this one just came in yesterday. Somebody had dropped off demo CDs for their band, and they had a flier advertising a show at a local rock club. Now mind you, I work the equipment section at a predominantly house/club record store:
"What is a rock CD doing in here? DJs don't play rock!"
Bongos in London (RIP) used to get loads of comedy customers, being just off the main drag of Oxford St. The funniest being...
'You got any hip hop?'
Another classic, is the dad or relative in an underground record shop. 'Excuse me, would you boys have any records by Biohazard, it's for my daughter...' etc etc
Phone call from when I first opened shop in 1990. I'm looking for a song called Kokomo, do you know who recorded it? The Beach Boys. No this is a new song called Kokomo, do you know who recorded it? Yes, it is a Beach Boys song from a few years ago. No, this song is called Kokomo, I just heard it on the radio. Bermuda Bahama Come on pretty Mama? That's it! Do you know who recorded it? The Beach Boys. No this is a new song, is there another store that would know?
Was in a shop that specializes mostly in indie stuff, and a girl and guy are behind the counter chatting. They're talking about the Madlib "Shades of Blue" LP. The guy explains to her, "well, he's an underground hip hop producer, and Blue Note pretty much gave him unlimited access to the Blue Note catalogue". So she responds, "why the hell would they do that?!?", indignantly.
Phone call from when I first opened shop in 1990. I'm looking for a song called Kokomo, do you know who recorded it? The Beach Boys. No this is a new song called Kokomo, do you know who recorded it? Yes, it is a Beach Boys song from a few years ago. No, this song is called Kokomo, I just heard it on the radio. Bermuda Bahama Come on pretty Mama? That's it! Do you know who recorded it? The Beach Boys. No this is a new song, is there another store that would know?
Yes! This is my favorite! I can't tell you how many times customers would ask a question, only to not believe me when I gave them the answer...to whit:
"I heard this song, sounded just like the Beatles, I wonder if you know who it was"
"How did it go?"
"like, 'tell me that you got everything you want, and your bird can sing' "
"yeah, that is the Beatles"
"...mmm...no, I don't think so..."
"oh, yes, it is - it's on 'Yesterday & Today' but we don't have one right now"
"no, no, I think you're confused - it just sounds like the Beatles"
"NO. It's the Beatles. Written & sung by Lennon. Yesterday & Today. Side two, track one."
"mmmm...I think you may be mistaken on this one..."
Phone call from when I first opened shop in 1990. I'm looking for a song called Kokomo, do you know who recorded it? The Beach Boys. No this is a new song called Kokomo, do you know who recorded it? Yes, it is a Beach Boys song from a few years ago. No, this song is called Kokomo, I just heard it on the radio. Bermuda Bahama Come on pretty Mama? That's it! Do you know who recorded it? The Beach Boys. No this is a new song, is there another store that would know?
Yes! This is my favorite! I can't tell you how many times customers would ask a question, only to not believe me when I gave them the answer...to whit:
"I heard this song, sounded just like the Beatles, I wonder if you know who it was"
"How did it go?"
"like, 'tell me that you got everything you want, and your bird can sing' "
"yeah, that is the Beatles"
"...mmm...no, I don't think so..."
"oh, yes, it is - it's on 'Yesterday & Today' but we don't have one right now"
"no, no, I think you're confused - it just sounds like the Beatles"
"NO. It's the Beatles. Written & sung by Lennon. Yesterday & Today. Side two, track one."
"mmmm...I think you may be mistaken on this one..."
"So, are you going to buy anything?"
I can see why somebody thought it was not the Beatles. But why ask, then say no your wrong? Great song though.
Was in a shop that specializes mostly in indie stuff, and a girl and guy are behind the counter chatting. They're talking about the Madlib "Shades of Blue" LP. The guy explains to her, "well, he's an underground hip hop producer, and Blue Note pretty much gave him unlimited access to the Blue Note catalogue". So she responds, "why the hell would they do that?!?", indignantly.
You know, that's a pretty good question.
After what US3 came up with I guess they looked at Madlib and thought, "Well, he can't do any worse..."
Kinda cute late-twentysomething hippie chick was intently going through every single box of the local dollar bin recently, which was cool to see. She pulled Pitbull "Culo" promo 12"(!) in a stack of about 15 records, brought them to the cashier, and they started gabbing about how they were both starting to DJ.
Hippie chick says, "Well I just dropped about $400 on DJ equipment... so I figured I better get some records!"
I didn't know whether to hug her, laugh, or cry.
[color:white]...or tell her I could give her some "private afterhour DJ lessons." [/color]
"I'm 99.9% sure it's the original. That's why it's $40. I got it from someone with a box of them. There wasn't a reissue of this record when I got it, ten years ago."
