Thirty Somethings
EIGHTY
224 Posts
I am currently 33 years old and in 5 months I will be turning 34. For awhile I have been ignoring the fact that I am in my thirties, but I can no longer ignore the truth in front of me. I am afraid of what the thirties have in store for me, it has it's ups and downs so far but for the most part it bums me out.
I was thinking since I believe some of you guys are older than me you can give me some insight, advice or suggestions?
Peace
I was thinking since I believe some of you guys are older than me you can give me some insight, advice or suggestions?
Peace
Comments
30s are years that have all that teen angst but without the fun.
Remember:when you're going through hell, keep going.
Not sure what there is to be depressed or scared or in denial about. Get hung up on it and it will drag you down and be a drag. Any limits and death knells are in your own head. When you're in your 80s, it will feel pretty silly to look back and see that you worried about being 34. Enjoy yourself.
Paying closer attention to your health and diet is good advice (at any age) as it will be harder to get on track, break bad habits and tend to neglect as time goes on.
If you are genetically defiant of this physical change, people still treat you like a kid. If you go grey and get pear-shaped, you get promoted.
Think a lot about how your own mind and taste works, how you make the particular connections that you make. This will help make you less reliant on external forces for inspiration, and less likely to mistake other people's opinions for your own.
Work hard to find a way to understand your value, make peace with yourself, and--on some level--love yourself. Because otherwise, whatever you disliked about yourself in your twenties, you're gonna fucking hate about yourself in your thirties.
Also, prepare to become invisible to teenagers, particularly those working in retail. You will be too old for them to mistake you for a fellow traveler, but too young for them to feel like they have to be nice to you. This will not always be a bad thing, but it will definitely be a thing.
This is hilariously true. My luscious mane may be holding me back.
OLD MAN SHAKES FIST AT THIRTYSOMETHINGS
As he asks which vegetarian cuisine to feed his dinner party.
Treat the depression, as you can't do anything about your age. For me that means exercise, hobbies, and talking about it with people that care about me. I've also learned to separate the voice in my head that's constantly talking, and learn when to listen and when to tell it to shut up because it's sabotaging me for no reason.
I started riding my bicycle to work when I was 34 to get some exercise in my life. It's an 11 mile round trip. It started out hard, but now it's easy and fun and I can do 30-50 mile trips like it's nothing. I always arrive to work happy when I ride, and generally upset when I drive because of traffic and bad drivers that make me more upset than I should be. My father in law is 60 and still plays soccer every Sunday of the year. He has aches and pains from it, but the happiness it gives him outweighs the trouble.
yo, we haven't had a plague, famine, or world war. you should thank your lucky fucking stars you're so soft in the middle.
drop knowledge then.
In my 30's I was still riding my bike 100 miles a day in NYC. I didn't notice any of this physical decline sort of thing until my mid/late 40s's.
You guys are making me feel young. :lalala:
While decked out in Batman garb, like a kooky old dude.
This
Special shout out to Batmon for dropping gem comments no matter the topic, we can always can't on you for that.
Peace
he can'ts on us more
focus on what you really enjoy doing the most, what satisfies you - dont give up - keep at it.
push through set backs. its very very hard to defeat someone who does not give up or stop.
invest time in your friends and family - steer clear of individuals that you severely dislike or make you feel bad, professionally and personally, walk away. figure out a way to be independent - make sure you are the one in control and making decisions when it concerns your life or how you fill your days. dont depend on money for happiness or as a yard stick for achievement - rather - find a way to do what you enjoy most for as little money as possible. keep an extremely open mind, talk less, listen more. always be learning. keep challenging yourself. read books and listen to music.
dont give a fuck. enjoy life. party hard and laugh as much as possible.
I noticed the usual stuff as I hit the 30s (back in the late 90s), and further changes come during the 40s. The big things I noticed were:
1. Loss of athletic ability:
-It was tough to notice that I lost a step or two on the basketball court during the late 90s/early 2000s. Plus, during lunch playing ball in my first prof. job, I figured out that I couldn't dunk anymore. I got the rip, and sped down the court bent on 'flushing the toilet.' I planted hard on my left knee and it buckled, so I had to get my George Gervin on with the finger roll.
2. My hairline thinned out:
-During the late 80s/early 90s, I rocked the 5" Neferti joint that was full and thick. Then, I got a low cut near the time I was about to finish U of Akron, and my hairline didn't come back in full. I had to grab the Edge shaving gel and the Bic and handle that shit. I wasn't about to rock the 'George Jefferson' that was destined to form.
3. I couldn't throw 'em back anymore:
-Man, during the 20s, I could drink like a mofo. Me and my peeps would polish off 5ths with no problems. Plus, I was sparkin' back then so I could hang there too. Then, I tried to go too many rounds with the wrong people only to suffer the whole next day. The party, as I used to know it, was over.
