The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

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  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,902 Posts


  • JectWonJectWon (@_@) 1,654 Posts
    Whoa...don't remember this one.

    I'd have to be in the same headspace as they are...the whole unaffected by blood whatever...more specifically, I'd have to have some way/reason to not give a fuck about beating the shit out of a 5 year old...that would be tough.

    If possible....

    I would try to use a combination of punches, kicks and elbows. When I saw an angle...or a fat one, I'd shove him into the others and stomp the heads of any little shits that were unfortunate enough to be knocked to the ground by the fatty.

    I'd also try to use a well timed fake out...like "oh shit...your MOM!" and point....if they fell for that...again, a flurry of poorly executed punches, kicks and elbows. Also, I'd try to pull some shit like "Truce? I'll give you 50 bucks...Sersiously, dude." (they are just 5 right?) and then unleash the kid-killer left hook, if one made the mistake of dropping his guard.

    End of the day...I could maybe take 1 out.

  • LaserWolfLaserWolf Portland Oregon 11,517 Posts

  • dayday 9,611 Posts
    All it takes is one of them to blind or bite a chunk out of you and you either Hulk out or you're fucked in the game. This is ultimately a battle of wills.

    The real question is, would you rather fight a horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses?



  • vintageinfants said:
    this is how it goes down in my head.


  • vintageinfants said:
    this is how it goes down in my head.



    how it really happened:


  • I enjoy this thread, especially how it went for so long without anyone even questioning the reality of it. The original description makes me laugh. This would make a great movie or reality tv show.

  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,473 Posts
    day said:
    All it takes is one of them to blind or bite a chunk out of you and you either Hulk out or you're fucked in the game. This is ultimately a battle of wills.

    The real question is, would you rather fight a horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses?



    Tough call, but I'm going with horse-sized duck.

  • Fred_GarvinFred_Garvin The land of wind and ghosts 337 Posts
    Indeed... the giant duck could be distracted with a large piece of bread, thus making him vulnerable.

  • in a little scared of horses, but ill fuck a duck up.

  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,473 Posts
    vintageinfants said:
    in a little scared of horses, but ill fuck a duck up.

    Plus, horses can kick really fucking hard. Even a kick from a duck-sized one would hurt like a bitch--and getting kicked by 100 of 'em? Yeah, I'll take my chances with Bill Quacker.

  • JectWonJectWon (@_@) 1,654 Posts
    DJ_Enki said:
    vintageinfants said:
    in a little scared of horses, but ill fuck a duck up.

    Plus, horses can kick really fucking hard. Even a kick from a duck-sized one would hurt like a bitch--and getting kicked by 100 of 'em?...

    Horses can bite too, imagine getting bit about the shins and calves by 100 lil horses....

  • fuck that.. you ever seen a angry goose? those shits snap at you and get real heated. you gotta go with the horses and just kick at them like crazy. both options suck. a duck sized horse is like a medium small dog. but i cant see you doing damage to the duck. crazy insulated and large and its just towering over you and super strong. its not getting distracted by a scrap of bread, it wants to eat your face

  • vintageinfants said:
    in a little scared of horses, but ill fuck a duck up.

    That's what you say now, but wait 'til you get the bill...

  • JectWonJectWon (@_@) 1,654 Posts
    vintageinfants said:



    how it really happened:


    Wait...are those 5 year olds? If so...I'm upping my body count to 2.

  • covecove 1,566 Posts
    Eating the duck post-battle is gonna give me the motivation i need.

  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,473 Posts
    cove said:
    Eating the duck post-battle is gonna give me the motivation i need.

    "I'm gonna beat you to death and then eat you!" = great psych-out. If only ducks understood English....

  • Fred_GarvinFred_Garvin The land of wind and ghosts 337 Posts
    cove said:
    Eating the duck post-battle is gonna give me the motivation i need.
    Yeah, I thought of that too. If you were to win the fight, the duck would have a more delicious payoff.

  • ppadilhappadilha 2,243 Posts
    you all talk a good game, but I don't think anyone could handle a pack of properly trained 5-year-olds. Give them some bo-taoshi lessons and they'll be gouging your eyes out in no time:

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