i tell people to leave if they request stupid shit, honest. i tell them the names of other bars in town to go to if they want to hear the eagles. the bar owner i work for gives me "CREATIVE LICENSE".
last night "buck em down" was playing and some pinstripe dude asks me if I'm gonna play any hip-hop. he eventually explained that by "hip-hop" he meant paul wall, which is cool, but then he got on the dance floor and starting raving with two cel-phones as glowsticks.
Recently - while playing "Have A Party" - random white girl #58590687 asked me to "play some fitty". I kindly informed her that the tune playing was, for all intents and purposes, a fitty song... she said, "no... I mean, do you have 'In The Club'?" IN 200-fucking-6! My response was:
"I have a lot of 50 Cent records I will play tonight. But that is one record that I will not play, not tonight, not tomorrow night, no time in the future will I play that record. I'm very sorry but if you haven't had your fill of that record yet I can't help you."
She got mad.
I felt great!!!
Music is like food.....
You wanna serve up some 5 star shit but the masses are happy with and even WANT friggin' McDonalds!!!
Naw, see the problem is that any DJ is, say, a pizza joint (or Thai, or Italian, or Soul Food, it don't matter) and almost every audience is expecting an all you can eat buffet of their personal favorite food! In other words, this battle is eternal.
The most ridiculous incident I can recall occured while doing a funk night in Lansing, Michigan w/ fellow strutters Gambit and dj Pi. It was our first night of what was to be a short-lived monthly soul/funk night, and we were all gassed 'cause the turn out was better than we anticipated. As the dancefloor started to fill, a college dude, who was, to my eyes, clearly on the softer end of the backpacker spectrum approached me and asked if we would play some Sade. I told him simply that I was sorry but we didn't bring any, without bothering to go into any explanation of the type of soul and funk we were, and intended to continue, playing. At this point I'm thinking, okay, lame request over, dude can go back to doodling in his graff book, and I can go back to the decks. No. Instead, this kid grins, and shoots me this excited look that reads something along the lines of, "I had a feeling you might forget the Sade records!" Hommie thus proceeds to take off and unzip his backpack, and procure from within one copy of the "Smooth Operator" 45, which he then hands to me in earnest, as if to say, "Don't worry, I got you dog." I was so baffled by this turn of events, that all I could do was take it from him and tell him we'd try to play it at the end of the night if things settled down (they didn't). At 2:05 he returned dejectedly to the DJ platform, retrieved his unplayed Sade 45, and wandered out the door, alone, and into the night.
I often wonder what exactly was going through the kid's head as he placed that Sade 45 into his backpack on his way out the door, as he headed to a funk party at a popular local bar that boasts an internet jukebox. Whatever it was, one thing is for certain, I miss that kid, I really do.
So I'm djing on Friday and this drunk dude walks up to me.. and asks for a Bud Light! I look down at the decks, which are right in front of him, and look back at him. "Miller Light?", he says? "Dude, the bar is over there," I say. He just started at me blankly, then wandered off.
Almost as good as last week when this crazy Filipino girl started fondling me while I was playing, and then squatted down next to me while I was looking through my crate. She started playing with herself (she was wearing a really short skirt, and spread her legs wide open) and then asked me if I liked her. "Sure," I said. "I like you." Then the shocker: "Well then do you want to FUCK me?" Woah!
No, I didn't. This girl was skanky as hell.
I think that same girl came to my club for a month straight and hasn't beens een since!
This chick came up to me last night and asked if had "Cassie". I told her yeah I gotta find it. she said I will look for you! I said you really want to go through these 6 crates of records and she said: "Huh, you don't have a computer"? That's where we at now days people. I could go on and on, I have so many stories.
