and the kicker, the best comment ive ever had, courtesy of drunk middle aged camp as a row of tents Dutch TV presenter "your music is shit, but id still fuck you".
so im djing in a bar that is hosting the afterparty for the Dutch idol reality show. (a few years back now) needless to say, the room is full of B and C celebrities, local scenesters and lots of wannabes. That night has provided me with more 'stupid request' qoutes than i care to remember.
Dutch tv host whore #232 "PLAY THE BIRTHDAY SONG! PLAY THE BIRTHDAY SONG!" (50 cent)
Idols winner "Play MY song" (over and over, the whole fucking night)
MTV Whore #123002 "Do you have any unreleased white label 12"s?" (seriously)
Wannabe #72 "yo, play some Hiphop" (as im playing hiphop)
and the kicker, the best comment ive ever had, courtesy of drunk middle aged camp as a row of tents Dutch TV presenter "your music is shit, but id still fuck you".
heres a photo of the guy
haha Joling representing, that's some funny shit man. Who was the Idols winner, that Jim dude?
I was once told to stop playing this gay shit (J5's 'Day at the Races' was playing) & to play some Necro.. Yeah like that'd work... So dude can arm staunch in the corner with his drink on.
the worst is if you're like up on a stage or platform DJing, and you see a group of usually 3 girls forming close to you, plotting their requests.... eventually they gain the nerve to climb up to where you are and start spouting bullshit requests.. and generally don't leave the side of your table until a bouncer or homeboy comes to your aid.
I was once told to stop playing this gay shit (J5's 'Day at the Races' was playing) & to play some Necro.. Yeah like that'd work... So dude can arm staunch in the corner with his drink on.
Maybe dude just wanted to get his Falafel grind on?
the worst is if you're like up on a stage or platform DJing, and you see a group of usually 3 girls forming close to you, plotting their requests.... eventually they gain the nerve to climb up to where you are and start spouting bullshit requests.. and generally don't leave the side of your table until a bouncer or homeboy comes to your aid.
Ah. So spot on.. Damn this stuff is far more universal than I thought... I usually keep head low, headphones on, do some scratching & look mega busy in the mix until they get bored. rarely works though... those chicks have stamina when they cluster...
I got a blank stare when i asked one girl if I could go to her office on Monday & ring some clients, shuffle some files, delete her emails... She didn't get it.
I was once told to stop playing this gay shit (J5's 'Day at the Races' was playing) & to play some Necro.. Yeah like that'd work... So dude can arm staunch in the corner with his drink on.
Maybe dude just wanted to get his Falafel grind on?
Hmmn, maybe if I was playing Aesop, but i'd take Necro fans to be carnivores...
"it's my friend's birthday, and she doesn't like this music. could you play something else? oh yeah, can you say happy birthday to her on the mic, too?"
"Yo yo yo people - I wanna give a happy birthday shoutout to the bitch with no taste and her fat girlfriend!"
"Yo, can you play some music?" while actually playing music
"So are you REALLY playing those records?"
"Yep, only vinyl records tonight."
He looked even more suspicious and said, "Yeah, RIIIIGHT..."
"What, do you think I have a computer back here? These are real records!"
He squinted doubtfully and said, "Maybe you have iPod back there." He eventually went back to his space in line to the mens room, still l looking at me like I was straight up lying to him.
Definitely feeling the lower right hand corner of that picture.
...soul/funk night...As the dancefloor started to fill, a college dude, who was, to my eyes, clearly on the softer end of the backpacker spectrum approached me and asked if we would play some Sade. I told him simply that I was sorry but we didn't bring any, without bothering to go into any explanation of the type of soul and funk we were, and intended to continue, playing. At this point I'm thinking, okay, lame request over, dude can go back to doodling in his graff book, and I can go back to the decks. No. Instead, this kid grins, and shoots me this excited look that reads something along the lines of, "I had a feeling you might forget the Sade records!" Hommie thus proceeds to take off and unzip his backpack, and procure from within one copy of the "Smooth Operator" 45, which he then hands to me in earnest, as if to say, "Don't worry, I got you dog."[/b] I was so baffled by this turn of events, that all I could do was take it from him and tell him we'd try to play it at the end of the night if things settled down (they didn't). At 2:05 he returned dejectedly to the DJ platform, retrieved his unplayed Sade 45, and wandered out the door, alone, and into the night.
I often wonder what exactly was going through the kid's head as he placed that Sade 45 into his backpack on his way out the door, as he headed to a funk party at a popular local bar that boasts an internet jukebox. Whatever it was, one thing is for certain, I miss that kid, I really do.
Music is like food.....
You wanna serve up some 5 star shit but the masses are happy with and even WANT friggin' McDonalds!!!
Naw, see the problem is that any DJ is, say, a pizza joint (or Thai, or Italian, or Soul Food, it don't matter) and almost every audience is expecting an all you can eat buffet of their personal favorite food! In other words, this battle is eternal.
he got on the dance floor and starting raving with two cel-phones as glowsticks.
what if he just picked up that 45 earlier in the day at happened to have it on him? or are you pretty sure it was a pre medidated act
I suppose there's no way to know for certain (unless he lurks here...fingers crossed)
he drops a big Steak knife out of his pocket. Immediately, I am like "Holy Shit."
..."black music like Eminem?"
when are the people gonna get here and the promoter that brought me out comes up to let me know how poppin' it is that it isn't usually that busy!
"your music is shit, but id still fuck you".
'the farmer' by Snow
great stories. if this isn't 5 stars, i'm going to waxidermy.
I was once told to stop playing this gay shit (J5's 'Day at the Races' was playing) & to play some Necro.. Yeah like that'd work... So dude can arm staunch in the corner with his drink on.
Maybe dude just wanted to get his Falafel grind on?
Hmmn, maybe if I was playing Aesop, but i'd take Necro fans to be carnivores...
also, i didn't think you were knocking SADE, i just felt like re-stating that she was dope.
what if he just picked up that 45 earlier in the day at happened to have it on him? or are you pretty sure it was a pre medidated act
That don't matter!! If any of you guys think it's remotely the deal to go up to DJs you don't know and whip out records for them to play you're off your hinges!
The only thing that would make the act NOT be sad and pathetic is if the kid was mentally challenged (and no, I am not making fun of the mentally challenged, just sayin' I could see some one who was a bit 'slow' thinking this is the move, you have a record, the DJ plays it).
I had a little girl at a BBQ come up to me with her 50Cent and Usher CDs and tell me which cuts to play and in what order. Now, she was like 9 years old, so I just said "OK sweetie" and played the Usher 12" I had, she was happy. And she WAS NINE YEARS OLD.
also, i didn't think you were knocking SADE, i just felt like re-stating that she was dope.
what if he just picked up that 45 earlier in the day at happened to have it on him? or are you pretty sure it was a pre medidated act
That don't matter!! If any of you guys think it's remotely the deal to go up to DJs you don't know and whip out records for them to play you're off your hinges!
The only thing that would make the act NOT be sad and pathetic is if the kid was mentally challenged (and no, I am not making fun of the mentally challenged, just sayin' I could see some one who was a bit 'slow' thinking this is the move, you have a record, the DJ plays it).
I had a little girl at a BBQ come up to me with her 50Cent and Usher CDs and tell me which cuts to play and in what order. Now, she was like 9 years old, so I just said "OK sweetie" and played the Usher 12" I had, she was happy. And she WAS NINE YEARS OLD.
You mean you didn't use Fr*$k's line and tell her you would get the bouncer.
also, i didn't think you were knocking SADE, i just felt like re-stating that she was dope.
what if he just picked up that 45 earlier in the day at happened to have it on him? or are you pretty sure it was a pre medidated act
That don't matter!! If any of you guys think it's remotely the deal to go up to DJs you don't know and whip out records for them to play you're off your hinges!
The only thing that would make the act NOT be sad and pathetic is if the kid was mentally challenged (and no, I am not making fun of the mentally challenged, just sayin' I could see some one who was a bit 'slow' thinking this is the move, you have a record, the DJ plays it).
I had a little girl at a BBQ come up to me with her 50Cent and Usher CDs and tell me which cuts to play and in what order. Now, she was like 9 years old, so I just said "OK sweetie" and played the Usher 12" I had, she was happy. And she WAS NINE YEARS OLD.
You mean you didn't use Fr*$k's line and tell her you would get the bouncer.
