a bat in the fusking house?

djkingottodjkingotto 1,704 Posts
edited May 2010 in Strut Central
seems like this topic has been discussed before, but here's my version.i hear some people talking outside on the street which wakes me up at 3:45am. they started smoking something so i watched to make sure they weren't up to anything else and after they left, i went to the bathroom. i could reggie (the cat) getting into something and out of the corner of my eye flashed a grey speck. then it flew past me into the tv room. i shut the bathroom door and stood there staring into the mirror at a baffled, concerned and very tired otto. i could hear it flopping around and reggie chasing it. once the commotion died down, i came out and went into my room and shut the door. i laid there trying to think of what to do and trying to fall asleep when i heard some scuffling behind the record shelves in my bedroom. shit. i took to the couch and pretty well laid there wide awake for the rest of the night. how the fusk am i gonna get this thing out from behind the shelve and back outside?!?!?!?

  Comments


  • Hotsauce84Hotsauce84 8,450 Posts
    *insert YouTube clip of The Great Outdoors here*

  • The-gafflerThe-gaffler 2,190 Posts
    open the fridge, then hit the lights. bats are attracted to light. it'll fly in the fridge. then you close the door.

  • HorseleechHorseleech 3,830 Posts
    open the fridge, then hit the lights. bats are attracted to light. it'll fly in the fridge. then you close the door.

    ???

    Bats are not attracted to light - they're nocturnal.

    They might fly near lights at night, but only because bugs are attracted by light and they're feeding on them.

  • DustedDonDustedDon 830 Posts
    open the fridge, then hit the lights. bats are attracted to light. it'll fly in the fridge. then you close the door.

    did you just make that up right now?

  • djkingottodjkingotto 1,704 Posts
    open the fridge, then hit the lights. bats are attracted to light. it'll fly in the fridge. then you close the door.

    did you just make that up right now?

    sounds logical to me. that way the bat can make itself a sandwich, have a beer and die a cold, slow death while i post about asking how to get bats out of a fridge.

    i fear i'll have to push the records back to the wall and squish it. gross.

  • MurdockMurdock 542 Posts
    Broom Scare it out.

  • dukeofdelridgedukeofdelridge urgent.monkey.mice 2,453 Posts
    i can speak bat now

  • muggimuggi Reykjavík, Iceland 44 Posts
    Call Manu Ginobili.

  • RAJRAJ tenacious local 7,782 Posts
    We get one in the house like once a year.

    Just recently I had one swooping down at me while I was watching football and shit.... Scared the Piss out of me.

    In the past, we have waited for it it to hang on a curtain then trap it with a small garbage can (like one you'd find in the bathroom... then use a dust bin to keep it shut in and let it loose.

  • The-gafflerThe-gaffler 2,190 Posts
    You idiot! You can't catch a bat with a pot, moron. You take a mop and a broom...

  • BreezBreez 1,706 Posts
    Scream like a little girl until someone comes to your rescue. That always worked for me.

  • CinisterCeeCinisterCee 863 Posts
    where the fusk is BATMON??

  • highschemehighscheme 784 Posts
    when I was younger a bat came in through the chimney

    my older brother who was around 15 years older than me, got one of those wooden poles used to hang clothes on in the closet and basically played baseball trying to smash it

    it only happened like 1 or 2 times, but that's how we always dealt with it

    if you have a baseball bat that would be good too

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    you're going to need a partner dem - one of you to lure it out and the other to throw a towel or sheet on it and get it outdoors. if you hurt or kill it, the rest will come for your ass - trust me.

  • djkingottodjkingotto 1,704 Posts
    if you hurt or kill it, the rest will come for your ass - trust me.

    great, that's all i need is an army of angry bats.

    he's out on the sidewalk right now flappin' around with one wing.... which i feel bad for. man, those things make some terrible noises.

    he was behind a framed poster of seattle that i got from my grandma after she passed. in the hunt it fell and is now ruined. it was a 3 part mission and a complete pain in the ass, but he's out now.... ugh.

  • ReynaldoReynaldo 6,054 Posts
    Wait for it to starve to death.

  • highschemehighscheme 784 Posts
    lure it to your neck and while it is sucking your blood, attack

  • djkingottodjkingotto 1,704 Posts
    what i did was, i got a book of matches, binoculars, some tweezers and a book. i sat down and read the book, when he looked over my shoulder to read, i looked at him backwards through the binoculars, picked him up with the tweezers and put him in the matchbook.

    case of the cantankerous bat = solved.

  • AlmondAlmond 1,427 Posts
    I would have just called Animal Control and let them deal with it. Things that fly carry diseases. You're probably a vampire or something right now and don't even know it.

  • Hotsauce84Hotsauce84 8,450 Posts
    I would have just called Animal Control and let them deal with it. Things that fly carry diseases. You're probably a vampire or something right now and don't even know it.

    Ha ha! She said you SUCK, Otto!

  • AlmondAlmond 1,427 Posts
    It's okay, society glamorizes vamps.

  • djkingottodjkingotto 1,704 Posts
    I would have just called Animal Control and let them deal with it. Things that fly carry diseases. You're probably a vampire or something right now and don't even know it.

    nah, he never got to me. i'm a little worried about reggie though, he already stays up all night and sleeps all day, but he's been sitting there staring at me with this look....

    anywho, animal control is useless. they wouldn't come out unless i got bit - reggie didn't count. the last time i called them about a wild turkey in the middle of the road messing up traffic in an area that was fenced on either side. they said unless there was an accident, the turkey is on his own....

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,952 Posts
    Crucifix, holy water, bounce natural sunlight from the other side of the planet via a complex network of mirrors.

    Raas vampire will move on.

    Cillit Bang also good:

  • karlophonekarlophone 1,697 Posts
    you need this guy:

  • HarveyCanalHarveyCanal "a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
    you need this guy:

    Awesome, like the Graig Nettles of cats.

  • covecove 1,566 Posts
    ^^^^ HELL YEAH!!!

  • djkingottodjkingotto 1,704 Posts
    you need this guy:

    heck yeah man! not sure what my cat was doing as it was flying around my living room, but he doesn't catch air like that guy!

  • AlmondAlmond 1,427 Posts
    A cat named Reggie must be real bad-ass.

  • djkingottodjkingotto 1,704 Posts
    A cat named Reggie must be real bad-ass.

    he is. he fetches, runs to the door when someone knocks and has a lot of personality for a cat! his full name is "lil reggie noble," cause he rolls mad blunts. i think bats are lost on him though...
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