Bizarrely I have participated in another biscuit thread elsewhere this week. Only happy to drop my knowledge for The Strut. Fact: The UK is the global biscuit EPICENTRE. Even the continentals I know over here are staggered by the biscuit variety. It even staggers me after doing my best to get through every f*cking one at one point or another.
I used to be down with the chocolate Hob Nob school of thought (you can get them without the chocolate, but, as they say, you may as well get hung for a sheep as for a lamb). But then I started to find them too sickly. Yeah, I thought the words would never leave my mouth. But maybe familiarity does breed contempt.
Jaffa Cakes... The one thing our friends asked us to take all the way to Australia for them. And the c*nts melted in the taxi from the airport... I noticed those LU biscuits above. Here's the deal, they are Pims flavoured, so I know they are made by McVities under licence, as a Jaffa Cake reskin.
The Jaffa cake is a sponge biscuit with a flavoured gel centre, covered in chocolate. They did pimp them out a while back from beyond the regular Orange flavour (hence Jaffa) into Lime and yes, Pims. But the Pims ones over here were too next level - they were done with white chocolate drizzled with milk chocolate.
I tried them and they were too posh - the kind of thing you would have to maybe eat one or two a day, saving some to bust out to impress some top-drawer totty, whereas the role of any Jaffa Cake derivative is to be hammered by the packet load, machine-gun style until the crumbs are left spinning on their own axies like miniature pulsars. Impossible to hold back on.
I am currently back to a classic - the McVities Milk Chocolate digestive. You can get them with Caramel injected into them, or even with Orange flavour chocolate. The Caramels are again too sickly for my liking, but I think the Orange ones have a chance to go the distance and become an established product line. I have stumbled across a remarkably good dunking medium for the chocolate digestive, a combination as decadent as it is strange to behold. Even more decadent that Grace Jones @ Studio 54, Dec 31, 1978 or whatever.
Dunk the digestive into a fuck-off glass of Amoretto DiSaronno liquer (natch, a wide scotch glass, not a shot glass) and optionally set fire to it to allow a molten-chocolate kick on the lips as the biscuit is bitten. Like The Hustle, you can't knock it. I think the dark chocolate ones may go down even better - let me know...
Avoid Rich Tea - what a misnomer; nothing pimp going on flavour-wise and completely unsuitable for the biscuit-tea/coffee interface. Immersion in warm liquid for more than a few seconds causes the biscuit to flop like airborn pizza dough, and again, some mechanical dredging of your brew is required to make it palatable.
Comments
Crisps are the same as potatoe chips mate, crackers are crackers I think...
Yup. Crackers will be crackers. what can you do?
Hob Nobs run ish but it's all about those German ginger biscuits, they smell so damn tasty! (they doa ctually taste good too)
all yall need to check this site -
http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/
I used to be down with the chocolate Hob Nob school of thought (you can get them without the chocolate, but, as they say, you may as well get hung for a sheep as for a lamb). But then I started to find them too sickly. Yeah, I thought the words would never leave my mouth. But maybe familiarity does breed contempt.
Jaffa Cakes... The one thing our friends asked us to take all the way to Australia for them. And the c*nts melted in the taxi from the airport... I noticed those LU biscuits above. Here's the deal, they are Pims flavoured, so I know they are made by McVities under licence, as a Jaffa Cake reskin.
The Jaffa cake is a sponge biscuit with a flavoured gel centre, covered in chocolate. They did pimp them out a while back from beyond the regular Orange flavour (hence Jaffa) into Lime and yes, Pims. But the Pims ones over here were too next level - they were done with white chocolate drizzled with milk chocolate.
I tried them and they were too posh - the kind of thing you would have to maybe eat one or two a day, saving some to bust out to impress some top-drawer totty, whereas the role of any Jaffa Cake derivative is to be hammered by the packet load, machine-gun style until the crumbs are left spinning on their own axies like miniature pulsars. Impossible to hold back on.
I am currently back to a classic - the McVities Milk Chocolate digestive. You can get them with Caramel injected into them, or even with Orange flavour chocolate. The Caramels are again too sickly for my liking, but I think the Orange ones have a chance to go the distance and become an established product line. I have stumbled across a remarkably good dunking medium for the chocolate digestive, a combination as decadent as it is strange to behold. Even more decadent that Grace Jones @ Studio 54, Dec 31, 1978 or whatever.
Dunk the digestive into a fuck-off glass of Amoretto DiSaronno liquer (natch, a wide scotch glass, not a shot glass) and optionally set fire to it to allow a molten-chocolate kick on the lips as the biscuit is bitten. Like The Hustle, you can't knock it. I think the dark chocolate ones may go down even better - let me know...
Avoid Rich Tea - what a misnomer; nothing pimp going on flavour-wise and completely unsuitable for the biscuit-tea/coffee interface. Immersion in warm liquid for more than a few seconds causes the biscuit to flop like airborn pizza dough, and again, some mechanical dredging of your brew is required to make it palatable.