I lied. I told her I would call Child Protective Services and have her in a foster home by sundown if she didn't "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"
also, i didn't think you were knocking SADE, i just felt like re-stating that she was dope.
what if he just picked up that 45 earlier in the day at happened to have it on him? or are you pretty sure it was a pre medidated act
That don't matter!! If any of you guys think it's remotely the deal to go up to DJs you don't know and whip out records for them to play you're off your hinges!
The only thing that would make the act NOT be sad and pathetic is if the kid was mentally challenged (and no, I am not making fun of the mentally challenged, just sayin' I could see some one who was a bit 'slow' thinking this is the move, you have a record, the DJ plays it).
I had a little girl at a BBQ come up to me with her 50Cent and Usher CDs and tell me which cuts to play and in what order. Now, she was like 9 years old, so I just said "OK sweetie" and played the Usher 12" I had, she was happy. And she WAS NINE YEARS OLD.
You mean you didn't use Fr*$k's line and tell her you would get the bouncer.
I lied. I told her I would call Child Protective Services and have her in a foster home by sundown if she didn't "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"
Yeah i love it when dudes want to get on the mic. We used to run a free hip hop night at this bar every sat nite. No mics just turntables providing some music so people can chill, drink and chat. One night this guy approaches me and wants to rap
"Ahh we don't do that here" "But Im good" "Im sure you are but i don't have a mic" "I can go and get one" "No thats okay we don'y have emces here" "I could beat box"
And on and on. Eventually he got bored and left...
******************************************************************************* * DONT ASK FOR "SOMETHING YOU KNOW" - WHEN YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW NOTHING * * * * DONT ASK FOR "SOMETHING YOU CAN DANCE TO" - WHEN YOU OBVIOUSLY CANT DANCE * * * *******************************************************************************
it sucks when your supply of free drinks suddenly comes to a crashing halt when the girl you told to fuck off cos she wouldn't stop requesting Bryan Adams - Summer of 69 turns out to be one of the bar staff's girlfriend.
believe it or not, a girl once asked me to play the song that was actually on the turntables at this very moment. when i told her that i m currently palying this song, she suddenly got all and started to dance. sick bitch.
How about when girls keep asking for a song and when u finally play it they just stand there with no reaction!
OMG this has to be the most aggravating shit ever! I was asked by this hot woman all night to play some salsa stuff once. She said it was the only thing that could get her (very nice) ass moving. I finally gave in because she was reeeaaaallllly hot, and when I did she was just sitting down and didn't get up for any of salsa songs I played. Not to mention I killed the rest of the floor. I wanted to fucking kill her. It was my fault really for getting suckered by a hottie.
Once these really dumb ass annoying girls kept asking me and my friend for the backstreet boys all night. We both kept telling them to fuck off. Then when they finally tired of coming over to us, they started using guys as their pawns. Like if some dude was trying to rap to them, they would get said dude to come over and bug my friend about playing backstreet boys.
Even at the end of the night they decide to try their luck agian. No lie, with five minutes left in the night (it was 3:55am), he hits the stop button on the fucking record playing (room still packed and dancing like maniacs), and shouts at the top of his lungs to the bouncers, "Her, her, her and her, get them the fuck outta here!!!", and these big ass bouncers come out of the woodworks and pick these girls up off the floor and carry them out kicking and screaming. He started the record again. My stomach fucking hurt so much because I could not stop laughing.
With five minutes left in the night, the bouncer move was so unecessary, which in a way made it I don't know, maybe you had to be there but it was the funniest shit I've ever seen a DJ do to an annoying request posse.
I'm more of a lurker than a poster but thought I should add my tuppence worth.
I'm going through a lot of nights at the moment where people are leaning over and "scratching" my records. at first I'd just politely tell them if they did that again them and everyone with them would leave the club, they tend to apologise and that's the end. it seems to be happening at least once or twice a month. it's got to the point where I'm getting so angry I'm planning to wait a while then knock their drinks to the floor or just dragging them physically to the door of the club without a word.
I've had all the "can you play pussycats dolls" "shakira" etc and at an r'n'b night "come on just play one drum n bass song, everyone would love it" I tell them next time Pendulum are in town ask them if they have any Usher.
I play every friday a seven hour set across the board musically at a cool club in london where the management say "just tell them no requests", I try to at least be polite though.
I had one guy come up and say "don't you know anything about hip hop..." obviosuly wanting to get into a debate about the relevant merits of what I was playing, so I just said "no" and turn around to get on with my job.
