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SOULSTRUT COMEDY GOLD

pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts
edited April 2008 in Strut Central
Jewbacca, 4/2/08:
I've been burned by (Milton Nascimento) enoughyou don't sleep with a girl again after she gave you the clap 3 timesI ain't never grinding with Nascimento no more
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  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts
    Soul On Ice, 4/3/05:

    I would love to start a thread about 45's people bought where the title was like, "Funky Funking MotherFunker," on a usually good label, say, Sussex, and the artist's name was like, "Willie McSoul," and you get it home, hands shaking as you put it on the turntable, and it turns out to be bluegrass with kazoos!!
  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts
    H. Crink, 3/2/08

    You guys with dual wall units full of thrift shop indiscretions need to get tough with yourselves and face the fact that you are not "collecting records", but are in fact a pair of soiled overalls and a plaid shirt away from becoming antique shop Willie.
  • hogginthefogghogginthefogg 6,098 Posts
    edpowers, 8/4/05

    fuck the previous dj...run the needle across whatever bullshit record he was playing..(that way you'll get the crowds attention)...grab the mic and say "YA'LL MUTHAFUCKAS READY FOR THE REAL SHIT SAY HOOOOO!!!!!" at this point drop a loop of Flash's theme by Queen on -8 pitch then lead the crowd in the call/response of your choice
    something like "when i say dj...yall say ... (insert dj name here) ...dj ... (name)... dj... (name) "

    then say "big shout to (fake celebrity who really isn't there) in the house..i see you dog...imma bout to do this....here we go "

    then transform scratch into whatever song you choose to play..
  • faux_rillzfaux_rillz 14,343 Posts
    Strider79it, 4/1/08:

    in all fairness is not nice hearing people school others on what they suppose to like .... if one prefers Bob Porter stuff to Detroit Emeralds does it means they are lil dude or something?
  • rootlesscosmorootlesscosmo 12,848 Posts
    StressDollaz, Show all user's posts
  • Strider79itStrider79it 1,176 Posts
    faux rills:

    Those records are terds, dude.
  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts
    Bambouche, 5/4/07:

    A few questions for the few International Men of Stylish Grace on this board:


    WHEN BUYING A SUIT... A DAMN CHARMING SUIT

    Cufflinks or not? (Yea, I saw Ross Hogg's comment, which makes sense, but this is a question of One-Time Sighting of A Punker in Stunning Elegance and not some Mr. Dapper Daily Digger[/b] type shit.)

    "Dapper Daily Digger!"
  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,025 Posts
    edpowers' post still elicits silly giggles. Classic material.
  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts
    edpowers' post still elicits silly giggles. Classic material.

    which one?
  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts
    oh, i figured out which edpowers post, no big t'ing, man.

    more classic Strut laffriots:
    http://www.soulstrut.com/ubbthreads/show...true#Post810615
  • verb606verb606 2,518 Posts


    oh hell yes. I haven't laughed that hard since that fart thread where Sween was dropping mad gems, literally and figuratively.
  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts
    is this it?


    http://www.soulstrut.com/ubbthreads/show...part=1&vc=1
  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts
    4/15/08

    THAT MONO DAVE CLARK FIVE I TRADED YOU BOOKS FOR SIXTY BUCKS IN THE NEW GOLDMINE YOU LYING COCKSUCKER!

  • highschemehighscheme 784 Posts
    edpowers, 8/4/05

    fuck the previous dj...run the needle across whatever bullshit record he was playing..(that way you'll get the crowds attention)...grab the mic and say "YA'LL MUTHAFUCKAS READY FOR THE REAL SHIT SAY HOOOOO!!!!!" at this point drop a loop of Flash's theme by Queen on -8 pitch then lead the crowd in the call/response of your choice
    something like "when i say dj...yall say ... (insert dj name here) ...dj ... (name)... dj... (name) "

    then say "big shout to (fake celebrity who really isn't there) in the house..i see you dog...imma bout to do this....here we go "

    then transform scratch into whatever song you choose to play..


    this shit is classic and I still want to try this one time
  • holmesholmes 3,532 Posts
    edpowers, 8/4/05

    fuck the previous dj...run the needle across whatever bullshit record he was playing..(that way you'll get the crowds attention)...grab the mic and say "YA'LL MUTHAFUCKAS READY FOR THE REAL SHIT SAY HOOOOO!!!!!" at this point drop a loop of Flash's theme by Queen on -8 pitch then lead the crowd in the call/response of your choice
    something like "when i say dj...yall say ... (insert dj name here) ...dj ... (name)... dj... (name) "

    then say "big shout to (fake celebrity who really isn't there) in the house..i see you dog...imma bout to do this....here we go "

    then transform scratch into whatever song you choose to play..


    this shit is classic and I still want to try this one time
    Yeah, this still sometimes flashes across my mind as I am cueing up a record for play after someone else's at a gig. All time legendary post.
  • pacmanpacman 1,114 Posts
    edpowers, 8/4/05

    fuck the previous dj...run the needle across whatever bullshit record he was playing..(that way you'll get the crowds attention)...grab the mic and say "YA'LL MUTHAFUCKAS READY FOR THE REAL SHIT SAY HOOOOO!!!!!" at this point drop a loop of Flash's theme by Queen on -8 pitch then lead the crowd in the call/response of your choice
    something like "when i say dj...yall say ... (insert dj name here) ...dj ... (name)... dj... (name) "

    then say "big shout to (fake celebrity who really isn't there) in the house..i see you dog...imma bout to do this....here we go "

    then transform scratch into whatever song you choose to play..



