In law school we read a bunch of cases about guys who set up booby-traps in their house so that if someone trespassed, they would get shot.
my favorite is Bird v. Holbrock, 130 Eng. Rep. 911 (CP 1825) where the guy who sets up the spring gun in his tulip garden because people were stealing his "valuable tullip bulbs" (which apparently in the late 1700s and early 1800s tullips were like really sought after and expensive??) And the unsuspecting errand boy climes over the wall to retrieve a peacock that strayed into the garden and triggers the gun so it shoots him in the leg.
So, just out of curiousity, what do you own guns for if you don't ever intend to point them at anybody? Are they for those pesky raccoons that get into your trash?
Guns are for three things:
1. Family protection 2. Hunting dangerous or delicious animals 3. Keeping the King of England out of your face
a great episode. the shot of lenny in front of the big NRA backdrop at the first meeting is amazing.
and mo's testimony, "but i managed to, uh, shoot him in the spine. I guess the next place he robs better have a ramp."
bout 16 years ago when i was 15 i accidentally stuned myself. i was walking thru the mall parking lot on the way to my homies house. the stun gun had a clip on it like a beeper, i stuck my hand in my pocket for something ZAPPPPPP!!!! i remember i was standing there in the parking lot like why the fuck am i standing here in this parking lot?!?!?!?! oh yeah i'm walking to phils house. it hurt a lil bit.
lol, thats bout same period i was speakin on, those thing were hilarious, bigger bark than bite, classic...
the 2nd time i stunned myself was at work. me and ol phil worked at some crappy telemarketing place doin surveys(the only job we could get at the time). we sat in the cubicle like desks that were all connected together with metal. phil was on the phone and he was leaning on the desk, i figured i could use the stun gun on the metal and it would travel thru it and shock him while he was doin the survey. NOPE!!! the electricity bounced off the metal back into my hand.
1. Family protection 2. Hunting dangerous or delicious animals 3. Keeping the King of England out of your face
Too late...
Subject: BRITAIN IS REPOSSESSING THE U.S.A. Date: Thu, 01 Mar 2007 10:39:29 +0000
BRITAIN IS REPOSSESSING THE U.S.A.
In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.
A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
*To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:*
(You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary)
1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters and the suffix - ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up 'vocabulary').
3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of '-ize'. You will relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen".
4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.
6. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline), roughly at $6/US gallon. Get used to it.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as Beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in 'Four Weddings and a Funeral' was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a World beyond your borders, your error is understandable.
15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
16. An internal revenue agent ( i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.
So, just out of curiousity, what do you own guns for if you don't ever intend to point them at anybody? Are they for those pesky raccoons that get into your trash?
Guns are for three things:
1. Family protection 2. Hunting dangerous or delicious animals 3. Keeping the King of England out of your face
a great episode. the shot of lenny in front of the big NRA backdrop at the first meeting is amazing.
and mo's testimony, "but i managed to, uh, shoot him in the spine. I guess the next place he robs better have a ramp."
Definitely an episode full of great quotes.
"When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power...like God must feel when He's holding a gun!"
"Lisa, if I didn't have this gun, the King of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around. Do ya want that? Huh? Do ya?" "...no..." "Alright, then."
"I'd like your deadliest gun, please." "Aisle 6--next to the sympathy cards."
I also really like Moe's simple way of turning one gun into five guns.
and the name of the gun shop "Blood Bath and Beyond"
Oh yeah--that was freaking great.
"Sorry, pally, there's a three day waiting list." "Three days? But I'm angry now!"
when the shop owner hands him the gun to check out and Homer swings it around and then points it right at him and its like "click, click, click, click, click"
My friend owns a Glock and loves it. I've never heard anything bad about the Glock.
As for this whole obeying the law, it really won't matter if you have two pistols in your home: One cheap pistol to plant on the intruder after you blast him with the other.
My friend owns a Glock and loves it. I've never heard anything bad about the Glock.
As for this whole obeying the law, it really won't matter if you have two pistols in your home: One cheap pistol to plant on the intruder after you blast him with the other.
anyone have that pic of that one dude who had doubles of Stark Reality on his wall, and pointing two handguns into the camera while wearing a bandana over his face? talking about, "try to creep into the crib you get dealt wit" or something of that effect. that was
I don't own a gun, but I'd go to the shooting "range" (abandoned sand pit) and fire off several rounds with my gun nut friends, so I picked up a lot of info. He bought a $500 titanium Taurus snub-nose and a .50 cal in one month. Obviously, he was the only one manning the .50 cal so I got to shoot the snubby in the meantime.
It was a solid, quality gun. He liked it way more than his S&W.
In law school we read a bunch of cases about guys who set up booby-traps in their house so that if someone trespassed, they would get shot.
my favorite is Bird v. Holbrock, 130 Eng. Rep. 911 (CP 1825) where the guy who sets up the spring gun in his tulip garden because people were stealing his "valuable tullip bulbs" (which apparently in the late 1700s and early 1800s tullips were like really sought after and expensive??) And the unsuspecting errand boy climes over the wall to retrieve a peacock that strayed into the garden and triggers the gun so it shoots him in the leg.
anyone have that pic of that one dude who had doubles of Stark Reality on his wall, and pointing two handguns into the camera while wearing a bandana over his face? talking about, "try to creep into the crib you get dealt wit" or something of that effect. that was
That would be stavros in Orlando.
How many other rifle range running, multiple stark reality having, greek, record fiends are there?
Comments
Ha! Obviously you've never been hunting. As far as I can tell, hunting is all about shooting guns while drunk and stoned.
Evidently, we're all taught the same silly cases.
a great episode. the shot of lenny in front of the big NRA backdrop at the first meeting is amazing.
and mo's testimony, "but i managed to, uh, shoot him in the spine. I guess the next place he robs better have a ramp."
the 2nd time i stunned myself was at work. me and ol phil worked at some crappy telemarketing place doin surveys(the only job we could get at the time). we sat in the cubicle like desks that were all connected together with metal. phil was on the phone and he was leaning on the desk, i figured i could use the stun gun on the metal and it would travel thru it and shock him while he was doin the survey. NOPE!!! the electricity bounced off the metal back into my hand.
For a night on the town there is...
Too late...
Definitely an episode full of great quotes.
"When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power...like God must feel when He's holding a gun!"
"Lisa, if I didn't have this gun, the King of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around. Do ya want that? Huh? Do ya?"
"...no..."
"Alright, then."
"I'd like your deadliest gun, please."
"Aisle 6--next to the sympathy cards."
I also really like Moe's simple way of turning one gun into five guns.
Oh yeah--that was freaking great.
"Sorry, pally, there's a three day waiting list."
"Three days? But I'm angry now!"
when the shop owner hands him the gun to check out and Homer swings it around and then points it right at him and its like "click, click, click, click, click"
My friend owns a Glock and loves it. I've never heard anything bad about the Glock.
As for this whole obeying the law, it really won't matter if you have two pistols in your home: One cheap pistol to plant on the intruder after you blast him with the other.
Yeah! That's creative thinking.
Photoshop of D.H. with Rey's head on it plaese.
They're replacing the Beretta for standard police issue, and they aren't cheap, so...
Have you ever used a Taurus?
It was a solid, quality gun. He liked it way more than his S&W.
Ah, a classic--I remember it well!
That would be stavros in Orlando.
How many other rifle range running, multiple stark reality having, greek, record fiends are there?
Nice guy, but he does luv himself some guns!!
Seriously? Never had ANY issues with my sig. Actually really like it. No jams, no problems.