The most ridiculous incident I can recall occured while doing a funk night in Lansing, Michigan w/ fellow strutters Gambit and dj Pi. It was our first night of what was to be a short-lived monthly soul/funk night, and we were all gassed 'cause the turn out was better than we anticipated. As the dancefloor started to fill, a college dude, who was, to my eyes, clearly on the softer end of the backpacker spectrum approached me and asked if we would play some Sade. I told him simply that I was sorry but we didn't bring any, without bothering to go into any explanation of the type of soul and funk we were, and intended to continue, playing. At this point I'm thinking, okay, lame request over, dude can go back to doodling in his graff book, and I can go back to the decks. No. Instead, this kid grins, and shoots me this excited look that reads something along the lines of, "I had a feeling you might forget the Sade records!" Hommie thus proceeds to take off and unzip his backpack, and procure from within one copy of the "Smooth Operator" 45, which he then hands to me in earnest, as if to say, "Don't worry, I got you dog." I was so baffled by this turn of events, that all I could do was take it from him and tell him we'd try to play it at the end of the night if things settled down (they didn't). At 2:05 he returned dejectedly to the DJ platform, retrieved his unplayed Sade 45, and wandered out the door, alone, and into the night.
I often wonder what exactly was going through the kid's head as he placed that Sade 45 into his backpack on his way out the door, as he headed to a funk party at a popular local bar that boasts an internet jukebox. Whatever it was, one thing is for certain, I miss that kid, I really do.
The most ridiculous incident I can recall occured while doing a funk night in Lansing, Michigan w/ fellow strutters Gambit and dj Pi. It was our first night of what was to be a short-lived monthly soul/funk night, and we were all gassed 'cause the turn out was better than we anticipated. As the dancefloor started to fill, a college dude, who was, to my eyes, clearly on the softer end of the backpacker spectrum approached me and asked if we would play some Sade. I told him simply that I was sorry but we didn't bring any, without bothering to go into any explanation of the type of soul and funk we were, and intended to continue, playing. At this point I'm thinking, okay, lame request over, dude can go back to doodling in his graff book, and I can go back to the decks. No. Instead, this kid grins, and shoots me this excited look that reads something along the lines of, "I had a feeling you might forget the Sade records!" Hommie thus proceeds to take off and unzip his backpack, and procure from within one copy of the "Smooth Operator" 45, which he then hands to me in earnest, as if to say, "Don't worry, I got you dog." I was so baffled by this turn of events, that all I could do was take it from him and tell him we'd try to play it at the end of the night if things settled down (they didn't). At 2:05 he returned dejectedly to the DJ platform, retrieved his unplayed Sade 45, and wandered out the door, alone, and into the night.
I often wonder what exactly was going through the kid's head as he placed that Sade 45 into his backpack on his way out the door, as he headed to a funk party at a popular local bar that boasts an internet jukebox. Whatever it was, one thing is for certain, I miss that kid, I really do.
SADE is doep though
But honestly....what on EARTH prompts someone to bring a record out to a bar with him AND prompts him to try to get a total stranger to play it? jeeeezus.
This chick came up to me last night and asked if had "Cassie". I told her yeah I gotta find it. she said I will look for you! I said you really want to go through these 6 crates of records and she said: "Huh, you don't have a computer"?
You should have invited her to inspect your laptop.
This chick came up to me last night and asked if had "Cassie". I told her yeah I gotta find it. she said I will look for you! I said you really want to go through these 6 crates of records and she said: "Huh, you don't have a computer"?
You should have invited her to inspect your laptop.
The most ridiculous incident I can recall occured while doing a funk night in Lansing, Michigan w/ fellow strutters Gambit and dj Pi. It was our first night of what was to be a short-lived monthly soul/funk night, and we were all gassed 'cause the turn out was better than we anticipated. As the dancefloor started to fill, a college dude, who was, to my eyes, clearly on the softer end of the backpacker spectrum approached me and asked if we would play some Sade. I told him simply that I was sorry but we didn't bring any, without bothering to go into any explanation of the type of soul and funk we were, and intended to continue, playing. At this point I'm thinking, okay, lame request over, dude can go back to doodling in his graff book, and I can go back to the decks. No. Instead, this kid grins, and shoots me this excited look that reads something along the lines of, "I had a feeling you might forget the Sade records!" Hommie thus proceeds to take off and unzip his backpack, and procure from within one copy of the "Smooth Operator" 45, which he then hands to me in earnest, as if to say, "Don't worry, I got you dog." I was so baffled by this turn of events, that all I could do was take it from him and tell him we'd try to play it at the end of the night if things settled down (they didn't). At 2:05 he returned dejectedly to the DJ platform, retrieved his unplayed Sade 45, and wandered out the door, alone, and into the night.
