Blender Magazine sucks

WoimsahWoimsah 1,734 Posts
edited October 2007 in Strut Central
I never read it to begin with - but I was at the news stand today and saw an article about the 40 worst lyricists of all time. Wow.....the people who wrote this bad boy are A-class rectum heads. I mean I agree with a few....but Bernie Taupin? Common? Paul McCartney? Robert Plant? You can't really front on Sting either in the Police era....http://www.blender.com/guide/articles.aspx?ID=2882and jesus lord am I sick of these douched out magazines doing lists. ever since Maxim and frat boy magazines like it have blown up - that seems to be the new main format. shit sucks.
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  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    I never read it to begin with - but I was at the news stand today and saw an article about the 40 worst lyricists of all time. Wow.....the people who wrote this bad boy are A-class rectum heads. I mean I agree with a few....but Bernie Taupin? Common? Paul McCartney? Robert Plant? You can't really front on Sting either in the Police era....

    http://www.blender.com/guide/articles.aspx?ID=2882

    and jesus lord am I sick of these douched out magazines doing lists. ever since Maxim and frat boy magazines like it have blown up - that seems to be the new main format. shit sucks.

    They're confusing people who've written the odd duff song (or even couplet) with the kind of mediocrities who've built entire careers on peddling cliches. It happens a lot nowadays. I mean, I know that, as a lyricist, McCartney can be trite and cloying more than occasionally, but when you're singling out "Ebony and Ivory" as a representative sample of a body of work spanning almost half a century, you're officially reaching.

  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,025 Posts
    I haven't seen the issue but I did hear Jon Dolan on NPR, explaining the list, and they're based on ACCUMULATIVE songwriting, not just single examples of trite-ness.

    There's a lot about Blender that clearly borrows from their parent company (Maxim) but frankly, I'd rather read it than Rolling Stone. Their actual features really aren't bad and they edit better than most music mags I know.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    I've just had a quick run trhough the list and it's really not great.
    While I agree with many of their choices, having K-Fed and Timbaland reeks horribly of smug 'hipness'.
    Also, I really like their chosen lyrics from You're So Vain.

  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts


    there's a lot about Blender that clearly borrows from their parent company (Maxim) but frankly, I'd rather read it than Rolling Stone because they make me laugh[/b].

    Now I'm not saying they're the second coming of Creem magazine or anything, but even though I could barely give a damn about 95% of the artists they cover, the humor factor is what keeps me paying money for it every month.

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    I've just had a quick run trhough the list and it's really not great.
    While I agree with many of their choices, having K-Fed and Timbaland reeks horribly of smug 'hipness'.
    Also, I really like their chosen lyrics from You're So Vain.

    I like "You're So Vain", too.

    But on the real, they're granting K-Fed a dignity he really doesn't deserve by placing him in the company of a bunch of people, some of whom, for all their occasional shortcomings in the lyric department, have at least attempted to add something to the sum of human knowledge, wisdom and understanding. And let's be honest, selecting the lyrics of any artist whose music could broadly be described as "prog rock" for a list like this is like shooting fish in a barrel.

  • edith headedith head 5,106 Posts


    there's a lot about Blender that clearly borrows from their parent company (Maxim) but frankly, I'd rather read it than Rolling Stone because they make me laugh[/b].

    Now I'm not saying they're the second coming of Creem magazine or anything, but even though I could barely give a damn about 95% of the artists they cover, the humor factor is what keeps me paying money for it every month.

    i heart creem, i went on a collecting binge a few years back. i have never picked up a blender issue so i have no idea what's going on there.

    what do you think about HARP? someone suggested i'd be into it and i know jon wurster, one of my favorite funny people, is a regular contributor

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    I've just had a quick run trhough the list and it's really not great.
    While I agree with many of their choices, having K-Fed and Timbaland reeks horribly of smug 'hipness'.
    Also, I really like their chosen lyrics from You're So Vain.

    I like "You're So Vain", too.

    But on the real, they're granting K-Fed a dignity he really doesn't deserve by placing him in the company of a bunch of people, some of whom, for all their occasional shortcomings in the lyric department, have at least attempted to add something to the sum of human knowledge, wisdom and understanding. And let's be honest, selecting the lyrics of any artist whose music could broadly be described as "prog rock" for a list like this is like shooting fish in a barrel.

