You ever been woken up by the neighbors f**king?

Controller_7

That last round of posts about walking in on someone in the act was great. Hopefully this will conjure up some good stories too. It happened to me last night, hence this post.I'm generally a pretty heavy sleeper. Not much wakes me up. Last night i went to bed around 2 something and my girlfriend says "did you hear the sex upstairs?" I thought I had heard something, but it wasn't anything crazy. No biggy. I fall asleep and I am woken up around 4 in the morning. I'm totally confused. I don't know if I woke up because my girlfriend turned the light on or if it was because of the noise. Anyways, there is some LOUD sex going on upstairs. I am out of it, the light is on, and it's really noisy. I'm grumpy. My girlfriend says something to me and I'm like "huh, whuhh, do you want me to do something about it?" and I stand up and pound on the ceiling. The sex stops for about 5 seconds and then continues, but more quietly this time. Then they start talking. I probably fell asleep a few minutes later. My girlfriend, who has to wake up early for work, was woken up at 2 and 4 because of it. This isn't the first time this has happened. A few months back the girls upstairs had some sort of party and it was normal party noise from like 8-11 PM. Then it was quiet from 11 until about 1:30 when I heard people humping in both sides of the apartment. basically dueling fucks, like a roommate chellenge. Who can fuck louder? it went on all night and drove us insane. Shit was shaking in our apartment. I laughed for a bit at first, but after awhile it's not funny. The craziest part of it was that they woke up at around 8 in the morning and there were tons of voices. They either had an orgy or they had sex while all of their friends were sleeping over. I know someone is going to ask "why didn't you go up there and join in?" Uhhm, No thanks.

empanadamn

oh shit. sorry about that dogg.

Controller_7

I guess this could also be:

"You ever woke up your neighbors because you were fucking so loud?"

Or maybe even "You ever fucked with a turd in the chamber?"

sabadabada

I guess this could also be:

"You ever woke up your neighbors because you were fucking so loud?"

Or maybe even "You ever fucked with a turd in the chamber?"

are we allowed to still say shit like this, now that there are all these girls around?

elise

I guess this could also be:

"You ever woke up your neighbors because you were fucking so loud?"

Or maybe even "You ever fucked with a turd in the chamber?"

are we allowed to still say shit like this, now that there are all these girls around?

turds in the chamber, son!!!

shitzr

"You ever fucked with a turd in the chamber?"

my girl and i shared an inlaw with two FINE ass indonesian/vietnamese sisters. the hotter one had a room next to ours.

she never had a shortage of dates, but she never had dudes spend the night. then she started seeing this one dude seriously. the first few times dude stayed late (leaving 2 or 3am), there was no fucking. now, as fine as she was i always wondered what my roomate would be like when sexin and everytime dude was over, you knew that there was a chance that it was gonna go down that night.

then it happened. i'm a heavy sleeper, and unfortunately my girl isn't. she woke me up like "jesus, they're doing it!"

"what?"

"dude, they're having sex!"

i realized what the hell was going on so i became alert, kept my exitement on the under from my girl, and began to focus my hearing on what was going on in the next room. yucko. all we could hear was dude moaning. i mean out loud moaning. my roomate was a gaddamn mute in bed. for like the next hour i was pissed because for one, hearing dude was sickening, and two, even though i fell back asleep my girl kept waking me up every ten minutes telling me how pissed she was that she couldn't go back to sleep because of the dude.

i wanted my money back.

ps - whattup tommy!

sabadabada

"You ever fucked with a turd in the chamber?"

my girl and i shared an inlaw with two FINE ass indonesian/vietnamese sisters. the hotter one had a room next to ours.

she never had a shortage of dates, but she never had dudes spend the night. then she started seeing this one dude seriously. the first few times dude stayed late (leaving 2 or 3am), there was no fucking. now, as fine as she was i always wondered what my roomate would be like when sexin and everytime dude was over, you knew that there was a chance that it was gonna go down that night.

then it happened. i'm a heavy sleeper, and unfortunately my girl isn't. she woke me up like "jesus, they're doing it!"

"what?"

