Does your significant other trip on too many gigs?
day
9,611 Posts
I do not like this.I have about one a week this month with another last minute one lined up for tomorrow. Granted these aren't heavy paying joints, just local things, but I'm getting some $ doing what I love. I know you have to balance everything and I fully understand, in my case, her having to watch the likkle yoots more, but damn I had to turn down 2 nights in Portland because of so many this month.
/end rant.
/end rant.
Comments
So it's all relatve to your given push and pull.
Uh-oh.
Mine does, but it's usually because she's getting too many gigs. Not a problem I've had for a minute.
You are not alone, my friend.
Not a big deal, but I get the blues from the wife too if I gig too often or too close together.
Mad $$$? Yes.
Mad drama? Yes.
Don't know what to do... aside from taking the gig that is. I'm doing it.
good luck on that one.
My girl is pretty cool with it. I have an average of 2 gigs a week (besides a full time job), obviously she likes the extra cash but she really likes to see me doing what I like.
Yeah...
Ummm...
as i do for him.
but it does get frustrating when what we're doing runs back-to-back and we don't see each other for days and days until one of us climbs into bed.
"hey"
"hey"
"how was it? did you have fun?"
"yea/no"
"OK, i love you. good night"
"i love you too. good night"
That really does suck.
Yeah, gotta say I'm pretty lucky in that respect too. But wifey usually goes to bed around 9:30pm anyway so it's not like we're missing a lot of "together" time. As long as I wake up early enough on the weekend to go hiking or the flea market, I stay out of the doghouse.
She doesn't even complain too much when I'm gone for 3-7 days out of town for gigs.
Hm.
Should I be worried?
yea and it's a drag, but kinda funny when if it's been like that for a while and one of us has ONE MORE thing that comes up and how sheepish we get when we're about to tell the other one...
"uh so, i got a call from..."
silence
"and, well i was thinking of..."
silence
anyway, neither of us would ever ask the other not to do it.
Whussup DAY?
Yup, but she's been surprisingly chill about the frequency of gigs I've been getting lately. I can forsee it being a problem, but for now its seckle.
One thing I really like is finishing a gig and then coming home to climb in to the warm toasty bed with her. One of the number one simple pleasures in life.
And see that's important, and also to me the undestanding that there wouldn't be any abuse as to opportunity, makes sense?
Slowly my stuff is building where it looks I may have the opportunity to hit some out-of-state gigs. Oh man, my text messaging bill is gonna be like $40/month then.
I now schedule studio recording session once every two weeks, so I know I'll have one weekend to commit to my girl. Hopefully that's enough...
man, I ran up a 500$ phone/text bill with my gal when I was touring in EUrope.
Yea - this definitely would not work if we didn???t trust each other. We???re not really that kind of couple. Nevermind all the time we spend away from each other ??? I just wouldn???t be with anyone I didn???t trust in the first place, you know? Even when we go places together, we???re not joined at the hip or anything. I kinda like it when girls flirt with him, he gets all confused and funny and I???m like ???damn straight you???re flirting with him ??? he???s hot!???
It???s been seven years, we had to figure a lot of stuff out, but the basics were there from the start.
Well, this is your living, so I am sure the wife understands the $$$ necessity of it, not to mention your passion for it. It's just the idea of time away that can begin the drama.
And Marco, my wife is an ealy to bed gal as well, so that does help. Her main beef with it is that I overbook myself and get worn down. Keep in mind until recently I worked every weekend til 2am at a hospital...now I just do that every Sunday.
You know, I'm a big proponent of maintaining a certain amount of freedom from one's partner to a degree, which is one reason why I like doing out of town gigs to a degree, but not really like that. You know I feel that, IMO, it was the individual attributes that initially created the attraction between the 2 people. After a while in a relationship unfortunately, with the creation of "the unit" (which is a beautiful thing) there's a tendancy for the two people to get so involved ad wrapped up in the relationship (unit) that the individuality dissapates somewhat, which is why I feel that in a serious relationship, in order to make it work, both parties must do whatever they can to reinforce the sense of individuality that they possess. I am not advocating for people to not be faithful - the opposite actually. Be faithful to your partner, but just mae sure that you don't lose your mojo. A relationship can and will sap you of it.
But all in all, even when I'm working like a madman, we still do our best to make sure we have quality time. We go out of our way to schedule together time. I mean, between me and my DJing and her and law school, it's pretty crucial.
As for the flirtation thing, we'll I'm a flirt by nature but I know that I am so I try to keep it cool. On the other hand, I know that in a way it's good for business. My girl don't mind cause she knows that I'm true to her. At the same time I won't disrespect her and be all flirtatious with a girl while in her presence. Does that make me suspect?
Nah my dude, you hit it spot on. Losing the mojo... now I know why, when I get a lot of action outside, shit's a lot more jazzy back home. It's like... you gotta take that shit to the point of no return, stop, turn around, and go back to #1.
REAL TALK.
SPEAK IT.
My girl barely enjoys girls to come and talk to me at shows, unless she knows them. I mean, she doesn't trip, but she doesn't really like witnessing it, especially if the dame seems remotely "groupie-ish." Oh man, I get an earful on the way back from the gig.
hell no
this is a good relationshsip manifesto: