TheMack's Advice Column

hcrink

OK, it's time we made this a reality. You posts a problem/question & TheMack will give you advice.**TheMack??? cannot be held responsible for any unfortunate events which may occur as a result of taking his advice, dawg.I'll kick this off...Ok, so, when I know I have like awesome records coming in the mail, I get super giddy & wait around for the mail to come everyday untill I get 'em. It's bad, I like get so I don't even wanna go take a leak cause what if the mailman knocks & I'm in mid pee & then he takes my raer back to the PO & I can't get it till tomorrow? that would suck!How should I deal with this, TheMack?

hcrink

TheMack

piss your pants then beat off on the mailman

hcrink

excellent. I'll pretend he's a soft taco.

don't sleep on 's advice, yo!

grandpa_shig

since when do you answer your door wearing pants? man, theyre making you soft up there.

the3rdstream

the_mack please help,

what do you do when your condom breaks?

Jonny_Paycheck

OK, here's my problem:

See my girl, like she's real pretty and cute and stuff. but she doesn't really get down in the sack, yo. Like, it's cool, but I like to get all freakydeaky and she's just not with it. What should I do?

Thanks,
JS

BigSpliff

OK, here's my problem:

See my girl, like she's real pretty and cute and stuff. but she doesn't really get down in the sack, yo. Like, it's cool, but I like to get all freakydeaky and she's just not with it. What should I do?

Thanks,
JS

Have you tried Ecstacy-laced nip clamps? on her?

the3rdstream

OK, here's my problem:

See my girl, like she's real pretty and cute and stuff. but she doesn't really get down in the sack, yo. Like, it's cool, but I like to get all freakydeaky and she's just not with it. What should I do?

Thanks,
JS

piss your pants then beat off on the mailman

TheMack

well seeing as that i poke holes in my condoms i cant give you too much help. butttt if one does happen to "break", take your dick out and rap it in saran-wrap, that should work

mandrew

themack,

i'm no superfly don during the daytime, but after a night of loving, girls fall head over heels for me. it's becoming a problem, whereas like i'm losing good ol booty call trim cuz they're in love and all shook up. this is leading to awkward relationships with ex-lovers, too many late night calls from girls who i'm done with, and problems with girls i'm actively pursuing. advice please.
peas

TheMack

this answer both jonny's and mandrews question, stick it in the butt. works for every situation

DJPrestige

i've been trying to get anal from my wife, but her response is: "you get no butt dawg." how should i approach this?

TheMack

when shes sleeping, tickle her butt with a feather so her butthole clenches real tight, then ram your needle sized dick into her anus

mandrew

this answer both jonny's and mandrews question, stick it in the butt. works for every situation

and one follow up advice question:

anal seems nasty & unsexy. never tried it. don't want to. should i just continue fucking virgins or am i really missing something?

DJPrestige

please leave my needle sized dick out of it, apparantly my wife has. plaese to tell more about your so called "the_macking" on females.

parsec

Dear TheMack,

I wanna learn how to fly. Not an airplane. Myself. I wanna soar like an eagle. Whats your secret?

Jeremy

TheMack

ehhh virgins can work, otherwise, when your bonin a girl, just make her cross her legs, you'll pop a blood vessell in your forhead guaranteed

picoandsepulveda

this answer both jonny's and mandrews question, stick it in the butt. works for every situation

TheMack

Dear TheMack,

I wanna learn how to fly. Not an airplane. Myself. I wanna soar like an eagle. Whats your secret?

Jeremy

crack cocaine usually works for me

Reynaldo

Dear TheMack,



I'm trying to help this chick overcome her fear of flying but I'm at a loss for ideas. Do you know of any surefire way(s) to overcome such a fear? I want her to see the world.



Jon

Danno3000

when shes sleeping, tickle her butt with a feather so her butthole clenches real tight, then ram your needle sized dick into her anus

Dude!

gloom

,

Is Santa Claus real?

TheMack

Dear TheMack,

I'm trying to help this chick overcome her fear of flying but I'm at a loss for ideas. Do you know of any surefire way(s) to overcome such a fear? I want her to see the world.

Jon

shes lying, shes not scared of flying, she just doesnt wanna pay for it. impress her with your gold plated visa and she'll go anywhere you want

Reynaldo

Dear TheMack,

I'm trying to help this chick overcome her fear of flying but I'm at a loss for ideas. Do you know of any surefire way(s) to overcome such a fear? I want her to see the world.

Jon

shes lying, shes not scared of flying, she just doesnt wanna pay for it. impress her with your gold plated visa and she'll go anywhere you want

Thanks, TheMack! I love how you see through the BS!

hcrink

TheMack,

What should I get the girlfriend for xmas?

-crink

NateBizzo

theMack,

I need an MP3 of the Theme song from the Golden Girls. Help me out. I'll hook you up. I'm serious. I need it for a mixtape I'm doing for my sister.




NB

gloom

theMack,



I need an MP3 of the Theme song from the Golden Girls. Help me out. I'll hook you up. I'm serious. I need it for a mixtape I'm doing for my sister.









NB

http://www.goldengirlscentral.com/downloads.html

Mel_Gibson

TheMack,

How can I get a 31-year-old divorc??e with a cold and wounded heart to love again? Should I just settle for sex?

Mel

drewnice

TheMack,

What should I get the ex-[/b]girlfriend for xmas?

-deenice

asprin

TheMack,

What should I get the ex-[/b]girlfriend for xmas?

-deenice

Drew...say it ain't so!