Groupie Love (Stories anyone?)
DeeRock
1,836 Posts
10. Condoms required when hooking up with a groupie. Yes, it's true. Shes kind of hot, totally absorbed in herself, and sweating sooo much her vagina smells like a leather factory. But shes helping push the vibe. You pick her up and she thinks shes falling in love. you're wrong. She was sucking on some progressive Djs wanker just last night at some other swanky club. That groupie your about to sleep with has slept with Dj's far worse than you, in fact, some of these guys might even be fat mobile bar mitzfah Djs. They shouldnt be called Groupies, they should be called Orificies. And be careful, females cant be tested for some sexually transmitted diseases!!! Especially ones who spend their paychecks on ecstacy and vodka.9. It's a DJ Booth. Not a runway for you to vogue on because you think the dj is coming home to fuck you in whatever whole isnt bleeding. Djs need to concentrate. If your gonna eat ecstacy and try and be social, chew on the table at the bar, not at the dj booth. Theres nothing worse then seeing some half ass bitch with no rhythm thinking the crowd is watching her when most of them are actually mocking you!! Drink some water bitch, your making a fool out of yourself.8. These records are my life. Dont pump your fist like its your favorite tune.You just want to get in my pants and suffocate my penis with your sandpaper gash.7. Remember groupies, although you think your capable of getting the dj off after his set. Chances are hes been drinking all night and has a severe case of whiskey dick. NOt to mention the fact that your a coke slut and theres no way your vagina is excreting any liquids unless its menstral time. Take a night off and eat some ice cream.6. Dont try and think you can make recommendations to a dj when your a groupie. Djs are professsionals in their craft and the last thing most of us wanna play, is "Sandstorm". And. Tiesto is a disgrace to DJ CULTURE AS WE KNOW IT!!! He represents the anti thesis to the TAZ mentality. And bitch, if you dont know what TAZ stands for. Search it on google you high school drop out.5.Groupies, dont try and get you and every hooker you know on the list of the dj whose dick you sucked the night prior. Especially at 6pm. Guestlists are turned in at 3pm.4.DJS!!! If your at an illegal warehouse party with lil to no electricity,(especially in LA) DO NOT let any potential groupie even whisper in your ear. It may be a trani-groupie, the worst of all kinds.3.Once again groupies, its 3am, go look in the mirror. It looks like the colagen in your lips is now being used as mouth peice for yout TMJ like symptoms. And if you dont know what TMJ is.....gooogle it.2.Remember Djs. Groupies usually have rave and club fliers on their walls. Its their one stop check list for all the djs they aspire to sleep with, or maybe already have. Also keep in mind, theres djs at after parties too, chances are she might be doubling up on the penis twice in one night. Some of these club groupies like to party on meth for days on end.1.Heres what some groupies think about when they are looking at the dj.(in no specific order):a. Is he looking at me?b. I love this song..(even though i have no fucking idea what im listening to.)c. I wonder if he will give me a drink ticket.d. His dick must be big.e. Anything is better than the time i slept with Paul Oakenfold and Tiesto. Listening to the longest progressive build up in the history of trance music 
Comments
DJ Tom Diaz
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=1124549
Seriously.
Someone's got some anger issues, methinks.
Don't take it personal, Oliver-- AwwwDamn thinks all Asians look alike.
On the reals, though, that top 10 above is a really bad look, for so many reasons.
you missed this one in the 'dudes with beards' thread. i kept checking SS every hour last nite to see if you caught that
but yeah what do i know, diane called me white
here's a cocktail napkin to compare
Cracka-ass cracka!
So yeah, that list...a terrible, terrible look.
Woo!