I often wonder what exactly was going through the kid's head as he placed that Sade 45 into his backpack on his way out the door, as he headed to a funk party at a popular local bar that boasts an internet jukebox. Whatever it was, one thing is for certain, I miss that kid, I really do.
SADE is doep though
But honestly....what on EARTH prompts someone to bring a record out to a bar with him AND prompts him to try to get a total stranger to play it? jeeeezus.
yeah, i agree that's pretty crazy...people like that are out there though
i just rememeberd that once some guy went out to his car to get some drum & bass 12 inch, cause he went thru some effort to give me a record i cued it up, i told him that i don't really play stuff like that and i wasnt into it and he had a very sad look on his face.
but SADE is dope, that song "your love is king" or "hang on to your love"
I was playing this spot in North Carolina a few months back and I kept thining to myself when are the people gonna get here and the promoter that brought me out comes up to let me know how poppin' it is that it isn't usually that busy! Anyway some guy brings me a record and tells me no one has it, it is really rare and he paid $150 dollars for it and could I play it. I did and it was a house mix of an earth wind and fire song. No one cared but him. Lol.
Hey I got some stories as well from when Kon and I went to Germany in 2004. First, in Munich I am djing and this guy comes up to the booth. He asked can he put his bag between the wall and booth. As he is squatting down to place the bag in that space..he drops a big Steak knife out of his pocket. Immediately, I am like "Holy Shit." Better yet, the guy didn't know he dropped the knife..I had to tell him. Fucking Funny as shit!! Then in Hamburg Two beautiful girls with HUGE tits come over requesting R. Kelly and I politely said I don't have any R. Kelly. She comes back rubbing those nice tits on my arm asking for R. Kelly..again I say no I don't have (by the way, I really didn't have the record). So again, she comes 15 minutes later this time while I am settin' up the next record and rubs her tits on me again..this time fucking me up. Sorry, fellas I screamed on her like "get the fuck outta here." Then some serious gay dude comes over sayin "can't you play anything fast like Usher or R. Kelly nobody's dancin." Meanwhile, I was playin Micahel jackson-"Don't Stop til Ya Get Enough" which is seriously uptempo..at least more than any R.Kelly or Usher record. And EVERYBODY was dancing just not his gay punk ass!!! Lastly, in Munich again. I was spinning some funk 45's and this seriously drunk chick comes over and says " can you play some black music like Eminem?" I am like get the fuck outta here...you for real!!!!
anyone ever got some cool requests from celebrities ??
someone mentioned Bruce Willis asking for Schooly D before, was that true ?
yeah that was Cosmo.
Yeah he asked for Stevie V "Dirty Cash" and I didn't have it. Then he asked for "that Schoolly D song from King of New York" so I played "Saturday Night" and he was with it. Dude was pretty cool actually.
Jaime Foxx requested D'Angelo "Left & Right" from me.
I've had some really great requests. I've had some really bad ones as well, such as the guy who's walked up to the DJ booth and goes "Hey lemme get 2 Coronas."
The most ridiculous incident I can recall occured while doing a funk night in Lansing, Michigan w/ fellow strutters Gambit and dj Pi. It was our first night of what was to be a short-lived monthly soul/funk night, and we were all gassed 'cause the turn out was better than we anticipated. As the dancefloor started to fill, a college dude, who was, to my eyes, clearly on the softer end of the backpacker spectrum approached me and asked if we would play some Sade. I told him simply that I was sorry but we didn't bring any, without bothering to go into any explanation of the type of soul and funk we were, and intended to continue, playing. At this point I'm thinking, okay, lame request over, dude can go back to doodling in his graff book, and I can go back to the decks. No. Instead, this kid grins, and shoots me this excited look that reads something along the lines of, "I had a feeling you might forget the Sade records!" Hommie thus proceeds to take off and unzip his backpack, and procure from within one copy of the "Smooth Operator" 45, which he then hands to me in earnest, as if to say, "Don't worry, I got you dog." I was so baffled by this turn of events, that all I could do was take it from him and tell him we'd try to play it at the end of the night if things settled down (they didn't). At 2:05 he returned dejectedly to the DJ platform, retrieved his unplayed Sade 45, and wandered out the door, alone, and into the night.