"Well, how do you know?"
"I'm pretty sure. The labels, the cover."
"Well I have this and it is brown inside."
"I have had five copies over the years and none of them had a brown cover. I'm sure it's the original."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. If you find otherwise, feel free to bring it back."
"Well, I have it, I just want to know how you can be sure that it's an original."
Having worked in a record store for 7 years, I'm just no longer able to tolerate stupid record store questions. I switch off and zone out whe I dig, focussing on nothing but the subject matter at hand. It helps me to stay sane.
this was one time at ROCKET SCIENTIST when they were on west 4th,inquiring about some record but cant remember what record,the guy says to me:"DID YOU CHECK AT FATBEATS"
I went to visit a fairly well-known record dealer and he told me that that he had a ton of stuff that he thought I'd be interested in - so I take the trip down to see him and I'm finding all kinds of interesting-looking things, but not things that I necessarily recognise. Almost everything I pull out, he says, 'Well I don't know what that is either - I don't really think I should sell that - it *might* be worth a fortune'. To EVERY record I pulled.
It was like he was checking to see what I thought was hot, so he could pull it aside and slap a stupid price on it.
You're a fuckin' RECORD DEALER. You should be educating ME with the records, not vice-versa... It's not like I wouldn't have spent a wad of cash on things I wanted either.
I might try that 'finders fee' clause next time.
Then there's the dealer guy who calls me up, acting like a friend, asking all kinds of questions about 'Is this one rare?'. Being a fairly-honest kinda guy, I'd tell him what I thought and what I'd seen it go for before etc. Then when I see dude at record fair and I shake his hand and pull out some bits, he gives NO slack on prices. "Oh, is this one good - maybe I'd better price that up a little bit... or keep it myself..."
Dude, I just helped you price half of your fuckin' stack - gimme a break...
I learned the hard way - you just have to keep all info to yourself in this 'game'.
On the flipside, there have been plenty of guys who don't give a fuck about the 'going prices' and still hook you up to what they feel the record is worth. They get my repeat business.
I'm gonna shout out Ras at TSL on this one: dude has been nothing but good to me over the years. And there's another spot in London that continually has stuff priced excellently, no matter if they've seen the same thing go for ten times the amount on eBay...
dealer on phone: hey, man, i got this 45 in i think you might like. check it out. [proceeds to play blistering late-sixties funk instrumental i've never heard before.]
me: hmm. what is it?
him: [tells me title, label, artist] yeah, i don't know anything about it. what do you think it's worth?
me: no idea. i'd pay you $30 for it.
him: well, lemme think about it. i'll let you know.
hangs up. calls back 5 minutes later. says WELL, THIS GUY FROM GERMANY SAYS HE'LL PAY ME $700 FOR IT. HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT TO PAY?
Comments
"What is a rock CD doing in here? DJs don't play rock!"
Bongos in London (RIP) used to get loads of comedy customers, being just off the main drag of Oxford St. The funniest being...
'You got any hip hop?'
Another classic, is the dad or relative in an underground record shop. 'Excuse me, would you boys have any records by Biohazard, it's for my daughter...' etc etc
J
Used to work at a local used cd store with a bunch of old folk. A gentleman came in one day and said, "50 cent?".
The old curmudgeon I worked with replied, "nope I don't have any spare change, sorry."
Needless to say, I helped him find what he was looking for.
word, my girl posted that in my myspace comments, so I had to hijack.
Low-kay-shun!!
I'm looking for a song called Kokomo, do you know who recorded it?
The Beach Boys.
No this is a new song called Kokomo, do you know who recorded it?
Yes, it is a Beach Boys song from a few years ago.
No, this song is called Kokomo, I just heard it on the radio.
Bermuda Bahama Come on pretty Mama?
That's it! Do you know who recorded it?
The Beach Boys.
No this is a new song, is there another store that would know?
You know, that's a pretty good question.
Yes! This is my favorite! I can't tell you how many times customers would ask a question, only to not believe me when I gave them the answer...to whit:
"I heard this song, sounded just like the Beatles, I wonder if you know who it was"
"How did it go?"
"like, 'tell me that you got everything you want, and your bird can sing' "
"yeah, that is the Beatles"
"...mmm...no, I don't think so..."
"oh, yes, it is - it's on 'Yesterday & Today' but we don't have one right now"
"no, no, I think you're confused - it just sounds like the Beatles"
"NO. It's the Beatles. Written & sung by Lennon. Yesterday & Today. Side two, track one."
"mmmm...I think you may be mistaken on this one..."
"So, are you going to buy anything?"
"I looked on eBay, what's all the fuss? I didn't see anything interesting on there at all. What a waste of time."