I've heard of a dj that asks for peoples business card and anyone stupid enough to give him it, he rings up on monday morning and starts asking ridiculous questions, one guy was a manager for an electrical store and he started saying "oh come on you must have some fresh fish, everyone would love it, look no one's buying those tvs, you must have some cod or what about even some fish fingers".
and at an r'n'b night "come on just play one drum n bass song, everyone would love it" I tell them next time Pendulum are in town ask them if they have any Usher.
ah man, i can relate. thanks to Zane Lowe and fucking Pendulum, you get several of these morons who think they are edgy for trying to resurrect a genre that has been dead for 10 years. strictly no d'n'b so it always feels good that i have the 'I will lose my job if I play your request' line to fall back on.
who's been helped by bouncers in dealing with knuckleheads? who's been burned by bouncers?
Been burned and helped.
Most annoyingly burned by bouncers/staff at some chic spot I played on NYE. Some dipshit kept asking me to play Cameo all night. I told him I may or may not play it, depending on the vibe. He was a really annoying asshole, the worst kind too, they lean in all drunk and are falling on you and quite aggressive. I was getting to the point I was gonna punch him in the face. Anyways, he made me NOT want to play Cameo. So when he came up to me for the umpteenth time, I told him there was no way I was gonna play it, he asked me why not, I told him because I am playing everything except that. He pretended to walk away, then when I went down to grab another record, he knocked back the needle on the record that was playing. I got up, stopped the record and started screaming at him and running after him as he dashed through the packed crowd. Everyone was like what the fuck is going on, and I refused to put the music back on till management kicked him out. They didn't, because he is some special member at this members only chic club that is pretentious as fuck, and they didn't have the balls to kick him out. So they made him apologize and I turned the music back on because I wanted to make sure I got paid. Happy New Years assholes!
Now the flipside of the coin. We used to work at this club where the bouncers were just itching to kick assholes out. They loved the way my friend and I DJ'd, and if anyone got stupid, they were tossed from the venue in the blink of an eye. We used to shine this flashlight on the assholes that needed to be tossed, and good fucking bye. Those were some good times. The crowd was annoying as hell, but it also made us laugh our asses off watching some of these pricks get dragged out like that. It always made us feel better.
Comments
lol, classic
haha Joling representing, that's some funny shit man. Who was the Idols winner, that Jim dude?
J***i.
and working in a record store a woman wanted the latest CD by 'Enis' (Enya)
Mmm
Step the fuck away.
Maybe dude just wanted to get his Falafel grind on?
Ah. So spot on.. Damn this stuff is far more universal than I thought... I usually keep head low, headphones on, do some scratching & look mega busy in the mix until they get bored. rarely works though... those chicks have stamina when they cluster...
I got a blank stare when i asked one girl if I could go to her office on Monday & ring some clients, shuffle some files, delete her emails... She didn't get it.
Hmmn, maybe if I was playing Aesop, but i'd take Necro fans to be carnivores...
great stories. if this isn't 5 stars, i'm going to waxidermy.
You'd be surprised.......
That don't matter!! If any of you guys think it's remotely the deal to go up to DJs you don't know and whip out records for them to play you're off your hinges!
The only thing that would make the act NOT be sad and pathetic is if the kid was mentally challenged (and no, I am not making fun of the mentally challenged, just sayin' I could see some one who was a bit 'slow' thinking this is the move, you have a record, the DJ plays it).
I had a little girl at a BBQ come up to me with her 50Cent and Usher CDs and tell me which cuts to play and in what order. Now, she was like 9 years old, so I just said "OK sweetie" and played the Usher 12" I had, she was happy. And she WAS NINE YEARS OLD.
You mean you didn't use Fr*$k's line and tell her you would get the bouncer.
I lied. I told her I would call Child Protective Services and have her in a foster home by sundown if she didn't "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"
Yes!
"Ahh we don't do that here"
"But Im good"
"Im sure you are but i don't have a mic"
"I can go and get one"
"No thats okay we don'y have emces here"
"I could beat box"
And on and on. Eventually he got bored and left...
