31yo. Male and still a virgin..

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  • magpaulmagpaul 1,314 Posts
    'YouGetsNoButtDawg'

  • What do you mean "did all the work for you" Did what work for me? All you contribute are a list of negative remarks that you think I should take personal and feel bad about em? And some cliche one-liner that should "make me feel good"? Go choke on a piece of sushi or something man. If you got nothing better to add I'd suggest you take your hands off yer keyboard and wee-wee and back away slowly!

    Bye! :wave:

    look i did the work for you...despite the fact that you are a racist a-hole i did this so you would go away-this is even in holland. escort service for virgins discussed here on the strut. take your sorry ass to a professional ho.
    now as tripedouble suggested just above here:

    F*ck OFF

    http://www.soulstrut.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Number=869013

  • Go choke on a piece of sushi or something man.


    Oh no you didn't just make another racist comment to me ??!!

    Somebody Ban this dickless shit NOW please

  • I just read all 21 pages in one sitting.
    first off, tripledouble, almond, then mylatency's health advice, and doc mcoy have great advice for anyone in any situation, triple's and mylatency's first helpful posts are basically plans to get yourself out of any personal situation.

    first off, I REALLY FEEL FOR YOU. it sounds like you haven't had your mother's love. find your mom. this all started with her. you came out of her, and, at an adult level moving beyond your mother, with another woman is where you want to go most. Find your dad, if they are dead, imagine them in your room, and tell them everything, then imagine what they would say to you in the best possible scenario. if they're not dead, and you can't talk, do the same.

    now, you haven't had a woman's love, or care, which is pretty much the best thing on earth, better, than a random lay. and you can pay for both. but, both can be free too.

    here is the clearest action plan you can take, relative to what these people have said.

    you've told us who you 'feel' you are.
    Who are you really? like "who" are you?

    This is 'zero'----you start from here. Deciding who you are.
    zero stays still, nothing occurs, like a void. now, create meaning.

    move to 'one'----'one' has a purpose, a meaning for existance, there is a reason why you haven't killed yourself yet, though, I'm sure you've thought about.
    but instead,
    you cope, it sounds like 'eating' is your coping mechanism, that and masturbation are probably the 2 things in life that have brought you the closest to what you imagine 'pleasure' is. at least when you 'eat' something that tastes good, you can have that. same with masturbating.

    so, 'what do you live for?'

    why do you wake up everyday? instead of ending it all.

    EVERY DAY, in order, you: breathe every moment, in and out, then drink, eat, piss, shit, same thing, in and out, during hours of wakefulness. then you sleep, again, 'IN AND OUT OF CONSCIOUSNESS'
    at a functional level, sex is the same, beyond yourself, 'IN AND OUT' with someone else.
    these all prevent you from leaving your body and 'dying', and operate at these basic levels:
    1.)physical feelings.
    2.)emotions about yourself.
    3.)thoughts about yourself.
    4.)feelings and thoughts about things beyond yourself, people, places, material things.
    this is your every day.
    there are higher spiritual levels, but it sounds like you have little to no spiritual connection, if you do, you are likely 'mad' or 'angry' at whatever you feel 'God' is, that this lifetime for you is some type of cruel joke. so, let's not go there yet. suffice it to say, if God exists, ask for a 'SIGN' beyond all doubt, and look for it, every moment. I'm positive it will come your way.
    then you sleep.

    you do it all over again.

    EVERY f*cking DAY SINCE THIS HAPPENED TO YOU.

    there must be a reason why you havent' ended it all. killed yourself. it's because you have a reason to live. DECIDE WHAT YOUR REASON IS. WHAT YOUR PURPOSE IS. YOU'RE THE WRITER, DIRECTOR, PRODUCER OF YOU LIFE.
    make this your prime directive, whatever you decide it is. make it simple.
    IF GETTING LAID, IS YOUR WHOLE PURPOSE IN LIFE. THEN MAKE SURE IT'S GOING TO BE GREAT.
    SEX IS 2 WAYS, AT BEST, PLEASURABLE FOR BOTH PEOPLE ON ALL LEVELS.
    so you got your work cut out for you my man.
    TELL YOURSELF, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE LAID, YOU WILL BE THE BEST F*ck THE GIRL HAS EVER HAD, AND YOU ARE GOING TO DO IT ON YOUR FIRST TIME. A ONE TIME THING. you won't believe this at first. but tell yourself anyways, like a MANTRA. THEN DIE IF YOU LIKE, OR CREATE A NEW PURPOSE.
    here's a mock plan for you in order, expanding on what tripledouble, and later mylatency said, copy and paste what they said, print it out, and set it on your altar.
    PHYSICAL NEEDS:
    1.) start with pushups (at least 30 (start at 15, take a break, then 8, then 4, then 2, then 1) at first, this is probably all you'll be able to do until you get your strength up follow the same formula with, crunches, stationary squats, get a pull up bar, get a skipping rope, will cost you pennies, and do 20 minutes 5 days a week.
    check out scooby1961 on youtube. dude started when he was about 30, and check his physique at 50.
    2.) drink water, lots of water!, grean tea, cut out coffee if you drink. or reward yourself with it if you like and meet your physical goals.
    3.)again, go to youtube, and look up, 'healthy weight reducing diet' or some such thing. you'll find something. and follow mylatency's dietary advice on shake/smoothie.
    4.)order a FLESHLIGHT online, and start practising. cuz you got 18 years of pent up sexual frustration and are going to have to train yourself to handle a woman physically.
    5.)FInd a higher income, get a night job. I know, it's 'EASIER' TO SUPPLEMENT WELFARE BECAUSE IT'S FREE, AND YOU HAVE TO DO THE LEAST AMOUNT OF WORK, but, really, START working. MAKE SOME DECENT MONEY. not career wage yet, but, more than welfare with supplementation.

