Funny Biz Markie stories and appreciation thread!

Big_ChanBig_Chan 5,088 Posts
edited January 2016 in Music Talk
Plaese to post all funny Biz Markie stories in this thread!

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  • DeeRockDeeRock 1,836 Posts
    Ok, I'm NYC at club Mars in the mid 80's and biz jumps up on stage and grabs the mic and tells Red Alert to stop deejaying. So he gets the clubs full attention and he says he got a brand new song and it's a really dope and he wants to perform it for everyone. So the whole club is sitting there wacthing him and it's all quiet and he is just standing there like he is thinking, then he said he forgot the lyrics! Fuckin' comedy.......... He drops the mic and walks off.

  • Not my own story, but I wish it were: I read an interview with Biz from some Canadian zine a few years back. He was buggin' on the different snack foods up there, in particular the Malt Vinegar Pringles. Of said snack, he said:


    "Yo, I killed them joints! I gotta get they autograph."

    I laughed for about two hours.

  • Big_ChanBig_Chan 5,088 Posts
    Phone rings one day about 6 years ago. First time I ever talked to Biz on the phone:

    Me: Hello
    Biz: What you got?
    Me: Excuse me
    Biz: What you got! Kung-fu movies man. Ca$h told me to call you about the movies.
    Me: Who is this
    Biz: Biz man! What movies you got.

    I then start to list off every rare kung-fu movie in my collection that I can think of. After every title I mention, Biz replies "Got it!" He then says get to the rare stuff man! We start talking about all kinds of kung-fu movies for about and hour and a half. Biz then says, "Gotta go, I'll call you back."
    Later that night I'm DUMB tired from work the day before and I'm sleeping early.
    Wifey comes in a wakes me up, she's holding the cordless phone. She has a confused look on her face and says "someone named Biz is on the phone for you, he said that you told him to have me wake you up if he called back and you were sleeping. He sounds crazy, is everything ok?" I never told him to have her wake me up. Dude is always on some comedy like this!

    More stories to follow, I'm only getting atarted and when Paul Nice jumps in on this thread it will be REALLY funny!



  • mylatencymylatency 10,476 Posts
    FIVE STARS

    BEST THRAED EVAR

  • SwayzeSwayze 14,708 Posts
    FIVE STARS

    BrEaST THRAED EVAR
    co-sign

  • Biz and I are shootin' the shit on the phone one day and his other line rings. he says hold on and clicks over. Then he comes back on and says "yo thes, you gotta be real real quiet when I click over again aight? don't say anything aight? just sit there and listen aight?" Then he clicks over again and now I'm on three way calling with him and some girl and he starts macking her up, but making little record jokes while he's doing it. I'm trying not to laugh but can't believe what I'm hearing. he's on the phone with her for like 45 minutes and convinces her to come through and "rub his back". Dude is the mack like that. She hangs up and he starts whilin' like See Thes?!! That's how you do it??!! Right there!

    What a guy.

    Another time we were performing at this festival in London. The line up on our stage was something to the effect of Supernat,De La, Jeru, PUTS, Ice T, Biz and a bunch of others. At the end of the show biz gets on the tables and opens his case to expose nothing but incredible ass original disco twelves, starting the set with doubles of an Apache 12 with a cover. In between going back and forth he's flossing the covers to the crowd. Ice T is standing next to me and goes "That Thits incredible." Then Biz stands (literally) on stage while the crowd sings all of the lyrics to Just a Friend. he didn't say a single line. DOPE.

    One other time Biz called me while Djing a midget convention in Canada. huh?

  • SIRUSSIRUS 2,554 Posts
    FIVE STARS

    BrEaST THRAED EVAR
    co-sign

  • CosmoCosmo 9,769 Posts
    Damn... that's some real crazy shit.

  • Big_ChanBig_Chan 5,088 Posts


    One other time Biz called me while Djing a midget convention in Canada. huh?

    That dude gets ALL the gigs. He called me from Black ski week in Colorado one time.


  • mylatencymylatency 10,476 Posts
    shit just got that much REALER

    respect

  • SIRUSSIRUS 2,554 Posts
    At the end of the show biz gets on the tables and opens his case to expose nothing but incredible ass original disco twelves, starting the set with doubles of an Apache 12 with a cover. In between going back and forth he's flossing the covers to the crowd.

  • parsecparsec 5,087 Posts


    The "funk is back" is my motherfuckin jam right there.

  • One more Biz story:

    One day I am expressing my love for the movie Beat Street to Biz and he's like:
    Yo, you know I tried out for that right? I auditioned for the "beatboxer" but they picked Dougie because he was skinnier.


  • I get a strange indecipherable message on my voicemail one day about 1 year ago. Kinda sounded like he might've said it was Biz, but I didn't know. I call the number he left on the message and sure enough, it is the great Biz Markie. Second time I ever talked to Biz on the phone:

    Me: Hello
    Biz: Who dis?
    Me: Yo, somebody left a message for Soulman the other day?
    Biz: Oh yeah! Whassup? (or something to that effect)
    Me: Who is this?
    Biz: The B-I-Z the M-aza-A! What you got?
    Me: What?
    Biz: What you got! Old school joints man. (Dusty Kid) told me to call you about the old school tapes.