* DONT ASK FOR "SOMETHING YOU KNOW" - WHEN YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW NOTHING *
* *
* DONT ASK FOR "SOMETHING YOU CAN DANCE TO" - WHEN YOU OBVIOUSLY CANT DANCE *
* *
*******************************************************************************
OMG this has to be the most aggravating shit ever! I was asked by this hot woman all night to play some salsa stuff once. She said it was the only thing that could get her (very nice) ass moving. I finally gave in because she was reeeaaaallllly hot, and when I did she was just sitting down and didn't get up for any of salsa songs I played. Not to mention I killed the rest of the floor. I wanted to fucking kill her. It was my fault really for getting suckered by a hottie.
Once these really dumb ass annoying girls kept asking me and my friend for the backstreet boys all night. We both kept telling them to fuck off. Then when they finally tired of coming over to us, they started using guys as their pawns. Like if some dude was trying to rap to them, they would get said dude to come over and bug my friend about playing backstreet boys.
Even at the end of the night they decide to try their luck agian. No lie, with five minutes left in the night (it was 3:55am), he hits the stop button on the fucking record playing (room still packed and dancing like maniacs), and shouts at the top of his lungs to the bouncers, "Her, her, her and her, get them the fuck outta here!!!", and these big ass bouncers come out of the woodworks and pick these girls up off the floor and carry them out kicking and screaming. He started the record again. My stomach fucking hurt so much because I could not stop laughing.
With five minutes left in the night, the bouncer move was so unecessary, which in a
Or lack thereof. IN other words:
who's been helped by bouncers in dealing with knuckleheads?
who's been burned by bouncers?
I'm going through a lot of nights at the moment where people are leaning over and "scratching" my records.
at first I'd just politely tell them if they did that again them and everyone with them would leave the club, they tend to apologise and that's the end. it seems to be happening at least once or twice a month.
it's got to the point where I'm getting so angry I'm planning to wait a while then knock their drinks to the floor or just dragging them physically to the door of the club without a word.
I've had all the "can you play pussycats dolls" "shakira" etc
and at an r'n'b night "come on just play one drum n bass song, everyone would love it" I tell them next time Pendulum are in town ask them if they have any Usher.
I play every friday a seven hour set across the board musically at a cool club in london where the management say "just tell them no requests", I try to at least be polite though.
I had one guy come up and say "don't you know anything about hip hop..." obviosuly wanting to get into a debate about the relevant merits of what I was playing, so I just said "no" and turn around to get on with my job.
I've heard of a dj that asks for peoples business card and anyone stupid enough to give him it, he rings up on monday morning and starts asking ridiculous questions, one guy was a manager for an electrical store and he started saying "oh come on you must have some fresh fish, everyone would love it, look no one's buying those tvs, you must have some cod or what about even some fish fingers".
I know this isn't crazy unusual but goddamn...that sounds like a chore. How much new music do you bring every week vs. recycled tunes?
ah man, i can relate. thanks to Zane Lowe and fucking Pendulum, you get several of these morons who think they are edgy for trying to resurrect a genre that has been dead for 10 years. strictly no d'n'b so it always feels good that i have the 'I will lose my job if I play your request' line to fall back on.
Been burned and helped.
Most annoyingly burned by bouncers/staff at some chic spot I played on NYE. Some dipshit kept asking me to play Cameo all night. I told him I may or may not play it, depending on the vibe. He was a really annoying asshole, the worst kind too, they lean in all drunk and are falling on you and quite aggressive. I was getting to the point I was gonna punch him in the face. Anyways, he made me NOT want to play Cameo. So when he came up to me for the umpteenth time, I told him there was no way I was gonna play it, he asked me why not, I told him because I am playing everything except that. He pretended to walk away, then when I went down to grab another record, he knocked back the needle on the record that was playing. I got up, stopped the record and started screaming at him and running after him as he dashed through the packed crowd. Everyone was like what the fuck is going on, and I refused to put the music back on till management kicked him out. They didn't, because he is some special member at this members only chic club that is pretentious as fuck, and they didn't have the balls to kick him out. So they made him apologize and I turned the music back on because I wanted to make sure I got paid. Happy New Years assholes!
Now the flipside of the coin. We used to work at this club where the bouncers were just itching to kick assholes out. They loved the way my friend and I DJ'd, and if anyone got stupid, they were tossed from the venue in the blink of an eye. We used to shine this flashlight on the assholes that needed to be tossed, and good fucking bye. Those were some good times. The crowd was annoying as hell, but it also made us laugh our asses off watching some of these pricks get dragged out like that. It always made us feel better.