  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts
    4/16/08

    Laptops on the train, a bad look?

    I don't mean on the commuter rail on the long trip out to the suburbs, I'm talking about the subway. This dude is posted up on the train. Laptop on his lap. Watching a movie with the sound blaring out like it was nothing! Headphones, homie, headphones!

    To make matters worse, he was watching the damn Chipmunks movie! Argggh. I had to switch cars.

    If someone's not bothering anybody, I guess I'm not mad. With that Chipmunks fool, I wanted to take his computer and smash it into his face like a pie. C'mon dog, on the morning train? fuck outta here.

  • faux_rillzfaux_rillz 14,343 Posts
    Strider79it, 4/9/08:

    faux rills:

    Those [Michael Longo]records are terds, dude.
  • Young_PhonicsYoung_Phonics 8,039 Posts
    When THE_MACK dropped "line up the pucchini"...that was a special moment.

    Man, I think a lot the stuff THE_MACK dropped was classic.
  • hogginthefogghogginthefogg 6,098 Posts
    When THE_MACK dropped "line up the puccini[/b]"...that was a special moment.

    Man, I think a lot the stuff THE_MACK dropped was classic.

    The best thing about that is that he clearly thought it was pronounced "poo-SEE-nee."
  • verb606verb606 2,518 Posts
    4/16/08

    Laptops on the train, a bad look?

    I don't mean on the commuter rail on the long trip out to the suburbs, I'm talking about the subway. This dude is posted up on the train. Laptop on his lap. Watching a movie with the sound blaring out like it was nothing! Headphones, homie, headphones!

    To make matters worse, he was watching the damn Chipmunks movie! Argggh. I had to switch cars.

    If someone's not bothering anybody, I guess I'm not mad. With that Chipmunks fool, I wanted to take his computer and smash it into his face like a pie. C'mon dog, on the morning train? fuck outta here.



    I'm honored that Pickwick upgraded my post to Gold status.
  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts
    Quote:
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    4/16/08

    Laptops on the train, a bad look?

    I don't mean on the commuter rail on the long trip out to the suburbs, I'm talking about the subway. This dude is posted up on the train. Laptop on his lap. Watching a movie with the sound blaring out like it was nothing! Headphones, homie, headphones!

    To make matters worse, he was watching the damn Chipmunks movie! Argggh. I had to switch cars.

    If someone's not bothering anybody, I guess I'm not mad. With that Chipmunks fool, I wanted to take his computer and smash it into his face like a pie. C'mon dog, on the morning train? fuck outta here.


    I'm honored that Pickwick upgraded my post to Gold status.

    I think it was that detail about the Chipmunks - and your ensuing disgust - that had me in LOL mode.
  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,473 Posts

    I just skimmed through that thread again, trying to stifle my laughter so my co-workers wouldn't come over and ask what's so funny. Goddamn, that whole thread was hilarious.

    But there was another one, though. It was called "Memorable Farts" or something like that, and it was hee-fuck[/b]ing-larious. Sween pretty much killed it with his description of how to release a fart as though you were a drum major.
  • verb606verb606 2,518 Posts




    But there was another one, though. It was called "Memorable Farts" or something like that, and it was hee-fuck[/b]ing-larious. Sween pretty much killed it with his description of how to release a fart as though you were a drum major.

    Or the Heisman trophy, or a matador. I mentioned that earlier in the thread (a minute ago) That fart thread was the one that had me get uncontrollable hysterics. Does someone has the link to that one? Sween owned that shit.

    These classic threads should be compiled in a book. I would love to read the shit thread while on the shitter.
  • selperfugeselperfuge 1,165 Posts
    i bet you would just read it with a laptop
  • SIRUSSIRUS 2,554 Posts
    edpowers, 8/4/05

    fuck the previous dj...run the needle across whatever bullshit record he was playing..(that way you'll get the crowds attention)...grab the mic and say "YA'LL MUTHAFUCKAS READY FOR THE REAL SHIT SAY HOOOOO!!!!!" at this point drop a loop of Flash's theme by Queen on -8 pitch then lead the crowd in the call/response of your choice
    something like "when i say dj...yall say ... (insert dj name here) ...dj ... (name)... dj... (name) "

    then say "big shout to (fake celebrity who really isn't there) in the house..i see you dog...imma bout to do this....here we go "

    then transform scratch into whatever song you choose to play..


    this shit is classic and I still want to try this one time
    Yeah, this still sometimes flashes across my mind as I am cueing up a record for play after someone else's at a gig. All time legendary post.
    yeah, it really still is one of the funniest posts eva on this board.
  • hogginthefogghogginthefogg 6,098 Posts
    i bet you would just read it with a laptop

    Not if he was taking a shit on the train.
  • verb606verb606 2,518 Posts
    i bet you would just read it with a laptop


    touche, mon ami.
  • pickwick33pickwick33 8,946 Posts
    BigSpliff, 1/18/06, talking about Joe Bataan:

    Come on his singing sucks. Sounds like a drunk wifebeater.
    (although)The instrumental shit it genius
  • shooteralishooterali 1,591 Posts
    What I do when using other people's toilets is flush as soon as the shit falls out of my ass.
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