The current vogue term is USP - Unique Selling Point.
Alphabet Soup!
I was at the 3GSM conference in Barcelona last week and it was alphabet soup central. So annoying. Just say the fucking words you're trying to say! It's not a fucking text message... you won't strain yourself.
Dude...the InfoWorld style guide has 60 (count 'em!) pages devoted solely to the alphabet soup of the IT world. I swear some of these articles I edit look like a monkey pounded on the keyboard for a while, and then a human came and randomly threw in some verbs.
The current vogue term is USP - Unique Selling Point.
Alphabet Soup!
I was at the 3GSM conference in Barcelona last week and it was alphabet soup central. So annoying. Just say the fucking words you're trying to say! It's not a fucking text message... you won't strain yourself.
IKSRFO
Had to look that one up... classic
"I'm Knocking Somebody Right da Fuck Out!"(IKSRFO) - From Redman
Person 1: "IKSRFO!" Person 2: "What the fuck does that mean?" Person 1: "ImKnockinSomebodyRightdaFuckOut, YOU!" (SMACK)
Now can you find NASWIPP.
Crazy...that Redman tape has been my commuting music for the past couple days.
One of the best dialogue sequences in the show's history.
Marketing manager: We're talking the original dog from hell!! Writer: You mean Cerberus?
Crazy...that Redman tape has been my commuting music for the past couple days.
This was my commuting music last week.
I fucking hate meetings, but I went to some IT thing this morning at the a Hotel here in Richmond and they served us a really nice breakfast and only talked for like an hour. We have a weekly managers meeting here at work where most of the time my boss makes us re-explain every project we are working on like he never knew it existed.
I do not want to hear about so-and-so needing to have a come-to-jesus meeting with so-and-so ever again. Ever.
LOL. That gets dropped once, twice a week over here. I thought that was a Texas/redneck thing maybe. Guess not.
Co-signage.
What the fuck does it mean?
My understanding is that it means you're gonna hammer on someone who isn't doing what you need them to. Like say such-and-such vendor that works for you isn't delivering quality or their prices are too high, "We need to have a come-to-Jesus meeting with Joe's Drywall."
Top dawgs at my company say things like "Get 'er done." I shit you not.
The General Manager of my company recently retired. I was sad to see him go. He was a workaholic, fair minded and considerate person. Cared about his employees and the customers. Always went the extra mile.
We hired a friend of his to replace him. The guy, a 40-something white collar guy with a corporate attitude started yelling "beotch" after each conversation with him on the phone. He also started doing it in emails to me. I don't know why he all of a sudden started doing it. Maybe he felt it was endearing but it made me cringe. I was embarrassed for him.
We ended up letting him go for various reasons both personal and professional which I won't go into. Needless to say I was glad to see him go.
my boss makes us re-explain every project we are working on like he never knew it existed.
My boss is the same way.
The best is when he tells me to do something that I don't think is a good idea. Then I report back and he says, "why the hell did you do that?"
Me: "They want to implement this-that-the other"
My Boss: "What the fuck are they thinking? Who do they think they are? Who is paying for this? Absolutely Not!"
Me: "Well, the senior staff already ok'd it, and it's being bankrolled by Public Affairs, and last year you said yourself we should be doing this."
My Boss: "Absolutely we need to do this! It only makes sense! Why have they been dragging their feet? Make sure that they understand that we have been behind this from the beginning!"
Sorry to smear this in your faces, but boy am I glad I don??t have your jobs!
- J
I actually really appreciate my boss and enjoy working for him! He is just a bit crazy sometimes, and has a foul mouth and a quick rant for anyone who will listen! He really looks after his team though(5 people total IS Dept in a large Trade Association)and would defend any one of us at the drop of a hat if someone in a department tried to scapegoat us(which happens A LOT when you run a company's computer systems and Content Management technology). I have taken to being his translator and diplomat so people don't have to catch his unbridled shit, and so he doesn't get worked up over stupid requests. It's all good. The day he retires I guarantee I will be looking at other options!
My Boss: "What the fuck are they thinking? Who do they think they are? Who is paying for this? Absolutely Not!"
Me: "Well, the senior staff already ok'd it, and it's being bankrolled by Public Affairs, and last year you said yourself we should be doing this."
My Boss: "Absolutely we need to do this! It only makes sense! Why have they been dragging their feet? Make sure that they understand that we have been behind this from the beginning!"
Pure Dilbert!
