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Existential crisis strut...

kwalitykwality 620 Posts
edited October 2007 in Strut Central
So things haven't been going too swimingly for my girl and I of late despite seemingly pouring our heart and soul into everthing we do. We're both very seriously considering moving to another country to try our luck and would love some tips/advice on anyone who's done the same, and country recommendations.I know there are some real world move heads here so plaese to drop the knowledge. For what it's worth my father was born in the U.K, so I think that makes it a little easier visa wise over there. Having said that I'm not sure I want to be yet another Australian living in London. Thanks in advance!

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  • FrankFrank 2,373 Posts
    So things haven't been going too swimingly for my girl and I of late despite seemingly pouring our heart and soul into everthing we do. We're both very seriously considering moving to another country to try our luck and would love some tips/advice on anyone who's done the same, and country recommendations.

    I know there are some real world move heads here so plaese to drop the knowledge. For what it's worth my father was born in the U.K, so I think that makes it a little easier visa wise over there. Having said that I'm not sure I want to be yet another Australian living in London. Thanks in advance!

    I don't know what your background is so it's hard to give any kind of real advice.

    I would strongly suggest however that you do whatever possible to change things around for a better where you're at now and then leave for new shores. Otherwise you'd be too hard pressed to "make it" wherever you choose to go and moving back would be hard to impossible and feel like a failure.

    Leaving things behind that you're done with is great but things you want to escape from might end up haunting you wherever you go.

    Man did I just sound like an old fuck who's full of shit?

    Fuck it, just take a risk and go for it! I'd suggest the US before England though...

    (and naturally, that would be NY and nowhere else)
  • kwalitykwality 620 Posts
    Cheers man, I definately know what you're saying. The thing is a lot of things frustrating us are kind of beyond our control (family issues, money things, jobs etc) and it sort of feels like the right time. I'm totally against "running away" in the traditional sense, it's more a matter of extending our horizons and kind of making our own way. I mean we live here because we were born here, there's not much else to it really. NYC has always had a strong lure, I just hear horror stories about rent and visas. What's the job market there like? My background is writing/journalism/webmarketing.

    I have to say though I'd love to spend a chunk of my life in NYC... there's just something magical about it in my mind. I'm sure but there must be a good reason so many people find themselves there!
  • tripledoubletripledouble 7,636 Posts
    peoplefind themselves in nyc??? LOL
    people findthemselves workin too much and find out theyre broke!

    man,yall should go hitchhike across europe or america or africa or someshit cheap and fun where you will be exposed to humanity in an intense way.
    hike the appalaichan trail!!!!!
  • pcmrpcmr 5,591 Posts
    I understand what you mean man and leaving sometimes closes out some stuff to re-start a fresh however make sure to have a good plan heading into somewhere

    I found two things happend with my departure for brazil

    1-i felt excited about leaving there and had a destiny vibe to my destination which has been amazingly confirmed these past weeks

    2- It helped me get closer to the things I truly cared about and kinda brush off the bullshit that stuck with me and that was annoying my life..leaving that stuff behind was a great relief

    So start looking (i hope you find that good context/work combination) and work on changing your attitude/life around you where you are..

    dont rush the trasition or departure, being somewhere new with nothing settled may prove even harder


    best of luck man
  • parenparen 537 Posts
    quality characters produce quality narratives / lives. that is not to say that setting is moot, but instead to offer the perspective that it's important to migrate to a locale wherein you will have occasion for good dialog and interaction.

    in less than a month i am migrating to japan for an extended stay as my first stop on a long stint outside of the US. the mix of emotions and logistics that i am navigating in the weeks leading up to my departure have been... taxing. make certain that you are committed before you set a big change in motion; excitement / inspiration and fear are not mutually exclusive emotions. be prepared and good luck.
  • kwalitykwality 620 Posts
    It's funny you chimed in pcmr, as your post has played a small role in my current feelings! A good friend of mine who lived in Paris his whole life recently moved to Brazil and is doing great. He went from working in a school cafeteria to owning his own places and doing quite well.

    I know what you mean paren, and I think that's a good outlook on it all. We'll see what happens, I'm not in a burning rush, but I would like to start thinking seriously about it.