    EMOTIONAL NEEDS
    1.)DECIDE ON 3 THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF. THERE MUST BE SOME, OR YOU WOULD'VE KILLED YOURSELF BY NOW. WORK TOWARDS CREATING 7 MORE THINGS.
    IF NO ONE IN THIS WORLD LOVES YOU, LOOK IN THE MIRROR, AND FIRST, you'll find:
    disgust, self hatred, loathing, shame, guilt, fear, anger, then, you'll become depressed, and probably want to go eat, or masturbate, to deal with it.
    OVERIDE ALL OF THIS WITH: I will love myself. and I will be happy. EVEN IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IT. then change this to:" I love myself, I am happy, I have a reason to live, and it's up to me to accomplish it."
    2.) find another way to experience pleasurable feelings without food or masturbating. buy some essential oils, search online for which ones help with self esteem, and eczema, and self image. they are CHEAP. have baths with them. TURN OUT THE LIGHTS, LIGHT A CANDLE, AND ASK GOD FOR THAT SIGN.
    3.)SOUNDS like you're into music, go buy 'kind of blue' or 'giant steps' or ask, a strutter in a new thread for an 'easy to find cd that will uplift your mood and bring joy into your life'
    4.)go to a bookstore, and go to self help/health healing: close your eyes, spin around, and point to something, open your eyes, and buy it.
    5.)Imagine yourself, fit, healthy, happy, and confident, ACCEPTING your scars, because they make you you, and, HAVING SEX WITH THE GIRL OF YOUR CHOICE, and HER LOVING IT, AND YOU. DO THIS 3 TIMES A DAY, FOR 2 TO 5 MINUTES. MORNING, NOON, AND ONCE BEFORE BED.

    REMEMBER, YOUR CASE IS NOT UNIQUE. THERE ARE OTHER DISFIGURED, UGLY, HANDICAPPED PEOPLE THAT HAVE NEVER HAD INTIMACY OR SEX, THAT HAVE THE SAME FEELINGS, AS MENTIONED PREVIOUSLY WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR.
    EVERYONE ON EARTH HAS FELT THESE FEELINGS, SO FEELINGS ARE NOT UNIQUE. NOR EMOTIONS.

    MENTAL NEEDS
    1.)GET YOUR MIND ON YOUR SIDE. anytime you have a negative thought about yourself, write it down. on you computer, in a journal, do this for 5 days. you'll see, that mostly, they are the same negative thoughts that recycle themselves, playing like a loop, over and over again. BASICALLY, THEY'RE IN YOUR SYSTEM, YOUR MIND, AND BASED, ON YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT YOURSELF, AND ULTIMATELY, MANIFESTING IN YOUR BODY, as the you you see in the mirror.
    2.)write out the exact opposite of them in the most positive light. READ IT 3 TIMES A DAY, THE NEW THOUGHTS, THAT YOU'VE CREATED AS THE POLAR POSITIVE OPPOSITES TO THE OLD ONES.
    3.)create a mantra that you recite everyday "I am going to have sex with a beautiful woman who likes me for who I am, and wants to be with the new me"
    4.)see the new you again, and again.
    5.)remember why you're waking up everyday again, ask yoursefl everyday:
    "who am I" and "what do I live for?"

