Missed Connections.

Hotsauce84

I'm a fucking fool.I just hit up the local (white-owned) Mexican grocery store to pick up some ant killer and bleach. Hit the register to pay and stood right behind this BANGIN' ass Chicana. A little taller than me, casual yet freshly dressed with a ponytail and a cute little face highlighted with some rectangle frame glasses. She looked about my age (rather refreshing, considering how few sexy ass 30 year old women there are these days). She was buying a 4 pack of wine coolers and some gum.I was praying for her to turn around just a bit so I could get my eye contact on. I NEED that eye contact, at least a LITTLE something, to pursue it. This damn girl was OBLIVIOUS though! In her own little world and shit. Old ass cashier didn't hesitate to flirt, but man, how was I suppose to just jump in with them? Once they gave her her change I was like, "alright, let me just pay for this shit and try to get some eye contact outside."Goddamn cockblocking ass cashier. That fool fucked up my 2 item purchase. Holmes did that shit on purpose, I KNOW IT. By the time I got outside, girl was driving away all by her lonesome. She's probably sippin' on that Bartles & Jaymes and riding The Rabbit?? to a lonely nights' sleep. And I'm here telling you foolios about it.I kick myself for this type of shit way too often.Philahobo, Stacks, JLR, King Moist...SOMEBODY please console me here.Herm

troubleman

why didn't you say something?


By the way, the missed connection section of the LA weekly or craigslist is one of my favorite things to read in the world.

Hotsauce84

That's what I'm saying! I feel like I didn't have an opportunity to say something! Since we didn't have any eye contact, she might've not even noticed me there. I thought about clearing my throat or something like that but figured it might be too corny.

Anyways, I just checked the local Craigslist to see if she decided to post something before she turned on the rabbit....no luck. I did, however, see this:

Looking for a man named Solo? - w4m - 29
Reply to: ***
Date: 2007-05-18, 12:08AM MST


I was out one night a couple of weeks ago, when I got harassed by a bunch of gang bangers, one pushed me, and this white man in all black came and kicked the crap out of them. He looked like he knew Karate. He said his name was Solo, he was about 5' 2 or so, kind of short, buff, had medium length black curly hair, and wore glasses. he wore some necklace and ring with Celtic writing and said he was a personal trainer. He saved my life I just wanted to say thanks the right way.

troubleman

That's what I'm saying! I feel like I didn't have an opportunity to say something! Since we didn't have any eye contact, she might've not even noticed me there. I thought about clearing my throat or something like that but figured it might be too corny.

Anyways, I just checked the local Craigslist to see if she decided to post something before she turned on the rabbit....no luck. I did, however, see this:

Looking for a man named Solo? - w4m - 29
Reply to: ***
Date: 2007-05-18, 12:08AM MST


I was out one night a couple of weeks ago, when I got harassed by a bunch of gang bangers, one pushed me, and this white man in all black came and kicked the crap out of them. He looked like he knew Karate. He said his name was Solo, he was about 5' 2 or so, kind of short, buff, had medium length black curly hair, and wore glasses. he wore some necklace and ring with Celtic writing and said he was a personal trainer. He saved my life I just wanted to say thanks the right way.

Thats a perfect reason why i love those things. So damn funny. Who cares if it's fake.

What you should have done in your situation is commented on something she was buying. Could have been anything. Just shot something out there to see if she was interested in conversation. Then took it to the parking lot.

crazypoprock

i had a missed connection about me once...i had dj'd with my partner the night before, and at the time i had a long time girlfriend and my dj partner was single. the ad said...you were djing at (the spot i dj'd) last night, you had glasses, really cute, let's get together or something. it was flattering but crazy becuase i never read missed connections but apparently my friends do so they found it and started forwarding it to me and my girlfriend found out and wasn't too happy and my dj partner was bummed because he was single and wanted it to be about him!

now i'm single...maybe it's time to check the craigslist archives.

