older than jesus (Clubbup-related)

jamesjames chicago 1,863 Posts
edited April 2005 in Strut Central
This is a day late, but as it concerns a gentleman who used to perform under the name ???Buck Short,??? I???m calling it even.

A belated Happy Birthday to Clubbup, uno blanco pachuco rolling his balls through the Humboldt Park pachinko???someone old, looking for something new, on borrowed time, rocking powder blue, dodging harpoons and trying to avoid the street hassle on his way to his own private Florida room, where it???s Always Saturday. I???d like to fabricate some fantastical point of origin, but as is so often the case, Ruth is stranger than Richard: Dude actually (like, actually) lives at the corner of Crystal and Rockwell, which would only be the second-flyest address I???d ever heard, were it not for the bonus beat, which puts it over the top like your boy Sylvester Stallone: Yeah, just make a right on the street between the liquor store and the women???s clinic. Real talk.

More real talk, but this time from two ladies (overheard at a Mr. Terry Clubbup show. Actually.): ???Is he wearing lipstick???? ???No, I think his lips just look like that.??? ???Really? Hmmmm?????? (You kinda have to imagine that last part being said as approvingly as humanly possible. Like, approaching should-have-had-her-???Always-A-Lady???-t-shit-revoked levels). I think her name was "Maureena."

TCB is the fly in the ointment, staying the former, hopefully without needing the latter. Crunko-American advocate, transition-lens wearer, deer feeder, liquor drinker, showboater, and comforter of the lost and turned-out, the peach tree that grows a quarter-inch behind Young Cleezy???s fivehead perpetually drops like hot a bumper crop of strange fruit, but all you really need to know is right there in the Clubbuppington family crest: one side depicts a dog running free, and the other, a cat on a leash. Trilly yours.

In a world where they don???t use lemons to make lemonade, Clubbup???s got that actual Guatemala. Happy Birthday, bon bon vie, champagne for your real friends, real pain for your sham friends, and all that.

???This dude???s a gangster?! His real name???s ???Terrence???!???

Like wings, traveling shoes, opinions, and assholes, all God???s children have a Terry Clubbup story. What???s yours? (And before you reply, ask yourself: What has the truth ever done for you?)

Failing that, just post up some Friday Afternoon Party Patrol shit. Terry would have wanted it that way.


  • SexyBNyceSexyBNyce 371 Posts
    terrence clubbington is that fool!

  • champagne for your real friends, real pain for your sham friends

    Happy Birthday Terry Clubbup!

    (hears the sound of 1001 Soulstrutters jotting down "a lyrical assault from James" on their birthday wishlists)

  • chrischris 287 Posts
    lives at the corner of Crystal and Rockwell

    damn clubbup, i knew you lived nearby, but didn't know it was that close.

    interesting sidenote regarding that street corner: in the auto-biographical "my bloody life: the making of a latin king", reymundo sanchez describes how he gets set up and shot at by the boyfriend of a girl who was leading him on merely to kill him.

  • ReynaldoReynaldo 6,054 Posts
    Proper respect to the elder statesman.

  • dCastillodCastillo 1,963 Posts
    UNDEROO_BLUE is that dude. A true cast iron skillet--seasoned properly.

  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts
    Another day older and deeper in debt, huh? Happy b-day, Club!

  • Good giggly-wiggly, I just narrowly escaped being on the losing
    end of a game of grab-ass with the waitress at some fern bar, and
    now this?!

    A mozzarella stick is a cold, cold whipping post.

    Just wait till James birthday...we'll all lay in wait and catch
    him red-handed coming out of the video store with an armful of
    amputee clown porn videos...the clean versions.
    Then he will graciously offer to pick up the tab for 5 Westward Ho's.


    Notice there's no "P" in it.

    Rock the joint y'all, the next round is on me!

    [...sneaks out the back door...]

    I would like to say Happy Birthday to Sweet Long Dong Sicle,

    and APRIL FOOL to y'all who thought my Pope Stick went limp.

    Spread Love (reissue)

    Next time that Loggins and Messina comes on,

    just watch me as I promenade around the pool with my cousin Tammy:

  • luckluck 4,077 Posts
    the clean versions, James.

  • Jonny_PaycheckJonny_Paycheck 17,825 Posts
    This thread rules my throbbing... eh, later for that.

    Andy_Capable, happy born day belated. Send me some clubbup on the email!

    James, keep on rocking in the free world. And pocking in the brie world

  • dayday 9,612 Posts
    Happy Birthday Chachi

  • The spiders are spinning. It must be Spring.

  • djannadjanna 1,543 Posts
    Happy Bday Terry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • DCarfagnaDCarfagna 983 Posts
    Cavendish says, "What up squire."

    Terry (sans Melcher) closed the deal with this quote:

    "Security and catering are the fifth and sixth elements of Hip-Hop."

    Infinite Spirit Musings.

  • dCastillodCastillo 1,963 Posts
    Cavendish says, "What up squire."

    Terry (sans Melcher) closed the deal with this quote:

    "Security and catering are the fifth and sixth elements of Hip-Hop."

    Infinite Spirit Musings.

    **correction** 6th and 7th elements.
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