    RELATIONAL NEEDS.
    you've been given lots of good advice.
    1.)buy plants. if you can care for them, you can handle a pet.
    2.)buy a pet, a kitten, or a puppy, not a grown one, they will pull on your heart strings, and know they are totally dependant on you to survive.
    3.)buy some flowers. first, for yourself, become a master of which ones smell good, later, when you've lost weight, feel healthier and more positive, buy a rose every week, and give it to the prettiest girl you see. then, the ugliest one, because, you will understand how the UGLY ONE FEELS. because she probably feels about herself similar to you DO NOW. and wants someone to reach out to her.
    4.)GO TO YOUR WELFARE WORKER, AND PLEAD FOR FUNDING FOR PERSONAL COUNSELLING, TELLING HER YOU WANT TO GET OFF WELFARE, NEED HELP AND THERE MUST BE FUNDING FOR THIS.
    **********REQUEST A FEMALE**********************make sure it is an hour long session.
    if this doens't work, I PROMISE YOU THERE IS SOME TYPE OF free CRISES LINE, people to talk to, etc....look in your phonebook, or on line
    5.find a relevant support group, and go. search. it exists. no excuses.

    SPRITUAL NEEDS.
    1.)ask God for a sign. wait for it. look for it. look for it more. if you think it's a sign, but aren't sure, ask for another one that you can't doubt. begin a dialogue. you talk. wait for answers in the form of: events, signs on walls, random books, coincidence, infomercials, missed buses, opportunities, synchronicity (get with Carl Jung, a great mind from near your area) spoiled food, spilt milk, lightening bolts shattering your building, more trials and tribulations, grace----or direct voice in your head. Ask God to help you, if you can't ask another human being. but then, you basically asked the soulstrut massive. consider this a sign.
    2.)3.)4.)and5.) number "1.)" is all you need.

    when you've attended to your physical needs, emotional needs, mental needs, relational needs, give your self 6 months to see the changes. you will notice little changes every few months, some days will be good, most you will have to fight yourself over and over and over again.

    you have 100 trillion cells in your body, that replace themselves every 6 months. that's right. every 6 months you have a completely new body than you had 6 months ago. that means, that at 31, you've had approximately 62 different bodies, yet, they probably all look relatively similar.
    they follow a blueprint, contained in every cell, in your DNA homeslice, and how you, as a human being, manifest physically is based on every thought, every feeling, every bite of food, every moment of wakefulness or sleep, every drink, and every experience in this lifetime.

    All this, is the way to effect a change in the physical, material world. of course, YOU are much older than all of this, YOU have always existed and will always exist, in infinite forms. but one thing at a time holmes.

    good luck. I've spent 1 hour of time reading this thread, heard your case, so devoted 1 hour of my time writing this to you in the hopes that you follow what I say like a course in school, print this out. Put it on your wall.
    I don't know you personally, and you don't know me. so, if someone, and all the people on here who devoted their time to lift you up, and help, because, you asked for it, will do this for you, you will find at least ONE FEMALE ON THIS PLANET WHO WILL BE THERE FOR YOU EVERYDAY OF YOUR LIFE IF YOU MEET THE CRITERIA. She may not be the best looking, but, dude, the best looking ones are rarely there for you and ARE USUALLY MORE MESSED UP INSIDE THAN YOU'VE MADE YOURSELF OUT TO BE, more insecure about their looks, more insecure about their weight, their diet, and self image in general, than perhaps, even you.

    read the tao te ching and try and make sense of it. if you come to an insight about life, pm me.

  • DongerDonger 854 Posts
    I can't believe people are still giving this idiot airtime.

  • mylatencymylatency 10,475 Posts
    ^^^ THAT WAS THE GREATEST SELF HELP POAST IN ALL OF HISTORY, THRAED OVER. WYZEWAYZ IS DA BOMB. HE IS TRULY "WISE WAYS"

    If anybody, AND YES I MEAN ANYBODY LIKE DONALD TRUMP, BILL GATES, BRAD PITT TO ALBERT EINSTEIN TO ABRAHAM LINCOLN TO BARACK H. OBAMA stayed in their little "comfortable shell" and acted like a sob story who never talked to girls and never will, well....yeah, you'd never EVER get to "stick it to" a female, period.

    OK, ORANGE YOGABUTTHURT, THIS IS MY FINAL ULTIMATUM TO YOUR PREVIOUSLY 31 YEAR OLD SORRY f*cking ASS. YOU ARE NOW CHRISTENED A NEW MAN:

    JUST f*cking GO OUTSIDE AND TALK TO EVERY

    AND I MEAN

    EVERY

    SINGLE

    GIRL

    YOU SEE TODAY.