DrJoel

The projection to include the Rabbit has made this thread hi-larious.

Missed Connections...ok

I Love You / I Hate you... get on my level:

http://www.citypaper.net/lovehate/

CousinLarry

http://www.citypaper.net/lovehate/#74952

Big_Stacks

I'm a fucking fool.

I just hit up the local (white-owned) Mexican grocery store to pick up some ant killer and bleach. Hit the register to pay and stood right behind this BANGIN' ass Chicana. A little taller than me, casual yet freshly dressed with a ponytail and a cute little face highlighted with some rectangle frame glasses. She looked about my age (rather refreshing, considering how few sexy ass 30 year old women there are these days). She was buying a 4 pack of wine coolers and some gum.

I was praying for her to turn around just a bit so I could get my eye contact on. I NEED that eye contact, at least a LITTLE something, to pursue it. This damn girl was OBLIVIOUS though! In her own little world and shit. Old ass cashier didn't hesitate to flirt, but man, how was I suppose to just jump in with them? Once they gave her her change I was like, "alright, let me just pay for this shit and try to get some eye contact outside."

Goddamn cockblocking ass cashier. That fool fucked up my 2 item purchase. Holmes did that shit on purpose, I KNOW IT. By the time I got outside, girl was driving away all by her lonesome. She's probably sippin' on that Bartles & Jaymes and riding The Rabbit?? to a lonely nights' sleep. And I'm here telling you foolios about it.

I kick myself for this type of shit way too often.

Philahobo, Stacks, JLR, King Moist...SOMEBODY please console me here.

Herm

Hey Herm,

You just characterized my life as a shy teenager. Standing in the corner at the basement dances didn't yield any dances (or dates), but instead, I remained alone. As a result, I learned that you have to speak up for what you want. In your case, you could have simply tapped ole' girl on the shoulder and spoke your piece. Or, you could've asked her to wait a minute so you could talk to her after your transaction. Now, you may never see her again. This is exactly how I approached T**i as she walked from Spicer Hall on the University of Akron's campus. I just stepped up, but who could've known I had met my future wife. The lesson here is to ALWAYS seize the initiative, for you can never know what you've missed. You'll never get what you don't ask for.

Peace,

Big Stacks from Kakalak

faux_rillz

You: staring out at me, finger on your lips, with that diaphanous skirt kissing your thighs. And those open-toes laced up around your ankles.

Me: grubby-handed record grippeur

Where: Finyl Vinyl, as the proprietor talked my ear off about how he could have attended CBGB's regularly back in the day, but never actually did.

Let's not let fate cheat us a second time.

hogginthefogg

I'm a fucking fool.

I just hit up the local (white-owned) Mexican grocery store to pick up some ant killer and bleach. Hit the register to pay and stood right behind this BANGIN' ass Chicana. A little taller than me, casual yet freshly dressed with a ponytail and a cute little face highlighted with some rectangle frame glasses. She looked about my age (rather refreshing, considering how few sexy ass 30 year old women there are these days). She was buying a 4 pack of wine coolers and some gum.

I was praying for her to turn around just a bit so I could get my eye contact on. I NEED that eye contact, at least a LITTLE something, to pursue it. This damn girl was OBLIVIOUS though! In her own little world and shit. Old ass cashier didn't hesitate to flirt, but man, how was I suppose to just jump in with them? Once they gave her her change I was like, "alright, let me just pay for this shit and try to get some eye contact outside."

Goddamn cockblocking ass cashier. That fool fucked up my 2 item purchase. Holmes did that shit on purpose, I KNOW IT. By the time I got outside, girl was driving away all by her lonesome. She's probably sippin' on that Bartles & Jaymes and riding The Rabbit?? to a lonely nights' sleep. And I'm here telling you foolios about it.

I kick myself for this type of shit way too often.

Philahobo, Stacks, JLR, King Moist...SOMEBODY please console me here.

