Yeah I was with you until the last paragraph where you basically folded and told them "if you are not able to live according to the agreed-upon rules and my basic standard of hygene and cleanliness which is already really bare minimum, it's ok - I'll learn to live with it."
Fusk that.
ooh. cosine. didnt even see that. dont come with no weak shit, almond
I live with 4 other people. We set the following chores...
Kitchen Floors Bathrooms Living Rooms Trash
All of our names are on a rotating wheel... each week it moves one slot. Sunday is chore day because everyone is home. Pretty simple idea and works well if you hold each other accountable.
i'm so glad i no longer have to deal with roomates. if you can't afford to live on your own that's ok but why not find another roomate situation with like-minded people?
b/w
F*ck all that. don't waste time worrying about coming off as a bitch. If something is terrible don't pretend that it's cool, life is too short, and good things come out of being direct.
sample script:
almond to trife housemate: 'you are a straight slob'
trife housemate: ....looks shocked at this honest directness....thinks to self in shame and embarrassment, i have been called out. i better get downstairs and clean so that i can prove that bitch almond wrong, i don't wanna be known as a slob, she has attacked my abilities as woman to have my shit together! how dare she?? i will prove her wrong!!!
... as a woman i have seen it work that way. honest and direct works best. and you don't need to be a bitch either. you mentioned these girls had no structure in their households growing up and it has rendered them useless as managing adults. they have no self-discipline and they just think someone else is going to take the weight and it's really pathetic. and having heart to hearts and offering your tupperware is well meaning but it's more of the same and won't motivate them. no time for a little bluebird singing on your shoulder, be happy and get yours now.
i had a somewhat similar situation last week when a friend who has been complaining that she has gained weight was talking incessantly about it while drinking her 3rd Guiness and waiting for fried calamari to arrive. i said to her in a loving way... 'you have gained weight and you are gorgeous but you aren't taking care of yourself and you don't seem to want to do anything about it.' she stopped in her tracks but wasn't hurt at all, she looked relieved to have heard some truth. and guess who has been going running every day since and texting me to let me know about it. best way to get a girl in gear with anything is honesty. this advice only works among women btw, sorry. ok wait, actually everyone should be honest, i am just referring to this chick she probably would have been crushed to hear it from a dude, it was easier to hear from me as her friend and got her more motivated than hurt.
I live with 4 other people. We set the following chores...
Kitchen Floors Bathrooms Living Rooms Trash
All of our names are on a rotating wheel... each week it moves one slot. Sunday is chore day because everyone is home. Pretty simple idea and works well if you hold each other accountable.
"Oh, it's a great hat. Nobody's questioning the hat. I'll do the dishes when I pick it out of the chore hat and it's not a practice. See, there it is. But that was just a practice. The system works!"
Call their parents and ask them to come over and clean.....that's obviously who's been doing it for the last 18+ years so their sweet little angels wouldn't have to get their hands dirty and do some actual work.
If they say no tell them you're gonna send them a weekly bill for cleaning after their kids....heck, you may be able to realize $100+ a month from these spoiled brats Mom & Dad's.
this will end badly no matter what, you will never, ever, ever get these people to do anymore cleaning or be more ???tidy??? you just need to move out if you feel that it???s to messy for your personal, you can't change peoples bad habits just by asking, next time you get a roomate make sure they are clean..
Call their parents and ask them to come over and clean.....that's obviously who's been doing it for the last 18+ years so their sweet little angels wouldn't have to get their hands dirty and do some actual work.
If they say no tell them you're gonna send them a weekly bill for cleaning after their kids....heck, you may be able to realize $100+ a month from these spoiled brats Mom & Dad's.
i like this advice. call their folks or charge them for your time. or tell your folks to send you money and dont deal wiht these fools. personally, i love smokin up and doing piles and piles of dishes accompanied by some great music.
Big_Stacks"I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
I just heard some water running, so I assume that was some dish washing, which makes me happy. Thanks for the advice, Strutters. They haven't responded yet, but I'll let you know if they do.
Tough times kiddo. Lessons learned though. When you live with people they have to be somewhat like you. My wife and I are both moderate neat freaks but I have seen people far more severe than us with adherence to immaculateness at all times. I once lived with an old girlfriend who never put anything away. She was always primping herself, taking 2 hour baths, making her hair perfect and picking out what to wear and trying everything on. She was gorgeous but obsessed with herself. There would be huge piles of stuff around all the time and it made me really depressed, mainly because I began to feel like she wasted a ton of time, and it put distance between us. But if I were like that too it would not have bothered me as much. And I am glad in the long run because I wouldn't have wanted to end up with someone like that. Ok enough of my story. Just next time declare your habits first and see what theirs are.
After re-reading that, I concur (hence my deleted post) and apologize to anyone I may have offended. Still, lack of cleanliness speaks poorly of a person's conscientiousness which isn't a good impression to transmit.