I often wonder what exactly was going through the kid's head as he placed that Sade 45 into his backpack on his way out the door, as he headed to a funk party at a popular local bar that boasts an internet jukebox. Whatever it was, one thing is for certain, I miss that kid, I really do.
SADE is doep though
But honestly....what on EARTH prompts someone to bring a record out to a bar with him AND prompts him to try to get a total stranger to play it? jeeeezus.
yeah, i agree that's pretty crazy...people like that are out there though
i just rememeberd that once some guy went out to his car to get some drum & bass 12 inch, cause he went thru some effort to give me a record i cued it up, i told him that i don't really play stuff like that and i wasnt into it and he had a very sad look on his face.
but SADE is dope, that song "your love is king" or "hang on to your love"
Plaese understand that I'm not knocking Sade, or the fact that the kid requested her in the slightest. Hell, I'm not even knocking the absurdly inappropriate timing of the request (i.e. full dancefloor, uptempo funk blasting out the speakers). What struck me as remarkable about the event is that I found the reasoning behind the act completely imprenetrable. I mean, I simply could not for the life of me figure out why the kid would bring a record like Sade to a night billed as a funk party. Seriously, think about what the act entails for a moment and then try to explain it. Keep in mind that we are not talking about some one-off, homemade record that this kid found in his parents' basement, or a soul record that his uncle played on, we are talking about an artist that can be heard on probably 60% of the country's jukeboxes, so I can hardly imagine he envisioned this soul/funk night as his sole opportunity to drink a beer and listen to "Smooth Operator". So what alternatives does that leave? Was he hoping to stand out as more than just your average soul fan in the eyes of the DJs? Was he hoping we'd drop the Sade 45 and then shout him out to the crowd as the provider of this massive cut that none of us have ever heard played into the ground by every easy listening station in America? The whole interaction just had this weird rehearsed feeling to it that gave me the immediate impression that this was more than just someone who looking to hear some Sade.
In any case, whatever his reason, I'm certainly well past the point of overanalyzation, so I'm going to just leave it alone. Apologies for the unecessarily long post.
what if he just picked up that 45 earlier in the day at happened to have it on him? or are you pretty sure it was a pre medidated act
I suppose there's no way to know for certain (unless he lurks here...fingers crossed), but my immediate intuition was that the act was absolutely premeditated.
The most ridiculous incident I can recall occured while doing a funk night in Lansing, Michigan w/ fellow strutters Gambit and dj Pi. It was our first night of what was to be a short-lived monthly soul/funk night, and we were all gassed 'cause the turn out was better than we anticipated. As the dancefloor started to fill, a college dude, who was, to my eyes, clearly on the softer end of the backpacker spectrum approached me and asked if we would play some Sade. I told him simply that I was sorry but we didn't bring any, without bothering to go into any explanation of the type of soul and funk we were, and intended to continue, playing. At this point I'm thinking, okay, lame request over, dude can go back to doodling in his graff book, and I can go back to the decks. No. Instead, this kid grins, and shoots me this excited look that reads something along the lines of, "I had a feeling you might forget the Sade records!" Hommie thus proceeds to take off and unzip his backpack, and procure from within one copy of the "Smooth Operator" 45, which he then hands to me in earnest, as if to say, "Don't worry, I got you dog." I was so baffled by this turn of events, that all I could do was take it from him and tell him we'd try to play it at the end of the night if things settled down (they didn't). At 2:05 he returned dejectedly to the DJ platform, retrieved his unplayed Sade 45, and wandered out the door, alone, and into the night.