Herm

Herm,

Do you have reason to believe that said shorty lurks on Soulstrut? Because I think you'd be better served poasting this on Craigslist.

Also, I don't think she was 30 if she was buying wine coolers and gum.

mannybolone

The projection to include the Rabbit has made this thread hi-larious.

Missed Connections...ok

I Love You / I Hate you... get on my level:

http://www.citypaper.net/lovehate/

DEAR NEEDLE DICK
Thank you for the size of your nose being inversely related to the size of your penis. Thank you for fucking me with it for over a year. Thank you for using your roommate's XL condoms (because you were too much of a trash bag to buy your own) despite the drastic size difference between you two and them breaking EVERY TIME. Thank you for telling me I shouldn't go on birth control because we weren't officially "in a relationship." (although we fucked more than real couples probably do).Thank you for making me take the morning after pill four times. (The doctors say it's only safe to take it once.) Thank you for ruining the one normal relationship with a male I attempted to have because of your jealousy. Thank you for telling me you liked me, and then taking it back time and time again, saying they weren't really ??true feelings.?? Thank you for dating the 19-year- old who you fucked while fucking me, while you used to lay in bed with me and laugh at her incessant text messages, professing her love to you through dashboard confessional quotes, or something painfully pathetic like that. I hope she's enjoying your needly dick as much as I did. And finally, thank you for playing tortured innocent emo boy throughout it all. After writing this I realize how pathetic I am for ever caring about a scumbag shallow pedophile lowlife like you. You make me want to become a lesbian. Thanks for that. Thanks for everything.

HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY
You know that it was me calling and calling on your phone. I see that ever since I loaned you that money when you were out of work your dumbass took the fuck off like a thief in the night!!! You don't have to worry about taking me to work or showing me how to drive. Karma is a mother-fucker so just wait until you get yours. Also my boyfriend eats my fat pussy so well why would I even think about leaving him for you!! Your crazy sign. Your lighten STAR

JUSTIN
I just wanted to let you know that I am astounded by the manliness you displayed tonight by pushing the door open past our DISABLED roommate with BRITTLE BONE DISEASE to steal the cat we've been taking care of since you screwed us out of $300. I'm sure you felt a mighty surge of testosterone when you saw her quivering in fear that you would break one of her fragile bones. Many men would fare well from the lesson of chivalry taught by you, brave sir (lonely,pathetic psycho).

funkyexample

You: staring out at me, finger on your lips, with that diaphanous skirt kissing your thighs. And those open-toes laced up around your ankles.

Me: grubby-handed record grippeur

Where: Finyl Vinyl, as the proprietor talked my ear off about how he could have attended CBGB's regularly back in the day, but never actually did.

Let's not let fate cheat us a second time.

We need a record missed connections section!!!

white_tea

b/w

faux_rillz

JUSTIN
I just wanted to let you know that I am astounded by the manliness you displayed tonight by pushing the door open past our DISABLED roommate with BRITTLE BONE DISEASE to steal the cat we've been taking care of since you screwed us out of $300. I'm sure you felt a mighty surge of testosterone when you saw her quivering in fear that you would break one of her fragile bones. Many men would fare well from the lesson of chivalry taught by you, brave sir (lonely,pathetic psycho).

Damn, that boy Jinx is roofless!

batmon

shit. Old ass cashier didn't hesitate to flirt

Get your improv skills up.

faux_rillz

shit. Old ass cashier didn't hesitate to flirt

Get your improv skills up.

"I couldn't help but notice that you're buying gum. And wine coolers."

catalist

shit. Old ass cashier didn't hesitate to flirt

Get your improv skills up.

"I couldn't help but notice that you're buying gum. And wine coolers."

Unfortunately ant killer and bleach aren't good conversation starters.

"hey girl, what are you doing later"

"me? oh I'm just going home to relax by myself and sip some wine coolers, maybe have some gum, what about you?"