4. Mortality became more emiment.
-In the 30s, and even more so in the 40s now, people from my cohort are dying. Back in the 20s, deaths that occurred among people I knew were typically car accidents, murders, etc. Then, in the late 30s to the present (my mid 40s), I get those high school alumni emails chronicling deaths of classmates (and those ahead of and behind me) from DISEASES. Folks are dying of cancer, heart attacks, complications from diabetes, etc. This has really increased the salience of my own potential mortality, which makes it painfully clear that I may not have whole life ahead of me.
5. I pay more attention to my well-being:
-Dovetailing point #4, it forces me to appreciate life more, and in particular, pursue physical, emotional, and psychological well-being. I pay attention to my eating habits, work out, and take the time to enjoy leisure time. Long gone is that breakneck pursuit of the paper chase, as people in their middle ages can die in an instant. I leave work early sometimes, I get weekly massages, I get the yearly physical (my appointment is tomorrow), all stuff I took for granted in my 20s. I sit on the back patio and enjoy a glass of Merlot on a pleasant evening. I enjoy staring at the night sky. Savor every moment for life is a gift.
6. Where did that gray come from?
-Over the last decade in a half (from the 30s until now), I have gotten progressively grayer and grayer. I'll spare you the unpleasant details, yet I will say that the gray attacks your whole physical being. This, my friend, is a fact of life but also a sign that you've made it this far. If you're of the more superficial sort (which I am not), 'Just for Men' might be a worthwhile investment. My goatee looks like Large Pro these days!
7. Death in the family/parental aging:
-Over the past 4 years, I've endured deaths in my immediate family (my dad and brother). Before then, by the early 2000s, I finally saw my parents as 'old.' They were slumping over, facial skin started to hang, and they were no longer the young, vital folks I once knew. Along with this came greater responsibility to see to their physical well-being. I was compelled to move from the Upper Midwest back to the East Coast to be closer to the respective families (my wife's and my own). It's a weird transition to finally have to acknowledge the potential mortality of one's parents. Also, all of my grandparents have died as have the bulk of my great aunts and uncles. The fact of the matter is that this is symbolic of my own aging and closer proximity to eventual mortality. Such thoughts really puts life in harsh perspective. As Red said in 'Shawshank Redemption,' get busy living or get busy dying.
8. I'm old and no longer hip:
-I use to pride myself about being hip to new trends, popular culture, etc.; however, the reality is that I no longer can keep up (nor care to) with the trends of the young and popular culture. I think part of this for me is that I don't have children. More importantly, I am now comfortable in my own skin with aging, and I know what I like and dislike. So, I tend to stay with what works for me, but also venture into new ground for those things that do catch my eye. I have to watch the references I make to music, movies, and such with my (college) students because they won't know what in the hell I'm talking about. The jokes that worked in the late 90s don't work anymore with people born in the late 80s. I have had to face the fact that I am no longer of prime age, popular culture-wise.
9. I'm sore:
-As Sir Charles Barkley has stated, "Father time is undefeated." This becomes more obvious in the 30s as random aches and pains just hit you from nowhere. If you turn your head too quickly sometimes, you can hurt your neck! It's weird how I wake up stiff at times, so I have to focus more attention on staying active and limber. I stretch regularly now to avoid pulls and stuff like that.
10. I can't see/nightglare and I'm tired:
-I have noticed over the last couple of years that I have some difficulty reading CD liner notes that are printed too small. Now, I look like pop reading my grades at the end of the (college) semester, holding the sheet a few feet from my face. I'm middle-aged and I face the physical limits off it such as greater difficulty driving at night due to greater proneness to glare. Also, my attention span has dropped such that I hit a wall at a certain time of day (around 4PM or 5PM) where I can't take on highly intellectually-challenging work. In other words, I am not longer 'a machine' as I use to brag as a young man harkening to my relentless drive and energy to work. When you reach my age, you won't give that much of a shit anymore, and that's a great thing. With time, you come to realize that, physiologically and psychologically, you lack the capacity for non-stop work and exertion. Realizing this early enough will help avoid unnecessary physical ailments such as injuries and heart attacks. The point is to be the best you can be at your age. It is tomfoolery to use a 25-year old frame-of-reference when you're 44-years old. That shit is in the rear-view mirror, and it is best left there.
In sum, aging is great!!! The years of experience and the wisdom it brings is worth every challenge endured. Plan for the future (physically, emotionally, psychologically, and financially) to be prepared for the long haul. The steps you take toward a planning for the future today will pay you beautiful and lasting dividends tomorrow. Be well, my friend!
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
not to mention I recently JUST got my drivers license as well...so the added freedom, has me feeling younger...oddly enough....
I honestly figured that by now, I would have grown out of "this record buying thing" and "this painting on walls thing" but I have loads of plans already for spring, sitting on 36cans of paint already and already have records on order, lol. someone once told me that when we are kids all we want to do is be older and when we are older all we want to do is be kids again so I figured I am going to break even here eventually...
and although I fuckin hate drinking wine....they say all things gets better with age yo!