as much as i try to not judge and shit, whenever i see a mufuckah eating ten cheeseburgers and washing shit down with a large coke, i can't help but shake my head. this one dude alwayws comes into my cafe and has trouble walking cos he's so fat, his hands shake cos he's so fat, and what does he buy? a slice of cheesecake and some iced tea that has like 20% of the sugar you need for the day. shit cant be helping.. I do think that a lot of people just give up and that is kinda depressing if you think about it
shit is a drug, for real... everything you put into your body is a chemical, and people get addicted to sugar/fat just like people get addicted to booze, cigarettes, and pills...
as much as i try to not judge and shit, whenever i see a mufuckah eating ten cheeseburgers and washing shit down with a large coke, i can't help but shake my head. this one dude alwayws comes into my cafe and has trouble walking cos he's so fat, his hands shake cos he's so fat, and what does he buy? a slice of cheesecake and some iced tea that has like 20% of the sugar you need for the day. shit cant be helping.. I do think that a lot of people just give up and that is kinda depressing if you think about it
shit is a drug, for real... everything you put into your body is a chemical, and people get addicted to sugar/fat just like people get addicted to booze, cigarettes, and pills...
this kind of attitude makes it easy not to take responsibility for what you may be doing to yourself though, don't you think?
as much as i try to not judge and shit, whenever i see a mufuckah eating ten cheeseburgers and washing shit down with a large coke, i can't help but shake my head. this one dude alwayws comes into my cafe and has trouble walking cos he's so fat, his hands shake cos he's so fat, and what does he buy? a slice of cheesecake and some iced tea that has like 20% of the sugar you need for the day. shit cant be helping.. I do think that a lot of people just give up and that is kinda depressing if you think about it
shit is a drug, for real... everything you put into your body is a chemical, and people get addicted to sugar/fat just like people get addicted to booze, cigarettes, and pills...
this kind of attitude makes it easy not to take responsibility for what you may be doing to yourself though, don't you think?
i would say just the opposite. if you realize how serious what you're putting into your body is, then you will take it more seriously than if it's just "food".
yes, in our pass the buck culture ("it's not my fault, i'm an alcoholic"), people are all too willing not to accept personal responsibility for ANYTHING, but i feel that recognizing that you can become addicted to sugar/fat the same way as with drugs is a better step towards dealing with the problem than the more traditional excuses overweight people usually give...
once you know ANYTHING you do is killing you, whether it's smoking, heroin, whatever, if you continue to indulge in that behavior, it's no one's fault but your own...
Ha! This reminds of that article in The Onion: "TV Exercise Show Viewed for Almost Entirely Nonaerobic Purpose."
I've always been blessed/cursed with a crazy fast metabolism, though it is starting to slow down. In the past year or so, I've been trying to make some better choices about what I eat (though I still have a pretty eager sweet tooth, no doubt), and I've taken up running on a regular basis and am getting back into basketball as well. I've seen pictures of my pops when he was my age, and we look frighteningly similar; nowadays, my pops has a big ol' gut, and I'm trying to head that process off before it really gets going.
To me, the biggest issue is self-discipline. There's always the urge to be lazy, not go running, and instead sit on the couch and satisfy my sweet tooth. But a half-hour of running and a sensible meal (not necessarily the healthiest of the healthy, but not a bunch of crap and empty calories, either) make me feel a lot better overall.
1. Controlling portions 2. No fast foods 3. Putting more vegetables in my meals 4. Switching from regular to diet sodas 5. Drinking more coffee (good appetite suppressant) - ?????[/b] 6. Walking a lot more
i ain't no big shot nutritionist or nothing, but from what i've heard, drinking coffee to lose weight is not a good plan
1. Controlling portions 2. No fast foods 3. Putting more vegetables in my meals 4. Switching from regular to diet sodas 5. Drinking more coffee (good appetite suppressant) - ?????[/b] 6. Walking a lot more
i ain't no big shot nutritionist or nothing, but from what i've heard, drinking coffee to lose weight is not a good plan
1. Controlling portions 2. No fast foods 3. Putting more vegetables in my meals 4. Switching from regular to diet sodas 5. Drinking more coffee (good appetite suppressant) - ?????[/b] 6. Walking a lot more
i ain't no big shot nutritionist or nothing, but from what i've heard, drinking coffee to lose weight is not a good plan
word. also not putting any sugar in your coffee helps as well. i started doing that about 3 months ago. at first it was nasty but now i dig the taste, you can actually taste the coffee beans.
i've been definatly trying to watch what i eat lately. have eaten fast food three times in the last 14 months. eat lots of veggies and fruits, cut down sugar and also excercising (although I'm not doing that as much as I should). I have to say part of it was started by reading what people had to say on here. Just helped me to get motivated.
