Never ever hire a dj
DeeRock
1,836 Posts
I'm checking my email this morning and I turn the tv on and the Tyra Banks show is playing. She is telling ladies how to to have their dream wedding for as cheap as possible. She said never ever hire a dj it's just a waste of money!! She said just play your ipod. Hilarious. But that's where we are at now days. 
Comments
yeah, we should all switch to baking these here to step our wedding game up:
If a tree falls in a forest and nobody's around to hear it...
TYRA
ISAIN'T AN ARMYGorgeous? She is busted mayne. She got a big ass forehead and an ugly face. I have NEVER thought she was attractive. The other Victoria's Secret models look a lot better.
Fine. I'm not gonna argue this. I can't even look in her direction; she makes me want to barf in my mouth.
isn't she basically right though?
given some of these
---
I was a guest at a wedding this past weekend, and the DJ was an older
guy, probably a friend of one of the parents.
He had the setup and the CD library, but man was his style busted.
Apparently the bride had requested "Dancing Cheek To Cheek" for the
all-important Bride & Father dance.
So during the Best Man's speech, suddenly we heard the DJ singing
"...when we're out there dancing, cheek to cheek..."
Oblivious headphone phenomenon - the old dude was just totally in
his own world with these bigass headphones on, singing "cheek to cheek"
while the Best Man was trying to talk about the groom.
Finally, the wedding photographer took the initiative to go up
and clue the guy in, and tell him to can it.
Meanwhile, everybody there is just suspended in awkwardness,
and the bride is smiling daggers.
Apparently what was going on was the DJ realized he only had an
instrumental version of "Cheek To Cheek"...so, MISTAKE #2, he plans
to play the instrumental and just SING ALONG, karaoke style.
So this he does when the bride & father step out for their heart-touching
moment, all attention focused on them, and then there's the DJ
croaking out a few jumbled up lyrics completely in the wrong key.
Ouch!
Also he played Ton Loc "Wild Thing" and Outkast "I Like The Way You Move"
twice each during the less-than-two-hour dance floor.
Yeah, well a tru hard-as-nails DJ has got to play the same song
twice in a row, or else you know he's soft!
There was a time when all my friends were getting married and I had like 7 weddings in the span of 4 months. I rated them from 1-10. I became an expert in everything from the type of booze provided down to the flowers. If someone were to flip on an iPod when it came down to get busy, I would yank my Hallmark Card with 2 C-Notes in it right off the fucking gift table... and would clown the bride and groom for life. Son, don't risk it.
Ty-Ty can say what she wants but her advice definitely ain't being heeded around these parts. I don't advertise myself as a wedding DJ AT ALL but I've DJ'd four weddings so far in '06, with two more to go, including a blinged-out Indian wedding in Memphis in October.
An iPod would have actually been ok for 1 of the 4 weddings I mentioned, but the others would have been disasters without the human touch:
WEDDING 1 - Crowd of mod skinhead scooterists who loved northern/funk/reggae... on 45 of course.
WEDDING 2 - Unexpected request for "country music we can 2-step to" that had all the couples swarming the dancefloor to Buck Owens, and latenight corny 80s top-40 session had entire crowd screaming to Loverboy lyrics (while three guys put on improvised bandannas to impersonate Mike Reno).
WEDDING 3 - Two on-the-spot requests for "clogging music" as the father-in-law had given the bride some clogging shoes that day (I had no bluegrass but Gram Parsons did the trick), and a tripleshot of beach music classics on 45 (Give Me Just A Little More Time, Carolina Girl, I Love Beach Music) had the entire party forming a train and singing out the lyrics.
I'd like to see an iPod shuffle handle those situations. It just ain't happening.
BTW not only did I get a $50 tip and a bottle of wine at that last wedding, but the older sister of the bride told me that I was great, especially since the last wedding she attended had her "taking over the music because the DJ was so bad."
And did I mention she told me this during Leo's "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing," which caused her to pause and say.. "Hey.. who is this? I love this song. Leo Sayer? O RLY???"
I also played "Dancing Cheek to Cheek" at that one but managed to avoid Shigging it out over the instrumental.
HOT
BTW Tyra Banks is fine and ANTM is the best reality show on TV. Tyra you do you and I'll continue making bank off the newlyweds.
I didn't really like her before...this doesn't help much
Tyra...
oh yeah, her show is a fucking train wreck.
I'm with Raj on this one. I don't plan on getting married or having anything other than an extremely small wedding if I can't afford a band with a full horn section. Never hire a dj.
Ehh, we're getting a DJ because that's what we've always wanted. Ever since we moved in together a few years back, and my girl had to make room in her life for my records, she said, "you know...we should have a DJ at our wedding, and we could play the kind of stuff you collect."
Ummm...she seemed like a keeper to me. And, that's exactly what we're doing.
Don't get me wrong, I'd definitely make sure any band I hired would play all the stuff I collect
Does anyone remember her music video? Yes, it's as bad as it sounds.
SKRATE.
Skronky spiritual jazz?
Damn, what a fucking wedding that would be. Imagine guests talking with each other, becoming acquainted while a nice atmospheric melody plays in the background and then, twenty minutes in, an abrupt and sudden eruption of shrieks and discordant wails breaks out for ten minutes. Follow this up with some moody, stark bass lines and spooky, distant cymbal work. Then comes the angry speak and chanting???
Somewhere in there would come the cake cutting and speeches.
Of course, this would all be captured, pressed up as a small vinyl run, outfitted with a black and white cover and sent to wedding guests. Remaining copies would be stored next to my radiator.
Oh and???
Ashrock???s kid will find me in the phone book 40 years from now and offer to buy up any copies I might have left for him and ???his friends???.
Don't forget that the speak and chanting will be of the kill whitey variety...
"yo, you ever heard the NeverEnoughMoney wedding record? Shit is next level, son... rumor has it only 100 were pressed, and out of that only 20 copies exist... the guy left it next to his radiator - get this - on purpose..."
"woah, that's ILL... I need to holler at that..."
Ha...Private Wedding Boner.