An Incident

nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts
edited October 2008 in Strut Central
I have just started at a very corporate company.b,121b,121I received this email the other day from the head of our department:b,121b,121Team,b,121b,121Please note that as of today the ----- department has assigned ----- as the incident manager to handle all performance related issues. In order to establish effective communication around issue management, ----- will act as our single point of contact to manage issue related communication with the ----- department.b,121b,121So, as of today, please don't communicate directly with people in the ----- dept yourself but go through ----- instead. If ----- is not available, please escalate to me. Only when both ----- and me are not available, can you contact ----- directly.b,121b,121b,121b,121i1This one followed within the hour:/i1b,121b,121Hi team,b,121b,121Based on some of your feedback I would like to define more clearly what we consider an "incident":b,121b,121For now we consider something an "incident" when it has "substantial direct (negative) impact on sales due to the fact that elements in the end-to-end process that used to work have broken down or show serious performance issues".b,121b,121In the case of an incident, please work with ----- or me to contact -----. This way, we can keep track of all serious issues and how they are resolved. In you doubt if something is an incident or not, please consult ----- or me.b,121b,121Let me know if there are any questions.b,121b,121b,121b,121i1So i forwarded the emails to my brother who happens to be an English teacher. Here is his reply:/i1b,121b,121-------,b,121 b,121An event occured on Friday which seems to have had a negative impact, although the perceived impact may or may not be directly related to the incident or otherwise influenced by external variables such as ink cartridges, so I am writing to enquire whether -------- or yourself can clarify if said incident was in fact an "incident" or was incidental, in which case it can be resolved quickly by sales.b,121 b,121The event or incident involved communication between one member of staff and another regarding office equipment and may have also affected other staff and customers if it is in fact classed as an incident. If not then my records will show that there was no effect affected as the incident would be merely incidental and therefore not warrant the classification of an incident as the negative impact must then only be perceived and not actual having no documented reference in the records under an incident report.b,121 b,121I would be very grateful if you could provide me with clarification shortly.b,121 b,121Incidentally, I have prepared an incident report with statements from the two staff members involved in what may or may not have been an incident and one other staff member who may or may not have been involved in what could be an incident or otherwise would be an incidental event, in which case they were not involved.b,121 b,121With your go ahead I will sign off on the incident report and forward it through the communications department via the mailroom to ----- who may then make a decision on the matter or forward it to you so that you can in turn gauge whether the possible incident or event should be brought to the attention of the ----- department. b,121 b,121If you do decide that the negative effects of the event constitute an incident for the attention of the ----- department then please have your secretary forward the incident report to me via courier and I will pass it to ------- in the ------ department because his cubicle is right next to mine.b,121b,121b,121

  Comments


  • Class!

  • JimBeamJimBeam Seattle. 2,012 Posts
    b,121b,121but seriously-- you think that shit is rhetorical nonsense, you should see some government agency emails that get passed around.
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