha ha!
Regardless, I'm hoping to have a 'Strut filled Bay Area vacation so I hope to meet you in person! (No Wheeler.)
i realize you really don't know who i am after all these years and it hurts
Ummm...ladies, you DO realize what the audio is, right?
THE SOUNDS OF MY OWN PERSONAL GRATIFICATION!
Freaks! ha ha!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Yeah, but did your co-workers realize or did you have to tell them??
you said personal gratification? I thought you said there was a lady there??
I dont think we are getting the full story here.
j/k
umm, no, actually I didn't really understand what the heck you were talking about....
Ummm...she was rockin' the mic.
The "sounds of horror" were in actuality my sounds of pleasure.
Moans, groans, grunts. Oohs, ahhs, ohhs.
I unknowingly played the audio portion of my videotaped freaky escapade to my co-workers.
ok maybe i didn't see the big crystal clear picture. damn you! can't you water it down in pro tools for me
Ha ha! That was me-related too! Sorry Drew!
ever since that steam explosion, i've been considering that i might possibly be dead, herm. dogs are barking at me, and i feel cold breezes on my neck.
Let's be dead together. Haunt these motherfucking motherfuckers, motherfucker.
I texted a lady last night:
Where you at? Why aren't you at the club?
She responded:
I>I got a little boy to look after. And if I die then my child will be a bastard.[/i]
!!!!
I swear to God I almost asked her to marry me.
Sorry.
The payoff for me was explosive!
hahahaha. holy morbid-strut. what you doing filming your interwork relations, herm? you a fool!!!
NO, foolio! It wasn't a co-worker who blessed me!
Damn, I must really suck at storytelling. In my head it made perfect sense!
B/W
LOOK AT ME SOULSTRUT, I HAVE SEX
^^^^^
SAD
see you next week
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