Word the hospital is an odd place. everything weird happens there. When I worked graveyard shift I had to stall an Amish family who came down to check on their baby who had just died. Central service was in charge of the morgue key. A nurse was trying to wrap the kid in blankets because off massive internal bleeding made the baby look really gross and its skin was about to burst. The Amish women were crying and yelling at me in German or some shit and the Amish men all looked the same with beards and a terrible face. I tried to talk with them about how we have to get the baby ready for viewing because it had just been in surgery, they were yelling IT IS IN GODS HANDS AND WE WANT TO SEE GODS WORK or something worst thing it was Christmas Eve seeing shit like that and having to go through it for 10 years of my life changed me inside somehow.
While working at Best Buy there was a cool ass manager named Todd. 6'3 wirey white dude who loved to chase a thief onto the streets. My good friend John was fired from wireless and the next day they hire some spikey haired dude to fill his spot. They asked me to train him in what little I knew about the department (I worked tech bay). So I go to talk to the guy and he blows me off with something like "I don't need your fucking help." I'm ready to beat this guys face in. I let it slide left, and told Todd what happened. Later on in the day someone was returning a Treo I sent him to the wireless desk and watched as the guy turned the guy away kept the phone and stuck the Treo in his pocket. I go, "Todd the new Wireless guy just stuck a cellphone in his pocket." So, the guy starts to go on his break Todd goes, "Turn your pocket inside out." The new guy pushes Todd and makes a run for the front doors. Todd grabs him by the back of his shirt and belt buckle picked him up and suplexes him and goes, "You're so fucking fired!" Awesome!
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I worked at this stupid travel discounts place after being told I was "Too Qualified" to work at Cox Cable tech support. It was basically a scripted travel place you would talk to us for special promotions from like travelocity and whatnot. So.. the day before I was told that I was going to get hired at my Uncle's work to do Faux painting which pays super good. During lunch I over heard somebody say that some rep was going to get fired as an example because he went off script and said "Eh whatever" to a customer. It was clear to me that they were definitely talking about me. After lunch during crunch time. I stood on the desk and said, "LISTEN UP! THIS JOB IS A FUCKING DEAD END. I QUIT!! MANAGEMENT GO FUCK YOURSELVES."
It was clear to me that they were definitely talking about me. After lunch during crunch time. I stood on the desk and said, "LISTEN UP! THIS JOB IS A FUCKING DEAD END. I QUIT!! MANAGEMENT GO FUCK YOURSELVES."
It was clear to me that they were definitely talking about me. After lunch during crunch time. I stood on the desk and said, "LISTEN UP! THIS JOB IS A FUCKING DEAD END. I QUIT!! MANAGEMENT GO FUCK YOURSELVES."
It was clear to me that they were definitely talking about me. After lunch during crunch time. I stood on the desk and said, "LISTEN UP! THIS JOB IS A FUCKING DEAD END. I QUIT!! MANAGEMENT GO FUCK YOURSELVES."
- spidey
Awesome.
When I first landed in NYC, I held down a sketchy print production job w/ an ass-hurt Belarusian boss who had the worst breath I've witnessed in my entire life. He + his couple of underlings would frequently talk ish in their native tongue about me, and loved to get irate w/ me over little things, like loading paper in the printer etc. Needless to say, I was pleased to move on to bigger/better things, and on my last payday, I walked out after lunch, check in hand...never to return.
Right before leaving, I clicked "print" sending a poster-sized file to each of the three plotters which simply read: "FUCK YOU, I QUIT" in huge block type. I set the same graphic as desktop backgrounds on all of the workstations. (I could count on the fools to leave me up front, unattended, while they ate lunch each day...) Wish I saw the expression on my ex-boss' face.
Closest I've ever been to getting fired (up to now) is when I was contracted to work for a major accounting and consulting firm. I happened to have joined a few months before Christmas and was eager to get taken on as a permanent employee; unfortunately I was still young and full of youthful righteousness.
Christmas came round and I was invited to a black tie event with all the staff including senior partners etc. I foolishly went for a few drinks beforehand and by the time of the meal was feeling a bit worse for wear. Stuck on a table of condescending sliver spoon fed pricks I got bored by the talk of pay packets and started chatting to one of the senior partners??? wives. I was having difficulty finding common ground for conversation so decided to tell her that I had trained as a professional dancer in my early teens and invited her onto the dance floor. Before I knew it we were bumping and grinding and I moved in for the lunge, next thing I know was her husband grabbing the poor woman???s hand and dragging her out of the event.
