NewsStrut: Naked Man Pulled From Gator's Jaws

drewnice · November 2006

Naked man pulled from gator's jaws[/b]Associated PressNovember 30, 2006LAKELAND, Fla. -- Sheriff???s deputies pulled a naked man from the jaws of a nearly 12-foot long alligator that almost completely severed the man???s arm, the sheriff???s office said.Four deputies waded through thick mud about 20 feet into Lake Parker to find Adrian Apgar, 45, around 4 a.m. Wednesday morning, the sheriff???s office said. They were responding to multiple reports about a man screaming for help.Deputy Billy Osborne said he pulled Apgar???s arms while the gator gripped the man???s lower half and eventually helped pull Apgar free. The deputies said they couldn???t shoot the animal because it was too dark and they might have hit the victim.It was not clear why Apgar was in the water at such an early hour. Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said Apgar told deputies he had been smoking crack.Apgar was taken to the hospital in critical condition with an apparent broken right arm, leg injuries and his left arm hanging by a tendon. Hospital officials did not immediately release information about his condition.None of the deputies were injured.Fish and Wildlife trappers said they believe they caught the alligator near the site of the attack later Wednesday, although they said they couldn???t be sure it was the same animal.

faux_rillz · November 2006

Fish and Wildlife trappers said they believe they caught the alligator near the site of the attack later Wednesday, although they said they couldn???t be sure it was the same animal.

Err... why?

I mean, it's not like this is some extraordinarily dangerous alligator--it pretty much did what alligators can be expected to do when confronted by naked dudes wandering around the swamp after dark bingeing on crack.

Gnat · November 2006

Fish and Wildlife trappers said they believe they caught the alligator near the site of the attack later Wednesday, although they said they couldn???t be sure it was the same animal.

Err... why?

I mean, it's not like this is some extraordinarily dangerous alligator--it pretty much did what alligators can be expected to do when confronted by naked dudes wandering around the swamp after dark bingeing on crack.

HERE HERE. This illustrates a natural and well known law of the universe:
"If you smoke crack naked @4am in gator infested swamps, you will have at least one of your limbs mangled by said gators."

Leave the gators alone.

GenePontecorvo · November 2006

Fish and Wildlife trappers said they believe they caught the alligator near the site of the attack later Wednesday, although they said they couldn???t be sure it was the same animal.

Err... why?

I mean, it's not like this is some extraordinarily dangerous alligator--it pretty much did what alligators can be expected to do when confronted by naked dudes wandering around the swamp after dark bingeing on crack.

I think that's SOP in Florida. At least if the Discovery Channel is to be believed. Not sure what happens to the gators but they aren't killed.

faux_rillz · November 2006

Fish and Wildlife trappers said they believe they caught the alligator near the site of the attack later Wednesday, although they said they couldn???t be sure it was the same animal.

Err... why?

I mean, it's not like this is some extraordinarily dangerous alligator--it pretty much did what alligators can be expected to do when confronted by naked dudes wandering around the swamp after dark bingeing on crack.

I think that's SOP in Florida. At least if the Discovery Channel is to be believed. Not sure what happens to the gators but they aren't killed.

I mean I can see it if the alligator is in somebody's pool or something, but I'm assuming from the fact that they're not even sure if they got the right one, that it was someplace where they're known to reside.

noz · November 2006

fatback?

SoulOnIce · November 2006

It was not clear why Apgar was in the water at such an early hour. Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said Apgar told deputies he had been smoking crack.

Is this really information one generally offers up to Sheriff's
deputies willingly? I mean, I realize the guy was in traumatic
shock and all, but he couldn't have thought of a better excuse
for being there than "I was smoking crack??"

hogginthefogg · November 2006

In the words of Chris Rock (commenting on the Sigfried and Roy tiger attack): "The tiger didn't go crazy, the tiger went tiger!"

When I was a kid, there was a guy who lived a few doors down from us named Joe Bailey. He was in his late 20s and was a very friendly guy, but kinda crazy. I remember that he had a "hot stuff" tattoo that said "Born to Raise Hell," and I think that he was just being honest.

When I was about 11, he called me and my friend over from his driveway. "I wanna show y'all somethin' in my backyard!" We were kinda scared, but we were too curious not to check it out. There, in a hastily-constructed pen made of chicken wire, was a 6-foot alligator with its mouth duct-taped shut. We started, and said, "Joe! Where'd you get that thing?"

I'll never forget his casual reply:

"We was in the bass boat fishin' last night.... I seen him in the water and I just jumped on him and held on."

Did I mention that Joe was probably 5'7", tops? Those crazy Cajuns!

faux_rillz · November 2006

It was not clear why Apgar was in the water at such an early hour. Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said Apgar told deputies he had been smoking crack.

Is this really information one generally offers up to Sheriff's
deputies willingly? I mean, I realize the guy was in traumatic
shock and all, but he couldn't have thought of a better excuse
for being there than "I was smoking crack??"

I like how it remains "unclear" why he was in the water even following the admission that he'd been smoking crack--as if the next thing that comes out of his mouth is going to be a perfectly sensible explanation.