FUCK BOB SINCLAR, IPODS AND SWEDISH EXCH. STUDENTS
soulmarcosa 4,296 Posts
edited April 2006 in Strut Central
Tonight I DJ'd what I thought would be a huge party for these two Indian girls who were doing a "benefit" to pay their way to Africa to teach kids about HIV. Personally I think the $3000 they tried to raise would have been better spent training someone who already lived in Africa but hey, far be it from me to determine the disease prevention policy for someone all the way around the world. At least I got paid.In any event, almost nobody showed up except a group of Arabic types who requested Arabic & Persian music, and a few random people requesting hiphop, reggaeton, and dancehall. No problem. I kept them happy, and one of the Arabic dudes even gave me his business card because he was a party promoter and was impressed with my Indian selections enough to throw some gigs my way.Then the Swedish (and other) exchange students showed up.Within minutes, one came up to me."Do you have any Bob Sinclar?""No, just Indian and hiphop music tonight.""So you can't play Bob Sinclar?""No, I don't have it.""We would be really happy if you played it. Our friend is leaving for Sweden tomorrow and it's our favorite song.""Sorry, I don't have it. I'd play it if I did.""Okay so you can't play Bob Sinclar?""NO I DON'T HAVE IT," I said finally, and went back to DJing.Ten minutes later, another exchange student came up and I had the EXACT SAME conversation as above.Then ten minutes later, ANOTHER exchange student came up and we went through the Bob Sinclar rigamarole ANOTHER time. When he left, I figured that was the end of the matter. Of course, as all of us DJs know, there was no way that was the end of the matter.The first guy came back and said predictably,"We really want to hear Bob Sinclar.""I told you I don't have it.""Well I've got it on my iPod in my car. You could hook it up.""No, I can't do that.""Are you sure? You could just plug it into your system.""NO, I CAN'T DO THAT.""You could just plug it in and play it." "I CAN'T DO THAT.""You CAN'T do it or you WON'T do it?"I CAN'T DO THAT AND I WON'T DO THAT.""Oh come on," he said, replying with annoying song requester stock comment #487: "Nobody else is dancing to the music you're playing," gesturing to the people who were dancing to the music I was playing."PLEASE GO. I'M BUSY, I HAVE TO DJ.""But you could just plug it in.""LEAVE."Eventually he did.And of course the second guy came back and asked if I could plug in the iPod. After a heated conversation that was as equally pointless as the one just outlined, he left.But like some sort of unbelievably idiotic clockwork, the third guy came back and HE asked if I could plug in the iPod.By this time I was at my wits' end and basically yelled at the dude saying I told the other two guys I couldn't do it, and I wasn't lying to them or him. I even said I'd play the CD if he had it. But no iPod. Now it was last call, and I played the last song. When it was over, all three guys and their friends kept telling me "But you should play this Bob Sinclar! We love this song! It would be so easy for you just to plug in the iPod. Why do you have to be so negative? You're being a prick!"So I thought I'd try the "I don't go to your work and tell you what to do" approach. This always ends in success, right? "Hey man, where do you work?" I asked the first guy politely."What?" the 40-something man said."Where do you work?""Oh I don't work, I'm a student."In my mind, I was maniacally choking him.However, thanks to my zen-like even temper I was able to ignore the group and pack up my equipment as they badmouthed me amongst themselves. When they eventually left, the bartenders & I returned the favor and badmouthed them amongst ourselves.So, dear reader, I say to you now three things:1. Fuck Bob Sinclar. [fauxrillz] I don't even know who he is and I already know his music sucks. [/fauxrillz]2. Fuck iPods.3. And motherfuck Swedish exchange students.And another thing.4. Fuck Bob Sinclar.
FUK BOB SINCLAIR
two bit crystal waters swede ripoff with a Seal-like voice
FUK DAT SWEDISH TECHNO CRAP
dj marco = da realness
you rock for standing up to those folls
BTW here's that Arabic dude's website who said he wanted to hire me to spin sometime:
YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED TO BE PART OF THE LEBANESE CLUB SCENE
My favorite version of this tactic, as employed by a standup comedian i saw once:
(to heckler) "hey asshole! i am working right now, this is my job, you are interupting be"
"well, when you are at work, i dont come down to the bus stop and slap the cock outta your mouth now do i?"
(i guess in the advent of student dickheads, you could adjust 'work' to 'class')
Here's my Bob Sinclar anecdote :
Bob: How is it to have a black wife?
Me: wtf??? i tought you was into black music fool!!! And for your info, i didnt marry a "black girl". She's a woman, like any other woman. And i'm daltonian. You happy? Now never ask such a question again if you don't want to look like an asshole...
Bob: oh, sorry, i didnt mean to disturb your feelings...
ME: sorry i didn't mean to entertain you. Glad to leave your studio...fucker.
Needless to say, i charged him a silly amount of euros for vocals, which he didn't want to pay, but which he paid after some lawyer threat.
FUCK BOB SINCLAR!
In the future, just do like mad mats and always dj behind this sign (btw he is from sweden too!)
But i've had friends who went over to the states as exchangies and they behaved properly as ever so i need you to reserve your hate at least a little bit othervise i have to tell about the US exchangies we've had over here and it's not pretty i'll tell ya
Please tell us rediculous American exchange student stories.
Marco, you're such a prick, why couldn't you just plug in the ipod?
I gather alot of folks end up trying to throw in a request at APT even w/ that grown & sexy glass sign. Meat packing stock porfolios buys requests y'know..........
bob sinclar aka chris le french kiss aka mighty bop actually has a decent record or two, no lie. Them girls probably wanted to hear his more annoying CLUBBY hits. Yellow puts out some decent fronch house.
Tom & Joyce "Vai Minha Tristeza" (Bob's Le Mix) is heartily endorsed by me.
Oh not to be mistaken, i wouldn't have plugged the ipod either, Swedish people are bastards most of the time and can be super obnoxius, i would've played "i don't play that" by Shirley Brown and dedicated the song to them
Ok american exchange student stories then..
My friend who had been to USA for a year living somewhere outside Chicago i think had a the son from the family he lived with over to live in sweden, guy was a total jerk, looked like a amish hiphopper and made sneery comments about everything, never satisfied and real ugly, he also had a present for my friend, a leather jacket that was so ugly the clocks stopped that he later adimtted to had gotten as a present earlier but didn't want it, he also stole one of my beers while out in a club and made a pass at my girlfriend, fuckwad..
Idiot number 2 had at least a very nice friend he brought for some time that was really nice and mellow but the exchangie was also a real idiot, one of those guys who makes a lot of noise and tells a lot of stories that ain't even half true.. he had a lot to say about older music that wasn't very friendly (he claimed he like rock music himself, i think it was those harder band where the singer has dreads) and thought most stuff you told him was "stupid" , he later challenged my brother to a drinking game that ended up in him passing out behind some trees, served him right..
Also met a lot of nice americans over here but they weren't exchangies so they don't fit the bill
Me & my boy are hanging at the caf?? where he tends the bar & handles the music sometimes. It is 01:30 AM.
Drunk American Exchange Student: Hey, you got that song by The Clash, Should I Stay Or Should I Go ?
Me: Sure thing, we'll play that later on, we just had Magnificent Seven ten minutes ago, sure, we'll play it.
DAES: No, The Clash, don't you know anything about music ?
Me: It's a caf??, we'll play any request you want, but we'll call the shots, okay ?
DAES: (angry) Stay Or Go !!
Me: You're annoying the hell out of us.
DAES: (slams the stool on the floor) STAY OR GO ?
Me: Please act normal or you're gonna have to leave.
DAES: (returns to his seat - ten minutes later he's at the bar again) Hey what about the fucking Clash ?
Gotta go with the Swedes on this one
Bob Sinclar's Paradise mixes do rock the fucking party, though.
