If I was to be murdered tomorrow - I would not want anyone who loves me to stew in anger and direct their energy to hating and avenging, but to concentrate on the good things and getting on with healing.
Not me. I better get my revenge. And people better be sad when I'm dead too.
Dizzy being silly brings up a slightly nuanced and interesting point. I would venture to say that our culture (America) is different from Canadian culture, regardless of how similar they appear at a cursory glance. In Albania, much of that society still roots itself in the concepts of blood feuds and vendettas stretching back many years in the past, that is considered normal there. America is a gun culture with its origins rooted in violence, destruction,anti-taxes and rebellion. Canada taxes everything and has a route of independence that is fairly different than America's. Even our National Anthem is rooted in violence, unlike our peace loving neighbors to the North (thanks Simpsons for referencing that!) Thoughts?
Dizzy being silly brings up a slightly nuanced and interesting point. I would venture to say that our culture (America) is different from Canadian culture, regardless of how similar they appear at a cursory glance. In Albania, much of that society still roots itself in the concepts of blood feuds and vendettas stretching back many years in the past, that is considered normal there. America is a gun culture with its origins rooted in violence, destruction,anti-taxes and rebellion. Canada taxes everything and has a route of independence that is fairly different than America's. Even our National Anthem is rooted in violence, unlike our peace loving neighbors to the North (thanks Simpsons for referencing that!) Thoughts?
These are greta oints. I never thought about Amerikka in that sense. Makes sense.
I take issue with the idea that if someone forgives they are somehow disrespecting the life and death of the victim. If I was to be murdered tomorrow - I would not want anyone who loves me to stew in anger and direct their energy to hating and avenging, but to concentrate on the good things and getting on with healing.
That's not what I meant. My emphasis was on the unapologetic aspect of, say, a killer. If the killer is unrepentant and does not seek an apology from the family of the bereaved, he/she does not, in my book, merit forgiveness (this is interpersonal and not about the Death Penalty or other legal ramifications).
If I was to be murdered tomorrow, I wouldn't want anyone to stew on my behalf, either - I'd want them to move on and find their own peace regardless of the fact that (as was my specific example) an unrepentant murderer likely doesn't give a shit about what he's done.
Now if the man or woman honestly comes around and asks for forgiveness, then I think that it's our saintly (for lack of a more appropriate word) duty to consider his plight and forgive him. I am a believer in the restorative power of forgiveness for both parties, but the offender's onus to initiate the process.
Related to this matter: I'm tired of current, fake-ass media "apologies." These popular lies run like this: The perpetrator addresses the wronged (and the public, via the media) like this: "I just want to get this behind me. I want to move on with my life."[/b] That's the kind of disingenuine bullshit that indicted CEOs stuff down the public's throats after they bilk 20,000 underlings out of their life savings. That's what sports stars say after they abuse their girlfriends and wives. This is also not contrition by any means; this is a lot of trash under the rug. I read this phraseology weekly in the papers from these cats, and it sickens me.
If I was to be murdered tomorrow - I would not want anyone who loves me to stew in anger and direct their energy to hating and avenging, but to concentrate on the good things and getting on with healing.
If I was to be murdered tomorrow - I would not want anyone who loves me to stew in anger and direct their energy to hating and avenging, but to concentrate on the good things and getting on with healing.
That's you, though.
So you would prefer that your loved ones forego concentrating on the good things and getting on with the healing, in favor of stewing in anger and directing their energy to hating and avenging?
If I was to be murdered tomorrow - I would not want anyone who loves me to stew in anger and direct their energy to hating and avenging, but to concentrate on the good things and getting on with healing.
That's you, though.
yes - i only speak for myself. i'm not sure what your point is.
do i expect everyone to feel like i do? of course not.
If I was to be murdered tomorrow - I would not want anyone who loves me to stew in anger and direct their energy to hating and avenging, but to concentrate on the good things and getting on with healing.
That's you, though.
So you would prefer that your loved ones forego concentrating on the good things and getting on with the healing, in favor of stewing in anger and directing their energy to hating and avenging?
Of course I'd wish them to move on, but what I want them to do has little to do with what they're going to do.
Comments
Not me. I better get my revenge. And people better be sad when I'm dead too.
Thoughts?
These are greta oints. I never thought about Amerikka in that sense. Makes sense.
That's not what I meant. My emphasis was on the unapologetic aspect of, say, a killer. If the killer is unrepentant and does not seek an apology from the family of the bereaved, he/she does not, in my book, merit forgiveness (this is interpersonal and not about the Death Penalty or other legal ramifications).
If I was to be murdered tomorrow, I wouldn't want anyone to stew on my behalf, either - I'd want them to move on and find their own peace regardless of the fact that (as was my specific example) an unrepentant murderer likely doesn't give a shit about what he's done.
Now if the man or woman honestly comes around and asks for forgiveness, then I think that it's our saintly (for lack of a more appropriate word) duty to consider his plight and forgive him. I am a believer in the restorative power of forgiveness for both parties, but the offender's onus to initiate the process.
Related to this matter: I'm tired of current, fake-ass media "apologies." These popular lies run like this: The perpetrator addresses the wronged (and the public, via the media) like this: "I just want to get this behind me. I want to move on with my life."[/b] That's the kind of disingenuine bullshit that indicted CEOs stuff down the public's throats after they bilk 20,000 underlings out of their life savings. That's what sports stars say after they abuse their girlfriends and wives. This is also not contrition by any means; this is a lot of trash under the rug. I read this phraseology weekly in the papers from these cats, and it sickens me.
That's you, though.
So you would prefer that your loved ones forego concentrating on the good things and getting on with the healing, in favor of stewing in anger and directing their energy to hating and avenging?
yes - i only speak for myself. i'm not sure what your point is.
do i expect everyone to feel like i do? of course not.
Of course I'd wish them to move on, but what I want them to do has little to do with what they're going to do.