"dude, they're having sex!"

i realized what the hell was going on so i became alert, kept my exitement on the under from my girl, and began to focus my hearing on what was going on in the next room. yucko. all we could hear was dude moaning. i mean out loud moaning. my roomate was a gaddamn mute in bed. for like the next hour i was pissed because for one, hearing dude was sickening, and two, even though i fell back asleep my girl kept waking me up every ten minutes telling me how pissed she was that she couldn't go back to sleep because of the dude.

i wanted my money back.

ps - whattup tommy!

are you saying maybe she was quite because she had a turd in the chamber?

verb606

my girl and i shared an inlaw

DJPrestige

my wife's co worker moved into the studio next to our loft. we've been woken up several times by her getting railed and the bed hitting up against the wall. my wife sent her a text message: can you do me a favor and move your bed away from the wall, you kept me up til 4am. it's been kinda quiet ever since.

SoulOnIce

kept my exitement on the under

holmes

My flat is in a building that is split 3 ways. My bedroom is right next to the bedroom in one of the other places & a guy used to live there who had a girlfriend for a bit & I would hear the whole show every night they would do it. It was traumatising to say the least, they were not quiet, the moans, screams, skin smacking, aargh. The first night it happened he got up afterwards & started playing Creed on the stereo at like 2am, some sort of conquest celebration music, I don't know what was worse, the sex sounds or the half hour of Creed afterwards. It was also kinda bad because my wife had just left & I definitely wasn't getting any myself either/feeling like acknowledging other people's happy. Dude moved out anyways, but they broke up way before then. I have a new neighbour now & she's real quiet, I don't hear anything & I appreciate that all the more now.

hemol

The last spot that I lived at in Orlando wasn't on a very thick foundation; some kind of two foot elevated mess. When my roommate would be humping the floor in my room would wobble. I've never fucked witha turd in the chamber, but fucking with a full stomach sucks. I came home to my apartment a few months ago and some people on the first floor were going at it way loud at around 8 pm.

silvertone

My neighbors had me evicted for fucking too loud repeatedly. It sucks. Some people like to fuck loud and at the least respectful hours. T*mmy, if you don't wanna hear fucking you need to move to the country homie!

I casually dated this girl that that really into being choked and or hit while having sex... and as some folks on this board can attest to, I am not a prude... different people have different turn ons or whatever. But yeah, she was fun, and it was all in good understanding roles and trust levels, but man, the girl neighbors next door thought I was a fucking tyrant (except there was one that shy neighbor threw the occasional look away and smile/blush).

So yeah. She liked having her ass kicked a bit while fucking. She would kick my ass a bit while fucking, I also enjoyed it. They called the cops on me more than once. The cops were always super embarrased when one or both of use would come to the door half naked and smiling. They called the landlord repreatedly (ironically the landlord lived below me, and heard all the same shit).... eventually I had to move. Now I live above a bar that has loud bands till 3 am.

I can get the shit beat out of me by ladies that like to yell "fuck you motherfucker" at the top of thier lungs. I am a happy man.

faux_rillz

One night almost ten years ago I was woken up by my then-neighbor beating up on her live-in boyfriend. He was sobbing and threatening to call the cops, and she was encouraging him to do it, talking about "They'll never believe you, bitch!" *smack* *thwap*

A week later I was awoken by her getting intimate with her new boyfriend.





I greatly resent you dudes for reminding me of all this.

waxjunky

When I was living in LA I was recording vinyl or maybe was asleep late night when I thought I heard a fight out in the alley. I opened the window and didn't see anyone out there. Then I realized the sound of some loud sex was just bouncing off the other building from the upstairs apartment. What made this very interesting was that the girl was a TV anchor for Fox Sports West. She later lost her job with Fox for banging one of the Los Angeles Dodgers. That's a conflict of interest, right there. Plus, she was married to someone else, making a bad look even worse.

soulmarcosa

If my fifty-plus crazy cat lady of a neighbor ever has carnal sounds coming out of her apartment, I will definitely kill myself.

