The Scariest Shit I've Ever Had To Admit

GuzzoGuzzo 8,611 Posts
edited September 2007 in Strut Central
so this morning I woke up with a hangover and some seriously dark thoughts. For those that have been kind enough on the strut to check up on me I'm ready to admit that I have a substance issue. Tonight I am attending my first NA meeting in the hopes of working on improving myself, and since I've always felt like the strut has been like my internet family I felt I had to say something on here. For all those who I've wronged either over the internets or face to face I give an early apology. The feeling within me right now is that of sadness, guilt and relief and I hope over time to become a better person without the dependence of drugs.Thank you to all who have rode with me over the last year and my weird as fuck issues, y'all are some seriously solid people who keep me believing in the kindness of man.t-minus 1 hour til I attend my first meeting-Adam
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  • jaymackjaymack 5,199 Posts
    good luck, brahhh!!!
    HOPE YOU can still puff the ganj.


  • GuzzoGuzzo 8,611 Posts
    good luck, brahhh!!!
    HOPE YOU can still puff the ganj.


    nah, the green stuff is all part of the issue, made some really stupid moves while baked. The weird thing is I never even liked smoking in public but found myself doing it anyways. For the last 2 years I've been driving around with a travel pipe, which, for someone who started puffing just to hear good rackords the best way possible in privacy was a very bad look.

    Not sure if I'm a weed addict or not but for now I need to kill my dependence on all types of shit

  • bthavbthav 1,538 Posts
    good luck dude. just hang in there. the hardest part is over.

  • Good luck, A.

    There's no turning back.

  • got you in mind, man.

    for real....

  • yuichiyuichi Urban sprawl 11,332 Posts
    Yo Adam, good to see you're taking steps to recovery. And just remember, all of this shit you're going through right now, can only help you gain perspective on so much shit you didn't experience first-hand. You can relate more with people who may have similar problems and help them out when they need it.

    And just remember, life is a marathon. It's about perseverance. Baby steps and believe.

  • I'm ready to admit that I have a substance issue.

    records?

    just playing. good luck guzzo

  • holmesholmes 3,532 Posts
    Good luck Adam, hope you have the strength to get through this.

  • yeah man good luck with that shit. Your a better man then me. I got my shit under control to a degree now, but was always to scared to goto NA or a consoler. I still think it woundnt be a bad idea, even though ive been off dope for a long time now.

    If you want to, post or pm what the meeting was like. Im interested.

  • Stay strong Adam.

  • Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
    so this morning I woke up with a hangover and some seriously dark thoughts. For those that have been kind enough on the strut to check up on me I'm ready to admit that I have a substance issue.

    Tonight I am attending my first NA meeting in the hopes of working on improving myself, and since I've always felt like the strut has been like my internet family I felt I had to say something on here. For all those who I've wronged either over the internets or face to face I give an early apology. The feeling within me right now is that of sadness, guilt and relief and I hope over time to become a better person without the dependence of drugs.

    Thank you to all who have rode with me over the last year and my weird as fuck issues, y'all are some seriously solid people who keep me believing in the kindness of man.

    t-minus 1 hour til I attend my first meeting

    -Adam

    Good luck, Adam. I'm rooting for you to succeed, bruh!!!

    Peace,

    Big Stacks from Kakalak

  • djsheepdjsheep 3,620 Posts
    Keep up hommie! Props to you for realizing the problem in yourself, thats the biggest step... Lets bump heads in LA...
    peace.

  • drewnicedrewnice 5,465 Posts
    Be good to yourself, Adam! You've got a lot of support, don't forget that.

  • AA, NA, and AL-ANON meetings can be emotionally draining, sometimes depressing. But they really do work if you stick with it.


  • catalistcatalist 1,373 Posts
    good luck dude....

    but guys , shouldn't you refer to him as "a***" ? that is the 'cool' thing to do around here, but his name is all up in this post.

  • drewnicedrewnice 5,465 Posts
    good luck dude....

    but guys , shouldn't you refer to him as "a***" ? that is the 'cool' thing to do around here, but his name is all up in this post.

    (Please see the original post)

  • noznoz 3,625 Posts
    I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY.

  • mandrewmandrew 2,720 Posts
    congrats on making these first steps, good luck on the rest

  • pacmanpacman 1,114 Posts
    Man bro, good luck Adam. Keep us posted. If you ever need to float to the desert, let me know.

    Paco

  • kalakala 3,361 Posts
    i smoked weed everyday since I was 14
    i quit cold turkey 4 months ago
    no NA no ,consulors
    if I can do it I KNOW you can

    its not that hard
    its the booze/hard drugs[which i didn't have a problem with]
    that will really fuck you up
    my only problem with the herb was that it was an all or nothing deal
    i couldn't just take 2 tokes and chill

    which equaled a minimum of 3-5 full big ass spliffs of the chron a day to the head=500 a month
    fuck that
    go man go

  • AA, NA, and AL-ANON meetings can be emotionally draining, sometimes depressing. But they really do work if you stick with it.

    ^ This is what I currently struggle with in my program as recovery is a fairly new concept for me as well. The only thing I can say is keep going...you may think these people are so much worse, not you at all, etc. (I am a ganj fiend that likes to drink more than I should, so I know I do) but that is part of your addict talking...the voice inside your head telling you you should go top this first meeting is the right one. All addicts think they are teminally unique, best of luck and keep going.

  • best of luck dude, stay strong

  • SPlDEYSPlDEY Vegas 3,375 Posts
    Hey Adam,

    That's real Big dude of you to come out and admit something like that. Seriously, I'm really impressed with how you handle your shit. You gained many levels of respect from me. You're dude of dude's in my book, and you always got some family in Vegas, man.

    - Diego


  • The Electrifying Mojo used to tell us in the Midnight Funk Association here in Detroit "When at the end of your rope, tie a knot, hang in there, the journey of a thousand steps starts with the first one".

    And as someone mentioned before, don't let a few strong personalities turn you away from meetings, don't let anyone chase you out of those rooms. The 12 steps are really the best thing going for addicts who want freedom.



    MCF

  • Massive props for making this admission to yourself, Adam, and taking the steps to get yourself on a healthier level. This experience will make you a better person no matter how hard the journey. Call me whenever man - just like everyone else here, I'm supporting you 100%.

  • nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts
    I have been down a similar road and i found that admitting to yourself that you have a problem is the hardest part.

    stay strong big fella.

    a.

  • LaserWolfLaserWolf Portland Oregon 11,517 Posts
    Nothing but love.

    I know you have been figuring this out for a while and have a real grip on where you are and where you need to go. I know you will get there.

    Dan

  • chasechase 767 Posts
    it maybe the hardest thing you will every have to do, but it will be worth it

  • GuzzoGuzzo 8,611 Posts
    Thank you for all the support, I'm glad you guys have shown such love and it feels incredibly good.

    I went to a NA meeting with a friend of mine who has been sober for 2 years, immediately after arriving he told me this isn't the place for me and we ended up at an AA meeting instead. It was really nice and one of the more beautiful parts of it was the talk about "living sober" going beyond drug use and not making dumb moves to replace your use. I can't tell you how much I identified with that.

    To all the people who have contacted me in the last day thank you, y'all are seriously shining stars and help me in remaining hopeful through all the bleak shit I've been dealing with

  • Birdman9Birdman9 5,417 Posts
    Good luck Adam, it takes a lot of nuts to stand up and admit a problem, big or small. It's gestures like that which help others to examine themselves and affect change little by little. Good luck with all this.
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