GROOVY MUSIC RECORDS GUIDE !!!!

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Hotsauce84

[color:white]So I might have this little female dilemma.

A couple months ago I'm playing my gig and this lady comes up to the booth and gives me some propers. She introduces herself and says she's been diggin' what I play and whatnot. She's seems nice and all but I decide to play it cool 'cause I wasn't really feeling her like that, you know? She comes in the next week, and then the next and finally, on the third week, she says "So why don't you ever, like, TALK TO ME talk to me?"

I stay polite while playing dumb. "What do you mean?"

"You know, like hang out with me. Ask me for my number. If you haven't noticed, I liiiiiiiike you. I think you're cuuuuuuuuuute."

Now, please allow me to interrupt my own story. She has this whole crew of girls that she rolls with. They all grew up together in a small border town. Like 7-8 Mexican ladies with their one token white friend who was long since received her Honorary Chicana degree. I mean, shit, she's speak better spanish than I do! Well, the cute thing about these girls is that they ALL TALK ALIKE. There's certain times in their conversation when they drop like 3 octaves to say one sentence. It mostly happens when they're slightly embarrassed by what they're saying. Also, when something disturbs/perturbs them, they all say "Uuuuuuuuuy" (read: a more gutteral "Oooooooey"). And they all spread out certain words for effect. (They usually do it during the octave drop.) A rather simple "What are you doing?" comes out "What are you dooooooooooing?" So likewise, a simple "I like you, I think you're cute" becomes "I liiiiiiiike you, I think you're cuuuuuuuuuute."

Anyways, I apologize and decide to at least kick it with her a minute and see what she's like. I hang out with her a bit at the club and as it turns out, she's rather cool. Funny, witty, loves music (particularly "golden era" Hip Hop. She's got it real bad for Nasty Nas). I end up at her house that night and we bump some music, talk and make out a little.

Next week, she's back at the club. I give her a hug and say hi, then bounce around the room like I usually do. (There are times when I may have one, two, five lady friends at the spot and I make sure to K.I.M. so that eyebrows aren't raised and "who's THAT?!" queries are avoided.) This time, though, she's had a little too much too drink and becomes rather needy, expecting me to hang out with her longer. Now mind you, she's with her friends. It's not like I was leaving her all by herself. At this point, I start to realize that she could potentially be a "clinger," which could lead to rather annoying - if not, dangerous - situations.

Well, a week later she's sober and cool and static-free (non-clingy) and I'm...well, I am what I am. After the club, I meet her at her house, we make out some more and ummm, she takes it upon herself to uhhh, let just say I leaned back like I'm rich. (She shot crazy verbal. Wink wink.) 'Twas lovely.

I stay cool with her, as I do, but the next couple times I see her she's drunk and clingy again. To the point that I'm like "Get. The fuck. Off me." I mean, I don't say that out loud, but my body language was beatboxin' that shit, you know? I stayed nice but did my best to just kinda fade from her, hoping she would give up. Now, of course, that just made her even MORE aggressive. She was determined to get me. Now I've been playing poke-her long enough to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and know when to run. Well when I fold 'em up I handle that crease proper and I didn't want to get this young lady hooked, so I decided to walk away. (Although, in all fairness, I DO owe her one. It goes against my moral code to take without giving back!).

Well, I hold my ground and after a month or two she seems to have gotten the point (by NOT getting the point! Ha ha!). But now, here's the rub:

I kinda been flirting with her one of her crew members. Okay, okay...I made out with one. Alright, we humped! Now I know to some I might seem like a scandalous motherfucker, but to my credit, I'm not bouncin' right to left and shoulder leanin' on these women. I cut one off, remember? If anything, new girl's not staying true. I mean, apparently, in their circle I'm "marked" as M*****'s, so we gotta keep it EXTRA DL, which I pretty much what I ALWAYS do anyways. New girl feels guilty and has her doubts and all but we still play around a bit. (No more sex, though.) And for the record, I'm not trying to BE with her, just have some fun is all.

New girl takes all the standard "I know damn well I'm being scandalous" precautions: stays nonchalant when we're all in the same place, leaves private myspace messages rather than publicly-viewed comments, deletes my number from her cell in case her girls use it, etc. Well just now, right before I decided to type this I get a text from her phone:

Her phone: Herm?

Me: What up?

Her phone: Fuck! You got to be kidding me!

Something ain't right. If new girl sent that, why would she put a question mark after my name? Problem is, our last text message volley - sent earlier today - were rather flirtatious, risque and - if read by the wrong people - could get her in trouble. Methinks one of her girls was snooping around, read her shit, recognized the phone number and...who the fuck knows? I didn't respond and I sure as hell ain't calling her back on that phone! For all I know Lester and Prez could be listening in! Should I dump the cell and go back to using payphones down the block?

Man, I swear to God this dick of mine will be the death of me. I wish I could find just ONE woman that can make me forget ALL women, doyouknowwhatIamsayingtoyou?

Herm


P.S. What up, Twoply?! [/color]