    Yeah this is the thing. I'd much rather read an article ripping apart the lyrics of people who consider themselves master songwriters than an article pointing out the shortcomings of Timbaland's guest spots.

  • You know what I hate?

    Frickin' Parade!


  • GambleGamble 844 Posts
    YOU'RE SO VAIN?!?!?!?!?? YOU GUYS LIKE YOUR'E SO VAIN AND THINK CALIFORNIA DREAMING IS A TERRIBLE SONG!

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    YOU'RE SO VAIN?!?!?!?!?? YOU GUYS LIKE YOU'RE SO VAIN AND THINK CALIFORNIA DREAMING IS A TERRIBLE SONG!

    Hey, whaddya mean, "you guys"? I like "California Dreamin'". And I love "Windmills of Your Mind" too - I got plenty of love for a little well-crafted 60's pop melancholy.

  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts

    what do you think about HARP? someone suggested i'd be into it and i know jon wurster, one of my favorite funny people, is a regular contributor

    Hmmm, it's okay. Their main focus seems to be folky alt-country types like Wilco. That gets boring too, but a magazine like Harp can be really refreshing on the flip side of trendier mags like Blender and Spin.

    In my mind, I keep confusing Harp with Paste (which has one of my fave writers, Ed Ward, who in the '70s used to write for all the rock mags, including Creem). Anyway, both mags seem to have that same adult-alternative, Wilco/Lucinda Williams/Josh Ritter focus (although Kanye West was a recent Paste cover).

  • GambleGamble 844 Posts


    Hey, whaddya mean, "you guys"?

    Retracted. Aimed at the Soulstrut maasive, not a fellow lover of honey-sweet sixties song-writing. Excuse me.

  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,473 Posts
    You know what I hate?

    Frickin' Parade!


    That damn Marilyn Vos Savant...she thinks she's so smart. Well if you're such a genius, how came you can't get a better job than writing a column for Parade? Huh?!?!?

  • You're so vain is brilliant. Its a song who's lyrics alone manage to work itself into a melodic logic loop (ala 'this statement is false') and rip a hole into the space time continuum. It condemns and validates vanity at the same time. Historians generations from now will reckognize this song as a forward thinking glimpse into man's abilty to be self aware and naive at the same time. It will probably even replace the pledge of allegience.

  • The last magazine I bought was Girls And Corpses. I couldn't resist. tis the season.





    How can you see that cover and not say to yourself "I need this."??

  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts
    You know what I hate?

    Frickin' Parade!


    That damn Marilyn Vos Savant...she thinks she's so smart. Well if you're such a genius, how came you can't get a better job than writing a column for Parade? Huh?!?!?

    Parade still exists???
    (old-person-magazine-I-associate-with-the-seventies related)

  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts
    You're so vain is brilliant. Its a song who's lyrics alone manage to work itself into a melodic logic loop (ala 'this statement is false') and rip a hole into the space time continuum. It condemns and validates vanity at the same time. Historians generations from now will reckognize this song as a forward thinking glimpse into man's abilty to be self aware and naive at the same time. It will probably even replace the pledge of allegience.

    Later for "You're So Vain" - "Wooly Bully" and "Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow" say more with far less.

  • DB_CooperDB_Cooper Manhatin' 7,823 Posts
    Well if you're such a genius, how came you can't get a better job than writing a column for Parade? Huh?!?!?

    Parade has the largest magazine circulation in America.

  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts
    Well if you're such a genius, how came you can't get a better job than writing a column for Parade? Huh?!?!?

    Parade has the largest magazine circulation in America.

    What about TV Guide?

  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,025 Posts
    Well if you're such a genius, how came you can't get a better job than writing a column for Parade? Huh?!?!?

    Parade has the largest magazine circulation in America.

    Co-sign. Those writers probably get paid like you cannot believe. It's not exactly Pulitzer-level journalism but its reach is scary.

  • The last magazine I bought was Girls And Corpses. I couldn't resist. tis the season.





    How can you see that cover and not say to yourself "I need this."??

    Is that a real magazine?

