Do I live next door to a time bomb? scary kid-R
bassie
11,710 Posts
I'm not really asking for advice or anything...more writing out of being so freaked out.
Our neighbours on one side are parents in the early 40s with a son about 13 or 14. The dad drinks heavily for sure, possibly the mother, too. The dad is super friendly and the mother pretends not to see me and won't make eye contact. The son is sheepish and pretty much acts like he would for his age.
Except...the mother and kid have a terrible relationship that really shows out in the summer when all the windows are open. As a general example of the mood, she calls him stupid and that he will always be so and they both swear like fire back and forth. F*ck you, f*ck off, shut the f*ck up...all of it.
When I first moved here and got a taste of it, my ex and I were casually talking about making a fake pamphlet about abuse in the home and slipping it in their mailbox. We never did.
The kid is really good friends with a boy on our street and I can hear them playing in the backyard next door. Their play is really messed up to me. I have not forgotten childhood games and I hung out with a lot of boys, so I know violence can be a part of things, but this is just play creepy - especially within the home situation.
Right now, the two are doing up scenarios where they are being chased and they are elaborately describing how they would torture and kill their enemies. I can't see what they are using, but they are beating the shit out of something back there with a couple of sticks and hedge clippers as they describe cracking the skull, cutting out the kneecaps, etc. A few weeks ago they were running at each other with the hedge clippers and it got to a point where one was pleading "we're even now, we're even now", while the other kept throwing dirt in his face. I had a friend over in the back and he was like "these kids are f*cked up." So it's not just me!
Two points -
The boy next door has a few animals, I do wonder and worry about their safety. The cat got out one day and I found the two kids in my yard (having jumped the fence) looking for her and the kid was visibly upset - whether it was out of concern and love or for worry over being in trouble, I'm not sure. I gave them shit in a nice way and said all they had to do was ask to come in, but jumping the fence was not cool. They apologized.
The kid from down the street, I saw him leaning out their side door one morning, pissing into a plant pot. We made eye contact and he just continued.
Our neighbours on one side are parents in the early 40s with a son about 13 or 14. The dad drinks heavily for sure, possibly the mother, too. The dad is super friendly and the mother pretends not to see me and won't make eye contact. The son is sheepish and pretty much acts like he would for his age.
Except...the mother and kid have a terrible relationship that really shows out in the summer when all the windows are open. As a general example of the mood, she calls him stupid and that he will always be so and they both swear like fire back and forth. F*ck you, f*ck off, shut the f*ck up...all of it.
When I first moved here and got a taste of it, my ex and I were casually talking about making a fake pamphlet about abuse in the home and slipping it in their mailbox. We never did.
The kid is really good friends with a boy on our street and I can hear them playing in the backyard next door. Their play is really messed up to me. I have not forgotten childhood games and I hung out with a lot of boys, so I know violence can be a part of things, but this is just play creepy - especially within the home situation.
Right now, the two are doing up scenarios where they are being chased and they are elaborately describing how they would torture and kill their enemies. I can't see what they are using, but they are beating the shit out of something back there with a couple of sticks and hedge clippers as they describe cracking the skull, cutting out the kneecaps, etc. A few weeks ago they were running at each other with the hedge clippers and it got to a point where one was pleading "we're even now, we're even now", while the other kept throwing dirt in his face. I had a friend over in the back and he was like "these kids are f*cked up." So it's not just me!
Two points -
The boy next door has a few animals, I do wonder and worry about their safety. The cat got out one day and I found the two kids in my yard (having jumped the fence) looking for her and the kid was visibly upset - whether it was out of concern and love or for worry over being in trouble, I'm not sure. I gave them shit in a nice way and said all they had to do was ask to come in, but jumping the fence was not cool. They apologized.
The kid from down the street, I saw him leaning out their side door one morning, pissing into a plant pot. We made eye contact and he just continued.
Comments
or Child Protective Services...
Never knew about this. I can see it becoming a vortex lol
It's hard to tell how serious it may or may not be. The way she talks to him and treats him, is certainly grounds for professional intervention, but as for his "play" - who knows.
The fights the boy and mother have are some of the ugliest I've heard between any two humans. The screaming-til-they're-hoarse that they both do is outrageous. And there is no line, they go at it in front of the friend.
Last year, the poor guy who lives across from us basically froze mid-raking because it sounded like murder. That's the other thing, I am not sure if it will escalate to physical confrontation between them; there is no sign of it now.
Anyway. Thanks for listening to me. They're eating bar b q now.
maybe do a head count on the pets
I would say something.
Don't be afraid to intervene.
Sounds potentially really bad.
edit - I am not afraid to intervene, but I can think of my own family and how we must have seemed to outsiders if someone was to peel back the walls on us during some very stressful times. As an adult, looking back, I can say that intervention was not necessary.
Getting involved in this scenario is very likely to result in both parties turning against you.
I would only do this in the direst of circumstances. I would much sooner make an anonymous report of possible abuse.
don't let them drag you into their mess. particularly the parents.
Yeah, this is what I meant.
But I also don't see a problem with saying something directly to the mother.
If the fighting is so loud the whole damn street can hear, well that's just rude.
Would you tell neighbors to turn down loud music?
You would think she would feel bad about it after being told by a neighbor. You'd think.
Then again, I don't exactly know the details.
You probably know whats best, as you sound concerned.
Absolutely not.
This is not Movado at 4.30am - it is layers of family issues that I am not about to comment on directly to those involved...who I hardly know.
I have not even told you about her, this is the tip of the iceberg of which I've witnessed.
Anonymous call is the only way I would go at this point if it came to it.
Even if hands are not being laid on the kid, a visit by the CPS might give them a wake-up call that the shit can be considered serious. I would make the anonymous call.
Damn right.
You should see the things that parents do to their children on Chicago buses.
True, but it doesn't make it right.
I say make the call if it continues, and bassie remains concerned.
And not the first choice, but I still think saying something directly would not have unfavorable consequences, such as "turning them against you".
She already ignores you anyway, right?
What could happen?
Gonna get TPed?
Haha, but seriously, this domestic shit gets to me. That's why I'm spoutin'.
Peace.