"what am I doing later? Oh I'm just setting up some traps for the ant infestation I have at my crib and I'm going to wash my sheets with this bleach , they've become quite stained as of late."

faux_rillz

shit. Old ass cashier didn't hesitate to flirt

Get your improv skills up.

"I couldn't help but notice that you're buying gum. And wine coolers."

Unfortunately ant killer and bleach aren't good conversation starters.

"hey girl, what are you doing later"

"me? oh I'm just going home to relax by myself and sip some wine coolers, maybe have some gum, what about you?"

"what am I doing later? Oh I'm just setting up some traps for the ant infestation I have at my crib and I'm going to wash my sheets with this bleach , they've become quite stained as of late."

Haha...

"Gum? I love gum!"

Supergood

"Gumb? I love gumb!"

faux_rillz

"Girl, I'm standing here imagining myself running that gum through your hair"

batmon

shit. Old ass cashier didn't hesitate to flirt

Get your improv skills up.

"I couldn't help but notice that you're buying gum. And wine coolers."

"What are you mixing those with?" (Bartyle & James & BubbleYum)

faux_rillz

shit. Old ass cashier didn't hesitate to flirt

Get your improv skills up.

"I couldn't help but notice that you're buying gum. And wine coolers."

"What are you mixing those with?" (Bartyle & James & BubbleYum)

"I used to do a little amateur bartending my damn self"

batmon

shit. Old ass cashier didn't hesitate to flirt

Get your improv skills up.

"I couldn't help but notice that you're buying gum. And wine coolers."

"What are you mixing those with?" (Bartyle & James & BubbleYum)

"I used to do a little amateur bartending my damn self"

"You gotta try the new flavor."

b/w

" Yo' Julio your slippin with your orders. I can cop the Mango Blackberry up the block. What's the deal, son."

DB_Cooper

shit. Old ass cashier didn't hesitate to flirt

Get your improv skills up.

"I couldn't help but notice that you're buying gum. And wine coolers."

"What are you mixing those with?" (Bartyle & James & BubbleYum)

Have you ever tried soaking a pickle in that?

Hotsauce84

OH SNAP!!!!

I'll be Bartles, you be Jaymes - w4m - 30

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reply to: [email]pers-335238824@craigslist.org[/email]
Date: 2007-05-21, 8:17AM MST


You were a short little horndog buying ant killer and bleach. I could dunk over you, and would have talked to you but it was a little creepy that you were smelling my ear while I was paying for my wine coolers and gum. Do you like Chingo? I know Daze.

Did you really expect me to kick it with a guy carrying poison and bleach? Might as well have had a gun and a hacksaw. You gets no butt dawg.




Location: your pants
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 335238824

Hotsauce84

And for the record, I have no problem whatsoever gettin' my lil flirt-flirt on. I would even go so far as to say that I am better with the wordplay than most of you foolios. However, my problem this time was my inability to just jump in without making the situation awkward. As some of you pointed out, there's not much I can do with some wine coolers and gum.

Herm

jaymack

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

faux_rillz

And for the record, I have no problem whatsoever gettin' my lil flirt-flirt on. I would even go so far as to say that I am better with the wordplay than most of you foolios. However, my problem this time was my inability to just jump in without making the situation awkward. As some of you pointed out, there's not much I can do with some wine coolers and gum.

Herm

"Do you like Hypnotiq?"

batmon

As some of you pointed out, there's not much I can do with some wine coolers and gum.

Would you be more creative if it was Now-N-Later and Midnight Dragon?

jaymack

SOMETimes sarcasm works

"Wow, four wine coolers. Getting wasted tonight?"

Maybe that would get a laugh.

faux_rillz

As some of you pointed out, there's not much I can do with some wine coolers and gum.

Would you be more creative if it was Now-N-Later and Midnight Dragon?

I am saying!

Why not find something to complement her on? Perhaps something she's wearing to let her know you're the sort of man that pays attention to such things? The glasses would have been perfect.