I seldom get invited to meetings as it brings out my narcolepsy. A few times I have been prodded awake by bloke speaking, him having to stop and come over to wake me. Apparently my snoring detracted from the importance of his message.
agreed. I worked at a videogame developer that would bring out tons and tons of beer and pizza/ bbq for completely random meetings. it was bizarre/ cool. when a major accomplishment happened it was bottles of bub. when a game was finished it was a tab at a bar in the $10,000 + range. thats a lot considering drink prices round here.
interestingly I heard that someone smeared shit all over the wall of one of the bathrooms. I cant think of anything that would make me do this, even being fired.
my top one i used to get is "you've really got to step it up" and "give 110%".......which of course was great motivation to work even slower and piss them off even more.
i work for a Japanese company, so our meetings are always twice as long as they should be due to all the communication blunders and misunderstandings that need to be explained...
Comments
Doctors have meetings too, it's not blood and dead bodies all the time.
Haha... I have great anxiety about outdressing more senior colleagues.
But I'm still not going to show up in an unironed shirt three sizes too large that has a coffee stain on it.
yeah, but if you are the new kid in the company game, don't show up with these
to your first meeting. It's wrong.
Dude...the InfoWorld style guide has 60 (count 'em!) pages devoted solely to the alphabet soup of the IT world. I swear some of these articles I edit look like a monkey pounded on the keyboard for a while, and then a human came and randomly threw in some verbs.
Crazy...that Redman tape has been my commuting music for the past couple days.
Quite possibly my favorite Simpsons quip ever.
This was my commuting music last week.
I fucking hate meetings, but I went to some IT thing this morning at the a Hotel here in Richmond and they served us a really nice breakfast and only talked for like an hour. We have a weekly managers meeting here at work where most of the time my boss makes us re-explain every project we are working on like he never knew it existed.
I do not want to hear about so-and-so needing to have a come-to-jesus meeting with so-and-so ever again. Ever.
LOL. That gets dropped once, twice a week over here. I thought that was a Texas/redneck thing maybe. Guess not.
Co-signage.
What the fuck does it mean?
As far as I can tell it is a meeting where somebody bludgeons a less important person into adopting their point of view. I really don't know, though.
My understanding is that it means you're gonna hammer on someone who isn't doing what you need them to. Like say such-and-such vendor that works for you isn't delivering quality or their prices are too high, "We need to have a come-to-Jesus meeting with Joe's Drywall."
My boss is the same way.
The best is when he tells me to do something that I don't think is a good idea. Then I report back and he says, "why the hell did you do that?"
The General Manager of my company recently retired. I was sad to see him go. He was a workaholic, fair minded and considerate person. Cared about his employees and the customers. Always went the extra mile.
We hired a friend of his to replace him. The guy, a 40-something white collar guy with a corporate attitude started yelling "beotch" after each conversation with him on the phone. He also started doing it in emails to me. I don't know why he all of a sudden started doing it. Maybe he felt it was endearing but it made me cringe. I was embarrassed for him.
We ended up letting him go for various reasons both personal and professional which I won't go into. Needless to say I was glad to see him go.
Me: "They want to implement this-that-the other"
My Boss: "What the fuck are they thinking? Who do they think they are? Who is paying for this? Absolutely Not!"
Me: "Well, the senior staff already ok'd it, and it's being bankrolled by Public Affairs, and last year you said yourself we should be doing this."
My Boss: "Absolutely we need to do this! It only makes sense! Why have they been dragging their feet? Make sure that they understand that we have been behind this from the beginning!"
- J
I actually really appreciate my boss and enjoy working for him! He is just a bit crazy sometimes, and has a foul mouth and a quick rant for anyone who will listen! He really looks after his team though(5 people total IS Dept in a large Trade Association)and would defend any one of us at the drop of a hat if someone in a department tried to scapegoat us(which happens A LOT when you run a company's computer systems and Content Management technology). I have taken to being his translator and diplomat so people don't have to catch his unbridled shit, and so he doesn't get worked up over stupid requests. It's all good. The day he retires I guarantee I will be looking at other options!
Pure Dilbert!
I seldom get invited to meetings as it brings out my narcolepsy. A few times I have been prodded awake by bloke speaking, him having to stop and come over to wake me. Apparently my snoring detracted from the importance of his message.
agreed. I worked at a videogame developer that would bring out tons and tons of beer and pizza/ bbq for completely random meetings. it was bizarre/ cool. when a major accomplishment happened it was bottles of bub. when a game was finished it was a tab at a bar in the $10,000 + range. thats a lot considering drink prices round here.
interestingly I heard that someone smeared shit all over the wall of one of the bathrooms. I cant think of anything that would make me do this, even being fired.
You do recall what happened to the last guy who talked up his employers on here, don't you?
rumpled brooks bros shirt = kids in private schools, a wife that lunches with the ladies, and an oppressive mortgage. "he gets it."
'at this come to jesus meeting, we're going to go after the low hanging fruit, which will shift our paradigm into a-win-win for the final quarter.'
man. this shit is not communication....i could listen to poochie quotes all day, though. what a totally outrageous paradigm.