Valentine's Day Horror Stories
DB_Cooper
Manhatin' 7,823 Posts
I know we're all feeling the love today, but sometimes things go horribly, horribly awry. Here's a little funny story I just heard, not one minute ago at work.I work at a PBS/NPR station, and we have an annual Valentine's Day pledge drive on our radio station. This year, we offered roses, boxes of cookies and brownies, and orchids as thank-you gifts. We had approximately 460 orders for the orchids, which were packed with a vase and a card bearing the sender's loving sentiments, and delivered today.
Lovely, no?We just found out that approximately 440 of the orders went out with the wrong cards. So all over New England today, wives, girlfriends, mothers, and assorted other loved ones will be receiving gifts of love, and possibly a little dirty talk, from someone they've never met.The blowback should be incredible. I'm betting at least one relationship, already teetering on the brink, will go up in flames as a result. Probably more than that.So Happy V-Day, all! If you ordered orchids from us, it wasn't our fault. I swear. It was the Orchid Guys.
Lovely, no?We just found out that approximately 440 of the orders went out with the wrong cards. So all over New England today, wives, girlfriends, mothers, and assorted other loved ones will be receiving gifts of love, and possibly a little dirty talk, from someone they've never met.The blowback should be incredible. I'm betting at least one relationship, already teetering on the brink, will go up in flames as a result. Probably more than that.So Happy V-Day, all! If you ordered orchids from us, it wasn't our fault. I swear. It was the Orchid Guys.
Comments
it's good to see that dudes are choosing orchids over red roses though.
red roses
no offense to dudes here who got girls red roses
The end of public broadcasting?
ABSOLUTELY. At this point, a dude is basically saying, "I PUT NO THOUGHT INTO THIS. YOU LIKE?" with red roses.
What kind of flowers is yuichi getting for bassie?
I'm guessing sweaty ones.
Kobes
I heard he programmed one of these joints to deliver a customized message of love:
[ Bassie ]
Kobe, how many girls have said "I love you?"
Not like 'I love you Kobe!' like a fan
But like, for real, like, baby, marry me
I love you
[ Kobe ]
You're sweet
Once again (Once again)
Flawless (Flawless)
C'mon
Right
Uh, uh huh
Yo, yo, it's like this[/b]
Uh, what I live for? Basketball, beats and broads
>From Italy to the US, yes, it's raw
I'ma search for the one that
make my wealth feel poor
Who can ignore the spotlight life of Grandma
My downfall is how I found the
aura, so I searched in
There's plenty of women with sex
appeal when it's filled
Can even complete the package,
all I date is actresses
Can play it safe with them, my money ain't bait
But I must take risks to find a honey that's legit
Whether she push a buck and a six,
bumpin' some mad chips
Out on her own, or live out of moms and pop's home
Watch time, fashion, Garanimals attire or Timbo's
I don't know, yo, these women come and go
Like the wind they blow, how do I
know it's you for sure?
When God talk to me, give me a signal
But until then, all my ears hear, just let me flow
C'mon
[/b]
That part's pretty funny too. The reason 440 of the 460 were wrong is that the guy who sent them spot checked 20, and they were all wrong, so he he fixed those 20.
And sent the rest.
The controller in the office is out going beserk spreading the gospel about the New World Order, which basically occupies a third of his day.
wait, what? This should be on the news. Full blast must be put on this, for real.
Now the question is: how do you screw up every single package??
and also, if you spot checked 20 and they were ALL wrong, wouldn't you spot check 20 more? 0 for 20 is not exactly a sign that things have gone well.
hahahahaha
stay the course motherfuckers!!!!!!
wow
that sucks
440 * 9 = 3960 3 + 9 + 6 + 0 = 18 / 2 = 9![/b]
460 * 9 = 4140 4 + 1 + 4 + 0 = 9![/b]
20 * 9 = 180 1 + 8 + 0 = 9![/b]
We send a data file to the vendor. They print the shipping labels and create the cards. So you have two sets of matching items. Say you pull the first card out and stick it between two other cards. Now the fifth label corresponds to the sixth card, etc. Every one of them is wrong.
Sheer idiocy. That's the only explanation. It amazes me that people can be that stupid, but they can. I'm tempted to take a walk down to the inbound customer service area to watch a little bit of the chaos. This must be one of the worst days of their respective professional careers. If you can call customer service a profession.
The original story made me laugh but this is no nextlevel it's genius. Made my day.
I got both for my girl... a couple red roses , a massive orchid , and some other good looking flowers .. a dozen red roses seems corny to me
1. Valentine's Day most romantic tattoo competition
Result: winner turns out to be a 15 year old who got the station logo inked to win prize of the day. Parents go apeshit. Out of court settlement and paid for laser removal.
2. Last one touching the car wins competition
Result: two cases of severe exhaustion and a heart attack. Sued, sued and sued.
3. Who can sit on a block of dry ice for the longest competition
Result: 2nd degree cold burns to four people, skin grafts and surgery required. Legally our biggest pay out.
4. Win a car competition (the joke being it was a toy car)
Result: pissed winner sues station for the price of a new, real car and wins. ??35,000 plus costs.
5. Guess how far the strongman will throw the dwarf competition
Result: stopped by angry members of the public, 300 phone complaints and a disability discrimination lawsuit. Enormous donation to charity.
6. Biggest minger photo competition (for the station website i.e ugliest girl)
Result: traumatised teenage winners who had no idea their photos had been sent in, radio apologies, out of court settlements.
He eventually got sacked.
Result: unfair dismissal claim. He won and left with a huge payout...
Ah, happy days.
Unless he gave the 15 year old the tattoo I don't see how he was resposible for that. And how is the heart attack or exhaution his fault?
Tattoo: the station logo was done at the DJ's suggestion, thought up by Marketo Man.
Car comp: you can't really have entrants standing around for 20 hours without water, refreshments or medical supervision on hand in a freezing warehouse in January.