  • yes.

  • DB_CooperDB_Cooper Manhatin' 7,823 Posts
    Well if you're such a genius, how came you can't get a better job than writing a column for Parade? Huh?!?!?

    Parade has the largest magazine circulation in America.

    What about TV Guide?

    Parade is included in hundreds of Sunday papers throughout the US, and is far and away the circulation leader. For paid magazines, AARP The Magazine is #1, with TV Guide coming in a distant #13 with a circulation approximately 1/7 that of AARP. Their circulation was down over 50% in the second half of 2006, probably due to the rise of digital cable guide menus.

  • SoulOnIceSoulOnIce 13,027 Posts

    Parade is included in hundreds of Sunday papers throughout the US, and is far and away the circulation leader. For paid magazines, AARP The Magazine is #1, with TV Guide coming in a distant #13 with a circulation approximately 1/7 that of AARP. Their circulation was down over 50% in the second half of 2006, probably due to the rise of digital cable guide menus.

    And of course the key factor with both of the top two is that
    they are essentially FREE - Parade with most major Sunday newspapers,
    and AARP sent to any card-carrying member of the organization. I mean,
    I "buy" Parade all the time, simply by buying the Boston Sunday Globe -
    but that doesn't mean that I ever actually read it.

  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts

    Parade is included in hundreds of Sunday papers throughout the US, and is far and away the circulation leader. For paid magazines, AARP The Magazine is #1, with TV Guide coming in a distant #13 with a circulation approximately 1/7 that of AARP. Their circulation was down over 50% in the second half of 2006, probably due to the rise of digital cable guide menus.

    And of course the key factor with both of the top two is that
    they are essentially FREE - Parade with most major Sunday newspapers,
    and AARP sent to any card-carrying member of the organization. I mean,
    I "buy" Parade all the time, simply by buying the Boston Sunday Globe -
    but that doesn't mean that I ever actually read it.

    So after you get the "freebies" out of the way, THEN what is the biggest seller? That people actually buy intentionally?

  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts
    I never read it to begin with - but I was at the news stand today and saw an article about the 40 worst lyricists of all time. Wow.....the people who wrote this bad boy are A-class rectum heads. I mean I agree with a few....but Bernie Taupin? Common? Paul McCartney? Robert Plant? You can't really front on Sting either in the Police era....

    http://www.blender.com/guide/articles.aspx?ID=2882

    and jesus lord am I sick of these douched out magazines doing lists. ever since Maxim and frat boy magazines like it have blown up - that seems to be the new main format. shit sucks.

    ...though I can't lie, the lists that the Onion and (online only?) Cracked do are pretty funny.

  • yes.

    I need that.

  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,473 Posts

    Parade is included in hundreds of Sunday papers throughout the US, and is far and away the circulation leader. For paid magazines, AARP The Magazine is #1, with TV Guide coming in a distant #13 with a circulation approximately 1/7 that of AARP. Their circulation was down over 50% in the second half of 2006, probably due to the rise of digital cable guide menus.

    And of course the key factor with both of the top two is that
    they are essentially FREE - Parade with most major Sunday newspapers,
    and AARP sent to any card-carrying member of the organization. I mean,
    I "buy" Parade all the time, simply by buying the Boston Sunday Globe -
    but that doesn't mean that I ever actually read it.

    So after you get the "freebies" out of the way, THEN what is the biggest seller? That people actually buy intentionally?

    If I had to guess, I'd say Reader's Digest.

  • vajdaijvajdaij 447 Posts
    So after you get the "freebies" out of the way, THEN what is the biggest seller? That people actually buy intentionally?


    For paid magazines, AARP The Magazine is #1, with TV Guide coming in a distant #13 with a circulation approximately 1/7 that of AARP.

    edit - good point

  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts
    So after you get the "freebies" out of the way, THEN what is the biggest seller? That people actually buy intentionally?


    For paid magazines, AARP The Magazine is #1, with TV Guide coming in a distant #13 with a circulation approximately 1/7 that of AARP.

    And of course the key factor with both of the top two is that
    they are essentially FREE - Parade with most major Sunday newspapers,
    and AARP sent to any card-carrying member of the organization.
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