How to get a raccoon out of a dumpster?
Grafwritah
4,184 Posts
So anyway, there's been this raccoon in my dumpster for the past few days. At first I thought maybe he was just chillin lookin for somethin to eat. Then I wondered how the fuck he got in there with the lid closed. So I left the lid open and figured he'd hop the fuck out.
Nope.
2-3 days later, he's still in the corner. He's gotta be thirsty at least. Obviously I'm not gonna touch the fool but I feel kinda bad leaving him in there.
Not because he's thirsty or bored or whatever, but because coming up here real soon they're gonna empty the dumpster and he's gonna get tossed into the truck. Then they're gonna compact it.
Then you'll see him in a lecture on VIOLENCE, ACCIDENTS, AND POISONING.
I'll feel bad.
Nope.
2-3 days later, he's still in the corner. He's gotta be thirsty at least. Obviously I'm not gonna touch the fool but I feel kinda bad leaving him in there.
Not because he's thirsty or bored or whatever, but because coming up here real soon they're gonna empty the dumpster and he's gonna get tossed into the truck. Then they're gonna compact it.
Then you'll see him in a lecture on VIOLENCE, ACCIDENTS, AND POISONING.
I'll feel bad.
Comments
i guess you could find some old carpet or blanket and drape it on the side of the dumspter walls. He should be able to sink his claws into it and climb out.
Your neighborhood forest ranger,
Gamble
throw a plank in there so he can get out.
Yeah, give him a board to use to climb out.
And report back to us.
HAHAHA
wtf ? i grew up in the country for gods sake.
did the racoon ever make it outta the dumpster? heads wanna know the deal...
I've been thinking about that racoon LOTS since I saw this last week.
REAL HEADS WANNA KNOW
Apparently what happened was the raccoon wasn't trapped at all. For some reason, after decades of the dumpster being there, he suddenly decided it was the SPOT.
He wasn't stuck. The reason I saw him all the time is he decided to make that his place to sleep the day away.
What really tripped me out is the day before trash day there were TWO of those fuckers in there.
After concluding that they have the ability to multiply and therefore are probably not crippled, I figured the rest out about the whole daytime/nighttime thing.
Conveniently, the night before the dumpster was going to get emptied my brother and I were kickin it and he didn't leave until late. And sure enough, we went out there with a flashlight and there was no raccoon.
So, deducing they were out knockin over garbage cans but would return in the morning, I did the only thing I thought would make sense when dealing with animals that lack opposable thumbs.
I shut the lid.
When I got up in the morning, just for good measure I checked to make sure those little fuckers hadn't devised a series of levers or something to open the lid, and they hadn't. This is important because although they ended up not being crippled, they still would have returned in the morning to sleep, and would have still been crushed.
Thus far, people seem to have kept the lid closed. I can only deduce that they don't want the raccoons back, because they were surely noticed - by the end of the week the raccoons were in there, only the very bottom of the dumpster had trash in it when any other week that dumpster would be overflowing.
But I'll keep you posted if they make a comeback.
Country my ass...
the city is where those things multiply. I've seen them multiple times and always by accident and always at night; when you catch them they always look surprised like you just caught them fucking in an elevator or something.
Seriously though, there are more crews of raccoons than stray dogs.
^that's one of the funniest lines i've ever read on the strut!
And while I was buying some stuff for my new kitchen at a buiding center, a lady walked up to an employee and asked for help. Racoons in her dumpster!!! She didn't know waht to do and she was asking if she should get an electrical fence that she could wrap around her dumpster! hahahahahaha!