I'm definatly in the worst shape of my life (I used to play sports for pretty much the first 17 years of my life). I'm not really that fat (maybe 15 pounds over weight) but I'm fatter than my father was at 30 and he is a total fat ass now. Like the last person to post I definatly want to cut that trend short.
anyone got the Slim Goodbody record? I need to lose about 50 pounds or so...gold label Fanias for trade.
He has a number of records, but I have this one. "Your Mouth Is A House" has a bass/guitar riff in the intro worth chopping up. Oddly enough, I used it in "i'm healthy (tuesday)", go figure.
Looking back, I find it funny that Slim Goodbody's records were available through the offer on the back of a Kraft Macaroni & Cheese box.
as much as i try to not judge and shit, whenever i see a mufuckah eating ten cheeseburgers and washing shit down with a large coke, i can't help but shake my head.
why do people even bother with diet coke? If you're on a diet don't be drinking that shit..........invariably it's mostly overweight people ordering diet coke. The whole diet phenomenon baffles me. Life is too black and white nowadays, it's either pig out or extreme diet. There needs to be some balance, you wouldn't need to diet if you lead a healthy lifestyle to begin with. Short term fixes never work, you might lose the weight, but will gain it back once you revert to your routines.
I love my fatty meats like brisket, pork belly, oxtail etc, but I also love my baby carrot sticks and baby spinach. It's just about portion control and moderation. Doesn't hurt to have some fatty meats, just balance it out w/ some vegetables. Plus you need some fat in your diet anyway, can't totally eliminate that. The main goal is trying to differentiate saturated vs non saturated fats, or processed vs natural foods.
People are too used to taking shortcuts in cooking, the whole 30 min meal thing is terrible. We're robbing ourselves of traditional cooking, all in the name of speed. Fuck that shit, this is where I'm at....
If you pay attention to the layout of supermarkets, the peripherial areas are where you should do most of your shopping in. Avoid the centre, where aisles of processed foods reside.
oh yeah, people eat way too fast too, surefire way to get fat. You don't realize you're full until it's too late. My pops is overweight and it pains me to see him act like this, he's a stubborn asian patriach, unfortunately too set in his ways.
If you pay attention to the layout of supermarkets, the peripherial areas are where you should do most of your shopping in. Avoid the centre, where aisles of processed foods reside.
You know, oddly enough now that I think about it when I go shopping I rarely hit the middle of the store. I hit up the produce section at the front of the store when I walk in, then I hit up the meat section and buy either boneless skinless chicken breast or low-fat ground turkey. In the actual aisles the only things I grab are bread, lunchmeat, some canned items such as beans or some veggies, oatmeal on the ceral aisle, and that's really it. Everything else I get is on the perimeter such as milk, cottage cheese, eggs, etc. I buy the occasional frozen food item but these days I mostly make fresh food.
I tell you what though, the best thing going as far as eating healthy is fresh steamed veggies. I got my first vegetable steamer back around 7 years ago and I've never eaten the same since. When I was a kid my mom served us veggies out of cans and since it's all I ever knew I didn't think anything of it. After getting my steamer I started tasting what fresh veggies *should* taste like. Green beans from a can loaded with salt? Ick. Spinach, also loaded with salt? Gross. And the worst of all... Soggy asparagus in a can? After having fresh steamed asparagus I can't believe I ate that soggy canned crap for so long. Steaming veggies is so damned easy too it's great for lazy people. You put water in the steamer, put the veggies in the thing, set the timer and wait, and that's it. It doesn't get much easier than that.
If you have been overweight for most of your life like I have, sooner or later it will catch up with you. What you need to do, however, is be alive to realize that. I was ignorant to health issues for years, and in my 29th year I realized that I was about to hit a milestone in my life and I needed to make changes. Started exercising and walking, was able to climb Diamond Head for my birthday.
Going back 10 years before that, I went on a diet and was able to lose 50 pounds in six months. It felt good, but that didn't last. When I was a news producer, I always put up health stories on our newscasts to help others, taking in that information but oddly not using it on myself.
Eventually it DOES catch up with you, but hopefully when it does you will be alive to make the changes.
The last few years I've been through some personal ups and downs, trying to prioritize a lot of things, basically trying to get my shit back together. But a few things that happened to be last year woke me up in a serious manner. Being in a car accident was the big one. I know I got into this last year when Supreme was getting into health and weight issues, but I want to bring it up again. After the moment of impact, I kept on saying to myself "please not now, please not now, please not now, I'm not ready to go." Too many things to do, too many people to see. I know in spiritual circles they often talk about a need to seek an "authentic life", and at that moment any sense of ego was gone. For a moment, anyway. As I sat in the car with glass all over me, I moved my arms and fingers. Works. Moved my feet and legs. Works. I said "good, now I can play the non-existent drum set that I have in my non-existent castle." The ego came back. Later that morning, I thought about why I was here when others would not have made it in a similar accident. I talked with the guy who towed my car away, and he said I should have been dead if the damage to the car was any indication.
A few months later, I had my birthday and went through a few personal reflections. What got to me was the fact that I would soon surpass the age that my dad died. I also realized that I've lived this long, and I have essentially lived half a life. I want to be able to live another half, and perhaps add another 10 years to that. Yet I've done a lot of damage to my health, that it will take a willing effort from me in order to accomplish that. Around Xmas I came across a book by Angeles Arrient called The Second Half Of Life[/b], and on the title along I had to buy it. The book basically says that in time, all of us will come to a decision where we want to be able to live out dreams that we may not have accomplished in the first half of our lives. Or that in the first half, we prepare to become something as an adult, only for some of those childhood ambitions to be put in the back of our minds due to the responsibilities we have to abide to. By being able to fulfill those dreams, one may find some sense of happiness. The book goes through this by touching on various beliefs and philosophies, and gets into the idea that we go through some kind of mental initiation process, the "Eight Gates Of Wisdom". It's kind of an instructional thing, and I began thinking in hip-hop metaphor, kind of like Killah Priest's "Basic Instructions Before Living Earth". Anyway, the "initiation" is basically a path towards getting old, becoming "mature", and having faith in the wisdom you have gained through experience. That follows into shedding ones ego and simply letting go, and being happy with what life has given you. In time, it's dealing with the inevitable. Inbetween, it suggests that we can all leave something behind, to be able to pass on that wisdom and try to strengthen the relationships we have towards one another.
I know, I'm probably getting too deep, but that shit affected me big time. It hit me hard that in a way, life is short, and that essentially I'm on the other half of the timeline. I'm conscious of that now, and sadly it had taken me this long to "wake up". I blame myself for waiting, but I'm here and I'm alive. I've been walking and exercising for the last eight months, and have seen progress. Once you get hooked on exercising and walking, it becomes an addiction. I look forward to getting started every day. I also look forward to waking up. I eat less than what I did in the last few years, and I'm making adjustments in my diet. That is easier said than done, but I am getting better.
I now fight to live, and it feels good to do so.
Dealing with fat issues, in terms of how the world looks at me, is also part of the struggle, but I can't change that. I am who I am, my mind is capable of anything and yet I'm going to be looked at for how big I am. I figure since I'm struggling to get thinner, in the meantime if they want something to look at, I'll give them something worth looking at.
People who have been skinny all of their lives will never know what fat people go through. One would expect the stares and finger pointing coming from kids, but when you hear adults say it, you question people on their bullshit. The whole "ewwwww, he's fat." Nah, really? Like I want to be carrying all of this weight around for the hell of it. Or to have people pat me on the back or shoulder all the time because they want to know how a fat person feels like. Fuck that, go squeeze your mom.
I tell you what though, the best thing going as far as eating healthy is fresh steamed veggies. I got my first vegetable steamer back around 7 years ago and I've never eaten the same since. When I was a kid my mom served us veggies out of cans and since it's all I ever knew I didn't think anything of it. After getting my steamer I started tasting what fresh veggies *should* taste like. Green beans from a can loaded with salt? Ick. Spinach, also loaded with salt? Gross. And the worst of all... Soggy asparagus in a can? After having fresh steamed asparagus I can't believe I ate that soggy canned crap for so long. Steaming veggies is so damned easy too it's great for lazy people. You put water in the steamer, put the veggies in the thing, set the timer and wait, and that's it. It doesn't get much easier than that.
I agree with you. I know we mentioned this before last year, but if anyone has access to a farmer's market, take advantage of it. If all you have are supermarkets that's fine, but make an effort to go to farmer's markets or local farmers and support them. Not only will you be helping them, but you also get some good food in the process. Everything is seasonal of course, and those in cold states/countries aren't going to have them until late spring or so, but take advantage of it.
I also know some areas in bigger cities have land assigned specifically for "urban farming", which means like weed, you can grow your own. Kind of like when you go to a flea market and you see the family with their truckload of bok choy.
again. After the moment of impact, I kept on saying to myself "please not now, please not now, please not now, I'm not ready to go." Too many things to do, too many people to see. I know in spiritual circles they often talk about a need to seek an "authentic life", and at that moment any sense of ego was gone. For a moment, anyway. As I sat in the car with glass all over me, I moved my arms and fingers. Works. Moved my feet and legs. Works. I said "good, now I can play the non-existent drum set that I have in my non-existent castle." The ego came back. Later that morning, I thought about why I was here when others would not have made it in a similar accident. I talked with the guy who towed my car away, and he said I should have been dead if the damage to the car was any indication.
You know, anytime something life-altering occurs I think it's natural for us to assess our life. I remember when my gall bladder stopped working but I hadn't seen a doctor yet and I constantly was in pain, feeling like I was dying. I had a fatalistic feeling, like maybe I had cancer or something serious and at times I was in so much pain I almost wished I was dead. You find yourself thinking "if only I can make it through this I'm going to change my life for the better." Maybe for a short time afterwards you do. I think it's human nature though that once things get back to normal you just get back in the flow of things and revert to old habits.
When my mom was in a car accident 3 years ago and almost died that was something that seriously made me think through my life. When your mom's laying comatose in a hospital bed you really start to think to yourself that from now on you have to live life like this day is your last because it damn well could be. I remember around that time thinking all kinds of grandiose thoughts about how I was going to seize life by the balls and make all these changes. You know, do all the things I've always intended to do but never got around to. Over time though my mom pulled through and life got back to normal and the more distance between you and that urgent time the more you let your guard down and again revert back to old habits. Back 3 years ago I convinced myself that I was finally going to get in shape, going to make something of my life, find a job, get a girl, etc, etc and here I am 3 years later in essentially the same place I was back then.
When my mom was in a car accident 3 years ago and almost died that was something that seriously made me think through my life. When your mom's laying comatose in a hospital bed you really start to think to yourself that from now on you have to live life like this day is your last because it damn well could be. I remember around that time thinking all kinds of grandiose thoughts about how I was going to seize life by the balls and make all these changes. You know, do all the things I've always intended to do but never got around to. Over time though my mom pulled through and life got back to normal and the more distance between you and that urgent time the more you let your guard down and again revert back to old habits. Back 3 years ago I convinced myself that I was finally going to get in shape, going to make something of my life, find a job, get a girl, etc, etc and here I am 3 years later in essentially the same place I was back then.
Again, that's the struggle, and it is definitely "easier said than done", you know this as well. I know how easy it can be to slip into an old habit. I do look forward to walking every day, yet I may take the weekend off and Monday comes around, and I think "oh no, I'll wait until later". That's when I have to push myself, knowing that if I get to walking or exercising early, I'm able to take on the rest of the day.
It is a challenge, but I feel that after doing it for the last seven months or so, I can push myself.
I also read a book called Voices Of Wisdom: Hawaiian Elders Speak and it got to me on a more personal level. I needed motivation, and for that to be honest. It wasn't about "finish the album by October" or "try to contribute to three different magazines or newspapers", those are good goals but it had to truly affect me as a person, not just for monetary gain. It definitely is not easy, but for now I have found a path that I like and I'm taking it. With more of an effort on my part, I'll be able to meet one of my goals. Support from family and friends always helps, but sometimes they may not provide that, and that can be difficult. Go for self, and with determination one can see that goal in front of them. The goal is what I want, but the struggle is what's going to get me there, and that's pretty much been my philosophy for most of my life. Except this time it has to do more than just wanting a Grammy for "Best Remix" or "Best Liner Notes In A Box Set - Polka".
Comments
Just listened to this yesterday! Love this record...
shit is a drug, for real... everything you put into your body is a chemical, and people get addicted to sugar/fat just like people get addicted to booze, cigarettes, and pills...
this kind of attitude makes it easy not to take responsibility for what you may be doing to yourself though, don't you think?
i would say just the opposite. if you realize how serious what you're putting into your body is, then you will take it more seriously than if it's just "food".
yes, in our pass the buck culture ("it's not my fault, i'm an alcoholic"), people are all too willing not to accept personal responsibility for ANYTHING, but i feel that recognizing that you can become addicted to sugar/fat the same way as with drugs is a better step towards dealing with the problem than the more traditional excuses overweight people usually give...
once you know ANYTHING you do is killing you, whether it's smoking, heroin, whatever, if you continue to indulge in that behavior, it's no one's fault but your own...
Ha! This reminds of that article in The Onion: "TV Exercise Show Viewed for Almost Entirely Nonaerobic Purpose."
I've always been blessed/cursed with a crazy fast metabolism, though it is starting to slow down. In the past year or so, I've been trying to make some better choices about what I eat (though I still have a pretty eager sweet tooth, no doubt), and I've taken up running on a regular basis and am getting back into basketball as well. I've seen pictures of my pops when he was my age, and we look frighteningly similar; nowadays, my pops has a big ol' gut, and I'm trying to head that process off before it really gets going.
To me, the biggest issue is self-discipline. There's always the urge to be lazy, not go running, and instead sit on the couch and satisfy my sweet tooth. But a half-hour of running and a sensible meal (not necessarily the healthiest of the healthy, but not a bunch of crap and empty calories, either) make me feel a lot better overall.
i ain't no big shot nutritionist or nothing, but from what i've heard, drinking coffee to lose weight is not a good plan
Meth works better than coffee ever will.
Ahahaha, I actually have that record dude. Worst record cover ever, presented by Kraft cheese if memory serves correct.
word. also not putting any sugar in your coffee helps as well. i started doing that about 3 months ago. at first it was nasty but now i dig the taste, you can actually taste the coffee beans.
i've been definatly trying to watch what i eat lately. have eaten fast food three times in the last 14 months. eat lots of veggies and fruits, cut down sugar and also excercising (although I'm not doing that as much as I should). I have to say part of it was started by reading what people had to say on here. Just helped me to get motivated.
I'm definatly in the worst shape of my life (I used to play sports for pretty much the first 17 years of my life). I'm not really that fat (maybe 15 pounds over weight) but I'm fatter than my father was at 30 and he is a total fat ass now. Like the last person to post I definatly want to cut that trend short.
He has a number of records, but I have this one. "Your Mouth Is A House" has a bass/guitar riff in the intro worth chopping up. Oddly enough, I used it in "i'm healthy (tuesday)", go figure.
Looking back, I find it funny that Slim Goodbody's records were available through the offer on the back of a Kraft Macaroni & Cheese box.
Moreso if it's a diet coke.
I love my fatty meats like brisket, pork belly, oxtail etc, but I also love my baby carrot sticks and baby spinach. It's just about portion control and moderation. Doesn't hurt to have some fatty meats, just balance it out w/ some vegetables. Plus you need some fat in your diet anyway, can't totally eliminate that. The main goal is trying to differentiate saturated vs non saturated fats, or processed vs natural foods.
People are too used to taking shortcuts in cooking, the whole 30 min meal thing is terrible. We're robbing ourselves of traditional cooking, all in the name of speed. Fuck that shit, this is where I'm at....
If you pay attention to the layout of supermarkets, the peripherial areas are where you should do most of your shopping in. Avoid the centre, where aisles of processed foods reside.
oh yeah, people eat way too fast too, surefire way to get fat. You don't realize you're full until it's too late. My pops is overweight and it pains me to see him act like this, he's a stubborn asian patriach, unfortunately too set in his ways.
You know, oddly enough now that I think about it when I go shopping I rarely hit the middle of the store. I hit up the produce section at the front of the store when I walk in, then I hit up the meat section and buy either boneless skinless chicken breast or low-fat ground turkey. In the actual aisles the only things I grab are bread, lunchmeat, some canned items such as beans or some veggies, oatmeal on the ceral aisle, and that's really it. Everything else I get is on the perimeter such as milk, cottage cheese, eggs, etc. I buy the occasional frozen food item but these days I mostly make fresh food.
I tell you what though, the best thing going as far as eating healthy is fresh steamed veggies. I got my first vegetable steamer back around 7 years ago and I've never eaten the same since. When I was a kid my mom served us veggies out of cans and since it's all I ever knew I didn't think anything of it. After getting my steamer I started tasting what fresh veggies *should* taste like. Green beans from a can loaded with salt? Ick. Spinach, also loaded with salt? Gross. And the worst of all... Soggy asparagus in a can? After having fresh steamed asparagus I can't believe I ate that soggy canned crap for so long. Steaming veggies is so damned easy too it's great for lazy people. You put water in the steamer, put the veggies in the thing, set the timer and wait, and that's it. It doesn't get much easier than that.
If you have been overweight for most of your life like I have, sooner or later it will catch up with you. What you need to do, however, is be alive to realize that. I was ignorant to health issues for years, and in my 29th year I realized that I was about to hit a milestone in my life and I needed to make changes. Started exercising and walking, was able to climb Diamond Head for my birthday.
Going back 10 years before that, I went on a diet and was able to lose 50 pounds in six months. It felt good, but that didn't last. When I was a news producer, I always put up health stories on our newscasts to help others, taking in that information but oddly not using it on myself.
Eventually it DOES catch up with you, but hopefully when it does you will be alive to make the changes.
The last few years I've been through some personal ups and downs, trying to prioritize a lot of things, basically trying to get my shit back together. But a few things that happened to be last year woke me up in a serious manner. Being in a car accident was the big one. I know I got into this last year when Supreme was getting into health and weight issues, but I want to bring it up again. After the moment of impact, I kept on saying to myself "please not now, please not now, please not now, I'm not ready to go." Too many things to do, too many people to see. I know in spiritual circles they often talk about a need to seek an "authentic life", and at that moment any sense of ego was gone. For a moment, anyway. As I sat in the car with glass all over me, I moved my arms and fingers. Works. Moved my feet and legs. Works. I said "good, now I can play the non-existent drum set that I have in my non-existent castle." The ego came back. Later that morning, I thought about why I was here when others would not have made it in a similar accident. I talked with the guy who towed my car away, and he said I should have been dead if the damage to the car was any indication.
A few months later, I had my birthday and went through a few personal reflections. What got to me was the fact that I would soon surpass the age that my dad died. I also realized that I've lived this long, and I have essentially lived half a life. I want to be able to live another half, and perhaps add another 10 years to that. Yet I've done a lot of damage to my health, that it will take a willing effort from me in order to accomplish that. Around Xmas I came across a book by Angeles Arrient called The Second Half Of Life[/b], and on the title along I had to buy it. The book basically says that in time, all of us will come to a decision where we want to be able to live out dreams that we may not have accomplished in the first half of our lives. Or that in the first half, we prepare to become something as an adult, only for some of those childhood ambitions to be put in the back of our minds due to the responsibilities we have to abide to. By being able to fulfill those dreams, one may find some sense of happiness. The book goes through this by touching on various beliefs and philosophies, and gets into the idea that we go through some kind of mental initiation process, the "Eight Gates Of Wisdom". It's kind of an instructional thing, and I began thinking in hip-hop metaphor, kind of like Killah Priest's "Basic Instructions Before Living Earth". Anyway, the "initiation" is basically a path towards getting old, becoming "mature", and having faith in the wisdom you have gained through experience. That follows into shedding ones ego and simply letting go, and being happy with what life has given you. In time, it's dealing with the inevitable. Inbetween, it suggests that we can all leave something behind, to be able to pass on that wisdom and try to strengthen the relationships we have towards one another.
I know, I'm probably getting too deep, but that shit affected me big time. It hit me hard that in a way, life is short, and that essentially I'm on the other half of the timeline. I'm conscious of that now, and sadly it had taken me this long to "wake up". I blame myself for waiting, but I'm here and I'm alive. I've been walking and exercising for the last eight months, and have seen progress. Once you get hooked on exercising and walking, it becomes an addiction. I look forward to getting started every day. I also look forward to waking up. I eat less than what I did in the last few years, and I'm making adjustments in my diet. That is easier said than done, but I am getting better.
I now fight to live, and it feels good to do so.
Dealing with fat issues, in terms of how the world looks at me, is also part of the struggle, but I can't change that. I am who I am, my mind is capable of anything and yet I'm going to be looked at for how big I am. I figure since I'm struggling to get thinner, in the meantime if they want something to look at, I'll give them something worth looking at.
People who have been skinny all of their lives will never know what fat people go through. One would expect the stares and finger pointing coming from kids, but when you hear adults say it, you question people on their bullshit. The whole "ewwwww, he's fat." Nah, really? Like I want to be carrying all of this weight around for the hell of it. Or to have people pat me on the back or shoulder all the time because they want to know how a fat person feels like. Fuck that, go squeeze your mom.
I agree with you. I know we mentioned this before last year, but if anyone has access to a farmer's market, take advantage of it. If all you have are supermarkets that's fine, but make an effort to go to farmer's markets or local farmers and support them. Not only will you be helping them, but you also get some good food in the process. Everything is seasonal of course, and those in cold states/countries aren't going to have them until late spring or so, but take advantage of it.
I also know some areas in bigger cities have land assigned specifically for "urban farming", which means like weed, you can grow your own. Kind of like when you go to a flea market and you see the family with their truckload of bok choy.
You know, anytime something life-altering occurs I think it's natural for us to assess our life. I remember when my gall bladder stopped working but I hadn't seen a doctor yet and I constantly was in pain, feeling like I was dying. I had a fatalistic feeling, like maybe I had cancer or something serious and at times I was in so much pain I almost wished I was dead. You find yourself thinking "if only I can make it through this I'm going to change my life for the better." Maybe for a short time afterwards you do. I think it's human nature though that once things get back to normal you just get back in the flow of things and revert to old habits.
When my mom was in a car accident 3 years ago and almost died that was something that seriously made me think through my life. When your mom's laying comatose in a hospital bed you really start to think to yourself that from now on you have to live life like this day is your last because it damn well could be. I remember around that time thinking all kinds of grandiose thoughts about how I was going to seize life by the balls and make all these changes. You know, do all the things I've always intended to do but never got around to. Over time though my mom pulled through and life got back to normal and the more distance between you and that urgent time the more you let your guard down and again revert back to old habits. Back 3 years ago I convinced myself that I was finally going to get in shape, going to make something of my life, find a job, get a girl, etc, etc and here I am 3 years later in essentially the same place I was back then.
Again, that's the struggle, and it is definitely "easier said than done", you know this as well. I know how easy it can be to slip into an old habit. I do look forward to walking every day, yet I may take the weekend off and Monday comes around, and I think "oh no, I'll wait until later". That's when I have to push myself, knowing that if I get to walking or exercising early, I'm able to take on the rest of the day.
It is a challenge, but I feel that after doing it for the last seven months or so, I can push myself.
I also read a book called Voices Of Wisdom: Hawaiian Elders Speak and it got to me on a more personal level. I needed motivation, and for that to be honest. It wasn't about "finish the album by October" or "try to contribute to three different magazines or newspapers", those are good goals but it had to truly affect me as a person, not just for monetary gain. It definitely is not easy, but for now I have found a path that I like and I'm taking it. With more of an effort on my part, I'll be able to meet one of my goals. Support from family and friends always helps, but sometimes they may not provide that, and that can be difficult. Go for self, and with determination one can see that goal in front of them. The goal is what I want, but the struggle is what's going to get me there, and that's pretty much been my philosophy for most of my life. Except this time it has to do more than just wanting a Grammy for "Best Remix" or "Best Liner Notes In A Box Set - Polka".