Fuck Bob Sinclar.
Some local DC experiences:
1. DJing at Ozio's one night, spinning bhangra and uptempo Indian sounds, a really drunk blond with a thick German accent rolls up.
German chick: Do you have Asian Dub Foundation?
Me: Uh, I like them, but no.
German chick: Come on, play some Asian Dub Foundation!
Me: I don't have ADF tonight. This is a bhangra party.
German chick: Just play some ADF!!
Me: No, I can't.
German chick (screaming in my face): ADF! ADF!! ADF!!!!
Me: I'll see what I can do.
German chick leaves and I don't see her again. wtf??
2. DJing a crazy fashion show promoted by shady Russians at a Chinese restaurant. I think the "fashion show" was really a cover for an escort service run by a Russian woman. These "models" looked pretty skanky.
Anyway I'm spinning party tracks, hip hop, then switch to house. The Russians already gave me a few CDs of songs they wanted me to play, with the track IDs, but I hadn't worked them into the set yet. Then a crazy looking Russian, drunk off his ass, steps up:
Crazy Russian: What the fuck is this shit you're playing?
Me: What are you talking about?
Crazy Russian: This techno shit sucks! [I think a Daft Punk track was playing at the time.]
Me: This isn't techno, and I'm going to switch the music over in a bit.
Crazy Russian leaves. I start playing some of the Russian songs. It's mostly cheesy trancey shit with Russian vocals. 90% of the place goes nuts, except for the Crazy Russian. He comes back a little while later.
Crazy Russian: [right in my face] This shit sucks! Play some REAL music, not this Russian crap!
Me: [pissed now] Look, they asked me to play this. Back the fuck up.
Craxy Russian: We don't want Russian music, it sucks! Play some dance music!!
Me: Get the fuck out of here!
He leaves. Meanwhile I see some Russian military looking guy doing BACKFLIPS on the dancefloor. Man those Russian are nuts.
You shouldn't have put up with him that long...
Email I sent last night after this post:
Email I received this morning:
Do you have any Bob Sinclar?
Yes, they "positively" want the DJ to play their song.
BTW leolyxxx, I'm sure your American exchange student stories are far worse than any I could have; there's a reason for the phrase "Ugly American." And I have nothing against Swedish people. The Doris record is great!
Though I will say this: while DJing a Mod event last summer, during my set a guy came up to me with a 45 in hand on TWO different occasions and said, "Hey can you play this?"
Yep, you got it: he was Swedish.
Y'all got registered fast!
The new Stones Throw?
Yes! Let it be known that on this, the 27th day of April in the year of our lord, 2006, Soulmarcosa has demonstrated beyond all shadow of doubt that he is not, in fact, soft.
It seems inevitable now that marco will become a Sinclar fan as a result of this, and will in the future be able to deliver the Swedes' request
Dog you know how I do. My limited edition Bob Sinclar "I (heart) Sweden" iPod is already on order.
HELL YES! I never tried that. I'm going to do that next time. Go drastic.
I feel your pain, Marco. Damn, this post and DeeRock's heckling bitch post
are giving me too many flashbacks.
I usually hate when people want me to play their record, cd, ipod, whatever,
but I remember one occasion where it was cool.
I was playing with my friend Jacob at a club, and we were really on a roll that night,
spinning back to back one track each. The mood was lovely and the crowd was happy and dancing.
This guy comes up and asks if we can play Gwen McCrae "All This Love That I'm Giving"
(french housers Superfunk had just sampled it on a major hit).
He wasn't drunk, annoying or trainspotting, just a mellow music lover.
We told him we didn't have it with us, but we would have played it if we did (the usual excuse).
He says "ok, I'll drive home and get it so y'all can play it".
We were like "yeah, right", and kept on playing.
Half an hour later he comes back with the record.
We were stoked that he did that and of course we played it straight away.
It's a good tune and it fit the mood perfectly, so it didn't seem like a hassle or a defeat for us.