Long Lost Family
behemoth
2,189 Posts
so i figured i would tell this story about the crazy world of Facebook. it is a little long so bear with me. but overall just really insane. i am sure a few people can relate.
most of this story contains info i gathered from my mother. there are probably portions of it left out (maybe she had something to do with it and feels weird portraying herself in that light) but any way
i have always had an uncle named Paul on my mothers side that i never met. i always used to ask her "why?" but she never told me. she used to say he just disappeared. in the last 2 weeks my sister somehow bumped into that uncles wife (my aunt i guess) via Facebook. recognized my mothers maiden name through a mutual friend and contacted her.
she was very cordial and said "yes i am Pauls wife. are you Kathleen's daughter? etc etc" they talked and eventually was able to talk to my mother. my mother has still not spoken with my mother because i guess he doesn't want to for some reason.
my mother told me that right after i was born (May 1982) my uncle Bob (i see him a few times a year. also he is openly gay) received a call from Paul saying "don't you ever speak to me again" he didn't know why. maybe because he was gay? maybe there was something going we don't know about. they never spoke again. Paul (the estranged guy) then called my grandmother (his mother) and said "it's either him or me. if you keep speaking to Bob then you may as well not speak to me". they never spoke again. my mother was the last remaining person and they actually kept in touch for about a year.
at the end of that year my mother approached him after having minimal contact and conversations that consisted of one word answers and asked "do you even want to speak to me? you don't seem interested. do you want me to go away?" he just said "ok yea". they haven't spoke since then so about 1983...
now this is the messed up part of the story (thank you if you are still with me). my sister also was able to get in touch with a kid named Eric (he is 30 and my our cousin). our uncle had 2 boys. so i guess i have 2 cousins. i knew about them through my mother. when my sister told Eric that she was his cousin he was completely bugged out.
not only did he not know he had 2 cousins. HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HIS FATHER HAD A BROTHER AND SISTER OR THAT MY GRANDMOTHER WAS ALIVE!! he denied them that information for their whole life.
and through what i heard from my sister Eric is completely overwhelmed and he doesn't know what to do or think....
granted no one wants to talk would you deem it acceptable? the internet basically just opened up a locked vault for this kid. showed him that his father had been keeping information away from him for his whole life...
i just thought i would share it. maybe if there are similar stories i would like to hear them but whatever
i really don't have a desire to connect with anyone from that portion of the family because i don't know what happened and i don't want to get involved in a matter i had nothing to do with. who knows what is going on over there? plus i have an amazing relationship with my immediate family.
just insane stuff...
most of this story contains info i gathered from my mother. there are probably portions of it left out (maybe she had something to do with it and feels weird portraying herself in that light) but any way
i have always had an uncle named Paul on my mothers side that i never met. i always used to ask her "why?" but she never told me. she used to say he just disappeared. in the last 2 weeks my sister somehow bumped into that uncles wife (my aunt i guess) via Facebook. recognized my mothers maiden name through a mutual friend and contacted her.
she was very cordial and said "yes i am Pauls wife. are you Kathleen's daughter? etc etc" they talked and eventually was able to talk to my mother. my mother has still not spoken with my mother because i guess he doesn't want to for some reason.
my mother told me that right after i was born (May 1982) my uncle Bob (i see him a few times a year. also he is openly gay) received a call from Paul saying "don't you ever speak to me again" he didn't know why. maybe because he was gay? maybe there was something going we don't know about. they never spoke again. Paul (the estranged guy) then called my grandmother (his mother) and said "it's either him or me. if you keep speaking to Bob then you may as well not speak to me". they never spoke again. my mother was the last remaining person and they actually kept in touch for about a year.
at the end of that year my mother approached him after having minimal contact and conversations that consisted of one word answers and asked "do you even want to speak to me? you don't seem interested. do you want me to go away?" he just said "ok yea". they haven't spoke since then so about 1983...
now this is the messed up part of the story (thank you if you are still with me). my sister also was able to get in touch with a kid named Eric (he is 30 and my our cousin). our uncle had 2 boys. so i guess i have 2 cousins. i knew about them through my mother. when my sister told Eric that she was his cousin he was completely bugged out.
not only did he not know he had 2 cousins. HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HIS FATHER HAD A BROTHER AND SISTER OR THAT MY GRANDMOTHER WAS ALIVE!! he denied them that information for their whole life.
and through what i heard from my sister Eric is completely overwhelmed and he doesn't know what to do or think....
granted no one wants to talk would you deem it acceptable? the internet basically just opened up a locked vault for this kid. showed him that his father had been keeping information away from him for his whole life...
i just thought i would share it. maybe if there are similar stories i would like to hear them but whatever
i really don't have a desire to connect with anyone from that portion of the family because i don't know what happened and i don't want to get involved in a matter i had nothing to do with. who knows what is going on over there? plus i have an amazing relationship with my immediate family.
just insane stuff...
Comments
But if you think that's bugged out. A friend who I grew up with in Puerto Rico was orginally from Florida, and had a lot of family there, more than he actually knew. His father passed away when we were kids, it was all really sad. Fifteen years later my friend's little sister is in college in Florida, and randomly at a bar meets this other girl, they have a lot in common and so they become friends. As the friendship develops and they learn more about their families, it turns out that they shared a lot of similarities. They start looking into it and it turns out their father had another family in Florida and they were half sisters! Their mother had kept it from them because she was so mad at the whole situation, but she recently admitted it. The other girl's mother had changed their name when the father passed away,a nd so her kids never knew either. My friend found out at 29 years old that he had two other half brothers and one half sister. He's never met them or reached out, because he says his own family is crazy enough.
yea but i heard you don't read it
About 10 years ago my wife called me at work to tell me a young girl(16) had just called the house looking for me and claiming I was her Dad. My wife took her # and I immediately called her. She went ton to tell me that her Dad's name was Richard Haupt and that he had been in prison when she was born and she never met him.
Now at 16 she used the Internet to try to find him and was successful as she had located him in Dallas and spoken to him a few weeks before she called me. They made plans to meet and when she called back a week later the phone was disconnected and the dude was a ghost. She assumed my listing was his new # but realized after speaking to me it wasn't.
I felt really bad for this girl and gave her my word I would try to help her contact her Dad. Having tracked many musicians over the years I had some experience doing this. I spent a good two weeks doing everything I knew how to find this guy and even spent some $$ to do so with no success. I have checked a few times over the years to no avail.
Sounds like she is better off without him.
crazy story behemoth! it is really sad that your cousin was sheltered from your side of the family for so long. i guess this is a touchy subject for everyone, but i wouldn't dismiss trying to make a connection. who knows how that person's life has been, maybe he could have benefited from your side of the family.
atleast in my opinion, if i found informaiton like this i would HAVE to dig deeper. i would need to know the story, family secrets are the dirtiest!
This major car accident happened less than a mile from my house, and I found out after the fact that the two sisters who were killed are my third cousins. Apparently I have extended family sprinkled all around me on Long Island from my fathers side, don't know any of them and probably never will.
:post_modern: