Microwave nightmare # 49857 live from the club!
MorseCode
1,516 Posts
Soooo....Bout fifteen minutes ago, some drunken bitch spilled her beer all over the back of my labtop (12" Mac powerbook), luckily not into the keyboard or I probably wouldn't be posting this right now. When I grabbed the labtop and yanked it away from the beer shit cut out completely and the screen went dark. I yelled over to the bar for them to switch it to their house system connected to their ipod and they did, so no angry crowd or anything. I was pretty much freakin the fuck out, the girl that did it ran out the door with her friends. I dried everything off and got to work figuring out whether or not my shit was fucked. When I turned it on, I got a message saying my calendar was set to 2001 (????) and that it would probably affect a few applications. I couldn't move the mouse either. I ran outside to chase down those girls but they already skirted out. Coming back in defeated, I shut it down and turned it back on. This time, everything was fine. Hard drive intact, all music intact. Whew... I'm hoping that it was just yanking it away that fucked it up for a sec? Anyways, trying to figure out what my next step should be to cover my bases. FUCK. 
Comments
1). Angry Crowd? FUCK THE ANGRY CROWD! Worry about Angry Natt!! That's one of the few things I worry about when taking my laptop out-and-about
2). Take it to the Apple Store tomorrow. If you need my latop on saturday night I got you holmes.
2. What shit hot gig did my lazy ass miss this evening?
3. What's good for Friday and Sat nights?
4. You got pics from the Leftovers jam?
when i dj i use records still
imma ludditte
also glad i'm not a "pro"club dj' dude
that is a tough job based on all of the stories on hear on the soulstrut
i don't think i could ever "rock" a "dildo" or a "microwave" for some "beckys"
in a club.
i would wind up shooting one of them when the come up to request some justin timberlake
she be like "can I hear........."
and i would just floss a tek 9 from my dj bag and commence to spray becky brains all over the dancefloor.
brrrrrrrrrappppppppp splaaat
the porter would have to clean that shit up and it would be a hassle and not really
that much fun.
I want to be part of a scene whereby we create the enviornment where PLUR or any sense of gezellig can thrive and exist.
It's an unenviable job tending to the whimsy of drunk consumer sheeple requesting packaged product like "laffy taffy" and "chicken noodle line dance puke" and the newest whatever garbage they try to pass of as hip hop
"reggaeton" and "krink"[krunk but krink is cooler...some linda prehaps?] tunes and such
i would react violently and play vintage 80s death metal,gutbucket funk and folkway blues
also i'll cut a bitch who drench my computer
just kidding......
but not really
B*n, this is Double Dutch every Thursday in the Mission, 16th b/w Guerrero and Valencia. M****t took a grip of pictures on Friday, at least I think she did, so I'll ask her and there might actually be documentation of Rootless Cosmo dancing to "We Fly High"!
This weekend, its Slide on Friday, Warriors game on Saturday, and then Slide afterwards. Holler at me dood.
That is incredibly weak. What is wrong w/ those girls man? I hope you got a good look at them. I would definitely call them out on the mic next time I see them at a party.
The clock thing might just be your wireless not picking up a signal after an accidental shut down. I assume you selected your clock to be synced w/ apple's server clock, which requires an internet connection.
Best advice, dry the fuck out of your laptop. Blowdry cool setting, then lay it on a bed of rice to soak up any excess moisture.
Yeah that makes sense about the clock 'cause I moved it away from where the signal is in this place. I hope that's it. I think my shit is gonna be ok, *knock on wood.*
So lay it on a bed of rice huh? How very...Aser of you.
I'm picturing a wicked chase scene in my head, though. Becky's fleeing from the club and Nat quickly trailing after in hopes of a confrontation. Becky's getting lost in a big crowd narrowly escaping the wrath of a pissed off DJ.
Soundtrack to said chase... hmmm... how about a remix of the Get Carter soudtrack entitled Get Becky. Pitched up with a hyphy back beat. Josh B, I'm looking at you to make it
speak on it....
off topic - Does anyone know what the deal is with the power supply for Microwave? I remember plugging one with the same specs into it but it wouldnt allow my shit to play thru without having it usb'd to the pc.
