Eurovision is the greatest spectacle on the planet. Especially now with the new Euro countries. I cannot express how utterly facemeltingly awfully great this whole clusterfuck of entertainment is.
i urge you all to tune in and try to comprehend what the F*ck is going on.
I think I posted either last year or the year before about the truly vicious and evil drinking game I traditionally play to aid the Eurovision spectacle (if you can still see by the halfway dance interval then something's wrong).
It's with great sadness then that I'm going to boycott it this year as no Sir Terry Of Wogan means no Eurovision for me. The man is Eurovision.
Wearing medieval chain mail suits Stilt bitch being spun like a whirling Dervish's skirt - strangely erotic Stilt bitches in general - it's the natural progression for high heel fetishists
The song...not so good.
Bring back the Finnish beelzebubb terrahawk metal band.
Basically each player chooses a country that they think will score well and a country they think will get null points. After every vote the player has to do a shot if a) One of their countries score 8/10/12 points or b) One of their countries scores Null points for the round.
Obviously if both their countries fall in these categories then they do two shots.
Sadly last time I played I found out that due to the additional countries now involved they just skipped the 0-8 points stage and went straight for the top three positions meaning that you had about 1-2 minutes per country to down your shots and move on. By the halfway stage two people had vomited and one person had passed out cradling the porcelain bowl.
Can someone please explain this awesome piece of euro culture?
200 eurotrash wannabies stride around a stage miming mindless drivel whilst being watched by a gang of fools and 10 million gays. Then a panel of Eastern Europeans decide that Lithuania wins. Terry Wogan feigns getting asshurt. Then at the afterparty Graham Norton gets literally asshurt.
Can someone please explain this awesome piece of euro culture?
200 eurotrash wannabies stride around a stage miming mindless drivel whilst being watched by a gang of fools and 10 million gays. Then a panel of Eastern Europeans decide that Lithuania wins. Terry Wogan feigns getting asshurt. Then at the afterparty Graham Norton gets literally asshurt.
Can someone please explain this awesome piece of euro culture?
200 eurotrash wannabies stride around a stage miming mindless drivel whilst being watched by a gang of fools and 10 million gays. Then a panel of Eastern Europeans decide that Lithuania wins. Terry Wogan feigns getting asshurt. Then at the afterparty Graham Norton gets literally asshurt.
Its like a step back to the 70s, its like waiting for Guffman, its like your gay high-school drama teacher was given an unlimited budget for this years school play, its like ex-communist countries raised on dodgy 70s/80s western pop culture putting on their idea of 'western entertainment' its like Borat in drag, its like the baptism of Zsa-Zsa Gabor and David Gest's lovechild officiated by Elton John with Andrew Lloyd Webber as the baby, its like a parrellel universe where ABBA reigns supreme and teh gheys run the world and after watching it you will never be the same.
Bring back the Finnish beelzebubb terrahawk metal band.
Do you mean Lordi? I got put up on them and in the process of finding Youtube clips, I saw their performance when they won this thing a couple years ago. Craziness. They're no KISS, and they're certainly no GWAR, but I'll take them over that crazy medieval cirque du Celtic Wyndham Hill opera trance any day of the week.
Its like a step back to the 70s, its like waiting for Guffman, its like your gay high-school drama teacher was given an unlimited budget for this years school play, its like ex-communist countries raised on dodgy 70s/80s western pop culture putting on their idea of 'western entertainment' its like Borat in drag, its like the baptism of Zsa-Zsa Gabor and David Gest's lovechild officiated by Elton John with Andrew Lloyd Webber as the baby, its like a parrellel universe where ABBA reigns supreme and teh gheys run the world and after watching it you will never be the same.
Wow. why noone published a book of your writings is beyond me. so on point.
this is the German entry. They did Oprah recently to get some of that US love. The producer went double platinum in Russia with his other song "Du hast den sch??nsten Arsch der Welt", translated meaning "You have the most beautiful ass in the world"...looks like the East likes Germany again. This is all beyond awkward, really...
Can someone please explain this awesome piece of euro culture?
It started back in the 60's (?) as a technical exercise across the Eurpoean TV networks to see if they could do a song contest in one country and cut live to a studio in each of the participating countries for their panel to vote.
Each country will have it's own presenter to explain what's happening to the "Local" audience. The thing is, the presenters are all familiar with the inherent naffness of the entries and take every opportunity to make sly digs at the efforts of the opposing nations. Well, that's what Terry Wogan does.
Most of the songs are truly, truly awful. Some countries will still award themselves and their buddies max points, others, esp. the French, love to award the english "Nil points" on the reg, regardless of what we submit. Mix in a little satellite delay, comical fashions and toothless-yokel nations taking it all deadly serious, and there you have it.
Whoever they chose would take it seriously, get psyched and pumped before the performance, have patriots laced around the audience shouting 'GO USA!' and thus completely F*ck up the whole vibe.
Whoever they chose would take it seriously, get psyched and pumped before the performance, have patriots laced around the audience shouting 'GO USA!' and thus completely F*ck up the whole vibe.
Whoever they chose would take it seriously, get psyched and pumped before the performance, have patriots laced around the audience shouting 'GO USA!' and thus completely F*ck up the whole vibe.
Whoever they chose would take it seriously, get psyched and pumped before the performance, have patriots laced around the audience shouting 'GO USA!' and thus completely F*ck up the whole vibe.
DB, this would be more in keeping with the Eurovision tradition:
You and Jackie Stallone doing a loungecore karaoke pastiche of a Depeche Mode song, whilst you lurch around leering-drunk and she gives you the ice grill for messing up the song.
Comments
i urge you all to tune in and try to comprehend what the F*ck is going on.
It's with great sadness then that I'm going to boycott it this year as no Sir Terry Of Wogan means no Eurovision for me. The man is Eurovision.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
This mans BBC commentary was the driest, most entertaining commentary of any televised event.
the man made Eurovision.
this is like Christmas without Santa.
Damn.
P.S: what was the game?
It won't be the same with Graham Norton though...
Wearing medieval chain mail suits
Stilt bitch being spun like a whirling Dervish's skirt - strangely erotic
Stilt bitches in general - it's the natural progression for high heel fetishists
The song...not so good.
Bring back the Finnish beelzebubb terrahawk metal band.
http://www.soulstrut.com/ubbthreads/show...ic=&Search=true
Basically each player chooses a country that they think will score well and a country they think will get null points. After every vote the player has to do a shot if a) One of their countries score 8/10/12 points or b) One of their countries scores Null points for the round.
Obviously if both their countries fall in these categories then they do two shots.
Sadly last time I played I found out that due to the additional countries now involved they just skipped the 0-8 points stage and went straight for the top three positions meaning that you had about 1-2 minutes per country to down your shots and move on. By the halfway stage two people had vomited and one person had passed out cradling the porcelain bowl.
I don't remember much after that.
200 eurotrash wannabies stride around a stage miming mindless drivel whilst being watched by a gang of fools and 10 million gays.
Then a panel of Eastern Europeans decide that Lithuania wins. Terry Wogan feigns getting asshurt. Then at the afterparty Graham Norton gets literally asshurt.
entry from local contest, gracefully they weren't choosen to eurovision semifinal contest.
Thats it, Skel for Moderator.
Is that an endorsement or precursor to TEH BAN?
its my written proclamation of man-love.
Do you mean Lordi? I got put up on them and in the process of finding Youtube clips, I saw their performance when they won this thing a couple years ago. Craziness. They're no KISS, and they're certainly no GWAR, but I'll take them over that crazy medieval cirque du Celtic Wyndham Hill opera trance any day of the week.
Wow. why noone published a book of your writings is beyond me. so on point.
this is the German entry. They did Oprah recently to get some of that US love. The producer went double platinum in Russia with his other song "Du hast den sch??nsten Arsch der Welt", translated meaning "You have the most beautiful ass in the world"...looks like the East likes Germany again. This is all beyond awkward, really...
Saturday is gonna rule.
Didn't Jarvis Cocker or someone enter some years back?
Whatever happened to that transsexual Israeli man/woman/thing?
It started back in the 60's (?) as a technical exercise across the Eurpoean TV networks to see if they could do a song contest in one country and cut live to a studio in each of the participating countries for their panel to vote.
Each country will have it's own presenter to explain what's happening to the "Local" audience. The thing is, the presenters are all familiar with the inherent naffness of the entries and take every opportunity to make sly digs at the efforts of the opposing nations. Well, that's what Terry Wogan does.
Most of the songs are truly, truly awful. Some countries will still award themselves and their buddies max points, others, esp. the French, love to award the english "Nil points" on the reg, regardless of what we submit. Mix in a little satellite delay, comical fashions and toothless-yokel nations taking it all deadly serious, and there you have it.
America is not in the Eurovision Song Contest.
But...
Lets play a game...
If they did decide to field an entry...
Who would it be?
And you know that.
Damn Americans and their "can-do" attitude.
See?
You and Jackie Stallone doing a loungecore karaoke pastiche of a Depeche Mode song, whilst you lurch around leering-drunk and she gives you the ice grill for messing up the song.
'Twould garner my vote.