I often wonder what exactly was going through the kid's head as he placed that Sade 45 into his backpack on his way out the door, as he headed to a funk party at a popular local bar that boasts an internet jukebox. Whatever it was, one thing is for certain, I miss that kid, I really do.
Dood, that is a must play situation. I would love to drop something like that especially as weird as it would be for the crawd. Over the years I have learned that every dance floor is one play of Sex Machine away from being packed. So why not take a chance or fuck around.
The most ridiculous incident I can recall occured while doing a funk night in Lansing, Michigan w/ fellow strutters Gambit and dj Pi. It was our first night of what was to be a short-lived monthly soul/funk night, and we were all gassed 'cause the turn out was better than we anticipated. As the dancefloor started to fill, a college dude, who was, to my eyes, clearly on the softer end of the backpacker spectrum approached me and asked if we would play some Sade. I told him simply that I was sorry but we didn't bring any, without bothering to go into any explanation of the type of soul and funk we were, and intended to continue, playing. At this point I'm thinking, okay, lame request over, dude can go back to doodling in his graff book, and I can go back to the decks. No. Instead, this kid grins, and shoots me this excited look that reads something along the lines of, "I had a feeling you might forget the Sade records!" Hommie thus proceeds to take off and unzip his backpack, and procure from within one copy of the "Smooth Operator" 45, which he then hands to me in earnest, as if to say, "Don't worry, I got you dog." I was so baffled by this turn of events, that all I could do was take it from him and tell him we'd try to play it at the end of the night if things settled down (they didn't). At 2:05 he returned dejectedly to the DJ platform, retrieved his unplayed Sade 45, and wandered out the door, alone, and into the night.
I often wonder what exactly was going through the kid's head as he placed that Sade 45 into his backpack on his way out the door, as he headed to a funk party at a popular local bar that boasts an internet jukebox. Whatever it was, one thing is for certain, I miss that kid, I really do.
Dood, that is a must play situation. I would love to drop something like that especially as weird as it would be for the crawd. Over the years I have learned that every dance floor is one play of Sex Machine away from being packed. So why not take a chance or fuck around.
I definitely see where you're coming from, but with it being our first night I wasn't particularly eager to test the loyalty of the crowd, you know?. In any case, I'll reiterate again that this was a prime example of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts. The request itself wasn't all that lame as requests go, but the way the situation played out was just bonkers.
The ones that really annoy the fuck out of me are the stupid eccy kids who are gurning all night talking to you as though we were both at a bar having a chat. Wanting me to show them how to mix etc... While I try to mix records. Pissheads you just fob off with comments like, 'yeah in about 20mins I'll play Krafty Kuts for you'. And whack on a L.O.N.S 12"...
That 'Its my friends birthday' scenario must be totallly universal. Umpteen times I've had that corker. Or the 'So what have you got?' question whilst playing...
Or like the early bird chick off her trolley who turned up when i was playing a warm-up set of soul & downtempo & asking if I could play more uptemo music (then proceeeds to show me how she wants to dance...typical unco white girl moves). In her 'conversation with me she proceeds to lift her braless top over her head, whilst grinding her teeth. My mates all start laughing off the side thinking i'm in for the night. Yet she did it all with one of those zombie looks that the young'uns have when they have really had way to much stupid shit during tier initial 'clubbing' stage. Weird thing is, she was all by herself & from the major burbs. The clincher though was the comment, 'Where am I?. I said the venue's name. She said, 'No where abouts am I? What suburb'. That's when I knew it was time to grab security & get her arse seated.
I always think, these chicks are seriously going to get messed up by some wrong dudes if they're unlucky.
Or the time this extremely effeminate, verging on semi-tranny young dude (the odd disturbing androgynous look) was dancing like a loon all night on the stage in front of the decks & at the end of the night handed me a card & said, 'If you ever need someone to dance for you, give me a call'. This was at a hip hop funk boogie night we did in Kings X. Go figure.
No bouncers do not generally have your back. I have asked them many times to throw drunk girls out of the club and they don't do it. Then sure enough by the end of the night the same girls I was asking them to throw out are creating some type of drama with someone! I did this NFL players birthday party with Kid Capri. the girl promoter told me I had to wear a dress shirt and a tie that it was going to be an upscale affair. She said even the dj coming from ny was dressing up. So I'm there and playing and the dude whos party it is is there with a white tee on and jeans with like 20 of his boys and they are all dressed the same. You would have sworn dem franchise boys was in the building. It's almost 1:00am and the party gets over at 2:00am and Capri finally rolls in with a new era fitted and a track suit! Of course. So I get off the wheels and go over to the v.i.p area and have a seat. A few minutes later some dude taps my shoulder and tells me "we are ready to go". I told him good why the fuck u telling me? he said "aren't u the limo" driver"!!!! Shit was killing me.
so im djing in a bar that is hosting the afterparty for the Dutch idol reality show. (a few years back now) needless to say, the room is full of B and C celebrities, local scenesters and lots of wannabes. That night has provided me with more 'stupid request' qoutes than i care to remember.
Dutch tv host whore #232 "PLAY THE BIRTHDAY SONG! PLAY THE BIRTHDAY SONG!" (50 cent)
Idols winner "Play MY song" (over and over, the whole fucking night)
MTV Whore #123002 "Do you have any unreleased white label 12"s?" (seriously)
Wannabe #72 "yo, play some Hiphop" (as im playing hiphop)
and the kicker, the best comment ive ever had, courtesy of drunk middle aged camp as a row of tents Dutch TV presenter "your music is shit, but id still fuck you".
heres a photo of the guy
i also played a wedding a few years back and was called a stupid cunt by the father of the bride because i didnt have the chicken dance.
Comments
Naw, see the problem is that any DJ is, say, a pizza joint (or Thai, or Italian, or Soul Food, it don't matter) and almost every audience is expecting an all you can eat buffet of their personal favorite food! In other words, this battle is eternal.
oh yeah shout out to my man PJ:
is that pj doin' the hand jive???
I often wonder what exactly was going through the kid's head as he placed that Sade 45 into his backpack on his way out the door, as he headed to a funk party at a popular local bar that boasts an internet jukebox. Whatever it was, one thing is for certain, I miss that kid, I really do.
someone mentioned Bruce Willis asking for Schooly D before, was that true ?
I think that same girl came to my club for a month straight and hasn't beens een since!
SADE is doep though
But honestly....what on EARTH prompts someone to bring a record out to a bar with him AND prompts him to try to get a total stranger to play it? jeeeezus.
You should have invited her to inspect your laptop.
yeah that was Cosmo.
yeah, i agree that's pretty crazy...people like that are out there though
i just rememeberd that once some guy went out to his car to get some drum & bass 12 inch, cause he went thru some effort to give me a record i cued it up, i told him that i don't really play stuff like that and i wasnt into it and he had a very sad look on his face.
but SADE is dope, that song "your love is king" or "hang on to your love"
Amir
Yeah he asked for Stevie V "Dirty Cash" and I didn't have it. Then he asked for "that Schoolly D song from King of New York" so I played "Saturday Night" and he was with it. Dude was pretty cool actually.
Jaime Foxx requested D'Angelo "Left & Right" from me.
I've had some really great requests. I've had some really bad ones as well, such as the guy who's walked up to the DJ booth and goes "Hey lemme get 2 Coronas."
Plaese understand that I'm not knocking Sade, or the fact that the kid requested her in the slightest. Hell, I'm not even knocking the absurdly inappropriate timing of the request (i.e. full dancefloor, uptempo funk blasting out the speakers). What struck me as remarkable about the event is that I found the reasoning behind the act completely imprenetrable. I mean, I simply could not for the life of me figure out why the kid would bring a record like Sade to a night billed as a funk party. Seriously, think about what the act entails for a moment and then try to explain it. Keep in mind that we are not talking about some one-off, homemade record that this kid found in his parents' basement, or a soul record that his uncle played on, we are talking about an artist that can be heard on probably 60% of the country's jukeboxes, so I can hardly imagine he envisioned this soul/funk night as his sole opportunity to drink a beer and listen to "Smooth Operator". So what alternatives does that leave? Was he hoping to stand out as more than just your average soul fan in the eyes of the DJs? Was he hoping we'd drop the Sade 45 and then shout him out to the crowd as the provider of this massive cut that none of us have ever heard played into the ground by every easy listening station in America? The whole interaction just had this weird rehearsed feeling to it that gave me the immediate impression that this was more than just someone who looking to hear some Sade.
In any case, whatever his reason, I'm certainly well past the point of overanalyzation, so I'm going to just leave it alone. Apologies for the unecessarily long post.
also, i didn't think you were knocking SADE, i just felt like re-stating that she was dope.
what if he just picked up that 45 earlier in the day at happened to have it on him? or are you pretty sure it was a pre medidated act
I suppose there's no way to know for certain (unless he lurks here...fingers crossed), but my immediate intuition was that the act was absolutely premeditated.
Shoulda given him Dos Equis. On his eyelids. And told his corpse that's how international hip house gangstas roll.
Dood, that is a must play situation. I would love to drop something like that especially as weird as it would be for the crawd. Over the years I have learned that every dance floor is one play of Sex Machine away from being packed. So why not take a chance or fuck around.
I definitely see where you're coming from, but with it being our first night I wasn't particularly eager to test the loyalty of the crowd, you know?. In any case, I'll reiterate again that this was a prime example of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts. The request itself wasn't all that lame as requests go, but the way the situation played out was just bonkers.
WTF am I still doing up?
The ones that really annoy the fuck out of me are the stupid eccy kids who are gurning all night talking to you as though we were both at a bar having a chat. Wanting me to show them how to mix etc... While I try to mix records. Pissheads you just fob off with comments like, 'yeah in about 20mins I'll play Krafty Kuts for you'. And whack on a L.O.N.S 12"...
That 'Its my friends birthday' scenario must be totallly universal. Umpteen times I've had that corker. Or the 'So what have you got?' question whilst playing...
Or like the early bird chick off her trolley who turned up when i was playing a warm-up set of soul & downtempo & asking if I could play more uptemo music (then proceeeds to show me how she wants to dance...typical unco white girl moves). In her 'conversation with me she proceeds to lift her braless top over her head, whilst grinding her teeth. My mates all start laughing off the side thinking i'm in for the night. Yet she did it all with one of those zombie looks that the young'uns have when they have really had way to much stupid shit during tier initial 'clubbing' stage. Weird thing is, she was all by herself & from the major burbs. The clincher though was the comment, 'Where am I?. I said the venue's name. She said, 'No where abouts am I? What suburb'. That's when I knew it was time to grab security & get her arse seated.
I always think, these chicks are seriously going to get messed up by some wrong dudes if they're unlucky.
Or the time this extremely effeminate, verging on semi-tranny young dude (the odd disturbing androgynous look) was dancing like a loon all night on the stage in front of the decks & at the end of the night handed me a card & said, 'If you ever need someone to dance for you, give me a call'. This was at a hip hop funk boogie night we did in Kings X. Go figure.
2) Who's here actually had to call a bouncer over to throw some dumb ass out? And in general, do bouncers really have your back?
needless to say, the room is full of B and C celebrities, local scenesters and lots of wannabes.
That night has provided me with more 'stupid request' qoutes than i care to remember.
Dutch tv host whore #232 "PLAY THE BIRTHDAY SONG! PLAY THE BIRTHDAY SONG!" (50 cent)
Idols winner "Play MY song" (over and over, the whole fucking night)
MTV Whore #123002 "Do you have any unreleased white label 12"s?" (seriously)
Wannabe #72 "yo, play some Hiphop" (as im playing hiphop)
and the kicker, the best comment ive ever had, courtesy of drunk middle aged camp as a row of tents Dutch TV presenter "your music is shit, but id still fuck you".
heres a photo of the guy
i also played a wedding a few years back and was called a stupid cunt by the father of the bride because i didnt have the chicken dance.
i dont dj any more.