Actually that Creed story will probably make me kill myself before crazy cat lady has a chance to get lucky.

yuichi

Actually that Creed story will probably make me kill myself before crazy cat lady has a chance to get lucky.

nightmare, to say the least.

pickwick33

My flat is in a building that is split 3 ways. My bedroom is right next to the bedroom in one of the other places & a guy used to live there who had a girlfriend for a bit & I would hear the whole show every night they would do it. It was traumatising to say the least, they were not quiet, the moans, screams, skin smacking, aargh. The first night it happened he got up afterwards & started playing Creed on the stereo at like 2am, some sort of conquest celebration music, I don't know what was worse, the sex sounds or the half hour of Creed afterwards. It was also kinda bad because my wife had just left & I definitely wasn't getting any myself either/feeling like acknowledging other people's happy.

nothing can make a man without a woman feel more suicidal and deflated than hearing two people fucking. thats just some lowdown shit. if youre hungry and your next door neighbor is cooking a steak and theyre not gonna give you any, would you want to see/hear them eating it?

see, i was reading DJ Prestige and Shitzr's posts and im thinking, "what are y'all squawking about, at least you guys were lying next to your wife/girlfriend, so the sex sounds probably didnt sting as bad as it would if you were by yourself"

day

I'm about to wake the neighbors up.

empanadamn

making a bad look even worse.

i lik ethis for asome reason

kala

My neighbors had me evicted for fucking too loud repeatedly. It sucks. Some people like to fuck loud and at the least respectful hours. T*mmy, if you don't wanna hear fucking you need to move to the country homie!

I casually dated this girl that that really into being choked and or hit while having sex... and as some folks on this board can attest to, I am not a prude... different people have different turn ons or whatever. But yeah, she was fun, and it was all in good understanding roles and trust levels, but man, the girl neighbors next door thought I was a fucking tyrant (except there was one that shy neighbor threw the occasional look away and smile/blush).

So yeah. She liked having her ass kicked a bit while fucking. She would kick my ass a bit while fucking, I also enjoyed it. They called the cops on me more than once. The cops were always super embarrased when one or both of use would come to the door half naked and smiling. They called the landlord repreatedly (ironically the landlord lived below me, and heard all the same shit).... eventually I had to move. Now I live above a bar that has loud bands till 3 am.

I can get the shit beat out of me by ladies that like to yell "fuck you motherfucker" at the top of thier lungs. I am a happy man.

true pimping words spoken
'who am i to say
"No i will not Spank You becauce it might upset the neighbors"
gettin evicted is a must
make it loud
make it hurt
leave a handprint
or grab a wooden spatula[plastic works too!!] when your hand gets tired
use a belt and leave some welts
make some fucking noise
hahahahaha

kala

some sort of conquest celebration music,

The_Hook_Up

I was woken up and traumatzed ,I think by the sounds of guy on guy sex, many a time. I lived in a duplex and shared a wall with this gay dude...anywho, one night I woke up to the sounds of what sounded like two dudes in pain...I had never heard gay sex before, it sounded god-awful, like it couldnt be any fun at all. It sounded like two dudes getting bamboo splinters rammed under their fingernails....It was horrifying, and loud. I had to keep headphones in close reach to drown them out. Also if they werent having sex they were having drunken fistfights, or maybe they fucking, I really couldnt tell the difference.

spivy

many years back i lived in a big 3 story house with 6 of my good friends. we used to throw great parties, shit was on some animal house mayhem. anyway...our living room, where we all hung out, was on the second floor. it was directly next to one of the bedrooms that my roommate n*** stayed in. (i always felt sorry for n***). one day n*** comes home around 2 in the afternoon, with this girl he's been macking, to a living room full of dudes watching a movie. he says hello, introduces said girl and makes his way to his room.

a few minutes go by and we start to hear some rustling going on so we turn up the tv. (at this point we could have left the room but shit...we were watching a movie and it was mid day.) we continue to watch the flick, smoke a lil' smoke, when all of a sudden we start hearing some moaning type shit. again we turn up the tv, even louder this time. (this is the point where we start thinking maybe we should turn the movie off for a few and come back a lil' later). when no less than a minute later the girl breaks out into some full on birthing yelps and moans and starts saying all types of hilarious and nasty shit. even n*** starts getting into it... yuck! i'm sorry... it's one thing hearing a girl you know or don't know but its disgusting hearing your boy getting down.

we instantly pause the movie, look at each other with that awkward wtf??? type face, and burst out lauging. i mean gut busting type of laughter. a few minutes later n*** walks out with this ice grill look on his face like
" what the fuck guys?" and we start laughing again. dude was heated for sure but he should have known better. atleast keep it down if you don't want cats up in your business. shit we were trying to watch a movie. they sounded like they were having a shouting contest.

mannybolone

a few minutes later n*** walks out with this ice grill look on his face like
" what the fuck guys?" and we start laughing again.

