I Wanna Be An Asshole
behemoth
2,189 Posts
i was really nice to people my whole life thus far. i get the urge to start calling people cocksuckers and bitchassmotherfuckers and im just getting worried as time goes on i wont be able to do it. any advice dickheads?
Comments
and try to get into old school
yes--calm down. welcome to soulstrut, where everybody takes a turn being the butt of the joke. stick around. and best of luck with your educational endeavors.
i am calm. i can take the stabs. can we just talk about records? i wanna open a record store. but i only got 2 crates. can i still do it?
before opening a record store, maybe you should go to business school first you cocksucker.
fuck your record store cocksucker
Is it me, or are most of the jerkoffs in NYC originally from somewhere else?
Native New Yorkers were cool, but the real pricks had just moved there within a few years.
A friend of my roommate, a real bitch, has been out there maybe 2 years and she kept on refering to NYC as "her" city. I wanted to slap her..
what part of NY?
is this "radio show with Teddy" Chase? if so...close to you up Rt 17. if it isnt, about 35 mins outside NYC. so is it?
Thinking of a dude from Smallbany
Daniel?
yepp...how are you?
I used to kick it with the PCM family... typs, dez, rick etc.. been about 2 years or so since I have lived up there...
the behemoth album is
ahh yes they are all cool people. glad u like the album. keep bumpin it please.
I remember a few months back I was at the beach, and this young girl was out there proselitizing and trying to sell me Jesus. On the assholism scale, thats pretty minor, because really I guess she only trying to do the right thing. In kind voice I could muster I told her "Sweetheart, you know thats a load of shit, right?" That was a step up on the asshole scale for sure, but I wasn't vicious about it, and I said it kindly and with a smile, and in fact she tried to convince me to go jesus.
The sad thing is, I've heard all these "arguments" before, and would finish her sentences for her. She wasn't really ready for any kind of debate, so I suggested that she read up on Atheist liturature and prepare her arguments better, so that when she bumps into people like me she can handle it better. Its not like I'm some master debater or anything, but this was simpleton shit. I had even been drinking all day on the beach and it was easy. I knew I was being an asshole, but I figured that by her approaching me, I was still relatively safe on the asshole level. very low.
Well after she got flustered and left I started to walk away because we were all heading back to our car. Then some beach stoner dork was like "Hey... maaan... if there was no god then how could there be something as beautiful as the grand canyon???" and so I yelled back that god made it so I could have a place to rest my balls. Thats about medium on the asshole level.
A friend of mine was at the local casino, and all the card tables were full. He really wanted to play, and was feeling kind of gassy, so he picked a table and stood there letting out 'silent but deadlies', hoping that somebody would eventually get sick of it and leave. It didn't work, but that rates pretty high on the asshole scale, while at the same time being totally hilarious.
There's some guy listed in the phone book as Phat Dong. Yeah, I call sometimes. He always gets mad. Its always funny to me. I'm not sure how high that rates on the asshole scale.
I did something with mayonaise and light sockets a long time ago to a dude who totally deserved it. That was a really big asshole move, but fuck that guy!
Native New Yorkers were cool, but the real pricks had just moved there within a few years.
That's the complete opposite of my LA experiences. Everyone really cool was from somewhere else... and most of the people I met who'd lived there their whole life were jerks. ...but I never really went that far outside of Hollywood so I can't speak for all of LA.
L o L !!
Thanks!