    I then start to list off every old school tape in my collection that I can think of that he may not have. After every title I mention, Biz replies "Got it!" He then says get to the rare stuff man! I finally mention one that he says he "might could use". I tell him just come through next time he's in Philly. Biz then says, "A-ight, I'll call you back." Haven't heard from him since.

    when Paul Nice jumps in on this thread it will be REALLY funny!



  • cascas 1,485 Posts
    One other time Biz called me while Djing a midget convention in Canada. huh?

    hahaha!!

    the funniest shit to me that still has me rolling is his quote in "rakim told me" when asked to speak on "pickin' boogers", this is what the man said...

    "i wanted to do a record like that becuase i knew a lot of people that used to pick boogers. i used to know a kid named anthony hussey and he used to pick his boogers back in the day."

  • SwayzeSwayze 14,708 Posts


    One other time Biz called me while Djing a midget convention in Canada. huh?

    That dude gets ALL the gigs. He called me from Black ski week in Colorado one time.


    Hahaha.

    Incredible thread.

  • Biz IS the collector. Pez, lunchboxes, records, kung fu flicks and snacks. That's the realness right there. Plus he's nice with the fems. got a bunch of people out of their deals with sleeping bag, claims he discovered Stark Reality, and testifies he saw Rakim do the cuts on all the Eric B. and Rakim songs. Plus he got the Bell less Mardi Gras but can't find it right now.



    I'm looking for my answering machine tapes right now...

  • DeeRockDeeRock 1,836 Posts
    Yeah, he called me once and told me he was deejaying the Mike Tyson fight between rounds! For real though, how the fuck does he get ALL of these crazy ass dj gigs? Is it Monty or do people just go looking for Biz? There is like a party circuit and it seems like Biz or AM get every single big gig.


  • dayday 9,612 Posts
    Yo is it true he has a whole seperate house for all his collectilbles & records?

    I remember hearing somewhere he as a fucking room full of Barbie's???



    Dude is one of a kind.

  • True.

  • Big_ChanBig_Chan 5,088 Posts


    I'm looking for my answering machine tapes right now...

    Plaese find those and post MP3s!


  • parsecparsec 5,087 Posts
    Yo is it true he has a whole seperate house for all his collectilbles & records?
    I remember hearing somewhere he as a fucking room full of Barbie's???

    Dude is one of a kind.

    Yeah at the end of that ego trip book right?

    He names a few lunchboxes he owns on that list that I'm almost 100 percent sure don't exist but hey its the emma the emme the A so who cares haha.


  • F-it, I gotta so the hatters can respect his greatness. I know I ain't the only person that taped a Biz call because it was biz. Gimme about 30 minutes here...They were in the safe.

  • Great threat, drop some more anecdotes please!



    PS:
    From Bismarck to Biz Markie

    http://www.germanembassy-india.org/news/98july/gn07.htm

    funny...

  • pknypkny 548 Posts
    My lame Biz story: I only met Biz once in 98, when he was emceeing a comedy night in Poughkeepsie at an Irish bar that usually has shit hosted by DJs from the local classic rock stations. A buddy of mine worked as a bartender there, and he called my house to tell me the Biz was there shooting pool. My first thoughts was "WTF is the Biz doing there, usually it's 'win 2 tickets to see Skynryd' karaoke night at that place". At any rate, I show up at the bar and there he is. I drunkenly stumble up to him and shake his hand, but I got the vibe that he thought I was some yokel who only knew him from "Just a Friend".



    Another live story: He was scheduled to play the Tibetan Freedom concert at Randall's Island in 97. He was running late, and ended up going on last after BDP. He rolled up onstage wearing a dashiki and an afro wig, holding a blow up guitar, and then proceeded to do a vocal redition of Hendrix's take on "The Star Spangled Banner".



    when Paul Nice jumps in on this thread it will be REALLY funny!

  • Not a great story, but it's mine:

    Biz played a gig with a friend and I, and he had no headphones so he borrowed my friend's. Well if you've ever met Biz in real life you know just how gigantic dude's head is, anyway long story short he put the headphones on his big head and they snapped. These were good headphones too. He just kept playing with half of the headphones dangling over his shoulder, and never apologized! My friend was happy just to let Biz use them, so he didn't mind. Biz is a big dude, can't believe his huge cranium snapped those headphones.

  • Yeah, my man DJ Ca$h Money could REALLY tell y'all some funny ass Biz stories. But I ain't one ta gossip, so you ain't gonna hear it from me!


  • BsidesBsides 4,244 Posts
    How long till biz starts posting on soulstrut?


    THat would be the illest thing ever.


  • How long till biz starts posting on soulstrut?





    THat would be the illest thing ever.






    Will never happen. Last I heard he has never been on the internet.

  • FIVE STARS

    BrEaST THRAED EVAR
    co-sign

    man I think my stomach hurts from laughing
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