Rather than accept this moral lesson I then wandered round telling everyone that it didn???t matter how much money the guy made, I could still do the dirty with his wife.
I came into work the next day and everyone had a good laugh about it at lunch which I was relieved about to say the least. However, I came back to my desk to find it cleared and a polite note informing me that my services were no longer required.
Comments
i must now look up "speculum" in google image search
everything weird happens there.
When I worked graveyard shift I had to stall an Amish family
who came down to check on their baby who had just died.
Central service was in charge of the morgue key.
A nurse was trying to wrap the kid in blankets because off massive internal bleeding
made the baby look really gross and its skin was about to burst.
The Amish women were crying and yelling at me in German or some shit
and the Amish men all looked the same with beards and a terrible face.
I tried to talk with them about how we have to get the baby ready for viewing
because it had just been in surgery, they were yelling IT IS IN GODS HANDS AND WE WANT TO SEE GODS WORK or something
worst thing
it was Christmas Eve
seeing shit like that and having to go through it for 10 years of my life
changed me inside somehow.
yick.
While working at Best Buy there was a cool ass manager named Todd. 6'3 wirey white dude who loved to chase a thief onto the streets. My good friend John was fired from wireless and the next day they hire some spikey haired dude to fill his spot. They asked me to train him in what little I knew about the department (I worked tech bay). So I go to talk to the guy and he blows me off with something like "I don't need your fucking help." I'm ready to beat this guys face in. I let it slide left, and told Todd what happened. Later on in the day someone was returning a Treo I sent him to the wireless desk and watched as the guy turned the guy away kept the phone and stuck the Treo in his pocket. I go, "Todd the new Wireless guy just stuck a cellphone in his pocket." So, the guy starts to go on his break Todd goes, "Turn your pocket inside out." The new guy pushes Todd and makes a run for the front doors. Todd grabs him by the back of his shirt and belt buckle picked him up and suplexes him and goes, "You're so fucking fired!" Awesome!
--
I worked at this stupid travel discounts place after being told I was "Too Qualified" to work at Cox Cable tech support. It was basically a scripted travel place you would talk to us for special promotions from like travelocity and whatnot. So.. the day before I was told that I was going to get hired at my Uncle's work to do Faux painting which pays super good. During lunch I over heard somebody say that some rep was going to get fired as an example because he went off script and said "Eh whatever" to a customer. It was clear to me that they were definitely talking about me. After lunch during crunch time. I stood on the desk and said, "LISTEN UP! THIS JOB IS A FUCKING DEAD END. I QUIT!! MANAGEMENT GO FUCK YOURSELVES."
- spidey
Awesome.
When I first landed in NYC, I held down a sketchy print production job w/ an ass-hurt Belarusian boss who had the worst breath I've witnessed in my entire life. He + his couple of underlings would frequently talk ish in their native tongue about me, and loved to get irate w/ me over little things, like loading paper in the printer etc. Needless to say, I was pleased to move on to bigger/better things, and on my last payday, I walked out after lunch, check in hand...never to return.
Right before leaving, I clicked "print" sending a poster-sized file to each of the three plotters which simply read: "FUCK YOU, I QUIT" in huge block type. I set the same graphic as desktop backgrounds on all of the workstations. (I could count on the fools to leave me up front, unattended, while they ate lunch each day...) Wish I saw the expression on my ex-boss' face.
Christmas came round and I was invited to a black tie event with all the staff including senior partners etc. I foolishly went for a few drinks beforehand and by the time of the meal was feeling a bit worse for wear. Stuck on a table of condescending sliver spoon fed pricks I got bored by the talk of pay packets and started chatting to one of the senior partners??? wives. I was having difficulty finding common ground for conversation so decided to tell her that I had trained as a professional dancer in my early teens and invited her onto the dance floor. Before I knew it we were bumping and grinding and I moved in for the lunge, next thing I know was her husband grabbing the poor woman???s hand and dragging her out of the event.
Rather than accept this moral lesson I then wandered round telling everyone that it didn???t matter how much money the guy made, I could still do the dirty with his wife.
I came into work the next day and everyone had a good laugh about it at lunch which I was relieved about to say the least. However, I came back to my desk to find it cleared and a polite note informing me that my services were no longer required.
I messed with the bull and got the horns.