    DUDE, I DON'T CARE IF SHE IS 18 OR 81, MARRIED OR NOT, JUST DO IT. IF SHE IS SUPER FINE OR UGLY IS A NON ISSUE. JUST GO TALK TO THEM AND FIGURE OUT HOW TO TALK IN GENERAL. TAKE A f*cking PUBLIC SPEAKING CLASS, TOASTMASTERS, ETC. GET A RETAIL JOB AND START KICKING IT TO LADIES WHO COME IN, SELL THEM SHOES OR RECORDS I DON'T CARE, JUST f*cking DO IT AND GET OFF THIS BOARD. ONLY RETURN TO POAST WHEN YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY BEEN ON ONE DATE.

    I CALL FOR YOUR HEAD AND A BAN IF YOU DON'T DO WHAT WE HAVE ADVISED YOU TO, STARTING RIGHT NOW.

    TRUST ME, YOU WILL REPORT BACK A CHANGED MAN. I DON'T CARE IF THEY POUR A SODA IN YOUR LAP OR THROW AN APPLE AT YOU OR RUN AWAY, ONE OF THEM WILL ACTUALLY TALK TO YOU

    AND YOU WILL BE ETERNALLY CHANGED FOR THE BETTER
    AND YOU WILL THANK US
    AND YOU WILL HAVE A CHANCE
    AND YOU WILL LIVE LIFE THE WAY IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN LIVED YOUR FIRST 31 YEARS

    F*ck YOUR OLD "BOOHOO I'M A SORRY ASS UGLY ECZEMA DUDE" SELF

    DEALT. IT'S 2009, GET DOWN WITH THE OBAMA CHANGE, LADIES LOVE OBAMA, THIS IS A SUPER SCIENTIFICAL PROVEN FACT, NOT A THEORY.

    PS: LADIES ALSO LOVE GENUINE SMART FUNNY COOL NICE DUDES NO MATTER WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE. OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW????????

    (cue shooting star graphic and NBC chimes sparkle magic dust on the TV screen)


  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    im not reading all that blah blah

  • cadeauxcadeaux 208 Posts
    Can somebody please stop this thread? It??s ruining our lives.

  • SnagglepusSnagglepus 1,756 Posts
    What do you mean "did all the work for you" Did what work for me? All you contribute are a list of negative remarks that you think I should take personal and feel bad about em? And some cliche one-liner that should "make me feel good"? Go choke on a piece of sushi or something man. If you got nothing better to add I'd suggest you take your hands off yer keyboard and wee-wee and back away slowly!

    Bye! :wave:

    look i did the work for you...despite the fact that you are a racist a-hole i did this so you would go away-this is even in holland. escort service for virgins discussed here on the strut. take your sorry ass to a professional ho.
    now as tripedouble suggested just above here:

    F*ck OFF

    http://www.soulstrut.com/ubbthreads/showflat.php?Number=869013

    Jeezuz ... were you too busy writing a racist retort to notice the article about a Dutch escort agency specializing in working with virgins???!!!

  • rascmonrascmon 441 Posts
    *reads a fake post*
    *offers 300 pages of advice anyways*

  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts

  • Fleshlight

  • Make this thread a subforum. It's the only way.

  • LaserWolfLaserWolf Portland Oregon 11,517 Posts
    Is this thread still going on? Lets make it record related.



    What I have been think from the start, besides this is NZ Shadows, is:
    1) He will never find any one who thinks he is as ugly as he thinks he is.
    2) He will never find any one who hates him as much as he hates himself.

    Sorry.

  • LokoOneLokoOne 1,823 Posts
    Is this thread still going on? Lets make it record related.



    What I have been think from the start, besides this is NZ Shadows, is:
    1) He will never find any one who thinks he is as ugly as he thinks he is.
    2) He will never find any one who hates him as much as he hates himself.

    Sorry.

    Is it me or does Old Merrill look like he could be Mickey Rouke's dad?


    BTW On the topic of Ugly guys pulling girls. I was thinking, I dont think ive ever seen pictures of a good looking 'real life' pimp.... That Amercian Pimp doco that came out a few years back, if I recall, had some of the ugliest muthafuckers with a bunch of chicks not just f*cking them, but f*cking other dudes for money for them"

    So Orange, maybe you should become a redneck pimp.... pushing some of that good old aryan pussy!

  • Hotsauce84Hotsauce84 8,450 Posts
    im not reading all that blah blah

    ^^PREFERS COMIC BOOKS TO NOVELS^^

    Oh wait...

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    im not reading all that blah blah

    ^^PREFERS COMIC BOOKS TO NOVELS^^

    Oh wait...

    ^^Harry Potter Fan^^

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts

  • I'll tell you in the next life, when we are both cats.

  • nzshadownzshadow 5,526 Posts
    OK, im locking this puppy.

    OY: there is some mighty good advice here, i would read through it again.

    And one more racist remark outta you and ill ban you, c'mon dude: you know we don't tolerate that shit.
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