    Any other country recommendations? I'm down for just roaming around for a while but I do enjoy working and having a 'base'.
  • tripledoubletripledouble 7,636 Posts
    i left home for two years and traveled around like a vagrant. but it took me about 6 months to plan, tie up loose strings and go do it. it helps to have a little money saved up, or a way to make money while transitional. even a street hustle like playing an instrument or art can translate into less stress. a good curb hustle can get you $50-100 a day.
    have an idea of how you can make money wherever you go. foreign places usually have use for intelligent english speakers...thats a classic fallback.

    anyway...sounds like youre about to embark on a leg of your life you will never forget.brainstorm a list of things you want in this new stage and then shape your plans to make it happen. you got this!!!
  • hugh_lucerohugh_lucero 485 Posts
    I think the reality of upping it and relocating to London or NY (or somewhere else) from Melbourne is pretty challenging because it is so damn far away but its also quite likely to be super rewarding thanks to what you'll find when you get there. Obviously you'll be out of pocket a fair bit before you even get there, or get anywhere, and things may be contingent on finding that 'dream job' .. so I guess you need to ask, or figure out, are you going for the experience, and prepared to make compromises along the way (i.e sharing a house with 4 other people) or are you going to try get things to the next level across the board, career wise in particular?

    If you have a job lined up before you get somewhere and know at least a few people living in that place, it can make things a whole lot easier
  • kwalitykwality 620 Posts
    You're right Hugh... I think it's gonna be tough to do in any form. I'm not so sure about NYC, just because of how expensive it is (although right now we're paying two rents so things are already damn expensive - over 3k each month in rent) and I don't have much faith in visas etc. It's all a lot to think about, what I think I may do is spend the next 4 months trying my ass off with everything that we do and keep it as an option for us.

    We have 7k tied up in the shop as a bond, 3/4 of a good new car paid off, art, sneakers and studio equipment so we should be able to pull some money together, but I'm not so sure we just wanna blow all that just trying to set ourselves up in a horribly expensive place. Maybe somewhere mellow with a nice lifestyle, or somewhere cheap where we can just cruise for a while, or even somewhere random.
  • DrBorisQDrBorisQ 298 Posts
    Maybe you just need to travel around like a vagrant for a while to find a city you like, because it is almost impossible to predict if you are going to like a place without spending some time there first.

    I remember when i was traveling a lot of the cities i thought i'd like i really didn't, and others that i assumed i would just pass through turned out to be ones where i caught myself saying 'i could live here'.

    The 'soul' of a city is difficult to grasp from a far.
  • RishanRishan 454 Posts
    Hi, I wouldn't recommend the UK in all honesty. Things are so tough for twentysomethings I have no faith in the country anymore. Jobs for graduates, affordable housing etc is just not happening. The cost of living is insane and I'm not surprised so many people are leaving. I was having tons of problems with my gf/whole life situation in the UK that I had to do something.

    So we left to live in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia for a while because my gf is from there. It's a pretty good place to get your bearings and reasses your life which is what I'm doing right now. It's really cheap to live, rent and food etc. Actually Bangkok, Thailand is even better and cheaper, but Singapore is more expensive. And the girls that live along this axis, Bangkok, KL, Singapore are absolutely stunning. IMO the most beautiful girls in the world. Ok this is making the gf problem more serious obviously, so if you are having similar issues then its maybe not such a good move!

    Anyway sorry, totally irrelevant so back to the topic. If you want to chill for a while and just look around to see whats on offer, then I would advise this area of the world. I had some savings which will last for ages, and I'm doing book reviews for an english speaking newspaper. I think there are afew opportunities for good english speaking journalists/editors here, which is something I am also trying to pursue, even though I have no background/experience. I am so lucky this move came up becasue I am much much happier here than I was before.

    To conclude, SE Asia highly recommended, as its in the process of turning my life around. Also I shouyld add, the food is amazing
  • SPlDEYSPlDEY Vegas 3,375 Posts
    Leaving things behind that you're done with is great but things you want to escape from might end up haunting you wherever you go.

    Man did I just sound like an old fuck who's full of shit?

    More like a person who has learned from experience.

    - spidey
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