Cool. To be clear, as much as I was responding to the graphic nature of the advice, I was responding equally to the advice itself. After calling someone out for being overly concerned with how others feel about them, to then say "...but make sure to keep your place clean so boys don't think you're dirty" is kinda fucked.
I think tripledouble's advice--about the benefits of not moving out, about working the shit out, and about its oblique benefit to the world at large--is pretty right-on.
And I have to say that "ive had bad experiences with chore wheels" is the most unintentionally funny shit I've read in a minute. I'm imagining it being said in a whispered, deeply shamed tone, perhaps while turning away from a loved one or a close friend.
I guess we just have to realize that any living situation has it's pros and cons. I love the girls I live with and they are some of my best friends. In my previous apartment, everything was spotless and nothing was ever out of place, which also reflected the fact that there was so much tension. My previous roommate in my dorm was friendly and clean and cool, but never talked to me and we just never "clicked." This is my best living situation yet, despite the trashcans we keep packing down to fit more stuff into.
I guess we just have to realize that any living situation has it's pros and cons. I love the girls I live with and they are some of my best friends. In my previous apartment, everything was spotless and nothing was ever out of place, which also reflected the fact that there was so much tension. My previous roommate in my dorm was friendly and clean and cool, but never talked to me and we just never "clicked." This is my best living situation yet, despite the trashcans we keep packing down to fit more stuff into.
Living w/bffs can be HOOARRD. You get the best and the worst. That said, some of the cleanest and most organized APTs I've seen are in SF w/3-8 people living together, who are not necessarily friends, but know how to stick w/a schedule and respect each other's space. Being in these places always have an awe/milagro factor for me- seriously, how the HELL do they do it?!
And yes, of course there's a hard core cleaning chart stuck on the fridge, and a house bitch who holds the bar high for clean upkeep! Not all the house bitches have been women either!!
Damn, come to think of it, I could kind of use a house bitch right now, my place is a mess.
i live alone, and at this point could only live with my girl, not house mates. havent read this thread at all.....but, my boys used to live together, and one of them was a slob. never did his dishes, so my boy would take all his dirty dishes that sat for weeks...and put them on his bed. everytime.
Trash cans/recycling bins (which I sometimes sort by hand as the other girls wonder "does it really matter?") are the biggest issue, because EVERYONE uses them, but not everyone empties them. Only 1 of the roommates has a dish problem. She'll make dinner or something and leave the pots on the stove for days, even over the weekend when she goes out of town. Plus, instead of covering them with pot lids, she covers them with plates, which looks ghetto and creates more dishes to wash. They all keep their own shit neat, though, and I'm not walking up a flight of stairs with dishes in tow just to put them on her bed. I don't go into their rooms without asking.
I've been piling up the pots next to the sink even if they have food in them, so that they look like dirty dishes. It makes it look messy enough to not want to eat the food in them, and leaves room on the stove for the rest of us.
i live alone, and at this point could only live with my girl, not house mates.
Word to Big Bird! What up Kon! I'm sayin', I live alone and keep my place CRAZY clean. OCD clean. Sterile hospital clean. I won't go to bed at night if there is even ONE dirty dish in the kitchen. It is relaxing and comfortable to have a REALLY clean place. Put on some dope disco joints and get to cleanin'! Almond, I hope your room mates get with the program and clean up your kitchen. That is MAD disrespectful when you live with other people.
Somewhat unrelated, but I went to a friend's house for the Super Bowl. His pad is a remodeled two flat in Chicago, with a very large attic. His land lady had told him never to open the door to the attic, likely due to a somewhat janky set of irregular stairs that could be treacherous if you aren't careful. So, of course he opened the door, set up a nice little "masterbatorium"-style getaway with a desk, computer, futon, a bunch of random collectibles and... about five month's worth of soda cans, beer bottles, cardboard boxes and newspapers.
It'd be just as easy, if not easier, to take the recyclables down the stairs and into the alley but he chooses to take them up the stairs. He rightly is skeptical of Chicago's recycling efforts but they're doing no one any good up in the attic. He isn't letting his lady up there either, an idea she doesn't seem to be protesting too tough, which baffles me all the more.
Comments
ooh. cosine. didnt even see that.
dont come with no weak shit, almond
I live with 4 other people. We set the following chores...
Kitchen
Floors
Bathrooms
Living Rooms
Trash
All of our names are on a rotating wheel... each week it moves one slot. Sunday is chore day because everyone is home. Pretty simple idea and works well if you hold each other accountable.
ferrari, yall must be both.
just playing. ive had bad experiences with chore wheels.
I can deal w/ clothes and shit around, but not doin the dishes and not takin out the garbage is bullshit.
b/w
F*ck all that. don't waste time worrying about coming off as a bitch. If something is terrible don't pretend that it's cool, life is too short, and good things come out of being direct.
sample script:
almond to trife housemate: 'you are a straight slob'
trife housemate: ....looks shocked at this honest directness....thinks to self in shame and embarrassment, i have been called out. i better get downstairs and clean so that i can prove that bitch almond wrong, i don't wanna be known as a slob, she has attacked my abilities as woman to have my shit together! how dare she?? i will prove her wrong!!!
