HarveyCanal"a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
Completely random and inappropriate reference points like that pretty much give away that the author has only ever heard maybe five rap albums.
How does the following reference-intensive review of a Roots show stand up to the above cirtiticism?
Poorly. Good math, bad writing.
Plaese to expound.
Actually, let me amend that, as I was answering a different question: In terms of the above criticism, it stands up very well.
But it's still bad writing?
I could see that. I made a choice at the time to try to educate the Becky-types who were at the show on what they were actually hearing. Therefore for the most part style went out the window in favor of jam-packing it with information.
I could have written about the ~8 dudes who were openly passing a giant houka around for the entirety of the show, but that would only placate the hacky-sack contingent who instead needed to learn themselves something.
I don't get enough feedback on my writing, so thanks for playing along.
Well, good writing of this type should do two things: 1) Explain what's going on, and 2) explain why the reader should care that it's happening at all and why they should care whether it's being done poorly or being done well. That first part concerns the factual and will be of more interest to folks who already know what they're looking at; the latter part is more visceral, is what gives the writing heart, and is the part that should be emphasized in the interests of reaching the ain't-knowing and/or the ain't-caring.
Your review exists almost entirely in the realm of the former: It???s a pretty unrelenting tick-tock of this-happened-and-then-this-happened, with little opinion voiced, and very few descriptions that aren???t predicated on the reader???s prior knowledge of a specific song or artist. It???s referential to the point of exclusivity, and ends up being somewhat self-canceling; that is, I can???t really see all those particulars lighting a fire under anybody except sample geeks, but sample geeks probably spotted most of that shit on their own (just ask whoever was standing next to them when it dropped; I???m sure countless nonconsensual ears got bent that day on some ???Yo, thun--you know what that is, right????). I mean, I can appreciate that you were trying to jam-pack it with information, but I think it suffers from that imbalance, and misses the folks you were gunning for.
I don't know. My thought is that only maybe 5% of the thousands of people in attendance would be able to ID 50% of of the songs I mentioned in that review. Black Magic Woman and Good Times...yes, widespread acknowledgement. It's Just Begun and Long Red...umm, sample geekdom specific.
Thanks again for dissecting the review like that though. I really appreciate it.
Man, I don't think the customers paid whatever price to listen to musical quotes. Granted, those who know these things might have had a richer musical experience (maybe not), but one thing's for certain: you telling them about these musical quotes post hoc isn't gonna make them reconnect back to that live musical moment.
HarveyCanal"a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
Man, I don't think the customers paid whatever price to listen to musical quotes. Granted, those who know these things might have had a richer musical experience (maybe not), but one thing's for certain: you telling them about these musical quotes post hoc isn't gonna make them reconnect back to that live musical moment.
It might be pertinent to know that that specific Roots review was from the 2004 Austin City Limits Festival. The Roots were the only rap act on the entire 3-day bill of hundreds of artists...so you can go ahead and assume the novice orientation of most of the attendees of the Roots performance.
But according to what you just posted, am I to assume that you are prescribing that I should from now on cease the practice of identifying songs played or alluded to during any live review that I write???
That makes no sense to me. Unless...how about I name song titles as I usually do, but write the review BEFORE the show actually happens. That way, novices could use it as a program guide to help them better enjoy what they might not have previously known about.
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I don't know. My thought is that only maybe 5% of the thousands of people in attendance would be able to ID 50% of of the songs I mentioned in that review. Black Magic Woman and Good Times...yes, widespread acknowledgement. It's Just Begun and Long Red...umm, sample geekdom specific.
Thanks again for dissecting the review like that though. I really appreciate it.
It might be pertinent to know that that specific Roots review was from the 2004 Austin City Limits Festival. The Roots were the only rap act on the entire 3-day bill of hundreds of artists...so you can go ahead and assume the novice orientation of most of the attendees of the Roots performance.
But according to what you just posted, am I to assume that you are prescribing that I should from now on cease the practice of identifying songs played or alluded to during any live review that I write???
That makes no sense to me. Unless...how about I name song titles as I usually do, but write the review BEFORE the show actually happens. That way, novices could use it as a program guide to help them better enjoy what they might not have previously known about.