About 3 years later all their prices had gone up and they're looking at eBay on their computer during the workday.
I can see why somebody thought it was not the Beatles. But why ask, then say no your wrong? Great song though.
Delay: "I think I'll get another beer. You?"
Paycheck: "Hells yes silent bob"
After what US3 came up with I guess they looked at Madlib and thought, "Well, he can't do any worse..."
Hippie chick says, "Well I just dropped about $400 on DJ equipment... so I figured I better get some records!"
I didn't know whether to hug her, laugh, or cry.
[color:white]...or tell her I could give her some "private afterhour DJ lessons." [/color]
"No, it's the original."
"I think it's a reissue."
"I'm 99.9% sure it's the original. That's why it's $40. I got it from someone with a box of them. There wasn't a reissue of this record when I got it, ten years ago."
"Well, how do you know?"
"I'm pretty sure. The labels, the cover."
"Well I have this and it is brown inside."
"I have had five copies over the years and none of them had a brown cover. I'm sure it's the original."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. If you find otherwise, feel free to bring it back."
"Well, I have it, I just want to know how you can be sure that it's an original."
"Motherfucker it's a fucking original."
guy throws the record back and storms off.
Sometimes you just gotta let the blood flow.
Guy who I worked with calls me and tells me he has bought a box of records, asking "how can i find out what they're worth?".
"Tell me what you got and I'll see what I can do"
"Ok. I got like every Osmonds record ever. Are they worth anything?"
"Not really. What else?"
"How about Firefall?
"That's a dollar record?"
"How about Starlight Vocal Band?"
"Look afternoon delight is great but that record isn't worth anything"
"THose guys sang Afternoon Delight. I gonna have to get a record player and put that on"
"ANything else?"
"Chess"
"Do you mean something on the Chess label?"
"No. It's called Chess."
"You mean the broadway musical"
"Looks like it"
"Listen, what is worth something is rare things. Stuff you've never heard of. Got anything like that?"
(10 second pause as he rummages through his box)
"How's about Bonnie Tyler?"
"SHe's really well known"
"Well, I never heard of her"
"Yeah, sounds like you bought a lot of late 70s stuff from someone's grandma"
"I get it 'bad hair cuts equals bad music'"
"You're starting to get the picture"
yeah but the label got PAID thanks to that US3 crap.
whomever convinced Blue Note to get Madlib musta been a marketting genius
"ok guys it's time to do another one of those remix sessions that always dissipoints the HEADS... i think this time we should aim for lower sales too"
customer: Do you know that Neil Young song that has a break in the middle and goes (makes guitar strumming motion) bwong twang twang ? (repeats)
clerk: (just gives an eat shit look) Neil Young has so many songs it's just not gonna happen......
I went to visit a fairly well-known record dealer and he told me that that he had a ton of stuff that he thought I'd be interested in - so I take the trip down to see him and I'm finding all kinds of interesting-looking things, but not things that I necessarily recognise. Almost everything I pull out, he says, 'Well I don't know what that is either - I don't really think I should sell that - it *might* be worth a fortune'. To EVERY record I pulled.
It was like he was checking to see what I thought was hot, so he could pull it aside and slap a stupid price on it.
You're a fuckin' RECORD DEALER. You should be educating ME with the records, not vice-versa... It's not like I wouldn't have spent a wad of cash on things I wanted either.
I might try that 'finders fee' clause next time.
Then there's the dealer guy who calls me up, acting like a friend, asking all kinds of questions about 'Is this one rare?'. Being a fairly-honest kinda guy, I'd tell him what I thought and what I'd seen it go for before etc. Then when I see dude at record fair and I shake his hand and pull out some bits, he gives NO slack on prices. "Oh, is this one good - maybe I'd better price that up a little bit... or keep it myself..."
Dude, I just helped you price half of your fuckin' stack - gimme a break...
I learned the hard way - you just have to keep all info to yourself in this 'game'.
On the flipside, there have been plenty of guys who don't give a fuck about the 'going prices' and still hook you up to what they feel the record is worth. They get my repeat business.
I'm gonna shout out Ras at TSL on this one: dude has been nothing but good to me over the years. And there's another spot in London that continually has stuff priced excellently, no matter if they've seen the same thing go for ten times the amount on eBay...
me: hmm. what is it?
him: [tells me title, label, artist] yeah, i don't know anything about it. what do you think it's worth?
me: no idea. i'd pay you $30 for it.
him: well, lemme think about it. i'll let you know.
hangs up. calls back 5 minutes later. says WELL, THIS GUY FROM GERMANY SAYS HE'LL PAY ME $700 FOR IT. HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT TO PAY?