That or have a fucking shield between the DJ and the crowd so that this shit doesn't happen. Get some hockey-style plexi-glass up there or something, cause this kinda shit is unacceptable.
Or how 'bout this million-dollar idea: some sort of anti-spillage condom for your dildo laptop. (Yes, yes,
The spot I dj monthly has a booth. It helps keep the Becky???s away from the equipment. They tend to line up at the stairs though. When I am on my own I line up chairs with crates on them so they can't get up into the booth. Last month one bitch came up to the booth between nearly every song to tell me she did not like the music and asked me at one point to play Ashley Simpson. I laughed at her but she kept coming back. Finally I told her to find another club and she got really pissed, then I told her she should buy her own equipment and become a dj because apparently she already knew a lot about it. She left. I love being mean to dumb bitches. I know some dudes get pissed, but I really kind of enjoy it. I already have my diss prepped for next month. "Aren???t you a little old for JT, I mean once you hit your mid thirties you should really grow up musically." I think if I say this to a Becky in her late to mid 20's it might make her cry.
aye holmes, i think she likes you.
I use the same old "headphones on I can't hear you trick.." with a smug face... ala
A dildo condom. Just brilliant. We shall call this product "The AYO".
The commercial:
Scene: Group of DJs and DJ friends irate and yelling about dumb Becky spilling beer on their dildo. DJs, Microwave and laptop are on the "Club set" where the laptop is soaked in liquid. Miller Lite bottle is seen spinning on left turtable in puddle of frothy beer. Laptop is actually on fire a little bit. Angry crowd staring at DJs (Morse Code, King Most, Ross Hogg) arguing. Then...
DJ1 (Morse Code): "I can't beleive that floozy shorted out my dildo by spilling her beer!"
DJ2 (King Most, dressed in fireman outfit): "I'll put out the fire." Leaves off screen.
DJ3 (RossHogg): "Stupid fucking Beckies. I TOLD you not to take requests."
DJ Ferrari runs in from off screen.
DJ4 (Ferrari): "Hey, did you guys see where my Marina friends Amber and Chrtina went? I saw them run out of the club as soon as the music cut."
King most returns with fire extinguisher and some random guy in chaps to put out fire. Fire extinguisher spurts. All DJs looking forlorn at burnt laptop. Announcer then begins talking from off screen.
Announcer (Enki): "Hate when your dildo goes on the fritz because some dumb ass Becky spills her beer on it?"
DJS: Group Nod. "Yeah"
Announcer: "Then get the AYO for that dildo!"
Huge condom in huge square lap-top shaped condom wrapper with AYO insignia and RAJ's face on it is handed by anonymous hand from off screen. Smoove "Love TKO" intro begins playing. As soon as bassline hits, DJ Morse Code unwraps unusually sized and square condom wrapper with starting with his teeth and looking at his computer with bedroom eyes. Bassline is looped and Morse Code is working bedroom mojo, seducing computer with eyebrow moves and unnecessary toungue wagging, and then slides the AYO condom over his laptop. Crow begins dancing again due to the sexiness of the scene. Unusually large sized condom has resevoir tip at the top of the screen.
Morse Code is rocking party again. Club in full part action again. Beckies from before come back. DJ Ferrari greets them. They immediately come back to DJ booth. Becky #2 spills beer on MorseCode's computer but he just looks at her and laughs with a patronizing smile because he had his AYO on.
Morse Code turns to camera...
DJ1 (Morse Code): "The night is saved! Thank you Ayo!"
End commercial.
Shit seems to be cool today. I'm gonna get to work cleanin this sombatch. Smells sorta like
hahaha... this needs to happen! Gnat, can you direct? I'll start auditions for the roles of Amber and Christina
Yeah, I think your right. I didn't seem like him when I wrote it. Perhaps Serge for that part. Ferrari, all in good fun: Disrespectfelatin I'm not. That gives me an idea. Puto's head is on the condom wrapper, not Raj's.
I'm trying to avoid studying Physiology right now, can you tell?