... as a woman i have seen it work that way. honest and direct works best. and you don't need to be a bitch either.
you mentioned these girls had no structure in their households growing up and it has rendered them useless as managing adults. they have no self-discipline and they just think someone else is going to take the weight and it's really pathetic. and having heart to hearts and offering your tupperware is well meaning but it's more of the same and won't motivate them. no time for a little bluebird singing on your shoulder, be happy and get yours now.
i had a somewhat similar situation last week when a friend who has been complaining that she has gained weight was talking incessantly about it while drinking her 3rd Guiness and waiting for fried calamari to arrive.
i said to her in a loving way... 'you have gained weight and you are gorgeous but you aren't taking care of yourself and you don't seem to want to do anything about it.'
she stopped in her tracks but wasn't hurt at all, she looked relieved to have heard some truth.
and guess who has been going running every day since and texting me to let me know about it. best way to get a girl in gear with anything is honesty. this advice only works among women btw, sorry.
ok wait, actually everyone should be honest, i am just referring to this chick she probably would have been crushed to hear it from a dude, it was easier to hear from me as her friend and got her more motivated than hurt.
"Oh, it's a great hat. Nobody's questioning the hat. I'll do the dishes when I pick it out of the chore hat and it's not a practice. See, there it is. But that was just a practice. The system works!"
^^
dumpster diver techniques revealed !
I thought you said it only worked on women?
yes daze, just utilizing my option to clown tdub, he looks good with his hair in a bun but he is no girl
Haha... didn't read your post there bud... I'm actually neither
i have a feeling almond is gonna get riled up and deck one of those slobby jawns
I was just clownin
If they say no tell them you're gonna send them a weekly bill for cleaning after their kids....heck, you may be able to realize $100+ a month from these spoiled brats Mom & Dad's.
call their folks or charge them for your time. or tell your folks to send you money and dont deal wiht these fools.
personally, i love smokin up and doing piles and piles of dishes accompanied by some great music.
Lessons learned though. When you live with people they have to be somewhat like you. My wife and I are both moderate neat freaks but I have seen people far more severe than us with adherence to immaculateness at all times. I once lived with an old girlfriend who never put anything away. She was always primping herself, taking 2 hour baths, making her hair perfect and picking out what to wear and trying everything on. She was gorgeous but obsessed with herself. There would be huge piles of stuff around all the time and it made me really depressed, mainly because I began to feel like she wasted a ton of time, and it put distance between us. But if I were like that too it would not have bothered me as much. And I am glad in the long run because I wouldn't have wanted to end up with someone like that. Ok enough of my story. Just next time declare your habits first and see what theirs are.
Cool. To be clear, as much as I was responding to the graphic nature of the advice, I was responding equally to the advice itself. After calling someone out for being overly concerned with how others feel about them, to then say "...but make sure to keep your place clean so boys don't think you're dirty" is kinda fucked.
I think tripledouble's advice--about the benefits of not moving out, about working the shit out, and about its oblique benefit to the world at large--is pretty right-on.
And I have to say that "ive had bad experiences with chore wheels" is the most unintentionally funny shit I've read in a minute. I'm imagining it being said in a whispered, deeply shamed tone, perhaps while turning away from a loved one or a close friend.
Living w/bffs can be HOOARRD. You get the best and the worst.
That said, some of the cleanest and most organized APTs I've seen are in SF w/3-8 people living together, who are not necessarily friends, but know how to stick w/a schedule and respect each other's space. Being in these places always have an awe/milagro factor for me- seriously, how the HELL do they do it?!
And yes, of course there's a hard core cleaning chart stuck on the fridge, and a house bitch who holds the bar high for clean upkeep! Not all the house bitches have been women either!!
Damn, come to think of it, I could kind of use a house bitch right now, my place is a mess.
Method & Mrs. Meyers stuff helps ease the pain.
havent read this thread at all.....but, my boys used to live together, and one of them was a slob. never did his dishes, so my boy would take all his dirty dishes that sat for weeks...and put them on his bed. everytime.
I've been piling up the pots next to the sink even if they have food in them, so that they look like dirty dishes. It makes it look messy enough to not want to eat the food in them, and leaves room on the stove for the rest of us.
Word to Big Bird! What up Kon! I'm sayin', I live alone and keep my place CRAZY clean. OCD clean. Sterile hospital clean. I won't go to bed at night if there is even ONE dirty dish in the kitchen. It is relaxing and comfortable to have a REALLY clean place. Put on some dope disco joints and get to cleanin'!
Almond, I hope your room mates get with the program and clean up your kitchen. That is MAD disrespectful when you live with other people.
It'd be just as easy, if not easier, to take the recyclables down the stairs and into the alley but he chooses to take them up the stairs. He rightly is skeptical of Chicago's recycling efforts but they're doing no one any good up in the attic. He isn't letting his lady up there either, an idea she doesn't seem to be protesting too tough, which baffles me all the more.