See, he missed the key opportunity:

Before anybody has a chance to speak/I say, 'yo, don't say nothin, I guess I'm just a freak?"

Unknown

I rolled up to a house once to do a job on the phone cables running through the backyards. I knocked on the door to let the people know I'd be working in the yard, but no one answered which I thought was weird since there was a car in the driveway, and one directly in front of the house with a warm hood, and it was a little after noon on a weekday. Whatever, I figure they just don't want to answer the door.

Opened the gate to walk into the back and heard what I thought were cats fighting in the house. Kept on going and realized real quick that it was two people going at it, loud and proud. I started working, minding my own business, finally they stopped a few minutes later. I had to walk back to the street to get something from my truck and was out there when dude left the house, in a suit and tie to head back to work. He didn't really look at me, kind of tried to avoid making eye contact with me actually. I'm thinking "sweet, dude came home for a nooner with wifey". Now I head back to the door and knock again, this time she answers in a robe. I tell her I'm going back to do some work, she says no problem and shuts the door.

The next morning I'm back on the block to work two houses down from them, and see two cars in the driveway again but one of them wasn't there the day earlier. I'm sitting there eating breakfast when the front door opens, some new guy walks out, gives wifey a kiss, goes and picks up his paper off the lawn and leaves for work.

Wifey was having an affair the day before!!!

pcmr

I forgot about this story to tell

and its record related

There was this girl I was feelin and i was about to jet for peru. I had just found an old sonny turntable at a flea and she was trying to get into vinyl so i thougt i would give it to her.

So its the lastday before departure full of errands to run and i have some in her hood so i call her up so we can meet to say goodbye...its all good she tells me to pass by around 12

i get close to her crib (on my bike like good ole K in quebec however) in the basement storage to pick up the turntable give her a call and she says 'yo you cant come..i am going to the health clinic'' ''right now? i am 2 seconds away' 'yeah i am leaving now' ok but whatever

I am about to bounce back home but i am on my bike and its so close...what the hell i ll leave a package in the backyard give her a little surprise

I get to her crib and go in the back entrance... funny there is music on

Her neighbors or something right...than i see her back porch open

i drop the package and i hear screams, moans and ''stop your hurting me''

DJ_Enki

I just got woken up by the neighbors doing the grownup. Not so much traumatizing as annoying--I'd rather still be sleeping. Payback's a motherfucker, I guess.

Junior

Back when I was at Uni one of my housemates had the room directly below my own. He hooked up with this new girl who was actually quite fit for him but from the first night she stayed round I'd hear moaning from about 1 to 3 in the morning.

The bit that disturbed me was that I'd never hear a single peep from the woman, it'd just be deep and disturbing moaning from my housemate.

None of the rest of the house believed me despite my insistence until one day she came round in the afternoon. Her and my housemate disappeared into his bedroom which was situated off the living room where we were all lounging. Minutes later his trademark moans started happening and I jumped up in celebration shouting "You see, you see! He's a fucking moaner!"

Poor bloke didn't hear the end of it for the two months until he moved out of the house.

I almost felt guilty but dude had already shorted out electricity in the house twice in a month and got us rats in the kitchen so it seemed more like karmic balance to me.

Okem

One summers night me and my flat mates were sitting out in our garden, after having a bbq. We had some guitars and maybe some small drums and were having a quite but lively, party in the evening air.
Then we hear one of our neighbours fuckin. No biggie really, its summer, everyone's got their windows open. But then 10 mins after its all ended, the bitch comes round and knocks on our door, telling us we've got to be quiet, cause she's trying to get to sleep. We of coarse, were very apologetic, until one of my flat mates decided to voice his apology buy mimicking her moans, like 'Oooooh I'm Sooooo sorry, yer I've been baaad..' By the time we'd all joined in, making our exaggerated porno noises, she'd ran back to here flat.

leisurebandit

and as some folks on this board can attest to, I am not a prude...

i'm still amazed youall left this one out there: