Is there anything more horrible than Smooth Jazz??

Planet · November 2005

That's a hard question to answer. Give me some ideas

teddyrosso · November 2005

That's a hard question to answer. Give me some ideas

Lay off the kenny g .. early benson joints are welcome though

youngEINSTEIN · November 2005

That's a hard question to answer. Give me some ideas

it's mostly wack but i do like a few things. paul hardcastle did a few albums as THE JAZZ MASTERS. which are bangin. peace, stein. . .

AlGarth · November 2005

YES.

MASH UPS.

THE WORST THING TO HAPPEN TO MUSIC SINCE DAVID HASSELHOFF.

NachoManCandySandwich · November 2005

Let's put it this way...

Your car flips while doing 70 on the freeway. You're trapped inside the mangled iron shell and the smell of leaked gasoline is the only distraction from the blinding pain of your left left arm having been severed. Oh, and the car's radio got knocked to a random station.
As you slip into darkness from the massive blood-loss would you rather have the last notes you hear be:

or

?

I guess I'd have to go with the "smooth vibes," although wishing desperately for death's sweet embrace.

Goodnight!

jeny · November 2005

That's a hard question to answer. Give me some ideas

COUNTRY & DEATHMETAL

batmon · November 2005

Do the math.

Swayze · November 2005

Let's put it this way...

Your car flips while doing 70 on the freeway. You're trapped inside the mangled iron shell and the smell of leaked gasoline is the only distraction from the blinding pain of your left left arm having been severed. Oh, and the car's radio got knocked to a random station.
As you slip into darkness from the massive blood-loss would you rather have the last notes you hear be:

or

?

I guess I'd have to go with the "smooth vibes," although wishing desperately for death's sweet embrace.

Goodnight!

oooooh. I was going to say no, nothing worse than smooth jazz, but this post got me. damn. i guess there are worse things.

Birdman9 · November 2005

Let's put it this way...

Your car flips while doing 70 on the freeway. You're trapped inside the mangled iron shell and the smell of leaked gasoline is the only distraction from the blinding pain of your left left arm having been severed. Oh, and the car's radio got knocked to a random station.
As you slip into darkness from the massive blood-loss would you rather have the last notes you hear be:

or

?

I guess I'd have to go with the "smooth vibes," although wishing desperately for death's sweet embrace.

Goodnight!

oooooh. I was going to say no, nothing worse than smooth jazz, but this post got me. damn. i guess there are worse things.

So so many worse things. So many.

nrich · November 2005

'pop' country is definately worse in the realm of relative bad 'music'

Funky_McVay · November 2005

and anything else that sounds like this garbage

james · November 2005

The "Smooth" radio format is some revolutionary (if throwed-back) shit, though. Outside of mixtapes, in how many other contexts do you hear music that's programmed not by its genre and not by the demographics of its listenership but by its abstract aesthetic? My dad is deep in the Smooth lifestyle (dude was country when country wasn't cool, so to speak: He's been down with the Smoove unit since the mid-eighties when his avuncular cocoa co-worker Greg--he of the late-model zinfandel-colored something with the "LOAFIN" vanity plate--turned him out with some Najee), so whenever we go to visit him, it's wall-to-wall "Wave FM" or whatever--in the crib, in the convertible, while ordering assorted chicken-based wraps named after towns in Arizona, etc.--and I can honestly say that said station will seemingly play anything, by any artist, in any genre, from any time period, as long as it feels smooth. In one weekend, on one station, I heard Bobby Caldwell, late-period Miracles, Beck, Al Green, MacNeal and Niles, Paul Hardcastle, Etta James, The Deele, Dave Brubeck, Steely Dan, Maroon 5, Lee Morgan, Johnny Hammond, Jefferson Starship, Jobim, Talking Heads, and on and on and on. Regardless of how one feels about the individual artists, where the fuck else do you hear that kind of sensibility in wide public broadcast? Those of you that can't get past the specifics of the playlist ("Fuck a Kenny G, thun!"), think of it this way: Imagine if there was some station that would play anything, by any artist, in any genre, from any time period, as long as it felt hard (settle down, Beavis): MC5, Public Enemy, Metallica, Prince Far I, Funkadelic, Alber Ayler, M.O.P., and on and on and on. Well, that's what's going on with a lot of these "Smooth" stations. You ain't gotta like it, but please recgonize this for the soft bomb that it is.

And in a side note: All those who diss Men With Hats out of hand better hope that Clubbup doesn't see that shit. You'll be a bus ticket.

noz · November 2005

as the resident soulstrut nu-metal apologist, i feel a need to chime in and say that system of a down sounds nothing like papa roach.

Swayze · November 2005

Dang. Thats pretty deep.

the3rdstream · November 2005

That's a hard question to answer. Give me some ideas

faux_rillz · November 2005

That's a hard question to answer. Give me some ideas

Smooth rap:

badder_than_evil · November 2005

That's a hard question to answer. Give me some ideas

oh yes.i`d die of frustration trying to change the station if sealion dion was on the radio..

Swayze · November 2005

some of the later era Donald Byrd (like off of places and spaces) and Blackbyrds might be considered "smooth"--but yeah--most of this sucks the suck suck.

Birdman9 · November 2005

That's a hard question to answer. Give me some ideas

oh yes.i`d die of frustration trying to change the station if sealion dion was on the radio..

give me nu-metal, now-cuntry, smooth jazz and Rush Limbaugh over ANY of the above.

meatyogre · November 2005

cmon man, if it wasn't for smooth Jazz, Sonicreducer would be out of a job. Wasn't it something like 60% of the customers that visit Street Corner are looking strictly for smooth?

I think this is a profession-specific genre. You gotta be in the taxi-driving scene, or dentistry to really appreciate the aesthetic.

p_gunn · November 2005

I think this is a profession-specific genre. You gotta be in the taxi-driving scene, or dentistry to really appreciate the aesthetic.

true, to the point that i now associate Grover Washington with my teeth and gums being ripped apart... it's Pavlovian...

lotusland · November 2005

some of the light jazz shit on satellites would be aiight if they killed the sax solos. some of the bed tracks are nice. there is definitely a bunch of modern "CTI level" tunes are being made on a daily.

Soulhawk · November 2005

smoove jazz is the essence of 'gansta'...

DJ_NevilleC · November 2005

Smooth jazz doesn't bother me (I'll never listen to it). What bothers me is the use of the word "jazz" in the genre name.

parsec · November 2005

AC/DC

Bapt · November 2005

Bapt · November 2005

PS/ I like "music of elevator" aka smooth jazz.

TECUMSEH · November 2005

Nuff said.

Guzzo · November 2005

dude was country when country wasn't cool, so to speak: He's been down with the Smoove unit since the mid-eighties when his avuncular cocoa co-worker Greg--he of the late-model zinfandel-colored something with the "LOAFIN" vanity plate--turned him out with some Najee

I am in the process of memorizing this line so I can blurt it out in the middle of tonights class lecture at the most inopportune time.

Smooth Jazz is the modern "modern soul".

Screwed and chopped Collins & Collins while sippin on some robitussin CF in the front of 2003 Plymouth going 45 in a 50 zone

You feel me?

hcrink · November 2005

The "Smooth" radio format is some revolutionary (if throwed-back) shit, though. Outside of mixtapes, in how many other contexts do you hear music that's programmed not by its genre and not by the demographics of its listenership but by its abstract aesthetic? My dad is deep in the Smooth lifestyle (dude was country when country wasn't cool, so to speak: He's been down with the Smoove unit since the mid-eighties when his avuncular cocoa co-worker Greg--he of the late-model zinfandel-colored something with the "LOAFIN" vanity plate--turned him out with some Najee), so whenever we go to visit him, it's wall-to-wall "Wave FM" or whatever--in the crib, in the convertible, while ordering assorted chicken-based wraps named after towns in Arizona, etc.--and I can honestly say that said station will seemingly play anything, by any artist, in any genre, from any time period, as long as it feels smooth. In one weekend, on one station, I heard Bobby Caldwell, late-period Miracles, Beck, Al Green, MacNeal and Niles, Paul Hardcastle, Etta James, The Deele, Dave Brubeck, Steely Dan, Maroon 5, Lee Morgan, Johnny Hammond, Jefferson Starship, Jobim, Talking Heads, and on and on and on. Regardless of how one feels about the individual artists, where the fuck else do you hear that kind of sensibility in wide public broadcast? Those of you that can't get past the specifics of the playlist ("Fuck a Kenny G, thun!"), think of it this way: Imagine if there was some station that would play anything, by any artist, in any genre, from any time period, as long as it felt hard (settle down, Beavis): MC5, Public Enemy, Metallica, Prince Far I, Funkadelic, Alber Ayler, M.O.P., and on and on and on. Well, that's what's going on with a lot of these "Smooth" stations. You ain't gotta like it, but please recgonize this for the soft bomb that it is.

And in a side note: All those who diss Men With Hats out of hand better hope that Clubbup doesn't see that shit. You'll be a bus ticket.

dude... reading this has changed me...

I don't know if I can go on living the way I once did...

parsec · November 2005

DIE!!!

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Is there anything more horrible than Smooth Jazz??

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