ever learn anything from a record?
knewjak
1,231 Posts
I've been through many fellow DJs crates and have noticed many 'self improvement', 'speak italian' or 'learn how to...' type records. I know they have them for scratch samples and what not, but Im curious if anyone has listened to these things and actually learned somthing from them. Anyone?
Comments
never get high on your own supply
Checklist for keeping your husband happy:
1. Firm and graceful body.
2. Be at home when he arrives. (If you must work, try to arrange it so you're home first.)
3. Clothes, sexy - for your evenings home.
4. Be interested in him and the things he does.
5. A good conversationalist.
6. A bright smile over morning coffee.
7. Nice voice (keep it soft and musical; also a pretty laugh.)
8. Excess fat (taboo).
9. Well-set hair (brushed and clean).
10. Mentally alert (try reading).
11. Pin-curls (if they are a must, pin up after the lights are out and wear a bed cap.)
12. Perfume - just for him, when he's home.
13. A regular manucure.
14. A weekly pedicure.
Exercise records are funny to me, but they always make for good spoken samples. Or this one from the 70's about dieting, and it teaches its listeners how to chew. Now that I didn't know.
Also, lots of good relationship advice in my rap crates.
I imagine there are several versions of that kind of thing around. My dad was a speech pathologist and special ed teacher, and my mom was a gym teacher, so they had those kind of instructional records around all the time. I learned LOTS from records, literally.
or like
or like
Which one?
A teacher of mine used to play it OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. To this day I have to go through the different rhymes for each number in my head when multiplying. I need to find all copies of that record, and lock them up in my wine cellar so no child will be subject to it ever again.
Some of my favorite lessons from rap records:
I ain't the type that gets all mushy
I like to sit back and watch them eat each other's pussy
You're lying on you're back with your head on the edge of the bed
The booty's two feet from your head
Should you:
A) take the time to find a condom
B) you walk right over and you pound 'em
C) tell her that you want her love,
Well the answer is D) all of the above
So you're freakin', the furniture's squeakin'
She's tweakin', sayin' that she's weak in the knees
Cheek to cheek, and pound for pound
You're taxin' it and waxin' it and workin' it around
'Til the booty starts makin' that clappin' sound
Which is cool, but your friends are chillin' in the other room
The clappin's getting louder, you don't want them to clown you
In this situation, what do you do
A) you, plain and simply, back up off her
B) you hit it just a little bit softer
C) you take it out and put it in het butt
Well, D) is what I do, so, yo, listen up
I put a towel on the floor by the two inch gap under the door
Now they can't see me any more
Check the locks so they can't clock, but they can listen
There'll be no bargin' in and there'll be no dissin'
Gettin' back to my mission
Break out the whipped cream and the cherries, then I go through all the fly positions
My head under her leg under my arm under her toe
She says "I like it when you scream, baby let yourself go"
I hit it and split it, lick it and quit it
After the ride, put my clothes on and walk outside
And before anybody gets a chance to speak
I say "Yo, don't say nuttin', I guess I'm just a freak!"
Yo, I like my power-U warm, study Islam
Play it off, if my wife call, you're my cousin Dawn
Drinking vodka, Absolut, sipping Tanqueray
Mc's jump off, I stung your rectum like a stingray
Girls heinie-wipe, MC's say my style is hype
Pussies relax, I'd rather fuck them with a cordless mic
I recently scored the French version, so now I'm learnig lots of French hockey teminology!
Another record I copped recently is called "Comment Parler au Gibier" ("How to Speak to Game Animals"). Know I know what to say to a moose if I meet one.
ever since I found it years ago. I would get rid of it, but who would buy it?
I would buy it for 50 cents to a dollar.
Which brings up an album on How To CB[/b], as in CB radio. In Hawai'i I always wanted a CB radio, I guess because it looked good in all the TV shows I watched. There were truckers, but they would go around the island, so I don't know what kind of conversation I would pick up:
Kalani: Hey Charlie?
Charlie: Hah?
Kalani: Charlie?
Charlie: Hah?
Kalani: CHARLIE!!!
Charlie: YEAH, I HEA. Wassup, bra?
Kalani: Ah, no mo nothin' for do, me just on the H-2 looking at panana leafs, like smoke but no mo money until next week, ah?
Charlie: Hah?
Kalani: Yeah.
Charlie: Oh.
Kalani: O' at least beeg kine money. Ey, you like go grind.
Charlie: I don't know, bra, I still gotta by diapas fo' my ol' lady.
Kalani: O' lady good for nothin'.
Charlie: Bra, you like her, I go deliva her to you right now.
Kalani: Where you at?
Charlie: I comin' out of Waianae, going into Ma'ile.
Kalani: Bra, go stay I goin' come stay go right dea.
Charlie: Hah?
Kalani: Yeah.
Charlie: Yeah?
Kalani: Yeah, go up to Makaha Drive-In, I pass you some smokes for latas, we go eat somethin' befo' we got to da kine again.
Charlie: Oh man, sound good. But I eatin' already.
Kalani: Bugga, what stop you from not going fo' some mo' kau kau?
Charlie: I tryin' for not be so momona.
Kalani: Bu lai.
Charlie: No, no bu lai. Ey, I stay right now down the street from where Chad ohana live.
Kalani: Who?
Charlie: Akebono.
Kalani: Now that bugga can eat.
Charlie: Ah. Eh, I goin' down by the Makaha Drive In, check see if my sista still workin' at da 7-Eleven cross the street.
Kalani: Shoots, I spock you den.
Charlie: 'K, den.[/b]
When I moved here, I found out I was in "trucker heaven", although I never got myself a CB radio, although I did learn a Volkswagen was called a "pregnant rollerskate".
my wife needs to read this shit.
Yep. My uncle used to work at PM&F, the warehouse that used to stock goods from the mainland, so every month he used to come over to our house (with his car) and bring boxes of candy, macaroni & cheese, etc. Fairly common. I don't think PM&F is there anymore (it was out at Sand Island). I guess it was the idea of being able to talk to someone, or hear a conversation and you had no idea who it was. It was not unlike finding someone with a short wave radio, and wondering where it was coming from. Perhaps as kids we were all naive, yet we found all of that fascinating.
That's a great cover. Looks like the doctor just came from kung fu practice. Could be Shock G.'s dad for all we know.
real strange cover. first time i saw it, i thought, this one _has_ to be a joke. could be some michael winslow (that human beatbox guy from police academy) single or something...
There we go.
I'll send you mine and then you'll have doubles. It's a blue cover, but I think it probably sounds close enough.
I already have doubles of "Weight loss through self-hypnosis"
I also have some language records but never tried them. They sometimes come with those circular paper verb finders, which I've hung onto for future use. Spanish and Italian so far.
did you try it?
Have quite a few children's rhyme and game/lesson records, as well as a small collection of story book records. I figure I'll save them for my kids. They're sample fodder in the meantime.
Oh and I've got a "how to improvise in jazz music" record, with instructions and stuff basically about how to solo, and the record has chord changes that you play over. I've been meaning to play guitar over that for sometime... but I just never get around to it. Plus I'm quite rusty.
I guess I have a bit of a fascination with spoken word records. I'll pretty much buy any one I come across in a dollar bin, no matter how stupid or simply boring the concept may be. I've always been interested in linguistics and speech, or just communication in general, so I think it stems from that.
Should take some pics and post up some interesting ones...
what the fuck. guy laFleur disco record? I must hear this. and if anyone knows what a good shot is, it'd be Guy. What is it exactly? him talkin about hockey over disco tracks?